ODETTE | MOETTI

IT WASN'T MY alarm that woke me up for once, it was a notification from my phone. A text, specifically.   

I wasn't that type of person who didn't put their phone on silent. I only left my imessage notifs on from my parents because that was how we mainly communicated— and God knows what would happen if I replied too late. We spoke more through a glass screen than face-to-face, even though sixty percent of the time they were on campus, somewhere.

I didn't have practice this morning, my parents knew that, so it was probably why they "requested my presence" through a message. I couldn't help but stare at my phone after reaching out to grab it. My stomach churned at the prospect as I sat up.

That couldn't be good. What was I in trouble for this time?

Lesedi's yawn from the bed on my left pulled me out of my daze. I didn't expect her to rouse, but I underestimated the power that routine had on her.

We were up at six most days, what difference would another day make?

I knew the moment she'd read my expression and ignored the pull of sleep because she sat up and turned towards me. "Odey?"

I knew better than to shrug it off and tell her to go back to bed; she wouldn't leave it alone until I told her.

"They want me to meet them before period one."

Just the mention of the two made Lesedi pull a face that made me laugh. She slipped out of her bed and into mine so she could wrap her arms around me in a shea-butter scented hug. For a few moments we basked in each other's embrace and the gentle breathing in the room.

"I'm always here for you, you know."

"I know." I only let myself linger for another second before pulling back. "Thank you, I'll catch you at breakfast."

Spotting her drooping eyes, I escaped my duvet to cover her with it and let her fall asleep again on my bed. Her fight didn't last long as a yawn cut her off before an argument left her lips and I smiled.

After praying, I dragged myself to the bathroom and got ready. I didn't encounter any bumps to my routine my until I found myself looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror again. There was something about the small row of bright lights installed into the top that forced me to face the dark depths of my mind.

Memories — memories that I'd tried hard to drown — kept resurfacing. The muscle in my chest raced as if I was back in them. The scar on my calf ached with a phantom burn and I rubbed at the bare skin that was on show even now I was in my school uniform. The sensation didn't go away so I pulled my knee-high socks to at least hide it.

Like it had never happened.

I pressed a palm to my sternum and tried to manage my breaths.

In and out, like I'm in the water.

Just the thought of the pool calmed me enough to steady my breathing. But the girl in my reflection didn't look like she was her country's best swimmer: she looked haunted.

I broke my gaze from the troubled face and turned my attention to my uniform. The last thing I wanted was to be nitpicked on my clothes when I walked into my parents' office.

Noting it's askew state, I adjusted my navy waistcoat that sat on top of my white, long-sleeved button-up. It caused a synching around my waist and highlighted my slight hourglass. I always felt like it revealed too much of my figure so I popped on an embroidered jumper.

Much better.

My blue checkered, pleated skirt brushed the tops of my knees and complimented my brown skin. The black ribbon of my bow draped my shoulder as I hadn't tied it under my collar since I always left it to last.

I decided I'd spent long enough looking at myself and left the space. I made sure to grab my blazer and bag, with school things inside, on my way out. It was a simple, cute black backpack I'd brought for this year ( I'd learnt the hard way about using a Tote bag ). It held my timetable, lanyard with ID, and stationary for the day. Forgetting it would just cause issues for me later.

Slinging it over my shoulder, I made my way out of the dorm. I glanced at the time on my phone before slipping it into my inner pocket.

Twenty minutes; more than enough time to get there and mentally prepare myself.

I took a deep breath as I heard the dorm door click shut once I was in the hallway.

Well, I hoped it was enough.

✞

The door to their shared governor office, in the South wing of the school campus, was just as ominous as ever. The expensive mahogany wood held a plaque with my last name on it, but it didn't make me feel any more comfortable.

I wondered if I ever would be when it was related to them.

Ignoring my fingers twitching around my rucksack straps, I took one last breath of freedom.

I can't be late.

I knocked and waited for the usual "Come in, it's open," from my Father. I pressed at the place above my heart in a hopeless bid to get the muscle to slow.

I went in anyways— I had no choice.

"Good morning." I made sure to say the greeting the moment I'd stepped foot into the flowery-smelling space.

Their mood towards me for at least the next few days, rested on that little greeting. They'd either make sharp comments about how disrespectful I was at any chance, or they wouldn't say anything at all.

It was natural at this point for me to pull up a façade for my parents, so that I appeared as the daughter they wanted— not the one I was. An elastic smile eased across my features, despite the urge to leave the room. My posture slacked slightly, so I stood less than my 5'10. Father didn't like that I was taller than him now, I could tell it by his eyes— even though he hadn't looked my way in weeks. But my thoughts switched off as I took measured steps to the desk he sat at.

They both returned the greeting, but Father didn't lift his gaze from the small stack of papers on his desk. I knew they held information about my timings for each year I'd been in competitive swimming. He loved to reference them in his usual tear-down-Odette's-confidence convos.

Mother sat at the pale, oak desk, adjacent to his, and had her hands clasped on it's surface. In contrast to him, her gaze hadn't left my frame since I walked in. I felt like every part of the person I was pretending to be, was being dissected for imperfections.

It was only a matter of time till she found one; she always did.

Unsurprisingly, they didn't ask about my trip here with Lesedi or how I was doing, they cut straight to the chase. The "chase" being my swimming career.

Father shuffled through my timings from this Summer just gone; even upside-down the word 'event' was recognisable to me. "In January, when you turn eighteen, you will no longer race in the under-eighteens category. You will be racing alongside women who have been in the sport much longer than you have. There's going to be more competition and it'll be more difficult, but you just have to be on your A-game."

The seconds that went by in the absence of him talking made me realise I was supposed to give a reply. "I'll do my very best this year."

Even suggesting I felt anxious would have horrible repercussions. They thought I couldn't have any fears because I was "the best" at what I did. I still didn't know what to make of their dizzying belief in my abilities. I knew I wanted them to accept I could worry though.

Mother piped in then. "You should also do excellent in your A-levels as well. There is no excuse for you not to as you have everything you need. You have your books, teachers and resources that not many in this country have. You should be grateful."

I had to bite my lip then. I swear I could feel the pressure piling onto my shoulders with every word she that left her plum-painted lips. The breaths that entered my nose felt thin but I tried to ground myself.

I could really use a swim right now.

No, anything that meant I was away from here.

Father spoke again but I kept my eyes on the spot on his charcoal suited shoulder. "And no boys, we don't need you pregnant. . ."

It wasn't my fault that I zoned out of the rest of his speech. It was repetitive and they'd gone over this list so many times that I didn't understand why they still brought it up— especially the boy one.

I'd barely even spoken to the male race as it was. The only one who I'd ever struck up a companionship with was a male swimmer called Theodore. We chatted occasionally during breaks in heats or when Lesedi was up and the two of us weren't swimming. But never mind speaking, I hadn't even held hands romantically with one.

". . .And you shouldn't let Lesedi distract you from your goal, or let her persuade you into doing things that would negatively impact your swimming. I know she's a bad influence."

I couldn't help but associate when my ears caught my cousin's name. Even though I hadn't heard all he'd been saying, his thoughts about her were clear. The content of his words weren't surprising to me anymore, — still, they did pinch at my chest — it was how he said them.

His dark face was passive as he flicked through the papers in front of him making it even more obvious that he saw Lesedi, family, as a distraction. A "bad influence". Someone I should do away with because she wasn't worth my dream.

For a moment, a single moment, I felt so overwhelmingly angry. Like I could swipe everything off his desk and stomp on his precious documents and rip up all the things that garnered his gaze— because couldn't he see? All this moulding and crafting of me into being the perfect trophy had worked out well for them but not for me.

Lesedi was the only one I'd had in all my seventeen years. I'd became so solitary and swimming-focused that I didn't even, really, know the girls on the swimming team, forget the subs.

I was basically a privileged loner.

The fire that burned within me had me clenching my fists behind my back. He still hadn't looked at me since I entered the office. He hadn't since I'd came first at the British Summer Championships, and even then I'd had a swimming cap on.

Because he couldn't bear to look at me with short hair.

Just as quick as the flurry of emotions came, they were snuffed out. I was the meek daughter again. The who never struck back, because they'd do the same tenfold.

"Yes Daddy, I understand."

The title fell oddly from my mouth; I'd referred to the man in front of my as "Father" in my head for years now. From the moment I'd gotten my scar. Still, I knew I'd be asking for something if I didn't address him as if I was young— before he'd changed.

Maybe he still saw me in that light; as his little girl that had to be perfect enough to be posted on social media for the extended family to congratulate him over. I couldn't see him as I used to, it was impossible to. Not with the mark on my leg.

"Have a good day Odette."

Mother's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I turned my eyes towards her. My browns didn't remain there for more than a few seconds.

My relationship with her was complicated. It was heavy from the brunt of a past filled with unuttered apologies and secretly shed tears. I never knew how I felt about her. It was difficult— like existing alongside them was difficult.

I made sure to nod and my smile stretched into a weak one. "Thank you Mum. Both of you have a good day too."

I turned around then, despite the hairs lifting on my neck. My steps were steady as I headed towards the door. However, I didn't listen to the warning in my head telling me not to look back.

As I stepped into the hallway, I glanced back through the closing door to see Father's hadn't risen to watch me go— they were glued to a folder he'd opened and was reading. I bit down on my lip as my ears caught the soft click behind me of the door's lock. I stalked down the hallway and blinked harshly.

I am not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry. I am so not gonna cry.

I ended up in the nearest bathroom, and thanked God that it was empty. I stood before a sink and gripped its edges while I tried to keep it together. The girl in my reflection had wet eyes and trembling lips. My fingers tightened their grip on the cold porcelain.

Don't cry Odette, c'mon. They're not worth the tears.

I held my right hand up in a peace sign by my face and laughed at myself as my tears brimmed over.

This would so be a new low— if I hadn't already done this before.

A vibration from my inner blazer pocket made me release the sink from my grasp and pull out my phone. After it unlocked with my face-ID, I could see who the messages that popped up came from.

lesssss 😋
just want u to know
that ily and i'm proud
of u babes 🫶🏿

lesssss 😋
plus we both know ur
dad just doesn't want u
to reach ur full potential
bc he knows ur a future
threat to him 🤭

lesssss 😋
he knows his next
stop is the care home
fr 😏

Somehow, a laugh left my lips and I wiped away the tears that had escaped. I typed out a quick response, so thankful I had her.

me
ilym than i can explain
les,, im coming to you
now <3

Giving my appearance one last look over, I left the empty space and made my way to Breakfast.

The cafeteria was semi-filled when I entered and I couldn't get over how weird it was to see other people I wouldn't normally on my old timetable.

It was like I was a new kid.

"Ay Odey! Over here!"

It took me half a minute of searching the grand space to spot Lesedi. By then, it was pretty much at capacity, with teachers, Upper and Lower Sixth bustling about trying to get what was on offer this morning before classes began.

The Athletes line was less longer than the other, but it made sense; there were less people who did sports than didn't. Lesedi was in the queue near the front and I joined her.

I didn't really want to push in but she didn't give me a choice since she tugged me by my hand as soon as I was in arms-reach. She definitely put too much force into the pull because I knocked into her.

Still, she was grinning at me and I laughed quietly as she looped arms with me. I tried to get out of her clutches, but she wouldn't let go. We ended up stumbling into a person behind us in the line.

"Les stop," I tried to keep my lips in a straight line before turning around to apologise to the wide-eyed girl. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

The ginger's cheeks were cherry red and she let out a flustered, "Um, it's fine!"

Her reaction was definitely because she'd recognised us.

The notion soured my mood but Lesedi poked my side, getting my attention.

At my raised eyebrows, she smiled and jabbed her head towards the breakfast set out. "Moody Margret, keep moving: we're next. What are you getting?"

It didn't take me long to decide from the swimmers section; I ended up with sliced bananas in porridge and a bottle of water on my tray. I was just waiting for Lesedi to finish picking out her fruits.

"You want us to sit with them? Or somewhere else on our own?"

I followed Lesedi's eye-line to our table and found our roommates sat down. For a moment, I thought about saying no. I didn't want my bad mood to ruin the others' morning, but then Father's words resurfaced in my mind.

"And you shouldn't let Lesedi distract you from your goal."

I shook my head from the memory. This could be my year of forming new friendships. It wasn't rebellious or bad for me to finally branch out, no matter what he said.

How would I manage in the adult world, if I had zero social skills?

Even though my stomach dropped at the idea of Father finding out I'd went against his word, I had to do this. Maybe that was what pushed me to do it even more, especially at the hurt that was still stuffed within my chest.

I had to do this for myself.

"I want to sit with them and put this mornin' behind myself."

Lesedi could always read into my words and whatever she saw made her pull me into a small side-hug. "Love you."

She followed the phrase by offering to spoon some raisins into my porridge. Considering she had been the one to spark my hate for the fruit, I gave her a dry look. When we were young, she'd lied and said that a rabbit dropping she'd found in one of her past bunny's cages was a raisin. Me being the trusting six year old I was, I put it in my mouth and have been traumatised ever since.

Lesedi laughed like a mad woman while I walked away to seek out to our dormmates.

How did I put up with her again?

I sat opposite Aerona and turned my attention to the girls instead of my snickering cousin who was trailing me. "Good mornin'."

Aerona didn't stir from where she had her head rested on the table but Noor and Jae returned the gesture.

"Is she alright?" I would have thought the Welsh lass wasn't breathing if it wasn't for the soft rise and fall to her shoulders.

However, Jae didn't look concerned and resumed eating her avocado on toast. "She's just not a morning person."

Lesedi set her tray in the space to my right. "Relatable."

My lips twitched but I turned the conversation to the first lessons of the year. "So, what d'you guys have today?"

That was a safe question right? It was one I'd heard Lesedi ask others in our past few years and had never failed her.

Jae pulled a face and for a moment I debated if I should leave the socialising to my cousin— at least for today. "Law, an hour of independent study and a volleyball session."

Noor cautiously patted her arm from where she sat on the ginger's left. "If it makes you feel any better, I have an hour of tutorial and double music followed by harp practice."

Jae rubbed at her temples as her lips flicked up at the corners. "Thanks Noor, but I actually feel jealous. I'd easily choose a whole day of violin over volleyball."

Aerona seemed to gain consciousness by then as she rose to lay her cheek on the asian girl's shoulder. "That's because you're amazing at it, dummy."

Jae didn't push Aerona off her, in fact she kept her movements minimal as she ate. "No I think the fact I have to be an "example" to Lower Sixes at practice that plays a huge part to it."

From the quirk to her brows, I knew Lesedi was just as curious as me. If she didn't like captaining, or being apart of the team, why was she a co-captain?

I left it to Lesedi to ask. "So you don't like being a captain, but you are one? Head Girl I'ma need an explanation."

"Well," she glanced down at Aerona to check the dozing brunette wouldn't chip in. "My aim for this year was to be Head Girl and Head Girl alone. However the coach of the female team basically won't let me leave, something about me being on the team being the reason for their success these past few years? Anyways, I don't care. It's annoying. I don't want to explain how I do the things I do to my teammates. It's irritating, especially since I'm not made for coaching."

My lips couldn't help but lift at her last sentence and in the quiet after her words, I nudged Lesedi. "You can relate to the coachin' bit."

"Shush." She jolted my arm so my spoon missed my mouth before turning to Jae. "Why don't you just not show up then? It's not by fire by force."

The Head Girl let out a heavy sigh from her pouty lips as if she'd been through the idea already. "It would affect my attendance and I want to apply to Oxford. I'll just suck it up."

I nodded, understanding the sacrifices you had to make to achieve your goal: like me giving up fast food for a diet that would be beneficial to my form.

The flavour of a McDonald's chip was a distant memory.

"Ron, what do you have?"

The nickname made me turn to Lesedi— Was Aerona really going to respond to that?

It seemed like my doubt was wrongly placed because the Cheerleader captain sat up like she was struck and nailed Lesedi with a glare that caused my heart to race.

"Call me that again and I will hide your copy of Believe Me." I didn't understand the threat but by the way Lesedi's previously smiling lips gaped, I pieced that it couldn't be good.

She swallowed and turned her attention to slowly eating her non-fat yogurt. "Noted ma'am."

The two's convo couldn't continue when a giant of a guy approached the table. He had his backpack hooped over one shoulder and the large hand holding it up had a single ring on it. His uniform was perfectly put together and I couldn't spot a single wrinkle.

Despite him wearing St Everfields uniform like the rest of us, there were a few touches that hinted at his personal style. Silver cufflinks tightened the wrists of his button-up. He'd ditched the school blazer and only wore the navy jumper instead. Even though it was a size or two large, it was clear he had a shredded build from the way biceps were shaped. A silver watch was on his wrist but I could start the beginnings of a tattoo there and I wondered how more he had. I hadn't met that many students with tattoos so it surprised me.

His face was chiselled from his brow to his sharp nose but his black waves that kissed his ears and softened his vibe. The only proof that he was our age and not older was the black lanyard around his neck that sat against his uniform.

He sat in the empty seat to the left of Aerona but she didn't seem worried, in fact a smile I hadn't seen before pressed up her glossed lips. I couldn't help but notice his good posture and the way he effortlessly stole a apple slice from her tray. Despite the silence since the dark-haired guy's arrival, he didn't make a move to introduce himself. Well, not until the darkskin beside him gave him a fierce elbow.

"Cai Howell." The two words came out in a deep voice that hinted at an accent similar to Aerona's.

He didn't elaborate and I blinked. With Aerona's bubbly, talkative personality, I was surprised she was friends with someone who seemed to be her complete opposite.

It only made my eyebrows fly up when he rested a cheek on a fist and turned his face to her to murmur, "Save me from Neo, Cariad."

Cariad? It sounded welsh.

It meant something positive by the beam on Aerona's dark lips.

The Cheer captain snorted as his hand found hers before he moved their interlocked fingers beneath the table. "I'm sure he needs saving from you."

I looked over at Jae to find her finishing her toast like the scene to her right was a common occurrence. Maybe it was, we'd only met the girl Saturday after all.

Cai grumbled something only she could hear in response. I caught them share a look when Aerona rested their joined hands on the table instead of letting him hide it. From what I'd seen in the past few minutes, I was less shocked to find matching black bands on their ring fingers. But it was them both having the other's initial engraved that made me blink.

"Childhood friend, huh?"

I got Lesedi's ribs good enough to make her hiss at me, but it was well deserved. And I knew it was the right move when Aerona threw me a grateful look. Cai didn't even shift his eyes from her.

Jae, as usual, knew where to shift the conversation to. "Is this about Moseki's cat?"

"Cat?" The confusion in Noor's voice was almost palpable. "Are we allowed to bring pets—"

"Emotional support animals." Lesedi apparently corrected.

"—here?"

Jae's greens rolled at my cousin and I didn't blame her. "If that's what helps you sleep at night, but they're still against school rules."

She was backed by Cai's low mumble of, "Exactly."

I tried to paint a picture of Neo Moseki in my head. I'd had to listen to her rants about the basketballer last year when they were partners in psychology. He'd eventually fixed his act and worked alongside her for them to an A* on their year-long project. Plus, someone she was comfortable with talking over email during the holidays. And, of course, was someone who brought his cat to school despite it being against the rules.

Who was this guy?

The space inside my mind felt muddled so I shook my head in an attempt to clear it.

One thing was for sure; he ran on Lesedi's wavelength.

Even though Noor and Jae were having a conversation, I couldn't help but look at what Aerona and Cai had— even if she said it was platonic. They cared for each other immensely, I could see it in the thumb strokes he gave her, and in how she pushed back a few inky strands from his forehead while they had their own hushed chat.

Whatever it was, I'd like to experience it one day.

I was snapped out of my musing when Lesedi's hand landed on my shoulder. "C'mon, we've got class babes."

I blinked a few times before registering that the ten minute warning bell was echoing over the tannoys. I rose from my seat like the others were and tried clearing my head.

It was probably the meeting with my parents that had me floating in my thoughts.

I picked up my empty tray and followed Lesedi to the tray racks on the far side of the room where you could stack trays and dirty utensils. Even though we technically could leave our stuff at the table, the idea had never sat well with Lesedi and I. When we'd slotted everything in its appropriate place, we quickly caught up to the other girls — plus Cai — who'd put their trays in a different stack.

The walk with them out of the refectory was comfortable, even with Jae firing question-after-question at the Cai. It was clear she was intent on finding out just how many rules had been broken in his dorm.

"Are you going to tell on them?" Noor sounded as curious as the rest of us were.

"I wish." She ended her grumble with a sigh as we ascended a staircase. "I'm going to talk to Kaede to see if he can get Moseki in order."

Lesedi's laugh made me glance over at her. "It's impossible to control that guy."

Cai broke his eyes of Aerona for the first time since he'd come to the table, to look at my cousin. "You know him?"

She only snorted at his raised brow before shrugging. "He was my psych partner last year."

Some flash of recognition flickered in his greys as he nodded. It seemed like she'd passed some test in the basketballer's eyes— and not even that, it was like she'd excelled his expectations.

I spied his lips hitch up at the corners. "All I can say is good luck to him."

Lesedi's smile only grew broader. "Thank you, Aerona's childhood friend."

I made a mental note to talk to her in depth about about him tonight with her.

"I thought it was the other way around?" Jae glanced in-between Cai and Lesedi.

I personally didn't understand the difference but I was missing some important information.

Cai, like the laconic person I'd come to learn he was, shook his head. "You've not seen how he acts about her."

My eyes wandered on their own to Lesedi's face. A range of emotions passed over her before she settled on a blank canvas.

I definitely needed to hear the full story from her ASAP.

Aerona spoke up before he pulled her down the corridor that lead to the humanities section of the East block. "I'll see you guys at lunch, alright?"

We only got to give her a few nods before Cai was leading her down the hallway by her hand.

I almost chuckled. I didn't know childhood friends who acted like that.

I could just hear Aerona asking Cai to share his thoughts and him saying no.

I tilted my head. They were obviously close, but he wouldn't share it with her? How did Neo act around Lesedi?

"So. . .Neo's a basketballer?" Noor's question let me know that I wasn't the only one who was lost.

I laughed along with the girls and Noor smiled ( I had the sneaking suspicion that she'd asked it to lighten the mood ). Jae still explained who he was again as I hooked my elbows with Lesedi's.

"We're so not done here y'know."

She rolled her eyes but it didn't take my attention away from her grin at the prospect of sharing all the tea she'd been keeping to herself. "Yeah yeah."

EL SPEAKS !
and we're back! finally rectified my dodgy updating so i'll be back to once every two weeks.

but ANYWAYS what do you think?? yall hate her parents too right? 😒 what do you think of cai and aer ??🤭

next chapter will contain kaedeodette and neolesedi scenes from the act 1 snippet 🤭im so excited to show you guys,, think of sneaky, late night, silly kitchen activities ☺️

VOTE and COMMENT or ill find your house. 😍 love yous all and hope yous have had a good day 🫶🏽 you can always rant to me if it wasn't 😠

( posted; 14/04/24 )