"Cause I spaced myself from you
Cause I got tired of hurting you
But now I'm hurting too

So I pushed it all away
Cause I won't let you see me this way
But still I'd wish you stay"

Taehyung felt his heart clenching as he watched Jungkook walk out of his hospital room. He wanted to feel guilty about his actions and words, but he was incapable of such feelings.

Every ounce of emotion Taehyung had ever felt had been drained from his lifeless body. He felt like a corpse.

He knew he wanted to love Jungkook like he had a year ago, but that was impossible. Not after he was reminded of the years of abuse he received from the other, verbally and physically. Taehyung's memory had erased all of those moments when they started to talk more, but the second he was dragged away, they came flooding back. He couldn't see himself spending the rest of his life with Jungkook. The younger had changed so suddenly from his old, homophobic self. If he could realize his sexuality so quickly, what would stop him from realizing that he wasn't into boys after all?

Taehyung didn't want anymore abuse, of any kind. He couldn't handle it.

Taehyung's head pounded as he continued to lay by himself in the hospital bed. He started playing old memories with Jungkook through his head. He remembered the time Kookie bought him ice cream, and they walked hand and hand in the park. He recalled Jungkook claiming his chocolate chip waffles as his own. He pictured the moment that Taehyung gave Jungkook his virginity. It had all seemed so great and sweet at the time.

But then Taehyung remembered how Jungkook had made him wait in a cafè for two hours on their first date. He remembered Jungkook palming his crotch at school, throwing homophobic slurs in his direction.

The most painful memory of all, still fresh in his mind. The letter Taehyung wrote to Jungkook. He had almost been killed by his father when he caught Taehyung handing it to the mail man. The letter where Taehyung cried for help, wanting Jungkook more than anything in the world.

He had never received a response, and that was the most painful thing of all.

•••
Jungkook was walking rather quickly on the sidewalk. His hands made tight fists in his jacket pockets, and he could feel the tears of anger spilling down his cheeks.

He didn't know what he did wrong. He couldn't handle knowing that Taehyung is here and not wanting to see or be with him. After Jungkook had waited for months, calling every day in hopes of receiving an answer.

He didn't want to be in a relationship with anybody else. He didn't want to live without Taehyung. His heart ached at the thought.

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook stopped walking and turned around, feeling his blood boil even more than it already was. He pursed his lips, keeping quiet.

"I heard through the grapevine that our Taehyungie is back." The owner of the voice stepped closer, Jungkook's feet frozen to the ground. "Shouldn't you be visiting him?"

Jungkook glared at the man. He was trying to control his anger, but he was on the verge of exploding. "H-He doesn't want me there." Jungkook held back a sob.

"Oh? How sad." The voice's owner was now directly in front of Jungkook, spitting his words into the younger's face. "Maybe it's because he wants me instead."

Jungkook snapped. He slammed the voice against the wall, laying punch after punch into it's face and stomach. He was panting. He hadn't beaten anyone up in some time. He remembered the rush. The other had punched Jungkook square in the lips, and Jungkook could taste the metallic taste of blood. He landed a few more punches in revenge.

He smirked as he took a step back, admiring his handywork. He could already feel the bruises and cuts on his knuckles. The voice chuckled in response. "Wow. This is a nice flashback."

Jungkook gripped the other's collar, enunciating each syllable so his saliva would fall onto the older's face. "Sehun, if you get close to Taehyung one more fucking time, I will murder you. This is your last warning. He has been through enough."

"Yeah, and obviously you weren't enough for him despite all of that." Sehun smirked.

Jungkook felt lifeless. He released his grip on Sehun before headed back towards the hospital. His ears were ringing, shutting him off from the outside world. His heart was about to give out from beating so fast. He stormed back through the sliding glass doors, finding his way back to Taehyung's room.

He was about to open the door and froze. What am I doing? He doesn't want to see me. Jungkook could feel the tears coming down hard now. He hated himself for becoming such a crybaby. He decided to go ahead and enter the room, since he had already made the trip back over here. Slowly, he opened the door to the small room, closing it behind him. His eyes met Taehyung's. He noticed that Taehyung was also crying.

They stared at each other for a solid minute before Jungkook spoke up, his voice sounding small. "Taehyung, I'm sorry for coming back, I just... I- I," Jungkook suddenly started to sob uncontrollably, his lips unable to form words. He slid his back down the adjacent wall, putting his head on his knees that were curled up to his chest.

"Kookie?" Taehyung's voice broke through the ringing that was still going through Jungkook's ears.

At the nickname, Jungkook whipped his head up. "Yes?"

Taehyung cleared his throat before he continued speaking. "Why are your knuckles and lip cut up?"

Jungkook ran a hand through his tangled hair. He hadn't bothered to take care of it the last few months. "On my way home I ran into Sehun." Taehyung obviously shivered at the memories of Sehun attempting to rape Taehyung in the bathroom. "H-He just said some stuff about you and I couldn't take it. He managed to get a good punch in, though. I'm sorry. I was so good about containing my anger but these last few months have just been awful. I couldn't help but feel angry and bitter."

Taehyung sighed in his hospital bed. "Kookie, come over here." Jungkook slowly stood up from the cold tile, making his way over to the bed, a confused look on his face. When he was close enough, Taehyung motioned for him to sit down on the bed, and the younger followed. They stared at each other once again. Jungkook was admiring the face of the man he loved with all of his heart. The tanned skin, the freckle on the bottom of his nose. Taehyung, in return, was taking in Jungkook's features. He hadn't gotten to look at them so long. The way his nose turned upwards ever so slightly, the way his top lip was thinner than the bottom. Most importantly, the freckle he loved so much on his chin, and the scar on his left cheek. Taehyung reached a hand out, it shaking slightly, and put it on the cheek with the scar softly. He rubbed his thumb on his soft skin, relishing in the feeling of Jungkook's skin on his once more. That is when Taehyung realized just how much love he felt for the boy, and it terrified him.

His hand slipped from the cheek to the boy's nape, pulling him closer, slamming their lips together. At first, Jungkook was in shock, not moving his lips at first. Taehyung slowly moved his lips against the younger, who eventually moved his in return, wrapping his arms around Taehyung's neck.

They kissed deeply for a few seconds before Taehyung pulled back, chuckling. God, Jungkook had missed his chuckle so much. "Wow, Kookie. Who knew you would become such a bottom in this relationship?"

That made Jungkook laugh as he wiped away his tears. He smiled at the older man in front of him, and their eyes were both filled with so much love for the other. "So we're still in a relationship?" Jungkook fiddled with his fingers.

Taehyung thought for a second before reaching out his hands, grabbing Jungkook's smaller ones in his hands. "I will need time before we can actually call it a relationship again. I-I need to remember who I am. I need to be reminded of who you are, and how much you care about me. He did a lot of damage to me, mentally. I just need time. To remember and forget."

Jungkook nodded. "I will show you how much you mean to me, every second of every day."

•••••

A/N: I was going to make Taehyung not remember who Jungkook was but I decided that that was a tad too clichè.

I apologize for the somewhat angst and such. The beginning of this book will be a little angsty, so be prepared.

Jungkook is so possessive over Taehyung, I love it.

{edited}