so_that_happened_ is the requester of the day

It was that time of year again when towns dressed in lights and put up Christmas trees in their centres so naturally, Dick asked what the plan was at the manor for their holiday. He'd been looking after Damian for a little less than a year but the kid was growing on him in his own little way. Sure he was a terror but he was Dick's terror. There'd be moments of softness, especially when he saw an animal in need of help on patrol, where he knew that he was still a kid. Plus, he'd come a long way from trying to make the acrobat human spaghetti so Dick wanted to celebrate appropriately. 

"I'm sure we can think of something," Alfred offered. Christmas was always hard when you've lost someone but sometimes they were better celebrated than forgotten about. It would probably do the butler some good to concentrate his efforts on putting up decorations and making a Christmas menu. 

"Grayson, I don't celebrate Christmas," Damian stated. 

"C'mon, for me? It's all commercial now anyway. You don't have to worry about a midnight mass or anything. Just some gift-giving and food," he insisted. "Please? For your brother?"

"You're not my brother."

"You're my brother."

"How could I be your brother if you're not mine?"

"Because I'm not a grouch who won't admit he thinks I'm his big bro. Do it as my Robin then? Favour to Bats? Please?"

"Why are you so insistent on celebrating such a stupid holiday?"

"Because it's about spending time with family-"

"Which neither of us currently has at the moment!" Damian snapped. "You're an orphan and my father is dead. My mother is who knows where. The only thing that connects us as some sort of mockery of the word family was Father who I remind you is dead and even then it was shaky because you are fostered not adopted. Drake has more claim to being my family than you." The outburst was from a place of hurt, he knew that but sometimes it got under the acrobat's skin. Kids always knew where to hit to make sure they landed a good blow on your psyche and Damian was never one to miss.

"Fine. No Christmas. You get your way, you bitesize grinch."

Then Dick got hurt and everything changed because it was at that point that Damian realised the acrobat wasn't permanent. He'd been foolish to think the man would always be there so soon after losing his father but he'd assumed it still. Perhaps because beneath it all he was still a child who naively believed that people he loved couldn't die even when there'd been prior proof. He remembered feeling sick seeing all of those wires coming out of Dick as they fought to save him. He'd saved Damian. Maybe that was the worst part. That in all his time fighting, when it came down to it, someone had taken the brunt of the blow that was rightfully his. He'd messed up the wiring on the bomb because he hadn't listened. Dick knew he messed up. He didn't know how but he did and suddenly he was being covered by the man as they ran to escape the explosion. The worst he got was a mild concussion from hitting his head on the floor when Dick was knocked over from the blast. Pieces of shrapnel had made swiss cheese out of his mentor so there he was. Being hooked to so many wires Damian couldn't even count them and fighting to live. What for? For him to wake up and be verbally assaulted by the person he'd taken in when he really didn't have to. He just did because something in Dick was missing in Damian. Some sort of goodness that Damian couldn't even dream of being born with. Something he wished to have, something he'd happily killed for. Yet when that goodness was directed at him, he attacked it until it was left wounded and bleeding. 

"Pennyworth," he called, not taking his eyes away from the doctors. The butler had arrived at the hospital not long after they had. The entire time he'd been silent, waiting for Damian to start the conversation. "I think I'd rather like for us to have a Christmas. If we're able to."

"I'm sure Master Richard will be happy to hear of this development."

"How long away is it?"

"A week. By then he should be home."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because it's him. I simply don't believe he'd allow us to spend Christmas without him, even if you insisted on not celebrating. He'll want to see your reaction to his gift."

"He got me a present? Even when I said no to celebrating?"

"He suspected you'd say no, although perhaps not to the degree you did." Damian felt sick again. Fuck that goodness that made him feel the void of his own. It wasn't fair that he had to constantly be around someone who seemed to have so much that he could spare a little. "Master Richard does care for you as he cares for all his family. Perhaps more so."

"Why?"

"You have your moments, sir. Like now." The teen hummed and wiped at his eyes before he could let the welling tears fall. 

Dick made it home on Christmas day. They almost thought that he wouldn't be able to come home in time but he'd been given the all-clear to be moved back home although he was nowhere near in the shape he'd left the Manor in. He'd need bed rest until mid-January and constant pain relief as his body recovered from the multiple stab wounds including one that had pierced his lung. He would be on oxygen until he came off bed rest and an IV of antibiotics to stave off the infections from the dirty metal that punctured him. Still, he seemed in good spirits despite how exhausted he was. Damian helped out where he could and took over when Alfred disappeared to finish the dinner, accounting for Damian's vegetarianism. 

"I wanted to apologize for what happened," the teen suddenly announced once they were alone. Dick shook his head with a frown.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he replied firmly. "Just gotta take some more wiring classes."

"I was overly confident in my abilities and I could've gotten us both killed. My behaviour has been unacceptable."

"Robin is for making mistakes," he argued back.

"I believe punishment is in order. Whatever you see fit."

"Whatever I see fit?" He nodded, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Well, unless you find sitting with me punishment then you're not getting anything." He looked up in shock. This was a major fuck up, not like the previous times when he'd disobeyed but ultimately everything worked out. He could've killed them and left Gotham defenceless. "Dami, you act like you don't care but I know you. You've been beating yourself up about this, haven't you?" He nodded hesitantly. "Then I'm not gonna add to it. We'll work on your skills later but not as a punishment. Just as a refresher." He swallowed thickly. Not receiving a punishment had been an option? Dick usually grounded him but if he thought about it for a little longer, he'd realise that he'd be grounded the same amount of time he needed rest. The lectures he received were actually constructive once Dick got a handle on himself. He'd never received any of the punishments he'd received before from his grandfather and mother.

There was a beat of silence between them as he let that sink in.

"Come here. There's enough room for both of us." Damian found himself moving before he really registered what he was doing and he felt slightly embarrassed when he found himself sitting so close to the older. He didn't really do physical contact but he couldn't be sure if that was from lack of interest or lack of experience with it. Dick on the other hand was definitely a physical contact person but he always appreciated the unsaid boundary between them. He seemed content with them just sitting together and wasn't that something? After getting hurt so badly, all the comfort he needed was someone to sit by his side. "You're a good kid," Dick commented sleepily. It was to be expected considering he'd stayed awake for the longest time since coming out of surgery but what the teen didn't expect was that. To be called good.

"I'm not," he replied, his voice growing shaky from the struck nerve. "I'm horrible. I've been horrible to you." The acrobat smiled softly, cupping his face and using his thumb to wipe away a tear he hadn't known was there. It was so terribly soft that it made Damian want to sob because what did he do? "What did I do to deserve your mercy?"

"You don't have to do anything to deserve care Dami. I know it's tough. You've been taught to work for the basics that this probably feels like a luxury," the older answered. He moved his hand to the back of the boy's neck and gently tipped his head down a little to press a kiss against his forehead. "You've got goodness in you. You're just stuck fighting."

"Fighting?"

"You've been in survival mode since you were born I suspect. Losing B, fuck it could've killed me, so I don't doubt it hurt that much for you besides you're a child Damian, you're allowed to be a dick when you feel out of control." Oh. That made sense. "I've had practice with serial pushers, kid. You can't push me away even if you wanted to at this point."

"Do you really think I'm a good kid?"

"I wouldn't let you be Robin if you weren't."

"No?"

"No. Only good kids wear my mother's nickname for me."

"You should rest Grayson."

"Promise me you won't go where I can't follow tonight. I can't lose you." Damian thinks just for a moment that he must have that goodness somewhere deep down because he agrees despite not wanting to stay in. "Thanks. Merry Christmas Dami."

"Merry Christmas Grayson. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For you."