Hi all, I'm back with a new story!

Only 5 parts! nothing big! LOL

And I'm warning you guys... the leads in this story are really one Insane Couple as the title says! LOL!! they also have other colorful names like Indecent Couple! Dirty Couple! or Potty Mouthed Couple! You will know why this couple got such wonderful adjectives when you read the story fully! LOL

(No time to proof read so excuse my mistakes)

(Madhu's POV)

"Hey, Bitchey! Wake up" I hear my enemy's voice loud near my ears.

"Let me sleep, you Asshole" I shout back sleepily.

"You have been sleeping for 16 hours now. Get up before you starve to death."

"What do you care, you bas***d?" I spat at him, sitting on the bed.

"I'm your husband so I demand respect." He says softly but in a chilling tone.

Aww... I am scared!

"Ah!" I smirk at him. "Husband my foot!"

"One more word of insult I will toss you down from here through the balcony." He says with an evil smirk pointing to the balcony. Would he throw me down from here? From the 50th floor? Will I get any chance to survive?

"Survive? You fool! You will be f**king dead by the time your body hit the ground." He says reading my mind voice. Guess he is right. I will get a massive heart attack the moment he toss me down & die in fear before I reach the ground.

"Aww... I'm so tired!" I moan as I stretch my hands wide.

"Jetlag!" he replies with a shrug.

Then my stomach starts growling making my moronic husband to laugh.

How embarrassing? Why this stomach needs to cry so loudly?

"What's for breakfast?" I ask, my cheeks flushing.

"It's dinner time, Silly!" his laughter roars the room.

"What's for dinner then?"

"Pizza!"

"OMG! Then what you are waiting for? Go get me the pizza box."

"No way am I letting you eat the food on my bed. Move your lazy ass & walk down to the dining table."

"Why don't you pick me up bridal style & take me there?" I ask him sweetly batting my long lashes.

"Why don't I kick you from here so that you will roll down the stairs & find your way to the dining hall?" He suggests back, using the same sweet tone I used at him.

"I hate you, Rishab-f**king-Kundra" I shout, bloody loudly.

"I hate you more, Madhu-Bitching-Bala" he roars back & heads out of the bedroom.

I stare angrily at his retreating form. Why the hell they got me married to this arrogant asshole? To my rival? To my freaking enemy? Why?

But you gave your consent to marry him so shut your f**king mouth, girly! - Someone mocks me at the back of my head.

(2 months ago)

I woke up screaming, loud enough to knock the place down.

"Madhu! What happened? Open the door" my parents call out from the other side of the door.

Then I hear the sound of twisting the door knob & a second later I find myself being engulfed in my mother's arms.

"What's wrong, Madhu?" she asks ruffling my hair.

"I had a dream... um... no... a nightmare which woke me up screaming. I am sorry. You both get back to your room. I am okay." I tell my mother still trying to calm down my erratic breathing.

I could feel my heart thumping against my chest.

"What dream?" my mom probes.

"In my dream I got married to RK!" I look terrified just imagining the thought of I getting married to that dickhead.

"Oh!" my dad says softly & looks at my mom with a 'I-told-you-right?' look.

I frown at my dad. What's this secret communication?

"You sleep, Madhu. We will talk tomorrow." My dad says with a smile & tucks me under the blanket & hands me my 'hug-me' teddy bear. My favorite bear which I am having since I was 5 years old!

(Next morning)

I sleepily walk out of my room & I hear voices coming from the living hall. I head down stairs & stop dead in track seeing the whole Kundra clan cooped in my house.

Mohan Kundra, my dad Shamsher Malik's best friend & business partner. Oh & our neighbor! His wife, Radha kundra is my mom Padmini's school friend. They both fell in love with their husbands while they were studying in the same college. They want their kids that's Rishab & I to fall in love too & get happily married. But That will never happen. I hate his guts. Hate? Nah, I loathe him. He always bully me when we were in school. When we joined college he never let me date any guy. He chased them away from me but that bas***d flaunts around with bimbos. I look up and glare at the ass-hat Rk and sitting beside him is my little brother Sikky, an ass-clown.

"Madhu, come here & sit." Radha aunty calls me bringing me out of my reverie.

"Hello." I wave my hand at them with a small smile. I could see that bampot smirking. I hate his smirk. I just wanna tear his lips wide wiping off his smirk.

"Rishu is going back to States in two weeks..." Oh yeah, I forgot to tell that my enemy resides in USA. He went to do masters in business management & got settled there looking after his father's business in States. My life is much better now because this retard is not living here to bug my head and make me go insane.

"Oh!" that's definitely good news. A week back my enemy came home to see his momma bear. He is his mother's favorite as he is the only child of their family. Smart, intelligent, good looking, handsome are the adjective his mother uses for him but I use adjective like dumbass, arrogant, poker faced pig and what not!

"Then we will fix the marriage" Radha aunty blurts out. Who the f**k is getting married? This good for nothing Devil' kundra? I grin evilly. Aww... his poor little wife, I pity her. Surely she will be one submissive wife. If I were in her place then I will kick this asshole in places where it will pain.

"Whose marriage?" I pipe in curiously. I just wanna hear it loud and clear that this loon is getting tied to a looney! Jingalalala jingalalala! I wanna do a victory dance round the arena!

"Yours!" My dad tells with a wide grin. Bang! They are planning my marriage? I am gonna get married? Oh wow! The world's most beautiful girl is gonna get married to one prince charming. I couldn't help but face palm. I heard a chuckle and I can tell who made the sound. Rk, the butt-in-bas***d!

"My marriage? Papa, I am getting married?" I ask my dad excitedly. Yeah, I am not a blushy blushy girl to run & hide hearing my marriage news. I proudly announce that I am shameless.

"When is my marriage?" I ask my mom.

"Maybe we will fix the wedding in a weeks time." Why so soon? "Because Rishu can't extend his leave. He has to return back in two weeks." She answered my unasked question. why the hell he wanna attend my marriage? Can't I be happy at least on my wedding day? I sure as hell he will tease me to death & kill my good mood & make me turn to a bitch which will surely scare the shit out of my soon-to-be husband. Oh wait! Who is gonna be my husband? My Prince charming?

"Can I see my future husband's photo?" I ask sweetly.

"Hahaha" the room erupts with loud laughters. Everyone present in the room are laughing except for me! I frown at them. How come everyone can go mad at the same time? I should better run to my room, pick my phone and make a call to mental asylum so that they can drag all these nut cases.

"What's so funny?" I ask no one in particular.

"You have seen him, Madhu. You have spent all your life with him then why would you need his photo?" uh-huh? Seen him? Spent all my life with him? Who the f**k he is?

"I always knew they were in love." My dad pipes in. Mohan uncle laughs which sounds more like coughing. Gah!

"Who were in love?" I ask curiously. Why can't they show my to-be-husband's face first and then discuss other useless stories? I sound so desperate!

"I thought he will bring some foreign girl as my daughter in law." Mohan uncle says placing a hand over his chest implying that he would have got heart attack if it had happened really. Oh they are talking about this moron Rk who migrated from India to US. I'm sure this nautanki would have had his share of women by now and showing off in front of his parents as if he is a gentleman. f**k!

"My worry was even worse. I was so worried that he would bring a boyfriend." Radha anuty shook her head as if clearing that disgusting thought. Boyfriend? How I wish he was a gay!

"What?!" I shout. "Is he turning to a gay?" I ask teasingly. Rk, I will tease you to death if I get a proof that you are one! I smirk evilly.

"For the past two years I didn't see him with any girls. All the photos he posted on FB were of his guy friends so was worried." Radha aunty sags back on the couch sighing in relief. Yeah, even I have seen lots of monkey boys with him giving weird poses for photos and this stupid will also share those puke worthy pics.

"So Rishu is in love?" I ask joining the dots. After all I am a clever bitch.

"So are you." My mom smiles. I look at her confused. With who am I in love?

"C'mon Madhu, stop your acting." My mom chides me playfully.

"Acting? Me? Oh no! I am your innocent daughter, Mom. How can you accuse me of acting?" I say dramatically making everyone burst out laughing, guess I just proved them right that I am a drama queen! But I ignore them and continue "I don't know what love you are talking about? I know I have a crush on this Vivian guy from the serial we use to watch but I swear I don't love anyone." I say pinching my throat.

"Bitchey, please!" Rk rolls his eyes at me.

"Papa, he called me bitch!" I complain to my dad.

"Uncle, don't believe her. I said 'baby'... you are my baby, Mady!" Rk says in a oh so sweet' tone. He fooled my dad. Oh no!

"So Rishu, will you look after my baby girl?" My dad asks.

Baby girl? I am his only baby girl right? Dad, do you have more baby girls? Did you cheat on my mother?

"Momma!" I went and hug my mom.

"Aww... my baby is getting emotional. I guess she started missing us already" My mom hugs me tightly. Why would I miss them? Oh yeah, I am getting married. See, I am clever! I got it right!

"I fully intend to do, Uncle." That moron promises my dad. What the hell is going on here?

"Uncle, will you permit me to take your daughter to the garden to have a word with her?" he wanna talk with me? The hell, I am gonna go to the backyard and have a f**king chat!

"Of course, beta! She is all yours!" My dad laughs nastily.

"Go and talk, Madhu" My mom gently thumps my back.

"Why?" I ask not knowing what he wanna talk to me. May be he is gonna beg me not to tell his future doormat-like-wife about his wayward life. I thought with a mental chuckle.

"You didn't tell me you are having wet dreams on me?" Rk asks once we reach the garden. My dad plant roses and I pluck roses!

"What did I do in your dream? Ahem Ahem??" Rk asks me haughtily with his trade mark smirk.

"I hate your smirk, f**ktard!" I shout at him.

"Thanks, Bitchey!" his smirk grew wider.

"Ugh!!" I pull my hair in frustration. I hate him!

"Your mother called my mother this morning"

"Oh"

"She told you had a dream"

"Nightmare"

"Whatever! She thinks you love me"

"Love who? You? Rat-shit!" I snort.

"They are planning our marriage."

"You mean dual wedding? You marrying your stupid wife and I marrying my prince charming."

"You are so right! You are gonna be my stupid wife and I am gonna be your prince charming."

"Best joke of the millennium" I laugh holding my stomach.

"Bitchey! Control! Do you want to choke and die?"

"Just tell me you were joking Rk." I snap, now getting little serious.

"I'm serious. They are planning an arranged marriage for us."

"What the eff! Arranged marriage? I'm gonna faint" my head starts spinning.

"Hey! Stop faking! If you really faint also I am not going to hold you."

"I'm not faking. I really feel dizzy. Oh I wanna puke my gut out."

"Did you sleep with any bas***d when I was not in India? and got yourself pregnant?" he shouts at me shaking my arms.

"Um... no" I cower. "I didn't do anything with any man. I don't even have a boyfriend. Trust me, I still hold my V-card!" I don't know why I am blabbering all this to him.

"Good!" his smirk is back. He leans down closer to me and whispers "You will give me your V-card one day"

"Dream on, you f**kass!" I growl at him and he caught my mouth in his.

OMG! OMG! OMG! He is raping me! Save me, please! Help! Help! I scream all this in my head but no words came out.

He pulls my hair sharply and I gasp and he took the chance to shove his tongue into my mouth.

Oh Gosh! This Jackass really knows to kiss? Do I like this kiss? Yes, I know I am enjoying this kiss but I shouldn't. I should kick him on his balls not kiss him. This is so wrong!

"What the hell was that?"

"Kissing!" he says with a cool shrug!

"You assaulted me! You punctured my mouth" I faked a cry.

"God! How I am gonna live my whole life with this drama queen?" he groans.

"God! How am I gonna live my whole life with this Jerk!" I moan in return.

"I am gonna stop this marriage!" I say firmly and start to march back to my house but he grabs my wrist and stops me in track.

"What?" I bark.

"You will do no such thing!" he orders.

"Why?"

"You scared of marrying me?"

"Scared of a chicken like you? Nope!"

"Then let's get married!"

"Nope!" I pop out the P'

"Why?"

"I hate you!"

"But that doesn't mean you don't love me" he states as matter of fact.

This is so confusing! God! Please help your poor child from this mess.

"Our parents always want us to get married so we are gonna fulfill their dreams."

"But what a beautiful couple we will make?" I ask

"We will make one beautiful "Insane couple" and we will also make lots of beautiful insane kids" he winks at me and walks past me leaving me in the state of confusion.

Do I wanna marry him? The monster in disguise? Why my parents like him so much? Why they always tried to hook me up with him? Why this moron never let any man come near me? Does that mean he is possessive for me? He is in love with me? Oh I guess he is! That's why he took this marriage news so easily unlike me. See, how I am just freaking out!

Okay wait! Let me count the number of perks I get by marrying him. Yeah, I am one calculative, manipulative, brainy bitch!

I will get the chance to go to USA! Aww... it's my dream to go abroad but my parents never allow me to go on my own simply because they are over protective for their little kitten! * Face palming*

Moron or not, RK is definitely not a stranger! So I know I will be safe in his hands * Smiling*

Just realized from the little puss licking act... I mean the sexy kiss, it was awesome, and he nearly turned me on. This 'shiz boy' is one hell of a kisser so that's one added point to marry him. * Blushing*

Grudgingly I should agree that this arrogant asshole is sinfully sexy. Though he doesn't match my beauty and brain... but still I can adjust with him. * Smirking*

Oh one more important perk, there won't be any Saas-Bahu drama as I won't live with his family. I will be flying to USA soon after I marry my moron. * Jumping in joy*

Oh, I don't have to see my clown-bro Sikky, daily! * Grinning*

I will kick ass all the bitches that come closer to my man, oh please, I'm not possessive or anything, he kicked all my guy friends and almost made me turn to a lesbian. * Crying*

What next! What next! OMFG! How can I miss the 'white-Hot boys' I am gonna eye-f**k! Yes! Yes! * Fist pumping in the air*

This marriage definitely has its own advantages!

Okay! I'm gonna do it!

To be continued...

Please do vote, comment and share!!!

A/N - Sorry I couldn't update my other stories... really busy with my college projects!

So thought I will post one of my already written stories to keep you all entertained! LOL!

Will try to update my other stories in a couple of days!