"Saan ka pupunta, nak?" My mother asked when I went out on my bedroom.

"Makikipagkita po sa kaibigan, Ma."

Nanonood si Mama ng cartoons sa living room, nakaupos sa sofa habang nakaupo si Gido sa kanyang tabi at si Rissa ay nasa kanyang lap.

"Kaibigan?" Mahinang natawa si Mama. "Espesyal ba 'yang kaibigan na 'yan? Mukhang date ata, eh." She giggled. I was wearing a black skater dress with white blazer and a knee high gladiator sandals.

I smiled. Simula nang nagkaayos kami ni Matmat ay ang gaan na ng mga naging araw ko. I went to Rissa and kissed her cheeks and nose. "Pakabait ka kay Lola, hmm?" paalala ko.

She nodded and let out a goofy smile. "You're going out on a date, Mumma?"

I bit my lower lip and pat her head. "How did you know that thing, huh?" Mahina kong pinisil ang kanyang maliit na ilong. She just giggled again. Natuwa si Mama sa ginawa ng bata.

Napabaling ako kay Gido na bumaba ng sofa at inamoy-amoy ang paa ko. Natawa ako at umupo bago hinalikan si Gido sa noo. "Bilis mo namang lumaki!"

Tumayo na ako at inayos ang pagkakasabit ng shoulder bag ko sa kanang braso. I waved my both hands at them. "Bye!" I uttered cheerfully.

I went out on my unit and stood in front of Matmat's door unit since magkatapat lang naman ang unit naming dalawa. I checked my phone from my bag and texted him.

A smile crept on my lips while typing a message for him.

To: Lover 🦋💍

hi

i'm in fron of ur unit!!

are u already dressing up?

or still taking a bath??? 🤪😳

Dahil sa hindi siya agad nag-reply ay nag-antay pa ako ng mga tatlong minuto roo , nakatayo at inii-sway ang katawan, halatang excited sa date namin.

Hindi na ako nakatiis at ini-type ang password na sinabi niya sa akin sa keypad door lock ng pinto. 0214 ang ginawa niyang PIN. It's my birthday.

Naglikha ito ng tunog nang akin nang binuksan at pumasok sa loob ng unit niya. I really don't want to barge in here but I'm stoked of dating him again.

I sat on his couch and placed my shoulder bag on the coffee table in front of me.

My eyes roamed on his unit. It was a simple and neat place. White amg kulay ng kanyang pader at ceiling. Ang couch naman na aking inuupuan ay off white. Ang tiles ay ganoon din. Nadapo ang paningin ko sa isang large sized frame na nakalagay sa may TV stand.

Nagtungo ako roon at tinignan iyon. It was our picture. The picture that we took when we were having a date on food park. My tears pooled. Nakarinig ako bigla ng pagbukas ng pinto at agad kong binaba at nilagay sa pwesto kanina ang frame.

"Aemour," bulong ni Matmat, may halong gulat.

I smiled a little. "Hi." I bit my lower lip. "You were not answering my texts so..." My eyes landed down to his body. Napalunok ako. Naka-towel lang siya.

"Okay lang. Uh, take a seat." Ginawi niya ang kamay sa couch na inupuan ko kanina. "Magbibihis lang ako." Nagtama ulit ang aming mga mata. "Sorry, natagalan..."

I shook my hands on him. "No need to rush though. Enjoy ka lang magbihis." I chuckled and grinned.

"Maybe..." He trailed off so I raised an eyebrow. "You want to choose an outfit for me," he said.

I licked my lower lip and slowly went in front of him. "Baka mahimatay ako sa hotness mo," I whispered.

Side of his lips rose up. He found my hand and placed it on his chest. Nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanyang ginawa. "It's beating so wild, Aemour," he whispered back. Binaba niya ang aking kamay, hawak pa rin.

I pressed my right ear on his chest. "Your body is so warm, Matmat..." I cooed. His breathing hitched. I cleared my throat. 'M-Magbihis ka na. Excited na ako sa date natin," wika ko sa kanya at tiningala siya. His face was so damn red! Napatakip ako sa mukha, natatawa.

"Aemour." He pouted like a child and embraced me.

"Hmm?"

"Aemour..." His voice croaked. Mukhang lalagnatin yata ako sa sitwasyon naming dalawa.

"W-We can do it, y-you know... Pareho na tayong matanda..." Bumitaw siya sa akin, mabigat ang paghinga. Napalunok ako nang titigan niya ako.

"Are you sure?" Tagos kaluluwa ang titig niya. With that, I tiptoed and kissed him without hesitating.

"Be my boyfriend again, Matmat."

Bumitaw siya saglit at nagsalita. "If that's what my woman likes then I want that too."

I just found myself inside his room. We missed each other so much. With so much anticipation, I started to remove my blazer, but Matmat halted me. He caught my hand.

"Why?" I whispered, it sounded so much like a kid that couldn't have her candy.

"I should be doing that..." he whispered before smirking.

I wanted my firsts to be him. And now I am fully giving myself to him without any regrets. We made love and it was intimate. "I will put a mole in every part of your body, Aemour, remember that," he uttered in a hoarse voice. Pota. Ang puso, nayanig na naman!

"I love you," he uttered, catching his breath. Parang kailan lang no'ng college kami, I've been wanting this from him. Before I fell asleep he whispered me something. "Papakasalan kita, Aemour... I want a family with you..." I just answered him with a hum. My body was so tired but I know that moment, my heart was very happy and contented.

Nakatulog ako nang tatlong oras at nagising na bandang 12:30 PM. Nakadamit na ako nang bumangon.

Matmat gave me a glass of water when he noticed that I woke up. He was still beside me, watching my sleeping face.

Ngayon lang ako bigla naging conscious. Nakita na nga namin ang kabuoan ng isa't isa, nahihiya pa ako! Biglaan lang 'yon, eh! Wala naman sa plano na mangyayari 'yon ngayon! Hindi ko pinagsisihan. Never kong pagsisisihan. Ngayon lang talaga nag-sink in sa akin ang lahat.

We drove to a restaurant using his BMW. He would place his right hand on my left leg when he was not shifting the gear. Minsan ay mahina niya pa itong pipisilin kaya napapatawa ako dahil nakikiliti ako.

"Ah, may naiwan ako sa likod ng kotse," he told me when we had arrived at the restaurant. Nakaupo na kami at naka-order na pero bigla siya nag-excuse pero wala namng problema sa 'kin.

I smiled when I saw Matmat entered the restaurant again. He handed me a bouquet. Specifically, it was a mini crochet sunflower bouquet.

"You made these?" I uttered, impressed, while looking at the detail on how it was knitted. Hindi maialis ang ngiti ko habang pinagmamasdan iyon. It was so beautiful. Halatang gawa mula sa puso.

"Yup. I made that for three months," he replied upon seating again on my front.

Ipinatong ko ito sa aking hita. I placed my elbows on the table, entwined my hands together, and rested my chin in my knuckles. "Wow, talagang grabe ka naman, Doc, ah!" kantyaw ko. "Congrats pala, huh. Late na 'ko. Pero talagang ang ganda no'ng clinic mo," I said, amazed.

He smiled. "That clinic was originally named after my professor's last name." My lips parted then, I nodded my head and listened to him. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya habang nagkukuwento at ganoon din siya, nakatingin din sa mga mata ko.

"Iyong prof ko noon noong nasa med school na ako. He didn't have a child or a wife. It's like... um... parang paborito niya ako." Natawa siya nang mahina. "And then, he told me that he was ill. He didn't want his clinic to be abandoned. That's why, a year after I graduated... he gave it to me... as a gift for... like being a son to him... That's why I promised to work hard and be a good person to everyone. To every patient that I'll handle. Then, months after... he passed away." Napalunok siya.

I pressed my lips into a thin line and reached for his right hand that was placed on the table. I gently squeezed them. "I'm sure that he is so proud of you right now... Napakabait niya." A small smile plastered on my lips. "Napakabait mo ring tao..." I sighed. "Gusto kong maka-catch up sa nangyari sa buhay mo." I pouted. "Let's spend more times like this. I want to listen to you. A lot."

He reached  for my cheek and caressed it. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang naroon. "I want that too. I want everything that we did and we will do. I want everything to be with you." He smiled warmly that it embraced my heart. Nang dumating na ang order ay nagsimula na rin kaming kumain. He exchanged our plates after he sliced his steak.

"About the song," panimula niya sa gitna ng aming pagkain. I glanced at him. "Have you listened to it?" he asked, referring to the vinyl that Eleazar gave to me.

"Oo," I answered, smiling. "It was a good song, Matmat. You can be singer-songwriter too." Napatawa ako.

I paused and remembered the day that I listened to his song. Plinay ko iyon sa turntable na mayroon ako.

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger, every day
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't want to let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

After our lunch, we both went to Landers Grocery. "So sino pala 'yung kayakap mo no'n sa kotse?" Pagtukoy ko sa araw na nagkausap kami.

"Hmm?" His forehead knotted, trying to remember it. "Ah, that one. She's the one who helped me during my residency... Nag-aadjust pa kasi ako no'n kasi kakawala lang ni Sir Joel."

"Bakit kayo nakyakapan?" I asked, then, gave him a small pout. Siya ang nag-offer na magtulak ng cart at nasa tabi naman niya ako, nakapatong ang isang kamay sa kamay niya.

"She's leaving the country, next week. Naging close rin kami and she she confessed that she liked me," he said, emphasizing the 'd' on the word 'liked'. "Kaya ayon, kahit hug kabg daw ibigay ko."

Dahan-dahan akong napatango. "So, liked as in e-d? Dati lang, ganoon?" I narrowed my eyes.

He nodded then, siya naman itong pinanliitan ako ng mata. "What about Axel?" he asked.

"What about Axel?" I innocently asked back. Nagpamaywang siya. Natawa ako at napailing. "Ano?" natatawang tanong ko pa rin.

Then, he heaved a sigh and ruffled his hair before pinching my cheeks. "I really thought you were together. Akala ko anak niyo 'yung cute na bata," aniya na parang nakahinga nang maluwag.

Ngumuso ako. "Anak ni Ate Sydney si Charissa," wika ko. "Umamin si Axel," biglang sabi ko. Bumitaw siya sa paghawak ng pisngi ko, mukhang nagulat. "Pero hindi ko siya nakita as more than friend. Tingin ko nga sa kanya ay kapatid. Ni hindi ko naramdaman na gusto niya ako!" I added.

He smiled. "Siguro ganoon talaga kapag naka-focus na tayo sa isang tao. Hindi na natin napapansin ang iba sa paligid."

"I love you from the top make it drop until it reached the bottom of my heart," I unconsciously uttered. Napangiti siya at ganoon din ako. Ah, it feels so good that we were back. Again. Together.

I planned to visit Leona on my own the next month. Ako lang mag-isa. Nagtanong ako sa mga kakilala noon na nag-aral din sa University of San Bernardino. Napag-alaman ko na lang na she was sentenced to eleven years in prison. At noong binisita ko si Leona, ibang-iba na siya sa sopistikada na Leona na kilala ko.

She became thinner and her under eyes were kind of black. "A-Alam mo bang i-ikaw lang ang bumisita sa 'kin dito?" aniya, naiiyak. She gulped. "Masama 'yong nagawa ko. Nagmahal lang naman ako-"

I gave him a one big time slap. "Hindi pagmamahal 'yon, Leona." I thought she changed. Akala ko pinagsisihan niya iyon.

Nalaman ko na lang na ang Mama ni Leona ay nahiya sa nangyari kaya 'di nabisita ang anak. "Mag-isa lang siya. Sana kahit ikaw na nanay man lang niya, tinuruan mo ng manners dati pa. Hindi sana iyon mangyayari." Nagkataon na nakita ko siyang naglilinis ng table sa Swift's Treats kaya nanghingi ako ng oras at kinausap ko siya. Grabe na ang itinanda niya. Naiiyak siya habang pinakinggan ako.

Pagkatapos naman ay binisita ko ang puntod ni Papa. It's been four and a half years. He was terminally ill. Nagkaayos kami sa mga huling araw niya. Nagbantay at inalagaan ko siya nang buong puso.

I placed the flowers beside his grave. Inalis ko ang mga dahon na nakaharang  sa kanyang pangalan. "Mama, Ate, and I were doing good, Pa." I looked up the bright sky. "Pati si Charissa... Ayon, ang bilis lumaki." I chuckled. Hindi rin ako agad nagtagal at bumalik na sa Taranquil City.

Looking back, life was really full of surprises. Pati rin sa future, lahat may mga pagsubok na darating. I am contented now with my life. All will be alright, in time, yup, that's true. And I thank God for that.

Love has no endings. Our love for each other did not end. It was just covered by pain and agony. It can be the start for making good things in this life and I knew, this time, I was not alone. Indeed, everything will be all right in time. In this time, in this life, may we seek peace in our mind and hearts.

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The song used above is titled "Heaven Knows" by Rick Price.