Hands on my thighs, crawling upward and pulling down my clothes. A filthy mouth on my neck, then my shoulders, leaving disgusting slobber marks down my back. The feeling of being violated, the pain that followed with each thrust. The shame when it was all over...

"Rin! Hey! Wake up!" I opened my eyes slowly, my entire body was shaking violently and my breathing was hitched. "Rin?" I turned my head and I barely saw Yukio in the dimly lit room, what time was it? "You had a nightmare, are you coherent?" I blinked a few times, trying to rid myself of the lingering phantom sensations. "Rin?" He was really worried, he didn't have his glasses on and he was squinting slightly, no doubt woken by me. I tried to speak but nothing came forth, yet I continued to shake and whimper.

He put an arm under my shoulders and helped me sit up, I did my best, but I just ended up turning my body so I could lean against the wall. The pressure of his body against mine. His disgusting, clammy skin and sweat clinging to me. I let out a long whimper, closing my eyes tightly. "Nii-san... you're okay, look around you, you aren't where you think you are." I blinked, I knew I wasn't with him, but the memories were haunting me. I grunted, trying to suppress everything, I felt Yukio rub my shoulders and I focused on the feeling.

I pulled the covers off of my body and pushed myself off the bed, ignoring the stinging pain in my abdomen and back. Yukio stood up and I leaned against him, holding my stomach. "Rin?!" I shook my head, swallowing hard.

"I think I need some air, I'm gonna take a walk outside." I turned to him, trying to calm his worried expression. "You should sleep, we've got another big day tomorrow, the last thing anyone needs is our teacher dead on his feet." He slowly nodded, but I could sense his hesitation. I gave a small smile and treaded out of the bedroom, holding my breath. I shut the door behind me and exhaled heavily, grasping my hips and bending inward on myself.

It was like someone had turned a blender on inside of me. It was a pain that was embedded deep inside, and it was unable to be helped by an type of pressure or rubbing. I wondered sourly if this was what girls went through on their periods. Ha! I did bleed, too, this whole thing was one fucked up mess. The pain dulled to a throb after a few moments and I sighed in relief. How was I going to survive the mission tomorrow?

I stood straight and tiptoed my way through the hallways to the bathroom. The click of the door closing behind me echoed in the small space, and I sighed. I raided the medicine cabinet and grabbed the Tylenol bottle. I popped a few pills into my hand and turned on the faucet, realizing I didn't have a cup to drink from. I sighed again and tossed the pills into my mouth, swallowing them dry. The bitter taste was disgusting, but I've experienced worse, I shuddered at the thought. The faucet was still on, so I cupped my hands underneath and brought the cold water to my face. Thankfully, it helped clear my mind and I sighed in relief.

I turned off the water and dried my face, deciding that wandering out in the cold would get me nowhere. I treaded back to my room as quick as I could without causing myself too much pain. The light from the hallway basked the room as I opened the door, Yukio's sleeping form shifting under the covers. I closed the door softly and stepped over to his bed, smiling at his peaceful expression.

I heard a small yawn and looked over at Kuro, "ugh... Rin? What are you doing up?" I shrugged, flipping some switch in my head and outwardly thinking.

"I couldn't sleep well, I'm okay now, go back to bed."

He stared at me and ignored my suggestion, standing up and padding over to me. He sat down next to my feet, staring at me with a pointed look. "Are you going to tell me what happened earlier?" I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck and glancing around the room. My eyes fell on a picture, the same one I had in my old room. I walked over and picked it up, sadness washing over me. Dad always took us the the circus when he came back from his meetings, and I couldn't decide if the memories were good or bad.

"Kuro... you've been with my dad for most of my life." I heard him purr with nostalgia. "When dad went to his exorcist meetings, did anything seem... 'off' before or after?" I turned and saw his thoughtful expression, his tails flicking back and forth.

"You've got to be more specific than that, Rin. Shiro went to those meeting for years."

"Exactly, and... how did I react?" I knew I was beating around the bush, but I didn't want to bluntly say it. Doing that would just make it more real, it'd be better if he could guess.

"You were never happy, I remember that." I hummed quietly, pushing him to talk further. "You cried sometimes, too, but I never understood why." He gave me a confused look, "why did you cry? And what does this have to do with current events?"

I shook my head, giving up, but he grew frustrated. "Rin! You can't wave something like this in front of my face and then take it away!" He was getting louder and I hushed him frantically, at this rate, he'd wake Yukio. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "sorry." When he opened his eyes again, he looked determined, "Why did you cry all those times?"

I walked over to my bed, laying down carefully. However, I couldn't help but let out a few groans, Kuro narrowed his eyes. "I was scared of him leaving, okay?" I yawned, feeling my eyes start to grow heavy.

I heard Kuro start to argue with me, "Scared? You knew he would come back, didn't you? I mean, you were a child, but that is just a ridiculous fear. What could you be scared of...?" I let my body sink into the mattress, my muscles relaxing. I closed my eyes, sleep just a few moments away. "Were you scared of something at the monestary? Did you get hurt? By who...? Oh my god... Rin! Did Father-" I didn't hear anything else as I drifted off.

"Dad, why does Father Naito have to babysit us?"

He shifted his glasses, turning from his papers. "He isn't 'babysitting,' without him, there wouldn't be a priest at home here. What if someone calls for guidance? What about the services?" He sounded slightly annoyed and I averted my gaze, embarrassed. "Honestly, Rin, we went through this last year, too. I'll be back in a week, and you're going to be thirteen in a few months, you can't possibly be scared of monsters still." He sighed, "what's your reasoning this time?"

My hands were shaking, but I hid them behind my back so he couldn't see. "I don't know, Dad, I just don't like Father Naito..." My confession was met with silence and I rubbed my foot on the floor anxiously.

"Why don't you like him?"

I swallowed hard, "I don't know, we just don't... 'click,' I guess."

I heard his footsteps approach me and he tilted my head up. Phantom memories traced themselves down the skin of my neck and I tried not to let my fear show. Dad made me look him in the eye and his brows furrowed. "You don't? The two of you seemed to get along when you were younger." He sighed, "Father Naito has been there for us ever since Joh started to refuse taking on being my substitute. Tch, something about not liking children, he's a priest..." he mumbled that last part to himself. He turned back to me, a look in his eyes that I didn't quite understand. "Father Naito has been here for six years, but this might be the last time he fills in for me."

I blinked, confused, "why? Did he do something he wasn't supposed to?"

His eyes narrowed, "why would you think that...?" He murmured, taking a step back from me and returned to his seat. "He's retiring early, he's had some health problems lately, so he hasn't been able to focus on his work. It's for the best, I suppose." He turned his eyes back to me, his tone turning suspicious, "so, whatever your reason, you won't be seeing him much longer."

I felt glee build in my chest, but suddenly, dread filled my entire being. I blinked rapidly, my surroundings melting away, the bright office dissolving into a dreary room. The tacky wallpaper held shadows, the yellow light of the bedside lamp dimly illuminating the horror scene.

A young boy was laying on his back, pinned to the sheets, his eyes closed tightly and his teeth gritted. Pleas and high pitched screams were muffled as a dark haired man covered his mouth. He spoke words that I could not hear, but the boy seemed distressed by them. Suddenly, the man unbuttoned his trousers and grabbed the raven haired boy's hand. Although he struggled, the kid was no match for the stronger male. His hand was forced into his assaulter's pants and the man let out a low moan.

My eyes widened, what was this, who were these people? I took a few steps away from them, my back hitting the wall. The horrid cries of the boy made my stomach turn and I covered my ears desperately. I watched as the man yanked the boy from his position on the bed, pulling both of their shirts off. I shook my head, something seemed off here, like I knew what was going to happen. The blue eyed boy was dragged to kneel on the floor, the man dropping his pants. I couldn't watch this! I turned my head away from them, my eyes widening when I didn't see a wall next to me.

Another boy sat next to me, hair as black as night and eyes of a clear sky, the same as the crying child. My eyes widened and I reached out, trying to save the boy before he fell victim next. However, he followed my movements, pausing in confusion just as I did. My eyes traced around the small figure, my hand clamping over my mouth when I realized that he wasn't a person, but my reflection.

I felt a scream try to escape my mouth, but almost like before, I was shifted into another dimension. However, the surroundings were the same. My shaking body glanced around the room, spotting the mirror in the corner that I had just been near. With watery eyes, I looked up at the figure in front of me, immediately chewing on my bottom lip to keep from crying.

"Don't bite your lip, that look is sinful." That voice... I knew him... he glared at me expectantly, "you know what to do kid." I glanced down, a sob escaping my chest. I shifted on my sore knees, the familiar feeling of being dirty washing over me. I heard him growl and I looked up just as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked. I cried out in agony.

I screamed, the sound echoing from my nightmare. I didn't even realize I had sat up in bed, but I didn't care. I gripped my hair, as if I was protecting it from anyone who may pull it. A sob escaped my mouth and I pulled my knees to my chest. I felt disgusting, both physically and mentally, and I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't bother quieting my cries, I was too hysterical to care. The phantom hands were everywhere and I tried to fend them off, scratching at my skin and pulling on my clothes.

"Rin!" The word was muffled and barely audible, but it caught my attention. I turned my bloodshot eyes in its direction and cried harder. Yukio was kneeling next to my bed, tears in his worried eyes, and his hands gripping my blankets so tight that his knuckles had turned white. "Rin?" The word was clearer this time, and it unlocked me from my chains. I let go of my knees, reaching out and throwing my arms around his neck. He immediately pulled me in tightly, my legs wrapping around his torso. "Oh, Nii-san.." he murmured as I buried my face in his neck. "You have me worried sick."

"Make it stop, Yukio, please..." my words sounded broken and I heard his breath hitch.

He hugged me fiercely, "I don't know how..." his voice was broken too, "tell me how to stop it and I will, I promise. You have to tell me, please." I sobbed into his neck, shaking my head. "Please, Nii-san! I'm begging you... I can't stand to watch you suffer anymore! Please.."

My chest ached and my throat was raw as I gasped for air, my sobs only growing stronger. "You can't know!"

Yukio pulled back, his eyes red and misty. "Why can't I know?" Even though my body was wracked with sorrow, I found the will to unwrap my arms from his neck and wipe the tears from his cheeks. He shook his head, grabbing both of my wrists in his hand. "Don't worry about me, tell me why I can't know."

I hiccuped and tried to calm my wavering breath, "That's all I do is worry about you. That's why you can't know, it'd hurt you."

"I don't care about that-"

"But I do."

We stared at each other for a few moments before he sighed, pulling me to him. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around his neck again, leaning my head on his shoulder. I sniffled and he rubbed my back in soothing circles. My tail lay lifeless on the floor, but I raised it up, encircling him and I. He sighed, leaning his cheek on my hair. I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted from all my crying. The world started to move as Yukio got to his feet, shifting me slightly so that he could carry me easier.

I heard a knock on the door and Yukio answered it, not caring if anyone saw me clinging to him. I didn't hear anyone speak so I peeked over my shoulder, spotting the boys. Bon had his mouth open, like he was about to speak, but nothing came out. Shima and Koneko were looking at each other, confused and embarrassed expressions on their faces. I pulled myself tighter to Yukio, sighing into his shirt. The familiar smell of his body wash having a calming effect on me.

"We heard someone yell... we kinda assumed it was one of you two." I heard Bon grumble, I knew that they thought it was me, they were just beating around the bush.

I felt Yukio take a deep breath, "nightmares are a bitch." I normally would've laughed at his bluntness, but I was too tired. The boys quickly agreed, their words awkward and stuttered. I let out a small chuckle, and Yukio held me closely. "Sorry to have woken you all, everything is alright. You should head back to bed." The scrambled to agree and I smiled into the fabric on his shoulder. The door closed and my teal eyed sibling carried me to his bed.

He sat down on the mattress, "what were you laughing at?"

I chuckled sleepily, "they were so flustered..."

We both shifted as our heads hit the pillow, my body curled up against him and my head on his chest. "Well, it's not everyday that you see an older sibling wrapped around the younger one." His voice vibrated through his chest and I hummed.

"You're just lucky that you're a lot taller than me, or else this would be awkward."

He chuckled and I smiled, closing my eyes. "It's not my fault that you have the same weight and height as a girl. I like you like this, though. For most of our lives, you were the one protecting me, but now, it's my turn to protect you." I hummed and felt the lull of sleep start to take over. Too bad, or else I would've argued his next words.

"Yet, it seems I'm not even capable of that."