Do you guys remember that 'wing it' thing? I found out I was horrible at that.

All I did the moment I walked out of my room was stare at my older brother who was in the process of walking out of his room, as well.

The same room that was right in front of mine.

And I am not ashamed to admit that it was awkward for me. I don't know about Itachi, though.

Why exactly am I suddenly being awkward?

It was because I started distancing myself from him. It was a contradiction of my plan to become close to him at, at least, on par with Sasuke's. But I couldn't help myself.

Betrayal.

It was something I hated the most.

After what happened to me at my last life, I never want to have someone do that to me again. So much that I don't respond to people efforts to 'befriend' me.

I would only give them small fake smiles and reply in way that would end the conversation. After awhile, I started loathing other's company. Soon after that, I gained depression.

All because of that one event.

And I hate that I trusted Itachi just like how I trusted her.

I trusted him not to tell anyone. That he should just keep it quiet until he's at an age where gaining a Sharingan is the most common. Preferably 12 and above not when he's only 8 years old.

But apparently, I'm unimportant to him. He dismissed every word I said to him when I'm only honestly concerned for him.

So I started distancing myself again. This time, from a very different person.

I had thought,

It's alright to do this.

It's only temporary.

I still have lots of time.

Yes, I still have time. Years, in fact.

And it has always been a bad habit of mine to prolong things and not take action until it is way too late. And I'm worried that it's the same thing that I would do here.

When my survival is on the line.

When there's a chance I would die.

I admit that I wasn't thinking when I started doing this to him. But being reminded about my past blanked my mind and I instantly placed a defense mechanism. Push Itachi away, ignoring him if I could, and cling to the last person who is precious to me.

For this case, it's Sasuke.

I stopped thinking rationally and conjuring up reasons about why he would do that.

All I could think of was that he betrayed me.

I bit my lip as I started considering running away at this moment. But I couldn't. His gaze felt like it's pinning me in place and I didn't like it one bit.

I never had anyone give me such a stare.

I'd hate to let down my guard around him and accept him once again. It's childish but I really don't want to.

I ducked down my head, refusing to meet his gaze, and closed my eyes shut. I was trembling at this very moment.

I hastily backtracked and tried to slide the door close and it was stopped by a hand.

"Rei-" His voice held an emotion that I didn't understand. It was wavering a bit but I didn't let him continue.

I tried sliding the door close with all my might, keeping my head down and eyes screwed shut.

"I... I haven't meant to get out of my room." So far, it was not working. My strength is nothing compared to his. "S-Sorry, but I need to get back and rest, N-Nii-sama."

I refused to call him Itachi-nii after what he did. He never did liked me calling him Nii-sama. Doing this was like a revenge of sorts and I'm pleased that I even have enough guts to go against him.

With one push, the sliding door was now wide open. With my measly 2 year old strength, I was no much to my brother. Added to that, was the fact that I was taken by surprise. That force happened right after I said 'Nii-sama'.

Even someone like me, that doesn't know how to read people, know that he was disturbed about what I said.

In a fit of panic, I attempted to run past him to anywhere, anywhere, but here. I hate having confrontations with anybody. Whether that anybody was family or not. I hate it.

I was caught before I could step outside of my room.

Small arms were tightly wrapped around me, keeping me in place, and I tensed immediately. I know who this is. I couldn't have been wrong. The long black hair was proof enough.

Itachi.

I struggled in his hold. What am I suppose to do? What are you suppose to do when someone you have been pushing away suddenly hugged you? Are you going to accept it? Push the person away? Slap him? Hug him back? Yell at him?

"L-Let go..." My voice was barely above a whisper. My eyes were starting to well up. No. Stop. Let go! I don't like this!

"Why...? Don't you like your onii-sama?"

The hug wasn't a loving one anymore.

It was more of a restraint.

I was even scared of him than before. Having a hard time regaining my breathing reflexes-ohGodIcan'tbreath-, I blacked out.

---

I snapped my eyes open. My body jolted unconsciously, fully waking me up in the process.

I took sharp intakes of breaths as if I was deprived of oxygen mere moments ago with cold sweat dotting around forehead. After awhile, I looked around my room with hazy eyes.

It was... a dream...?

Now that I'm awake, the more I think about the previous events, the more I got convinced that it was all a dream.

I mean, I can't even remember most of what happened after I got my erratic breathing back in place. It was the only way to know that it was a dream.

Yet despite the fact that I knew that, what I could remember felt way too real. I never had that kind of dream before.

It was overwhelming.

It was painful. But most of all...

It was scary.

I sat up silently. Pulling my legs close to me and hugging the sole pillow I have, I let the tears flow. I tried silencing myself but a few hiccups and sobs still left me.

"I c-can't take any of this. Why m-me...?"

I knew they can hear me. I knew they could come at any moment. I knew he was right outside of my room.

But I couldn't bring myself to care right now. I continued to cry. I wrapped my comforter around myself as if it would block away all my fears.

It wasn't really all that reassuring when I knew that my 'biggest fear' will have no problem slicing through a mere cloth.