The rest of the morning was pretty boring. Shizou asked why I was in his bed, I told him why, and teased him about it for a while. We ate breakfast and then Shizou left me alone, yet again.

I sat down on the sofa watching TV. Some dramatic show was playing. It was about a young girl who got pregnant and then the husband left her or something. The plot was unoriginal (A/N: Like this plot) and the acting was plain out bad (Like my writing). The show had only been playing for ten minutes and it already lost my attention. I sighed and leaned back looking for something to do. I stayed like that for what must've been an eternity. Finally, when my stomach started grumbling I stood up and strolled to the kitchen. I got out some bread and put it on the counter. Tsk tsk You're too fat to eat Izaya. Shut up petty voice I'm absolutely fine. Don't believe me fine, but I'd advice to go look into the mirror. I rolled my eyes. Only to prove you wrong stupid voice. I walked to the mirror in the bathroom and lifted my shirt. Instead of seeing my bony body I saw a bunch of flabs. "There's no way." Oh yes. Izaya look at yourself for proof if you want. That's just my imagination, there is absolutely no way I'm that fat. I ran my hands over my body, and instead of feeling flabs I felt my unhealthy bony body. I smirked at myself and walked to the couch. I plopped my small body onto the couch.

See I'm not fat; I even felt it myself. But that's just a fragment of your imagination. Just like you. You're a fragment of my imagination you're not real. Am I really? I mean isn't your imagination just your brain telling you the truth. Portraying what you don't want to believe. No, the imagination is just a silly human thing. Aren't you human though? No...I am a god. A god to all those petty humans. Oh really? Would a god let them self get kidnapped; would a god let them self get hurt? I guess not. At least I don't think so. Would a god be so pathetic? Wouldn't a god have a shrine? Why would a god be living with a monster? I don't know. But aren't you a god? Shouldn't you know? I-I stop leave me alone. Just go away! Please. But if I were to leave wouldn't you just be alone? Alone by yourself and no one else.

I have Shizou. How long do you think he's going to tolerate you? One of these days he's just gonna throw you out. What will you do then? Izaya's eyes widened as he thought of that possibility. Th-then I'll just go back to my old living standards. Yes you're old apartment where you live alone. I don't live alone I have Namie. She hates you. Just like everyone else does. Just stop! What's your goal here? To bring me more pain? To make me wanna kill myself? For me to feel dead inside? Well you know what you're too late I, already want to kill myself and I'm already dead inside! Well in that case I could just be a.... friend. What? You're no friend. Y-you don't want to help me.

     The voice didn't come back though, and that left me alone to with my broken thoughts. Thoughts can be dangerous. Especially in my state of mind. I sat on the sofa curled into a ball silently crying; the voice was right. It was right in every way possible. I'm not a god, I'm fat, I am alone, and I do want to just die. Leave from this pathetic world that only takes. It takes, takes, takes, and takes! It takes everything you have leaving you with nothing! And that's what I've been left to.

    I sobbed as I thought of Shizou throwing me out of his apartment. I didn't want that. In any other situation I would've been happy to be away from the monster, but in this case I'm not. I shouldn't even call him a monster. He's clearly not the monster here.

I am.

A/N: ok so I'm sorry this took so long. I published this by accident before it was done, sorry. Mind that this has no quotations when Izaya is 'talking' to the voice because it's all through his thoughts. Oh and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being fat. You are beautiful no matter what! Well anywho bye! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long.