@imatpot

Reviewer: kyrrai

Summary/Excerpt:

"The adventures inside you make you a hero, and the battles make you a warrior."

When the darker parts of you awaken, dark matter is drawn towards you from your surroundings. The swamp of despair can then easily overpower you, trapping you in place, especially when caught alone.

This danger that lies within each individual, feed upon our deepest fears.

Its symptoms are, however, subtle or hardly observable at all. A hurricane could rip through your entire world and not the slightest frown or glint of a tear would surface.

This book is an achronological arrangement of glimpses into the lives of four girls.

These accounts are re-ordered with the intention to avoid misleading readers with single snapshots of the 'before' or the 'after'.

As a result, chapters can also be read out of order.

Cover - 8/10

Your cover is very nice and simple. I feel that it matches your story pretty well as they seem to be focused on the friendship and everyday lives of the four girls in your story. There's nothing I would really suggest changing about your cover other than perhaps making the title font a bit bigger.

Description - 7/10

I felt the description had some very nice ideas in it. I especially liked the dark matter line and the quote you put in the beginning of it. I felt that the spacing of it made me not want to read it as much and made it appear less connected than it actually was. I also felt you could give us more insight into who the story follows and why. The only true indicator of what the story was going to be about was the third to last line. The rest seemed like it was purely exposition so I think you should try to connect those ideas more.

Content - 7/10

So far from what I'm reading, I really enjoy the themes and the everyday (very relatable struggles) of the girls. It's not confusing at all and reads well, but I felt there were places you could be much more visual about your writing. For example, when you first describe Zoe, you do describe her, but I can't visualize anything. Maybe I'm just a visual reader, but I love when a story has enough description where it can give you an image in your mind as you read. Another example, In the chapter "Another," you could describe the deserted road more. It would make the read more immersive for the viewer, and help improve your style as well. But overall, I really enjoyed the themes you touch upon and I love that you don't need to read this in a chronological order. It makes the story much more unique to me.

Conclusion

Try to incorporate more description in your writing. I think it will really help you grow more as a writer and make the story more immersive. Other than that, keep writing! The themes you explore are very relatable and the emotions you portray are beautifully done. Hope this helps you!