Requested by: riaaken

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS ABOUT SEXUAL CONTENT.

Whoo this is another chapter that makes me uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, it's not because it's based around sexual content- maybe just a little bit- but also because this is a thin line we walk and people are usually on one side of the spectrum or the other. So, let's just get into it.

The biggest thing I want to stress on here is Boundaries and Consent

BDSM stand for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. From that you can gather a general idea what the main concept it. Though I'd like to stress that 100% consensual BDSM between two partners who wish to do it is not a bad thing. BDSM gets a bad rap, but it's not bad when done properly.

Let's begin with consent. If, in the story, it is not shown that the BDSM like activities are 100% consenual between both/all parties then it's abuse, not BDSM. I don't care if the women or man or person was willing at the start and less willing in the middle. If at any point, one of the parties does not wish to continue/do something, and the other party(s) continue to do it, it's not consensual, and therefore, assault.

In many, many stories, there are scenes with BDSM usage where people do not give their full consent to what is done to them. This is not okay, at all. It's assault/abuse and should be treated as such. It's not intimate. End of story.

Boundaries are important in any form of intamacy, but it's even more important in BDSM. BDSM participators often use the phrase "Safe, Sane, and Consensual". Extensive conversations, checklists, and safe words. If not safe words then a motion, movement, noise, scales, so on. 

The parties should discuss what they wish to do, their boundaries, and what each of them can do to make the other(s) feel safe and comfortable in the environment.  

Also understand, that people can't consent to torture. They can't consent to serious bodily harm. Even if the parties are consensual to said moments, it's illegal, and it's not just an issue between you anymore, it's between everyone.

With this chapter, many people will think of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm not going to discuss that, because some say it's accurate to the BDSM community and some say it isn't. I haven't read the books or watched the movies so I don't want to weigh in on something I don't understand.

I already did a chapter on abuse, so compare while writing BDSM. If what you're writing fits into the abuse chapter more than the proper BDSM guidelines I wrote here, you're doing something wrong.

Requests are open, so is question asking!

~Lydia