Author's Note: Here's an emotional chapter. Most of it is positive, except for Clary and Jace's newfound lack of self confidence, but it gave me feels to write, so........without further ado, here's the chapter you've all been waiting for. Also, I can't think of a song for this chapter, so if you have an idea, please tell me.

Jace

"So, this special girl, what's her name?" Clary asks.

"Her name.........." I reply. "I....I what if she says no?"

"Jace, if she says no, she's the one who's losing out," Clary explains making eye contact with me.

"C....Clary, I really messed things up between her and I, a lot," I explain.

"Then, make it up to her," Clary replies. "Whatever you did, I'm sure it's can't that bad." Oh, it could be.......

"I.....I ignored her while Chloe was here. C...Chloe kissed me twice. We feel alseep in the same sleeping area twice," I ruefully recall all of the things I've done to her.

"Is she still talking to you? Has she given you the silent treatment? Not replied to your texts?" Clary questions innocently.

"No, she's talked to me," I reply. "Even though I don't deserve it."

"D....do you really like her? Enough to work for her forgiveness?" Clary asks. Yes.....I do like her that much......

"I....I do. I think I," I trail off. I think I love her.......

"Y.....you love her?" Clary asks visibly shocked. It's like she can read my mind....

"I think I do," I reply honestly.

"Jace.....I....I've got to go," Clary quietly whispers.

Come on, think! Don't let her leave! "But, you've got to help me, please. I don't know what to do, I need you," I try.

"Jace, y....you don't need me," Clary quietly replies. I can feel the tears gathering in her eyes. Crap, I'm messing up! Crap! I'm messing up! Crap! Ugh! Pull it together!

"Of course I need you. I don't know want I'd do without you. Clary," I push her chin up, so I can see her eyes. T...they're covered in tears. "Y....you're her."

"I'm her?" Clary questions sniffling. "I'm who?"

"C...Clary, you're the girl I messed up with. The girl I ignored while Chloe was here. The girl I had a date with, but canceled by asking you to babysit Willow. The girl I was nervous about talking to," I explain. "I mean I wasn't nervous to talk to you about helping me set this up or that kind of stuff. Just about......asking you about.....coming here for with me.....as a date. I....I'm nervous about that. I mean, I know you have no reason to want to. I know I messed up, just like I mess everything up. I guess that's why people leave, I just mess everything up. I know I don't deserve you. I know you should have someone better. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. I......it's okay if you leave me Clary. I overheard you telling Chloe you stayed because you promised me you would, but I'm letting you out of it. You can leave with a clear conscience. It's not your fault, I left you. Goodness, what is Willow going to do? Will she leave me to? Will I drive her away? Make my own baby not want me. I....it's okay if you don't want me. I'm not worth the trouble or pain. I just want you to know before you leave that I'm sorry. I never should've gotten so caught up in Chloe. She's not even a fraction of the person you are, Clary. You're so special and I really do hope there's someone out there for you, someone who will love you and care about you as much as I do. I know you'll find someone bett-" Clary surprises me by grabbing my cheek and gently pressing her lips to my mouth. I don't respond, I can't. I can't let myself have this sympathy kiss. Clary is so caring that she's trying to make me feel better, but I don't deserve it. The only thing I've ever done right is Willow. Clary breaks off after a second.

"I don't want you to feel bad for me," I say.

"Jace, I don't care what you do, I'm not going to leave you. You can never do something bad enough for someone, who really cares, to leave, it's called unconditional love. Anyone who can leave you for being human, they aren't worthy of your love," I look away from her. "Jace, look at me." I slowly make eye contact with her. "You didn't do anything to make your dad leave. He.....he was a coward...a....a stupid idiot. It's his loss because you are defiantly something to be proud of. Chloe......" Clary's voice falters.

I grab her hands gently, "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" Clary questions.

"You're trying to make me feel better even though I'm the one who did wrong. You're being loving, caring, and just.....you. It's one of my favorite things about you," I explain.

"Jace, I.....I think maybe we should just put all of this behind us. The whole Chloe thing and everything else that goes with it," Clary proposes.

"I think we should do that too," I smile.

"Now, let's put that bed to use," Clary says as she yawns. Stop....reacting! She didn't mean it like that! Ugh! Stupid testosterone.......

Clary looks away. "M.....maybe we should take turns," Clary suggests sadly.

"What? Why?" I question.

"Y....you didn't seem too keen on sharing a bed with me, so I figured we could just take turns." Clary looks away. "I mean....I should've known. I'm not...... like Chloe. She's..... so attractive and I'm...."

"Clary, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Ugh! It's not what you're thinking," I begin. "You're not Chloe. You're so much more. Your beautiful, smart, innocent, funny, caring, silly, and you're the only girl I want. I'm so sorry I've made you doubt yourself again. I'm such a selfish ass."
 
"Jace, it's okay really," Clary tries.

"No, it's not, but if you'll let me, I'll spend everyday making it up to you," I offer.

Clary blushes deep red and crashes into my chest nodding and crying. I gently kiss the crown of her head. "I've got you love," I gently whisper to her as she lets it all out.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
I hope you all like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 5/23/18