WhySwingSet
Reviewer: @loveeboat
Genre: Teen Fiction

Summary/ Excerpt:

Guys can't get depressed.. how everyone always seems to assume. But after a failed suicide attempt, Wyatt is under strict watchful eyes until he meets a girl named Sofia who changes his point of view about everything.

***DISCLAIMER***

This story is not intended to promote or glorify suicide. Suicide is a serious issue and if any of you have suicidal thoughts, reach out to someone whether it be a friend, relative, or one of the many suicide prevention lines. DM me if you need to talk, I'll try to help the best I can. Stay strong, it gets better one day.

Cover: I love your cover. Literally everything about is is so nice. I like how you incorporated the font design with the paint splatters on the brick background and the placement of your name isn't overbearing or too in the way of your title. The couple in the bottom fit with the placement of everything too. Great job! 10/10

Description: There are some grammatical mistakes with the description, specifically your order of words in the first sentence. Instead of saying, "Guys can't get depressed.. how everyone always seems to assume," you could say, "Guys can't get depressed...at least that's how everyone seems to assume." Something along those lines. It could also use a little more elaboration, somewhat of a teaser for what's in store for the readers. Other than that, it's all good. 8/10

Content: I like the entire concept of your plot for your story. I just think the execution could be a little better. When you write you tell but don't show. When I say this I mean that there isn't much descriptive detail. You are writing about a suicidal boy, so you should jump into the mind of a person that must deal with their mental illness. How do they think? What thoughts go through their head? You touch on this briefly, but I think it would be more beneficial if you be a little more descriptive. For example, in the beginning, I did not know what was going on until I read about the nurse coming into the room. I had no idea what your character was doing or what the situation was because the details were cut short or all over the place. I think his interaction with Sofia was a little too forced. In real life, someone who is depressed and having dangerous thoughts won't jump and become so comfortable with a person they just met like that, at least from my experiences. I did get a Thirteen Reasons Why vibe from your story. It wasn't from the actual plot, but the overall message was the same so I liked that. Also, there were grammatical mistakes which are understandable. Just go back and tweak those so everything flows properly. The flow of your story was okay, but you have to work on a few things to make it perfect. 6/10

Next Steps: Proofread for the grammatical mistakes and add more descriptive detail. (SHOW NOT TELL)