chapter 48: fawn's choice

~fawn~

       The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is reach for my phone to see what time it is. It's just after nine, so around the time I like waking up on days I have work to do. I turn my phone off of do not disturb. All the notifications that came through while I was sleeping appeared, and the first thing I notice is a text from my aunt Cecelia.

       I open the message and read it, only to sigh heavily. Marius must have already been awake but didn't want to get out of bed because he asks, "Is everything okay?"

       "I don't know," I admit. "It's nothing bad, but... My parents reached out to Aunt Cecelia because they don't have my new number. They want to invite me to Christmas."

       "And you're not sure you want to go?" Marius asks.

       I nod. "I wanted to be invited so I at least know they want me to join in on family celebrations again, but at the same time, some of them still hasn't made any effort to apologize to me or reach out to me. Even Travis tried, and he was the closest with Quentin. I feel like if I do go, it will just be very awkward."

       "You still got time to make your decision," Marius points out. "You can even decide the day before if you need the time."

       "Yeah, I guess," I say. "Would...?" I begin to ask a question, but decide against it, not wanting to take Marius away from his own family during the holidays. "Never mind."

       "No, it's okay, you can ask me anything," Marius says softly. 

       I hesitate, but then I remember that during our numerous couple's therapy sessions, our therapist points out that communication is always one of the strongest things you should have in any relationship. I should never be afraid to ask Marius anything, even if I'm worried he'll say no.

       In the end, I decide it will be best to ask him since it is something I would like, but I do tell myself that it will be okay if he says no. I need to give him the choice and understand that whatever he chooses would be best for him. "If I do go, would you be able to come with me? I know it's on Christmas, but-"

       Marius cuts me off by pressing his lips onto mine, reassuring me that it was okay to ask. When he pulls away, he says, "I would love to come with you."

       "Even if it's on Christmas?"

       "Yeah. I've already told you that my family isn't big on Christmas, so I would rather spend it with you. I don't know how your family spends it, but it will be a nice change to spend it like a family holiday. But, of course, it's only if you decide to go."

       I smile at Marius and give him another kiss to thank him. I still haven't made my decision, and I don't know if I will for a few days, but it's good to know that Marius will be there with me to make me more comfortable. 

       I should probably ask my parents if it would be okay if I bring Marius, but I feel like being petty and will just tell them that if I do go, Marius will come with me. Maybe even just show up with him.

        Marius has the day off of work and doesn't have any classes since it's winter break, but he doesn't feel like staying at the house alone so he told me he's probably going to spend the day in the cafe.

       I'm about to tell him that he should stay home and relax, but then I remember the conversation we had a few days ago. I shouldn't blame myself for what happened. I didn't push Quentin to try to kill Marius. I just tried to move on and live my life. So I don't have to dote on Marius to make sure he's okay. The only thing I have to do to help him is do the home treatment his doctors gave to him after he was released from the hospital.

       I get out of bed to begin breakfast. Marius gets up as well and follows me, attempting to distract me by constantly kissing my neck. As much as I love when he does this, I know if I cave in I'll end up forgetting about breakfast and burn the food.

       Marius eventually stops and decides to try to help me to cook. I'm glad he has come a long way from not knowing the basic things about cooking to willingly help me cook.

       When we finish cooking then eating breakfast, we both head out for the day. He goes to the cafe with his laptop to entertain himself for the day while I head down to the port to help the fishers out for the day.

       Working on the port is one of my favourite jobs, even during the winter. It can be a busy place to be in, but it's also so calming for me.

       The port is the only job I have for the day so once I finish it, I decide to head to the cafe to see if Marius is still there. Even if he isn't, it will be good for me to get a hot drink to warm up after working out in the cold.

       Marius is still in the cafe when I get there, so I walk over and kiss his cheek before telling him I'm going to get some coffee. I walk over to the counter, asking Aunt Cecelia for my favourite coffee. As she makes it, she says, "Have you decided if you'll go to your parents' for Christmas?"

       "Not yet," I say. "But I did decide that I will take Marius with me if I go."

       Aunt Cecelia nods. "That's a good idea. I know he helps with your comfort. If it does help, your uncle and I were invited too, as was Mary-Anne, but we all agree that we'll only go if you want to. If not, we can have Christmas together."

       "I hope you don't mind if I make a decision at the last minute," I say.

       "No, it's fine," Aunt Cecelia says. "I know I'll be able to get something planned last minute if it comes to it. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable."

       I smile at her. "Thanks."

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fawn might have to keep marius on a leash if they decide to go because he will probably try to fight anyone who makes fawn uncomfortable tbh.

TWO CHAPTERS LEFT! at this rate, the second book will come on thursday hehehe.