Alas, inspiration hit me while I was driving. We'll see how it goes.😂

Love you all.💜
(But especially my soulmate XXXWAFFLESXX  😘)

Thanks for sticking with me through my tough times. I really do appreciate it and it means the WORLD.

••••••

I could hear their laughter from my bedroom, making me feel nauseous. Sick to my stomach. It gave me a headache.

It had been a week since Jungkook and I had kissed, confessed, and became boyfriends. Although nothing has happened since.

I can't help but wonder if it was a heat of the moment ordeal and that's why Jungkook has hardly spoken to me all week.

Maybe he's sick of me.

I could feel myself spiraling downwards again because of the disappoint, the loneliness, and the sheer feeling of being unloved and unwanted.

Now I was laying on my bed trying to sleep as I have to listen to Jungkook and Jimin laughing loudly together in the next room.

Him and Jimin had been closer than normal this week, and it made the tough feelings I felt grow bigger.

He lied about him liking me. He just wanted to take advantage of my weak mental and emotional state.

I stood up on shaky legs, feeling myself on the verge of tears.

I have been doing well.

I'm clean.

And here I am struggling, needing someone the most, but nobody is able to detect my pain.

My willpower dissipates as I weakly make my way to the bathroom, locking the door and lifting up the lid of the toilet.

The nausea had become almost unbearable. I hadn't been able to eat a full meal in two days.

Does he like Jimin more because he's skinnier than me? Is he prettier than me?

My legs collapsed under me and my knees collided with the tile floor in front of the toilet. My hands gripped the sides of the bowl so tight my knuckles turned white as snow.

I took deep breaths, trying to force everything down. I couldn't ruin it. I had been doing so well.

I heard another laugh through the wall and my eyes clenched shut.

He has never laughed that much with me.

My grip tightened as the few contents in my stomach were emptied out into the toilet bowl.

••••

Hoseok POV

"D-Do you hear something?" I asked Yoongi, whose smile faltered as he listened closely.

His eyebrows quirked up when he heard the same sound as me.

"What is that?"

He shrugged, about to climb off his bed until I put a hand out to stop him.

"I should head to bed anyway. I'll check on what it is on my way to my room. Good night!"

He whispered "Good night" to me as well as I left his room, closing the door behind me.

I walked down the hall slowly until I was in front of Namjoon's room. The light was off and not a sound was heard, so I shrugged and continued walking.

In front of Taehyung's door, I noticed the light in his room was on, meaning he was still awake.

I knocked on the door, not getting a response. I slowly opened the door and heard the sound getting louder.

I walked into the room, seeing the bathroom door closed with a light underneath. As I neared the door, the sound became clear as the sound of him throwing up.

I felt my heart shatter. He had been doing so well.

"Tae?" My voice was barely working.

I heard him take a shaky breath from the otherside of the door. I tried to jiggle the door open, but with no luck.

"Tae, please open the door." I was trying not to sound disappointed, but sadness was laced in my voice.

He coughed loudly, a sort of sob also erupting from his vocal cords.

"I-I'm f-f-fine." (I know y'all are gonna do it...)

"No, you're not. I want to help you. Please let me in."

The door clicked open and I immediately walked in, seeing Taehyung in a ball on the floor, tear stains on his tanned cheeks.

I knelt down and my arms instantly engulfed his shaking frame.

"Shh, Tae, it's okay. You're okay, I'm here."

••••••
I decided to display a little bit of a different side of having a mental health disorder and how even the smallest little thing can be misinterpreted in our minds and can have long-lasting or permanent affects.

On another note, I turn 21 (legal drinking age in America) on Saturday and a bitch CAN'T WAIT.