Stars_seem_small
Reviewer: @loveeboat

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Summary/ Excerpt:

[NEWS EXERPT]

The East Coast settlement, more commonly known as the Underground,  is slowly crumbling due to a disease killing children and angry parents demanding answers. The cause of this disease is unknown, and we don't yet know if this is an effect of a corrupt government. Stand by for more updates.

[END OF EXERPT]

Ever since their parents died in a small flare-up of disease, Brynn and her twin brother, Grayson, have been living on the streets, surviving in any way they can. When the two are caught stealing, they are faced with a choice, imprisonment or a dangerous mission to save the lives of countless children in the Underground, a city built under the earth to help humanity survive a nuclear war.

As they begin to train for this mission, they realize that there is a lot more to the Underground than what they see on the news, and that their failure means the death of thousands, including themselves.

Cover: Personally, I am not a huge fan of your cover. I understand how it relates to your story and I do like the fact that it corresponds to your description. The problem is the placement of things. The two people on the top look like they were randomly placed there but at the same time it matches everything well. I honestly don't know how I feel about your cover. If I was in a book store, would I open up your story to read? Sure, but I wouldn't approach the book excitedly. It is not bad per-say, but I think it needs a little for TLC. 7/10

Description: I liked your description a lot. The one thing I felt kind of icky about was the fact that you said you suck at writing a description in your own description. I used to do this too, until I realized it was just self deprecating and turned my readers off. I think you should remove that little line. It instills doubt into the readers minds when they first read you book description. Your cover and your description are your main selling points for your story. The fact that you said that your description is bad just suggests that your writing may be bad too, even if you state that your actual writing is better inside your story. Your description has substance and it is written fairly well. I was intrigued by it immensely. I don't think stating that you can't write descriptions changes the fact that it was written nicely. 8.5/10

Content: The one thing I try to write with a lot or at least attempt to write with is description. I find stories that share the littlest details about characters or the setting the most interesting. I can feel and imagine myself in the characters shoes or in their situation. You seem to do this well and I liked the fact that you did not use description to an excessive amount. Even the tone you write with suggests that this is a mystery which I appreciate. I think you have great diction too and you don't repeat the same words multiple times when proving a point or describing something. I enjoyed the chapters I read! 8.5/10

Next Steps: Proofread your work and have more confidence in it! I think you will go very far.