I'm slammed to the wall as I'm asleep, and then someone throws up. I can see why. Reckless driver who? Reckless driver you, Vaeria. I check the time. 2:36 AM. Ouch. Poor person throwing up.

But I do still just not like hearing people throw up, so I scamper away to Mae's room.

A crap ton of traumatic events happen in your life, you aren't gonna wanna speak to anyone. Even at eighteen, I still don't really want to. I think Mae is the only one who gets that. Or even understands why. So I waddle like a penguin over to Mae, who at this point is like my best friend.

I knock on the door, and I can hear her voice saying "Come in" sleepily. I feel really bad for waking her up but I come in.

"Another nightmare," she asks me.

'No, not this time' I sign to her, 'Reckless driver attacked'

Mae laughs and motions for me to sit on her bed with her. I think her bedroom was one of the other master bedrooms, and it's a bit bigger. So I do, and there's plenty of room for me. And I end up falling asleep right there.

I wake up to Vaeria.. wait... Vaeria?! Wasn't she driving?? In my face. I jump back, mortified.

'Did you watch me sleep' I sign, 'Who's driving'

"What? Wait. That's sign language. Sign it a little bit slower for me?"

Could Vaeria possibly know sign?! I am internally fangirling right now. I sign way slower than I normally do, the thing I said again.

"Wait. I know this. No, I did not watch you sleep. Mae is driving. Does that answer your questions?"

I immediately sign 'Yes' and practically jump up for joy. I'm grinning ear to ear. I didn't know that any of them other than Mae could understand me!

"Wait, really?! I'm still learning sign language, I do know a lot just can't interpret speed, but did I seriously interpret that correctly?!"

I nod excitedly.

"OH MY GOD- I'M SO HAPPY- I'M ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU!!" Vaeria squeals and hugs me tightly. I don't even mind the touching, as much as it does make my skin crawl. Someone's able to understand me!

Then I grin evilly, and sign to her, 'You are a reckless driver' slowly.

"Did you just call me a reckless driver?! You get back here-" says Vaeria.

And now she's chasing me down the stairs. I'm still surprised she understood that, but nonetheless, I'm smiling and even let out a little squeal. Once we get down the stairs, she's laughing alongside me and I'm smiling.

"Helloo- wait Vaeria aren't you driving," asks Karla.

"Yeah.. but my knees were getting tired and when one of them popped out of place I had to switch out with Mae."

"It...popped out of place?"

"Does that all the time."

I flash her an alarming look. Huh?! They pop out of place all the time? What the hell happened to her?

"Vaeria that's not normal."

"Coool."

"We're already not able to see the island anymore. Shut up and let me drive," Mae yelled.

I had already been listening, but somehow she was able to make me listen more. What sorcery is this? It almost reminds me of Kalia, which makes me feel like shit.

It's been close to 2,500 days since I last saw her, and I know she's better off, being able to speak with people she's met and having a "family" with people that could treat her so much better than Lilly and Jeff ever could. But at the same time.. she's my sister. I wish I could be with her, even if it tortures her, which is the most selfish thing I could possibly think.

She probably doesn't remember it. Not like I do, the way I wear loose turtlenecks in July to hide the marks from fighting for my and her life and so nobody could possibly look at me and look long. Or touch me. Or even know I existed.

"Hunter?"

I jolt up from my slouchy, sad position, almost falling back from Vaeria's attention call to me. I almost say something—anything, but then remember just how hard it was for me to even talk to them, and they weren't even my parents, or my enemies.

I think everyone came out here for a different reason. Vaeria's trying to balance her different abilities, Mae is trying to realize she isn't alone in the world, Archer is trying to be the gentle parent he never really had, Vea's trying to realize the world is in fact beyond their cult they grew up in, Karla's .. I don't know Karla.

But me? I think I'm trying to battle myself. Or stop fighting.

I lived in a place where all I did was fight, all I could do was fight, and nobody told me I could stop fighting. Or how to stop fighting.

But enough of that. I'm back in the real world now, the sun on my face, next to Karla, the person I don't really know. I tap their shoulder and wave. Karla waves back. I've been told they're an introvert, not really good with people. Silent, almost. Almost like me.

"Do you need me to take care of that?" Karla asks me, pointing to the wound I almost entirely forgot about.

I sign yes, hoping they'll understand.

They seem to, because they start working and bandaging my knee tightly. I almost look like Vaeria, but that makes me sad for her, knowing those knees probably have to hurt her if they pop out of place all the time. That the only way she can possibly even walk without them dislocating is to have uncomfortably tight bandages constantly on her knees, and even then they'll still have a chance.

I seem to feel guilt a lot. It's my thing, maybe. But I especially feel it for Mae. Why it's her I don't know, but she's alone. She's just got a nonverbal girl who can't even comfort her with anything but silence. She doesn't need silence. It fills up her whole life.

Vea is now near me and Karla, sitting in silence right along with us. I'm looking over at the drivers area, and it's Vaeria and Mae arguing over who should drive. Archer is there to mediate—obviously, he's Archer.

"No. I'm not letting you drive, Vaeria. Your knee popped out of place. That's very dangerous. Plus, you didn't sleep at all last night," says Mae.

She's so caring of others and nobody to care for her. It makes me sad. I walk over there, gently, quietly. I want to help.

"I can still do it, Mae. I'm not entirely fucked up in the legs."

"Well my mother said she'd be fine driving sick when she could barely fucking walk and she's not here, is she?!"

I stop cold in my tracks. Everyone does. Even the boat. Even the fucking birds. I didn't know that. I knew she was sad. I knew she was alone.

I couldn't help it, I run over and hold onto her. I didn't want anyone to be sad. I push any thought of me down, down, down.

"Mae.. I'm sorry. I didn't know that," says Vaeria.

"I shouldn't have said that in general. I guess I'm still not over it like I thought I was. I'm really, really sorry."

"You're only eighteen, Mae. You don't need to be the responsible adult all the time," says Archer.

Before I was only holding onto Mae's hand, but now I hugged her so tightly even though it made my skin crawl to touch anyone. I never noticed the feeling if someone needed me not to.

The other two have came over by now. They're confused, but know something bad happened.

"Uh. I can drive," suggests Vea, "I know how to drive one of these boats, and neither of you have to."

"That would be great. Thank you, Vea," Archer says.

Vea grins happily. I'm sure it made them happy they could help. They always seem really confused, they're relearning the entire world around them.

I really am not as confused as I thought I was. I call myself dumb all the time, and don't get me wrong, I am. But I'm observant of people, I guess. I know when they lie. I know why they do.

I guess it comes with being a couple of serial killers' kid. I told nobody my old legal name was Layla. They assume I'm an only child and just an orphan.

My sister is out there, somewhere. My parents were jailed. I hear them; my friends, talking about the Marlow crew sometimes. I really want to tell them I'm Layla, hi, it's me, surprise. But I can't even find the words to speak. And how would I tell them anyway?

It was weird, knowing what they did after they came home with prideful smiles. They never smelled of beer. Stone cold sober psychos, that's what I'd describe them as.

They'd sink their arms into me, smelling too much of blood. They'd show me their gloves. Soaked in blood. The blood of another human.

I can't even look at myself when I bleed anymore.