@WrittenByBritt
Reviewer: StoryWritersNeverLie

Genre: Action

Summary -

Madison Underwood was your average teenager- Two supportive parents, good grades and friends. That all is changed after she meets Eric Whitehouse, Parkshire High's cutest "senior". Eric fascinates Madison with his charm until he shares a few of the many skeletons in his closet. Madison soon finds herself trapped in a cult of sex, abuse and confinement.

Will the people who love her fight for her return? Will Madison have the courage to fight for her once perfect life back...or Will she be forced surrender to a life of enslavement and misery?

Cover - 4/10

The cover is much simpler than what the story seems to be about and while the darkness to it shows that this isn't a happy story, it wouldn't draw me into it as a reader looking for something. While the orange adds something different to it, the words itself are faint and off centered.

Description - 6/10

While the summary isn't bad it leaves more to desire and wouldn't really pull in a lot of readers. By telling us what is going to happen in the story takes out the mystery and the guessing to it.

Content - 5/10

Alright, so for the story itself.

I'll start off first with the more easier stuff, grammar/details/descriptions. These are the main things that I had noticed in the story along with character personalities and how it was paced.

Grammar, can be and will always be a tricky thing. First story or twenty-third story, it has a way of messing with you. Now, I noticed that you missed a lot of place where a comma or a period should be, mostly in dialogues. Now, because I've seen you put them in other places I believe that you know when or where they go but that's assuming and I shouldn't assume.

When using dialog (example: "What's up?") you'll see that adding a mark at the end and before narrative that it helps the reader know the tone. Like the example, it came out as a question but let's change it: "What's up!" or "What's up" Adding an (!) at the end tells the reader that these two words are louder, more or less, but leaving it empty doesn't tell the reader how the tone is to the words. But let's add, a narrative to it: "What's up!" She asked. Wow, so not the best example but it helps. We know the tone and that it was a question without the question-mark.

Details and Descriptions go hand in hand but it's easy to have one without the other or to have neither. There can also be too much details/descriptions and too little details/descriptions. While you add some there is a lot that is being let out. What does her bedroom look like? Is she different looking from her mother? Her siblings? By describing how they look more then just colors, and I mean really look, is the hair wavy? The eyes large? Or too small? Are they heavy weight? Underweight? It helps. And details about what is happening around them, not just to them. Did someone bump into them? Are the halls in the school too crowded? Do they listen to music during breakfast?

The main personality that I noticed staying the same was Eric's. While a character can (or will) change throughout a book, making sure to keep it the same in the first two chapters is important as it gives the reader time to see what makes them, well them. We're told that Madison is one way yet we find that she acts against the personality that we're being told.

The pacing was in the middle of fast and slow, but leaned more towards fast. Because things can happen like this, it's understandable why it feels like it happened in only two or three days but making things appear faster then it is doesn't always pull a reader in. But the pacing kept even in the book, which is good. The chapters read the same and felt the same. So it's a really good balance that you have there.

Now, the above doesn't mean it's a bad or even trouble story. It does have a lot of potential for it.

Next Steps -

For the next steps I would suggest using a writing tool (ie grammarly or another); A slow pace for each chapter; added details;