!SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR!

Tony felt it from the very beginning. 

Tony knew this was never going to end well.

Tony couldn't think straight.

The ever-lasting fear for Peter's safety.

This just could not turn out well.

Peter had to survive, and Tony would do anything to make that possible if it meant sacrificing himself, he wouldn't even have second thoughts. It was Tony's worst nightmare. It was Tony's biggest fear. And it stuck there, at the back of his head, growing with every fight he had, with every punch to Thanos's head, with every glimpse at his son trying everything to knock the Titan down, with every look at Peter's shining eyes full of hope, lively chatter filling the silence between battles. Peter was always there to help anyone. Peter was always there, and Tony could never comprehend the fact, that he was just gone.

Gone.

Into thin air. 

Just ashes left. Not even a body of a soul the world never deserved. Drax, Quill, Mantis, Strange, everyone disappeared. And then he heard it. A child's voice from behind... His fear having found it's way into reality... the nightmare... the pain from every night...

Peter dying...Peter suffering...Only it wasn't a nightmare now... 

"Dad... Dad...I don't feel so good..."    

"You're alright."

It couldn't be happening, it just couldn't be happening. Nobody was allowed to touch his kid. NO ONE.Tony's heart thumped faster, he felt his blood freeze as Peter clung to him. He didn't feel anything anymore. He felt hopeless, completely useless, and he did not want to feel that way. Peter could not die. He would not be able to live with the fact that he couldn't do anything when his son would die in his arms. Peter did not deserve this. This was not happening...

"I don't know what's happening...Save me...save me....I don't want to go...I don't want to go...Dad...please...I don't want to go...I don't want to go... I don't want to go..."

Peter was begging him to live. A sixteen year old kid feeling as everyone in the world died, feeling the shock-wave reaching Earth, living through the pain of every death in the universe, a boy that didn't even finish high-school, a child that didn't deserve what the universe placed on his shoulders. And Tony felt like a heartless monster, not being able to help his only son, to spare the pain the poor boy had to bear.

His Peter didn't deserve this. 

He had failed Peter.

No. No. NO. Tony felt as Peter's leg gave up, the weight of the slowly disappearing body Tony could not hold much longer . He was tired, hopeless, knowing he could do nothing to save the boy clinging on to him, desperately asking to live. And Tony hated the feeling that he couldn't do anything. He was a failure, because he couldn't help his Peter. The tears stung his eyes, he was loosing his son...his son... his only son... his Peter. Spider-Man. Spider-boy.

And when Tony could not hold any longer he put the disappearing child on the ground. Tony could not stop the tears, watching Peter slowly part by part, change into ash. This was agonizing. 

"I'm...sorry." Peter said with one last breath, before his face disappeared. And nothing could've struck Tony more than the last words of his son. His son died thinking he was a failure, not knowing that his dad couldn't have been prouder. He wanted to go back to the past, hug his boy as tightly as he could, say everything he actually wanted in the last few moments. Tell the child how proud he was, how much he loved him, how he could never ever be a disappointment, that he was glad that Peter was his son.

And all of this was gone. And every word unsaid disappeared with the boy that deserved them the most.

His heart shattered.

Tony sat on the ground, holding Peter's ashes in his arms, holding them to himself, feeling the emptiness crawl into his heart, the feeling of a parent loosing his child. And Tony hurt. Suffering alone, never feeling more pain in his life than in this single moment. And he cursed the world with the mad Titan that was never supposed to touch his son.

Tony would do anything to bring his son back.

---------------------------------------------

It had been the longest five months in the history of mankind. The stones had been revived and together with Captain Marvel, the original six Avengers defeated Thanos, bringing back half of the universe back to life. 

For the last five months, upon returning from Titan with Nebula,Tony didn't have a full nights' sleep, the constant image of Peter dying in his arms, the visions from Titan haunting him each night. 

Every single night, at around 3:00 a.m. Tony would go to the kitchen, make a hot chocolate for Pepper and the team, all having made the early morning chocolate a routine. No words were said, nothing but the occasional tears and the comforting hugs, the memories of their lost friends and their one child coming back.

They just sat round the kitchen table in complete darkness, sipping on the warm drink, arms wrapped round each other. Hope had been the only savior. The world believed in the Avengers, and the burden of the safety of the universe rested on their shoulders once again.

After five months of fights, more deaths and a threat looming over them day and night, they won. They finally won. And Strange was right saying it was the only way.

Thanos had been defeated.

But the most awaited moment was the time when the soul stone had been destroyed, half of the universe coming back to life. Tony looked out for one specific person. His child. His Peter. Pepper gripped his hand tightly. 

And slowly, the world started to live again. Everywhere around the world, people appeared greeting their families. The Guardians, Sam, T'Challa, the Wakandan army, Shuri... Strange... everyone coming back to life....

And finally... the portal opened and out stepped Peter, face bruised, the suit tattered, blood and dirt covering his face. Tony threw himself at Peter, the boy solid, hugging him to feel the boy, to know that Peter was back in his arms, that he was not going to disappear again. He wouldn't allow that. He was going to fight the devil himself if it meant keeping his boy away from harms' way.

"Dad...I'm sorry." 

"No, Pete. I don't want to hear it." Tony whispered into his son's hair. Pepper joined them, tears of joy falling down her cheeks, hugging her two boys tightly.

They were finally safe.

(A/N:) That was very tough to write... especially at 1:00 in the morning... THAT scene playing on my screen for around 100 times... a box of tissues next to me... yeah... the feels that always come with this scene... spilling words on paper... I wanted to do a cliffhanger, but I knew you wouldn't cope, I definitely wouldn't. I really have no idea why I wrote about this scene... just... NO. I needed some happiness at the end that's why it didn't end abruptly. 

Anyway's, I hope you liked it... don't blame me if I brought the memories back. 

The next chapters will all be kinda happier I guess....