When Haechan mentioned Mark during his speech, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Turning my back to the members, I sank to my knees and cried. 

     Jeno and Jaemin hyung came over to try and comfort me but, I was inconsolable. The reality hit me like a lorry. I would lose them all eventually. They would all graduate and move on to different units. Mark was already gone, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan and then Jaemin would soon follow. Then finally Chenle. One by one they would leave and he would be the only one left of the seven of them.  

     New team members. Would we get along? I would have to lead them, teach them, do to them what hyungs do to me. But would I be able to do that? No. Because I didn't train with them like how I did with the others. 

   I continued to cry, sobbing even harder when Haechan hyung came over as well. Eventually I stood up again, wiping my eyes with a tissue that somebody handed me. I could see it in the other members' eyes. They were broken too. 

    I would lose my best friends, my family. And I was broken and helpless, unable to change our fate. 

💛

If spelling mistakes happen throughout the book, you'll all know that I was crying while typing. And I'm still asking myself how and why did I think up this story.

Clara 😭