MONTH THREE

       Jenny was getting better at being brave. She traveled to her dark, dead realm many times. She was able to enter and exit right out of it of her own accord. But, still, the little hairs on her arms always raised and she felt scared.

        But she was no longer paralyzed by fear once she left. She was able to smile once she came back into the world and shake off the feeling of darkness.

               Once she came back into the land of the living, she smiled at her ability to control it so well. She approached Davina who was working through spells and Jenny sighed, "How long have you been at this?"

              Davina frowned and avoided meeting her gaze, "I've done it before."

              Jenny shook her head before wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "Well, then I'm making sure you take a break. Ice cream sounds nice."

          "Ice cream?" Davina asked as Jenny escorted her towards the exit.

         Jenny hummed before she asked, "Didn't your parents ever take you to get ice cream sometimes? My father used to take me all the time when I got off school when I was your age, especially, when it got really hot."

          "Well, my parents wanted to sacrifice me in a Harvest ritual so no," Davina said sadly as they left the cemetery.

          "Then I'll take you whenever you want," Jenny smiled down at her the young girl. "How about that?"

           Davina couldn't help but smile at doing normal, fun things that she never got to do. In all honesty, Jenny had become a bit like a parent to her.

          "I'd...like that."

          _____

         Jenny ran through the streets in the morning. Although, someone started running next to her. Marcel.

          She smiled a bit before she shook her head, "Davina is fine."

        "I ask about her well-being way too much, don't I?" Marcel said.

        "Maybe a little bit," she teased.

       "Hey, you still haven't come to St. Anne's yet," Marcel pointed out.

         Marcel had turned St. Anne's Church into a gym. She hadn't once come to see it yet.

          "I'm not one of your little vampires, Marcel," she clarified.

             "No," Marcel argued. "But you should learn to fight like one especially with all the new witches that have come to town in the past few months looking for you."

        There had been a plethora of witches coming to New Orleans all looking for her, wanting to use her for her power. Some had been dealt with by Davina and her coven but most had been dealt by...Elijah.

       After all this time and without seeing each other in months, he was still protecting her. It had made her chest feel warm and stomach fill with butterflies. She had all these feelings still even with time.

         "I'll think about it."

         ______

       Jenny did show up to St. Anne's after a couple of days. Marcel had a point and she did want to learn how to really fight.

       At this new gym, she climbed into the boxing ring. Her opponent was a slightly older vampire. They began to fight and Jenny got in a few punches before she was punched across the cheek.

            She hardly reacted. One thing she still did not feel was touch unless it was from Elijah. So, she didn't feel this pain. But even though she was painless didn't mean she was good at fighting.

          She was kicked across the ring. She laid on the ground as her opponent stomped towards her. Her eyes widened as she felt slight fear and that suffocating darkness crept up on her. Instead of fearing it, she let herself fall into it as it swept her away and suddenly she was gone.

         There were gasps from the vampires watching. Her opponent stopped as she looked around in confusion, "Where did she go?"

         Jenny was in her realm of the dead standing on black glass. She moved to the spot she thought her opponent was at and thought about going back. Suddenly, she appeared right behind her opponent in the real world and snapped the neck of her opponent.

         All the vampires were watching with wide eyes and whispers. But Jenny started to smile as thought about her powers and how they made her quite good at this.

That night, she didn't sleep with a light on.

She laid in the dark until her eyes adjusted and even then her eyes saw shadows. Sometimes she thought they moved and she believed she was in her lost plane of the dead where shadows were souls.

But in the darkness, she was a shadow, too, and there was no need to fear her own shadow. That was how the dark became her fear to be wielded, became her calm. It was the thing she knew and there was no fear for the things she had already learned.

_____

On another day, Jenny was reading a book on her bench. She did it every day and she started to love fiction again. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant.

There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world.

Jenny thought of Elijah as she read it. A twin soul. It had been months and she wondered if he even wanted her back.

"The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. A fascinating read," his voice startled her as he began giving her a quote from her book like he always did. He put his hands on the bench railing behind her before leaning down and whispering in her ear. "We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity."

She blushed a bit from the words he spoke to her, "As always, Tristan, I question how you retain so many quotes."

"I rather enjoy literature," he moved away to walk around the bench and sit beside her as he smiled softly. "But you already know that."

"Yes, I do," she replied as she placed a bookmark and closed her book. "Are you here to try to convince to be apart of your Strix again?"

"So what if I am?" Tristan questioned. "Although, this time, I was hoping you would join me for dinner as I try my best convincing. Tonight..."

She gave him a look, "Tristan, I do hope you know this would not be a date."

The vampire had tried to get her to join his Strix. He'd also tried to get her to go on a date with him but she made it clear that she would only ever be a friend.

"It'd be strictly business," Tristan smiled reassuringly.

She analyzed him before she stood up to leave, "Alright."

_____

Tristan had wanted her to meet him for dinner that night. He even sent her a dress to wear. She decided not to wear it.

"You do know that this guy is totally into you?" Gia said as she was getting ready; she invited Gia to come over and tell her what she should wear.

"He says tonight is strictly business," Jenny replied.

"And you believe that?"

"Yes because I won't allow anything else," Jenny said.

"Good," Gia smiled. "Because you and Elijah are perfect and I'll stand by that."

Jenny chuckled before her phone rang. It was Damon. She walked away a bit before answering it, "Damon."

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Damon immediately asked.

"Because I was getting ready," Jenny said.

"For what?"

"I'm meeting Tristan for dinner," Jenny explained. "He says he wants to try to convince me to join the Strix again."

"Uh, no, no, and no," Damon argued. "This guy is way too into you and every guy that's into you is a psycho. Ditch him."

"You are so mean and not every guy has been a psycho. You're forgetting Elijah," Jenny argued.

"Okay, I'm sorry, it's either psychos or vampires who have killed millions of people. It's not a good list."

Jenny couldn't really argue with that before she sighed, "I'm still going, Damon."

"Jen," Damon argued softly. "This guy isn't Elijah."

"I know."

"Then why are you going?"

"Because I'm not sure..." she paused as she was too afraid to say it as tears built up in her eyes. "I'm not sure it's possible for us to ever get back together."

           Jenny was getting some of her feelings back. She wasn't so numb anymore and she could smile again without Elijah being the sole reason. But she still wasn't sure she was ready to be with Elijah again. She wasn't sure if she would ever be. She wasn't sure if she would become just his ghost again; if that was the case then, they would never work and there was no fixing that.

           She wanted to Jenny, the woman he met who threw a smile at everyone. She was getting there but she wasn't complete. Not yet.

"You're being ridiculous. Do I need to come down there?"

"No," she immediately denied. "I just...still need space from Elijah, okay?"

Damon was silent for a moment before he muttered, "Fine."

Then he warned, "But don't do anything I would do and don't do anything I wouldn't do tonight."

She chuckled, "Got it."

_____

Jenny met with Tristan at a very fancy restaurant. He seemed ecstatic that she showed up as he stood and pulled out her seat, "You look beautiful, although, not wearing the dress I sent you?"

            "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea," she smiled as she took her seat that he'd pulled out for her; an action that Elijah would do.

        Honestly, part of the reason she kept entertaining his company is because he reminded her of Elijah. At least, in part. Everything Tristan did was not as smooth and his smile not as charming. He was like a discount Elijah and because her only desire was for that man, she craved traces of him even if it was in another man.

         "I do believe I know my bounds," Tristan proclaimed as he took his own seat.

           "Good."

          "Although, I hope I am charming enough to convince you to cross them at some point," Tristan smiled hopefully.

             Jenny swallowed as she blushed a bit before she decided to let go of the past. She was not his ghost, chained for all eternity to never move on, and she needed to stop acting like it. Plus, if a ghost is all she could be when she was with him, then Elijah deserved better. Better than her.

         So, she smiled a bit teasingly, "I suppose we'll find out."

AN: no she's not getting with Tristan just to let ya'll know but my girl is going through a self-doubt stage before she blooms bright