nobodywritesstuff

Reviewer: ReeWritesBooks
Genre: Fantasy

Cover: 4/10.

The color scheme is really nice, but I'm not a fan of how the words are laid out and how many of the letters are covered by the weapon. The idea is interesting, but the execution falls short. The same exact color scheme with the blade underneath or above the title would work just fine. The blade being over the letters is more distracting than appealing. If this was in a bookstore and readers didn't have the title right next to the cover, they may have a hard time figuring out the name of the book.

Description: 0/10

Grammatical errors and unclear wording aside, the actual blurb part of the description is really short and doesn't tell me much about the story. What does Serenity do? Are there any other key players in the guild? Why do I care about Serenity's journey? What are the stakes? You don't answer any of these questions. I probably wouldn't open this in a book store. And, personally, I don't feel as though the description is the place for author's notes and trigger warnings.

Content: 2/10

Title: 2/10. The book is called A Slayer's Respite. Respite means brief rest or relief. Based on the blurb, it doesn't sound like Serenity will be getting either of those things, as they now have a target on their back. The title and blurb contradict each other.

Characters: 3/10. Serenity is an interesting character. However, you put a lot of minority labels on them. POC, agender, disabled, and pansexual? It feels like you're just ticking off boxes for representation, which is sure to make a lot of people groan. Making the most marginalized character you can create doesn't make for a good story. In fact, it may make it harder to make a good story. That said, I do like the fact that they're nonbinary. You don't see enough people who are neither boys or girls in fiction. Serenity has a good personality, and the other characters feel somewhat alive too.

Spelling/grammar/syntax: 3/10. Your story needs work in this area. I would suggest learning more about dialogue tags and proper sentence structure in general. At one point, you use parentheses to include information, and you should try to avoid that in fiction. Work on proper punctuation and sentence variation. Your writing can also be a bit overwhelming at times. Remember that flowy, descriptive sentences don't necessarily equal better writing.

Immersion time: 0/10. First paragraph broke the immersion for me. The wording in the first two sentences is a little weird and required me to read them twice.

Next steps:

I would suggest taking some time to tighten up your grasp on the English language and things like punctuation. Your sentences are sometimes unclear. Go through Wattpad, Amazon, or the aisles of your favorite bookstore and read all the blurbs to get a sense of how to craft them. Work on getting a better cover, and tone down the representation points given to the MC. Your idea isn't bad, but this needs a lot of work. Good luck with your story.