Gauri got up in the middle of night all thanks to the nightmare. Nightmares were her one and only constant companion in her life and somehow she had learned to live with them. She knew today's incident would just add up to her nightmares. But she  was surprised to find a weight on her waist and a soft breath ruffling her hair, she knew who it was no doubt but what was she doing here? She could feel his open hair gently touch her face , he smelled of after shave and his favourite perfume. She just couldn't pronounce it no matter how hard she tried, Omkara had tried teaching her as Chulbul but she failed she smiled at her incapability. She smiled at her most fond memories.It was an awkward situation for her they never had been this close. She didn't want him to get up and accuse her. She mumbled - "man mein shanka lagaye Lanka. Shankarji why do you love to torture your chriya? How should I get  out of his grip? He will get angry if he gets up." She tried to get out of his grip but failed to do so. She really wanted some breathing space and this proximity was suffocating her. A lone tear tricked down her eyes and then she could feel his grip loosen she immediately got up with a jolt and gently removed his hand  trying her level best not to wake him up and ran to the balcony. Trying to ignore her racing heart she took deep breaths mumbling- calm down. She looked up at the starry night and said -"bapuji  I am missing you lot for the fact am missing your strong arms who kept every evil which tried to touch me away. Today I haven't come to talk to you I' ve  come to argue with you. Why did you leave me so soon?  Why did you lie  that you would be looking after me with Shankarji. Your just one big liar. If you were looking after me then why is life such a mess? I was accused of being an orphan, illegitimate child, murderer when you died do you know that? I was just 10 back then and then uncle and aunty made me believe  I murdered you . I'm an evil omen whom no wants. Isn't that true no one wants Gauri Kumari Sharma? I don't even know my true identity such a huge misfit ain't I? I had to leave my studies I didn't complain, I had to work hard for Maa because uncle and aunty won't pay for Maa I didn't complain. The only time I complained and rebelled was when they sold me to Kali Thakur as his keep as his new toy. How could I marry him and his brothers? Lust is all I had seen in there eyes and then Omkariji came in . Thakurain sucided I know it's not my fault but still I feel guilty. He messed up the whole equilibrium of my life. He destroyed my shop I broke his car wasn't that karma , tit for tat. But then we meet again, I don't know why. Maybe this what people call fate but I just don't believe it. He misunderstood me and  accused me nothing new just new taglines namely gold digger, house breaker , an unchaste woman and few more. Did it break Gauri? No, how can someone break an already broken person. Did it hurt Gauri? It did no matter how many times I was accused my dignity was never questioned. It did because I have self respect. It did because... She whispered deep down I didn't expect this from him. He pushed me back to the lion's den from where I escaped? Could I forgive him? I don't know? Being Chulbul the moments of friendship spent with him were precious. But should I be angry I don't know? What right do I've to be angry on him? No bond no relationship nothing. Just something ambiguous that ties us. But I won't let it bond me .  Could life be easier for me? Can I end this agony? Can I end this misery? One cut is all it takes I remember Raghav saying before he sucided. I tried it too, but not a big one small ones because I was afraid what if the agony is still there?  What about Maa? I still continue with those small cuts they are my addiction they relive me, calm me down. I promise I won't end life I would fight . I would emerge victorious. Today is the last day we are talking about this. Tomorrow is a new day a new beginning. No Omkaraji, no Kali Thakur and no relatives just me and Maa. New beginning... "  Omkara who was eavesdropping ran back to his room..