Some people tell me that my anger is like a bomb. Waiting to explode. I never thought it was that bad...
Flashback; 10 years ago...

"Alright guys! What do you think we should play?" Blue asked us. "Uh... Tag?" Red asked. "Hm... I think we should play hide and seek!" I shouted. "Uh... Hm... I'm not good at hiding though... Oh well! I'll give it a try!" Yellow said.

Me and red were 10, Yellow and Blue were 9... I've always been somewhat cocky and brave... But I had a bad habit of being an asshole...

"I'll count!" Yellow said. "1..." She started to count to 20. "...2..." She said. "Green!" I turned and saw Blue. "What?" I asked. "Can you help me find a hiding spot, please?" She asked me. "What?! No! Go find one yourself!" I whisper yelled. "... 9... 10... 11... 12..." Yellow continued to count. "Sigh, do you always have to be so mean?!" She whisper yelled at me back. "I'm not being mean! You can find one yourself! You don't need me to help you!" I said back. "... 17... 18... 19..." Yellow was almost to 20. "I HATE YOU!!!!!" We both yelled at each other. "20! Here I come- oh! Found you!... Uh... Are you guys ok?" She pointed at us. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO CLINGY ALL THE TIME?!" I yelled. "BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND! AND FRIENDS SHOULD STICK TOGETHER!!!" She yelled at me. "IM NOT YOUR FRIEND!" I yelled. Everyone was silent. Blue was starting to cry, but she was trying to hide it the best she could. "Uh... Guys?" Red came out of hiding. "..." Yellow ran over to red. "Is Blue okay?" She asked red.

We hated each other at times... And sometimes we laughed together...
And sometimes we were inseparable...

An hour later...

*knock knock!* "Oh! Hello green! Blue is upstairs in her room." Blue's mom told me. "Thanks." I said as I walked in. I knocked on her door. "Who is it?" She asked. "It's me." I said. "...go away..." She said. I opened the door, to see blue on her bed, under her comforter. "I said go away!" She said, tossing a stuffed animal at me. It hit me in the shoulder. "No." I said. "Yes!" She said. I sat on her bed. "Yes!" She said trying to push me off of her bed. "I'm sorry." I said. "No you aren't..." She said. She poked her head out from under the blanket. "Yes I am." I said. "Nuh-uh!" She got out from under the blanket and kept trying to push me off her bed. "You're my best friend. No matter what I say, I will always be your friend." I said. She hugged me from behind. "Do you mean it?" She asked. "Yes."

I loved her more than anything else in this world...
But one day, in late April...
I had hurt her feelings so badly, that she hasn't talked to me in 4 years...

6 years later...
"Jeez! Would this rain go away already?" I said. It was pouring rain, and I was not in a good mood. "Ah! Green!" Blue ran up to me and hugged me. "Mind if I stay under your umbrella for a bit?" She asked me. "It's not big enough." I said, walking away. "Hey!" She grabbed my arm. "Wait up-", "CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" I yelled. "..." She stayed silent. "WHENEVER YOU SEE ME, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE ALL OVER ME! I HATE IT!" I continued yelling. "... I'm-", "SHUT UP!" I shouted. "YOURE ANNOYING! YOURE CLINGY! YOU ARE EVERYTHING I DESPISE!!!" I yelled. "...why...?" She said, tears pouring from her eyes. "what... Did I ever... Do to make you... Think that...?" She was crying so hard that she couldn't talk that easily. She fell to her knees. "I'm... So sorry..." She said. I ignored her and walked away.

I hadn't realized what I'd done...
I was just in a really bad mood that day...
I didn't want to make her cry...
I didn't want her to fall to her knees and apologize...

"GREEN?!" I heard someone's voice. It was Red, and he was furious. "WHAT DID YOU DO?! HOW COULD YOU BE THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE TO BLUE, THAT SHE CANT EVEN SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT?!" He yelled at me, I ignored him. "DONT IGNORE ME! HOW COULD YOU!? SHE IS LITERALLY ON HER HANDS AND KNEES CRYING HER EYES OUT!!!" He grabbed my shoulder. "DONT TOUCH ME!" I yelled. "Sigh... I'm so upset with you... That I wish you'd be gone." He said. "She is scared of you. She was starting to avoid you.... She loves you, Green. And you just smashed her heart with a hammer." He said. "..." I was silent. "You don't deserve her." He said.

Those words stuck to me, for 4 whole years...
Every time I thought of those words, I winced...
They stung like someone mashing salt into a fresh wound...
But, I had been the salt, and she had been the wound...