dotae ; paubaya (give up)

❝ if we were strong enough, will our story have a happy ending? ❞

<----->

Taeyong has been getting unlucky with love lately. He's been using the dumb dating app some of his friends recommended to him and, he does get dates and meet-ups from people he liked there. Mostly, they were men. He was found very attractive by many but he was the one being left out.

His first date was Johnny, a Korean but grew up in America. They had a good chemistry. The guy was very talkative and fun to be with. Taeyong appreciated his company, to be honest. He liked the man, but unfortunately, both of them weren't feeling it. Taeyong thought he was better to be a guy friend rather being his boyfriend, or a longtime partner.

His second date was Yuta, a Japanese who moved to Korea recently. Though he wasn't fluent in Korean yet, Taeyong thought he was a very sweet person. The Japanese learned Korean from Taeyong and they did enjoy being together. Taeyong thought he could be a potential lover but Yuta saw him as a friend. It was pain but, it is what it is.

His third date was the most memorable one. Jaehyun was a man who he really thought would be his longtime partner, and Jaehyun thought the same. They spent several dates together for months and they actually enjoyed every one of them. Taeyong really did fall in love, but things went downhill when Jaehyun left him. The man was gone and Taeyong doesn't know where he is right now.

Jaehyun was his worst heartbreak.

Because of that, Taeyong never used the app again. Right now, he's been constantly working and focusing on self-care. He cried his ass off for days so this time, he'll take a rest from dating. It has been two years since his last heartbreak. He's been doing well and happier, in a sense. He was proud of himself.

"Good work today, Taeyong-hyung," Mark, his co-worker, said as he grabbed his stuff on his chair.

Taeyong nodded and smiled at him, "Thank you. You did too. How is Donghyuck, by the way?"

"Well, he's been busy with his thesis lately."

Both of them walked out of their cubicles and into the elevator.

"How about you? Been busy with anyone lately, hyung?" the younger asked.

The older hummed before shaking his head, "I'm too lazy."

"Well, like what everyone says, someone will come by."

"We'll see. I might not be able to show interest though," Taeyong said.

"You might eat your words, hyung," Mark chuckled as they got off the elevator and walked out of the building.

"Mark, I swear--"

"Bye, hyung! Good night! See you tomorrow! Call me when you reached home!"

Taeyong just sighed as he watched Mark go. He walked towards the bus stop and waited for one. It took a few minutes before a bus stopped infront of him. He walked in and took a vacant seat beside the window. He got comfortable and watched the buildings pass by. This was his usual routine ever since Jaehyun stopped picking him up at the office.

He missed those days. They even started to stay in each other's lonely apartments. He used to be hopeful that things would go back, but he just grew tired of it.

He didn't mind the guy seated beside him and sat upright before he tried sleeping. The traffic was becoming heavy and his place wasn't even near. He should just atleast take some rest.

Not knowing, his head landed on the shoulder of the guy beside him.

Taeyong woke up a few minutes before the bus stops on the street he should get off. He looked outside to make sure of it before he stood and excused himself. He gets off the bus and walked on the sidewalk, towards his apartment. The boy suddenly remembered calling Mark.

That gesture made them as their habit. Mark acted like a little brother to Taeyong and he wanted to take care of the older just like how the older takes care of him. They were schoolmates back in highschool anyway, so it was natural of them to care for each other.

Taeyong reached his phone in his pocket, but it seemed like it's gone.

He checked his bag and his other pockets but his phone was nowhere to be find. Taeyong became anxious and annoyed.

"Shit, I left it in the bus?!"

The boy panicked and hoped that he isn't being stupid. Taeyong tried hard finding it, close to crying, but nothing. He gave up and thought that maybe he did accidentally leave it in the bus. He cursed in his mind was ready to catch up the bus since there is a bus stop nearby, but he was surprised to see a guy walking up and stopped infront of him. Taeyong became defensive.

"I-I know how to defend myself a-and I'm not afraid of you," Taeyong stuttered.

The guy looked confused but he grabbed something inside his pocket then Taeyong felt afraid.

"You can get anything you want from me! Just don't hurt me--"

"Here."

Taeyong stopped and looked what the guy has in his hand. His eyes widened when it was phone that he was handing back. The boy reached for it and checked if it is his, thankfully, it is. He looked back at the guy who returned it.

"You slept and maybe didn't know that it slipped out of your pocket. Be careful next time."

So, it is the guy who sat beside me.

"T-Thank you..." the boy uttered.

The guy nodded, "You're welcome. See you around--"

"Hey, I was thinking if I could treat you coffee some time? If it's fine...just to repay you," Taeyong said.

The boy infront handed out his hand to Taeyong, "Doyoung. Kim Doyoung."

Then Taeyong hesitated before he shook his hands with the guy named Doyoung.

"Taeyong. Lee Taeyong."

Taeyong just got out of the elevator. He just arrived work a few minutes ago and he's feeling happy in a Monday morning. He walked his way to his cubicle. The boy sat down on his chair and started preparing the things he'll be doing this day. Suddenly, a bought coffee was placed on his table.

"Why do I have to be the runner boy?" Mark asked and sat in his cubicle, beside Taeyong's.

The older chuckled and saw a familiar handwritten 'Good Morning!' on the paper with a bunny drawing beside it. It made him smile just seeing it.

"It's his kind of sweet gesture," Taeyong uttered, "And also, you're the closest to me."

The younger frowned, "Why don't I get something from Donghyuck?"

"Because you don't give him anything either," Taeyong uttered and took a sip on his hot coffee.

Cutting their conversation off, Taeyong's phone rang. The older smiled at his co-worker who rolled his eyes at jealousy. Taeyong accepted the call and placed it against his ear while he has the coffee in his other hand.

"Hey, Dongyoung."

"You just have to call me with that name?"

"Why? It's cute."

"Have you received the coffee?"

"Yep, thank you. It was nice...Am I going to meet you at lunch later?"

"Yeah. I'll be there."

"Are you at work already?"

Doyoung hummed, "Yeah, just arrived."

"Okay, I'll see you later then?"

"Yes, bubu. I'll see you later."

Taeyong ended the call and looked at Mark who was still bitter. He smirked and went to hug the younger's arm to tease him which Mark wasn't into. He was sulking and would rather sulk alone, but Taeyong was stubborn.

After they met that night, they were accidentally seeing each other. They met at a cafe, because apparently Doyoung was working nearby, they also met several times in the bus and even in a company meeting. It felt like they were meant to meet so Doyoung did the first move. They started dating a year ago and things were going smoothly.

Taeyong didn't know he'a still able to date someone but he felt that Doyoung could be his longtime partner that he's been wishing for.

Hopefully.

Taeyong went on a lunch break so he walked towards the nearby fast-food restaurant where he would meet Doyoung. He goes inside and looked around before he saw the boy he's been looking for. He went closer to the guy and surprised him from behind but putting his hands on the guy's shoulder.

"I'm here, Doyoungie!"

Doyoung frowned, "You like teasing me, huh?"

Taeyong chuckled and sat on the chair beside Doyoung, "Yes, because it's very entertaining when I tease you."

"You're disgusting."

"No, you wouldn't think of me like that."

"Unfortunately."

Then their food came and placed down on their table. Doyoung knows what Taeyong likes so he ordered ahead while he waits for the boy to arrive. He knew would be a picky eater so he made a mental note about Taeyong's liking when it comes to foods. It comes in handy most of the times when they go on for a date.

"Hey, Taeyong?"

The called boy hummed since he isn't able to say anything with a full mouth.

"Have you had a boyfriend?"

Taeyong almost choked at the question but he just gave himself time to chew and swallow the food he has in his mouth. He drank water before he sheepishly smiled and shrugged.

"We've been dating for a year and you just decided to ask me that just now?"

Doyoung looked away, "Well, I didn't know if you were fine telling me about them. So it's been a year, I guess it's fine talk about it?"

"Tell me a reason, Doyoung, before I answer your question," Taeyong teased.

"Bubu..." the boy whined which made the other to laugh.

Taeyong sighed and kept a smile on his face, "Well, I haven't. All of the people I dated either became my friends or my worst heartbreak."

Doyoung rolled his eyes, "Worst heartbreak?"

"Yeah...There's this one guy that I really thought would be the man I'll be spending my time with, up until now," the boy uttered.

"But...?"

"He left me. He didn't say anything, he just disappeared. Kinda like left me hanging...It hurts, still hurts but I'm not really regretting that much. You're somehow the person I wished I met earlier."

Doyoung stared back at the boy. Taeyong doesn't look like he's hurt. Well, the boy was good at hiding things. Though, Doyoung was the only person who could read him.

"The food is getting cold. I don't want to waste it," the boy uttered before he took another bite.

Taeyong continued eating but he stopped when Doyoung placed down a black velvet box beside his hand. The boy looked at it for a long time before he looked back at the guy beside him. He wasn't really able to think what was inside the box but he was still confused why Doyoung pulled out something so randomly.

"Youngie, what is that?" Taeyong asked.

Doyoung leaned against the backrest after he took his last bite of his lunch, "Open it."

The boy was taken aback but he slowly grabbed the box and looked at his suitor, asking if he really could. Doyoung just nodded at him and watched Taeyong open it. Taeyong's eyes widened as he found a ring.

"What is this? Is it for someone?" the boy asked, recognizing the expensive ring in the box. He's been actually seeing it all over the internet. He doesn't know why Doyoung bought it, or did he buy it?

Doyoung leaned on the table with a small smile on his face, "I'm not good at courting in the place so I don't know how to ask...but if you wear that ring, it means we're boyfriends. If not, it means I need to work harder."

Taeyong looked back at him with a concerned look, "Doyoung...you didn't have to buy something so expensive. You could have loaned the money for something else."

"So, you don't want it?"

The boy looked back at the ring. Doyoung would've thought Taeyong would give it back to him but Taeyong holds and wears it around his index finger. Taeyong smiled lovingly at Doyoung and displayed his hand, with the ring, at his boyfriend.

"Does it look pretty?" Taeyong asked.

Doyoung chuckled and nodded, "Yeah...I knew gold would look nice on you."

The boy nodded and stared his boyfriend, "Thank you."

"No need...I'm glad to be your first."

"Me too."

The bright day woke up Taeyong. He forgot to close the curtains which made him annoyed. He groaned and took a minute before he stretched his arms out and slowly sat up on his bed. He rubbed his eyes and combed his hair, barely being able to fix it. The boy yawned and looked at the time. Then a smile crept up on his face after he remembered what day it is.

He excitedly got off the bed and went out of his room then ran towards the bedroom beside his. Taeyong didn't mind knocking and just went in. He sneakily walked before he plopped his whole body on his sleeping boyfriend, who is already awake.

Doyoung groaned, "Taeyong--"

"Before you nag at me, happy 3rd anniversary, Youngie..."

The older hugs the younger and sweetly smiled. Doyoung sighed and smiled back at his boyfriend. He combed Taeyong's hair back and went to place a kiss on the forehead.

"Happy anniversary, bubu."

"What would you like for breakfast? I can cook today. The office cancelled the day today since they're busy with something," Taeyong asked as he pushed himself up with his arms.

Doyoung hummed then shook his head, "Nothing in particular. You can cook whatever you want."

"Do you have any work today?"

"Yeah. At seven."

"Alright, I'll go and cook. Meet you downstairs," the boy said before he got off the bed and walked out of the bedroom, with Doyoung watching him.

The bunny-looking boy didn't follow and thought about having a nap as he waits for the breakfast to cook. Taeyong did wake him up early. Well, he would've thought a softer greeting from him, but it was the usual.

Taeyong was always the one who puts on a vinyl record and places it on the player then lets the music fill the room. He took it as a habit from Jaehyun and thought Doyoung would like it since he, too, likes vinyl records. He hummed the rhythm of the music, swaying softly with it as he cooks.

Then an arm was wrapped around his waist and someone who placed a kiss on the side of his head. Taeyong looked beside him and saw his boyfriend.

"This is almost done," the boy uttered.

Doyoung hummed, "I'm not in a hurry, bubu. I actually want to leave work for this day."

"I know work is important so it's fine if you go. We'll celebrate later when you come home, okay?" Taeyong said.

The other boy nodded before he removed his arm from his boyfriend's waist then leaned his lower back against the counter behind him. Taeyong finished up and plated the food on the table. He went back to clean up.

"You can sit down, Youngie. I'll just put these away," the boy uttered.

But Doyoung didn't move. Taeyong looked confused which made his boyfriend chuckle at him before he leaned closer and peck Taeyong on the lips. It made the boy blush from it but Taeyong leaned in for another kiss, but a longer one. Taeyong's hand cupped Doyoung's jaw and smiled against the loving kiss.

"I love you," Doyoung whispered when they pulled away.

Taeyong softly chuckle, "I love you, Youngie."

Doyoung has been confused since this morning. Taeyong didn't greeted them a 'Happy Birthday' today. It felt weird not receiving a loud greeting from him but he didn't really remind or ask Taeyong about it. Maybe he's just busy from work that's why he forgot about his birthday. But he couldn't help but feel upset about it. Taeyong isn't the one who forgets something that's important.

"Hyung, you're spacing out. It's weird."

"Donghyuck, I swear, you're killing me," Doyoung uttered.

The younger shrugged, "That's what I'm aiming for every day, Doyoung hyung. Wait, isn't it your birthday?"

"You remembered? Good for you."

"Why? Hasn't Taeyong hyung greeted you?"

Doyoung just frowned and crossed his arms then Donghyuck laughed hard at him.

"Oh, god. That's why you've been having a bad temper since this morning," the younger said.

"Like seriously? He isn't the type of person who will forget about something important," the older uttered.

"Hyung, is your birthday even that important?"

"Hyuck, shut up."

Donghyuck giggled, "But kidding aside, you should maybe ask him. You can't get upset because of it. Maybe he has a surprise for you later?"

Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows, "Surprise? He doesn't do surprises."

"We'll see. Maybe it'll be a surprise birthday party, or a nice dinner, or a night out, or...a birthday sex."

Upon hearing the last one, Doyoung's eyes widened and became flustered about it that he had to punch Donghyuck on his arm, but not too hard.

"Shut up. You're ruining my day."

"And if I'm right, you'll treat me a meal."

The boy was bothered since this morning so he kept slapping himself to snap some sense out of him. Taeyong was just busy and forgot about it. His boyfriend isn't perfect, that's why it's fine. He doesn't mind it at all. His friends did greet him at work so it's fine. He's just bugged out.

Just as he opened the door to their shared apartment, a party popper suddenly goes off which made Doyoung to jolted badly and saw Taeyong holding it with a party hat on top of his head.

"Happy birthday, Youngie!"

Doyoung sighed with a smile on his face, "I thought you forgot about it."

"Nah, I wouldn't."

Taeyong leaned in and gave his boyfriend a kiss with his hand on the boy's nape. Doyoung kissed back then the other pulled away first and gave him a sweet smile.

"My gift is at upstairs."

Then Doyoung suddenly remembered what Donghyuck to him about the surprise. He became flustered which made Taeyong to furrow his eyebrows at him with a pout.

"What?" Taeyong asked.

Doyoung awkwardly chuckled and pulled himself away from his boyfriend, "Ah, nothing..."

"Hm, dinner is ready. I'll show you the gift later, 'kay?" the boy uttered before he walked into the kitchen.

Doyoung composed himself and cursed Donghyuck for it.

Doyoung wasn't ready. His mind is all over the place when Taeyong asked to follow him upstairs. Obviously, they're going in Doyoung's bedroom. The boy was literally all over the place. He feels so nervous, his hands are sweaty and his heart is palpitating. He doesn't even know what to do.

"Youngie?"

The bunny-looking boy flinched when his nickname was called.

"You're a little jumpy," Taeyong chuckled, "Are you alright--"

Before the boy could put his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders, Doyoung moved away and chuckled awkwardly.

"Y-Yeah, kind of..."

Taeyong hummed before he grabbed something from the table beside. It was a big box which made Doyoung curious what was inside. His boyfriend gave it to him and he hesitantly received. He looked at it before he placed it down on the floor and started opening it.

He looked inside of it and was surprised to see a bunny stuff toy. He always liked stuff toys, maybe that's why Taeyong decided to give something like this. Doyoung grabbed it and smiled. He looked up and was about to thank Taeyong for it but he was surprised and his butt fell on the ground.

"T-Taeyong, what are you doing?"

The boy was about to take off his hoodie since it was too hot but stopped when his boyfriend hysterically asked him what he was doing.

"I-Isn't it too early?" Doyoung added.

"What are you talking about? I'm just taking my hoodie off," Taeyong answered and took his hoodie, then was left in his tank top and shorts. The boy furrowed his eyebrows before he went closer to his boyfriend on the ground, "What's up with you today, huh?"

The bunny looked away and felt his cheeks heating up, "N-Nothing--Taeyong!"

Suddenly, Taeyong went to sit down on Doyoung's stomach. He placed his hands on his hips and frowned.

"Come on, tell me. I think I know what's in your head, Doyoung," the boy uttered.

Doyoung sighed, "It's nothing--"

"Was it something Hyuck said? I can sense it."

"Taeyong, let's just drop it--"

"Birthday sex?"

The bunny even became more flustered that made the boy to roll his eyes at him.

"We won't do it, if that's what you wanted to hear from me."

"Oh..."

"But it's not too late to ask."

Doyoung sighed which made Taeyong to laugh and hugged his boyfriend. The older snuggled and hummed as he felt relaxed. He listened to his boyfriend's heartbeats and it was comforting.

"I don't want it if you don't. I'm fine with anything you want and I'll respect your decisions," Taeyong uttered.

Doyoung nodded and combed Taeyong's hair back.

"I love you for that."

The older chuckled, "I love you too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Doyoung..."

"I'm glad I'm spending my time with you."

But that was two years ago...

"Youngie..."

"I don't want to hear any of your excuses, Taeyong! I've had enough!"

Just like their usual routine for the past two years, Taeyong and Doyoung would have their never-ending fight everytime they're together. They quarrel because of everything. Doyoung changed. He became overprotective, easily gets jealous, insecure and short tempered. He wasn't like that and it upsets Taeyong. He tried to understand him but apparently, Taeyongdoesn't know that Doyoung was just afraid to lose him.

But Taeyong thought it was overboard.

"Doyoung!"

"You're just going to tell me that's I'm wrong, am I right? But that won't fool me! I already saw it, Taeyong. Both of my eyes saw both of you!"

Jaehyun came back.

And Taeyong was the first one to know about it. Upon hearing the boy arriving back in Seoul, it made him feel like he needs to talk to him. So he did. It took him a while before he had the courage to reach out to Jaehyun and asked him if they could meet. Jaehyun seemed to be happy about it so he accepted it, wanting to clear things up. They talked to each other, with no feelings in between. Both of them were able to move on.

Then Doyoung found out about it which made them fight that seemed to be the worse out of all. Well, it was Taeyong's fault not saying anything to Doyoung. But they just got into a fight that's why he couldn't say anything to his boyfriend.

"Doyoung, listen to me! I wanted to talk about some things with him, okay? We didn't do anything wrong!" Taeyong uttered.

"Why? What's your deal with him anyway?" the boy asked angrily as he walked towards the door, wanting to get out of the apartment but stopped when Taeyong spoke.

The boy's eyes were started to tear up, "He's the guy I dated years ago, but it was for closure--"

"Closure?! And you didn't even bother telling me?! What the fuck is happening with us, Taeyong...? Are you seeing other guys now? Behind my back? Really? And you think I'm that stupid, huh? When am I going to know about this? Never?"

Then Taeyong started crying silently. These days were the worst that he's been through. Doyoung would always shout at him then he would shout back at him as well. They would leave the apartment for space, or even sleep in their friend's house for the night. They never solved any problems and it was tiring Taeyong which made him to cry right now.

"You're the one crying when you're the one who kept on creating problems for us," Doyoung uttered.

Taeyong got angry, "Why is it always me?! You're the one who changed and started to make a problem out of everything! I'm so tired, Doyoung..."

"So, you're giving up?"

The boy stared back at his boyfriend infront as he wiped his tears off his cheeks and bit his lower lip. He sniffled and covered his face with both of his hands. He couldn't stop crying at the thought of 'giving up.'

"You're giving up because you're tired of me? Is that it?"

Taeyong clicked his tongue and removed his hands, "Y-You weren't the Doyoung I loved anymore...You're different. I-I just met with the guy and you started jumping into conclusions when y-you shouldn't! I trust you, but you don't trust me...Why? Y-You got insecure, huh? You think I will replace you just because he came back? You think I'm the bad guy here? I-I tried understanding you, Doyoung--"

"If you didn't give me any reasons to act like this, then we won't fight like this," Doyoung uttered.

The boy frowned with wet eyes, "Really? So you think I'm the problem?"

Taeyong said that straight into Doyoung's eyes. They stayed quiet until the boy spoke.

"You know what? Let's just end this...This isn't healthy anymore."

Then Doyoung snapped out of his mind. His worst nightmare coming true and it seriously made anxious, nervous. He combed his hair back in frustration.

"What--"

"Doyoung...Can't you see? W-We're hurting each other, mentally. C-Call me weak but I just can't do this a-anymore...I'm the problem here. Even if you don't s-say anything, I'm the reason why our relationship is failing," Taeyong cried harder, feeling the heaviness slowly lifting up but it hurts so bad, "It's slowly killing me..."

The other boy worryingly looked at the crying boy infront of him, "Look, I'm so--" before he could pull the other for a hug, Taeyong took a step back.

"Doyoung, it's over."

"Taeyong, you can't..."

"Yes, I can. I don't want to hurt you anymore--"

Then Doyoung suddenly knelt, removing their couple ring on his hand and held it. Taeyong sighed in frustration with tears still running down as he stared at the other.

"T-Then, we can settle things. Isn't this what you wanted? To get married...W-We can be happy again--"

Taeyong placed a hand on Doyoung's, where he was holding the ring, and softly pushed it away.

"I'm tired, Doyoung..."

Then tears started running down Doyoung's cheeks. His head drop and sat on the floor, feeling defeated at this point. He angrily threw the ring, god knows where it went, and cursed. Taeyong felt so bad but it's what he wants. This time, he wants to take care of himself and he couldn't keep up the fighting.

"You just can't say you're tired...Wh-What were the promises for? The memories? The 5-year relationship? You're putting everything aside because you're tired?"

The boy sniffled, "What am I going to do?! S-Still be in this situation when things are crumbling?! I can't do this forever, Doyoung. I'm a mess--Both of us a-and I don't think I can keep up...Both of us are broken at this point--"

"Then I can fix us!" Doyoung stood and uttered those words that seemed like a joke to Taeyong, "I can fix everything! I promise to go back, I-I promise to be your boyfriend you used to love, I-I won't hurt you anymore. I-I promise...Fuck. Taeyong, don't leave me..."

Taeyong gave another shaky sigh.

"As much as I don't want to leave you, I'm better off fixing myself on my own."

Both hearts were broken, their minds messed up but Taeyong was so sure about his decision. He already thought of it and it was time to tell Doyoung about it. He wiped off his tears before he hugged Doyoung.

"We can always come back if we still want to be together. F-For now, let's give ourselves some time to pick up the pieces by ourselves."

Taeyong pulled away and cupped Doyoung's jaw, as he smiled sadly. He gave out a small chuckle but just cried harder at how it hurts. Doyoung didn't do anything but to respect what the boy decided.

Doyoung could've done better, but it was too late for wishes.

There's no hope for a happy ending.

(Next) episode 4: Porque [Xiaojun, Hendery] >>