"So, let me get this straight. Neither of your parents are magical but your grandparents from your mothers side were and then you're magical?" I ask.

Kenny nods.

"Is that even possible?! I mean, I've heard legends but even mother, who is a Squib by the way, had dad's magic to make me. I have NEVER heard of a kid that had magic while having a Squib and muggle for a parent! There is no actual way, maybe your dads parent was magical, you wouldn't know if she or he could hide it!" I say.

"My little sister is magical as well and to answer, my grandparents met in school when they were 13. It would be quite surprising that granny was magical," he says.

"Magical? Your sister? Holy shit! Literally, I've read like, kids stories. I have never heard of an actual magic child happening that way," I say.

"Token and Bebe were about as surprised, let me tell you, but they excused it as me being a mudblood or whatever it was but then I told them and they were confused as all hell," he says.

I point my wand at him at the m word.

"Never ever use that word or we are in big trouble with each other," I say.

"I didn't remember the word Bebe told me to use," he says.

"Muggleborn, that's the word. I'm pretty sure the other word might summon Cartman," I say.

"What? Who?" Kenny asks.

"Oh you haven't had the displeasure of meeting him yet? Well, Eric Cartman is pretty much the spawn of Salazar Slytherin himself. I mean technically it's a small blood connection but he won't let you live if you forget it. His father is, I'm pretty sure, almost Satan, no, Satan is so much better. His father is one of, if not the most, loyal evil wizard around. Utterly loyal to the most terrifying witch and wizard of all time. His mother is too scared of him to fix Eric, so, Eric is quite frankly the scariest child around," I say.

"What? Why?" Kenny asks.

"I had the displeasure of meeting him and accidentally hitting him in the face. Then he learned about my mother being a Squib, very against Squibs kids you see, as he very kindly pointed out by trying to beat me up. Had a dude like 5 times his size, which is nothing considering how short he is, hold me down. I think i still have that scar," I say.

"That's assault in it's finest," Kenny says.

"Wait. What was that?" I ask.

"Assault. You know being beaten up like that counts as assault. Right?" Kenny asks.

"What's assault?" I ask.

Kenny honestly falls off of the seat.

"You-you don't know what assault is?" He asks.

"Am I supposed to? Seems like an awful word!" I say.

"Did you not take consent classes? Anything?" He asks.

"Homeschooled. And that's maths and stuff like that, I have never heard of the word assault," I say.

"HOW THE HELL? Isn't it illegal here?" Kenny asks.

"My dad works in the ministry. If something was illegal, I'd know, I can tell you that," I say.

"Hey! Stan!" Kenny yells.

Stan jumps, falling on the floor.

"Sorry, I'm bad at sleeping at night so I do during the day. Um. What was it again?" He asks.

"Kyle doesn't know what assault is," Kenny says.

"Do wizards not ever sue each other for assault?" Stan asks.

"WHAT DOES THE WORD MEAN?" I ask.

"You're such a dumb culture," Stan says.

"You're apart of the culture!" I say.

"Assault is when someone either attacks you without giving you a chance to defend yourself or when someone does something you do not approve of with you," Kenny says.

"That's illegal?" I ask.

"Yes!" Stan says.

"Is that even a question?" Kenny asks.

"To be honest, we never really needed it. And if someone threatened to take it up to the ministry, their memories would be wiped quicker than you can say even the word assault," I say.

Kenny looks at me, interested.

"Is it dark magic then?" He asks.

"No! Not at all. Advanced but not dark. It's all about wiping muggles memories after they see too much," I say.

"What kind of a punishment is there for wiping someone's memory?" Kenny asks.

"None, I don't think there is any at least," I say.

"Did I hear that right? You get nothing for possibly destroying someone's life?" Stan asks.

"When you put it that way," I say.

"What the fuck is WRONG with you people? Seriously. At least tell me you have taken some kind of consent classes or sex Ed or something alike," Kenny says.

"Sex Ed? Who is this Ed and why does he get known as the 'Sex Ed'?" I ask.

"HOW HIGH ARE THE TEEN PREGNANCY RATES HERE? Holy fuck!" Stan asks.

"From Hogwarts? None," I say.

"Say that again?" Kenny asks.

"None are from Hogwarts," I say.

"How?" Stan asks.

I laugh.

"Magic," I say.

"Is that going to be your answer when you go into the muggle world and don't know shit?" Stan asks.

"Oh dear Godric no. Muggles, unless related to Witches or Wizards, such as yourself, should never hear about magic. NEVER. That's why we have the muggle protection side of the ministry, so idiots who turn cats into teapots don't get us caught," I say.

"Turn Cats into teapots...? Doesn't that mean the cats die before and come back to live after?" Stan asks.

"I don't honestly know. There was this one case my grandpa tells me about. A wizard made a muggle take some kind of hallucination thing. The muggle, who thought it was their own thing, took it, proceeded to see himself as an orange and cut himself to death, so, we've done weirder shit," I say.

The train slowly starts stopping.

"It was really nice to meet you, Kenny," I say.

"It was nice to meet you too," Kenny says.

I nod.

"Well. It was a nice time but come on, Stan, we have to go," I say.

Token and a girl walk into the compartment, amongst... Wendy I think is her name... that is it! Wendy!

"Let's go, Ken," the girl says.

Stan and I leave out of the compartment to give them piece.