I keep my eyes off by the side.

"Wow."

I turn my head to the boy Bebe and Token are friends with before looking up.

"The ceiling is enchanted to show that," I say.

His eyes are shining.

"I love stars," he says.

"Nerd," I mutter.

"Who recognises a name first?" He asks.

"Deal!" I say.

"Black, Token."

"Fucking Token," he mutters.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Broflovski, Kyle!"

"I won," the boy says... his name was Kenny I think.

There is a long while of silence, until.

"If you put me there, I will not hesitate to shove you up an ass while ripping you apart," Kyle says.

There is a second of silence.

"Oh I will. You don't want to test me!" Kyle says.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Kyle, very happy with himself, thanks the hat and leaves off to the Ravenclaw table.

"Eric Cartman."

There is a certain silence at that.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Daniels, Nichole!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Darson, Sally."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Donovan, Clyde!"

There is a very long moment of silence before finally,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

He seems incredibly surprised, shaking his head violently.

"Not the right one," he states.

One of the professors has to usher him to join the Gryffindor table... poor thing.

"Hakeem, Baahir!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Gary Harrison!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Oh, he looks cool," I say.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Wait. Who was she?" I ask.

"Nelly something. Didn't quite catch her last name," Kenny says.

"Larsen, Millie!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Marsh, Stan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Hey, he went where he wanted!" Kenny says.

"Aren't you next?" I ask.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Who went into Ravenclaw?" I ask.

"Mandy something," Kenny answers.

"Nelson, Annie!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Nelson, Beth!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Nelson, Tammy."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Nelson, Patty!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Is everyone each other's cousin or something?" Kenny asks.

"If they're pureblood," I say.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Oh not again. Who was it this time?" I ask.

"Annie. A pretty ginger," Kenny says.

I nod.

"But you seriously need to start paying attention-," Kenny says.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"That time was your fault you fuck!" I say.

"Esther, her name was Esther," Kenny says.

"How do you hear-?" I ask.

"I can actually hear something because I fucking focus!" Kenny says.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"I keep missing them!" I say.

"Lizzy, that one was called Lizzy," Kenny says.

"Wait. Weren't you supposed to go already?" I ask.

Kenny shrugs.

"Pinkerton-Tinfurter, Kelly!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Ridley, Meagan."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Seems like a pretty nice girl, hopefully Stan makes friends," Kenny says.

I nod at him.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Who?" I ask.

"Isla was her name," Kenny says.

"Rodriguez, David."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Rodriguez, Jessie."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Rutherford-Menskin, Kelly."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Ryland, Monica."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"You definitely should have gone by now," I say.

He nods, fiddling with his thumbs.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"I'M STARTING TO GET PISSED!" I say.

"Emily, her name was Emily. Although a couple of kids went that I didn't quite catch," Kenny says.

"Why the fuck can't I pay attention?" I ask.

"Don't worry," he says.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"That one was called Jessie, before you ask," he says.

"Simons, Jenny!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Stevens, Bebe."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Stoley, Kevin."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"That kid looks pretty cool," Kenny says.

"SHUT UP YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS NAMES!" I yell.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"And that one was Ashley," Kenny says.

"Stotch, Leopold."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Oh shit I'm soon," I say.

"Don't worry," Kenny says.

I smile at him.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Theresa. Theresa was her name," Kenny says.

I nod, taking a deep breath.

"So it's probably me after the next one," I say.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"She was Lola," Kenny says.

"Why am I not able to focus on there names?" I ask.

"The last names are pretty complicated," he says.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Who was she?" I ask.

"Did my mind cut it off? Kal from what I heard. That's not a name... right?" He asks.

"I'm pretty sure anything is a name if you just think about it that way," I say.

"-, Shauna!"

"Got one! I got her name!" I say.

"Oh congratulations, you got one name," he says.

"Shut up," I say.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Testaburger, Wendy!"

I get up, put the hat on and wait.

"Oh. A seek for knowledge but also a quite cunning personality. You're not afraid to hurt anyone if you have your eye set on something but are kind enough to consider other. I see you as Slytherin."

I get up and go to the table.

"Craig Tucker!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Turner, Heidi!"

There is a long silence as she stares down, she looks seriously hurt by the words.

"SLYTHERIN!"

As she gets down to us, I make space and tap the space next to me. She, greatfully, sits next to me.

"What did it say? You looked so sad!" I say.

"He said I might be a dark person, which I don't like. I don't want to be a dark person, life is too short," she says.

"Hey. Even if it is, nobody is saying you are a bad person," I say.

"Turner, Sally!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

I can't help almost falling asleep after the long day.

"Tweak, Tweek!"

The ridiculous name wakes me up. Holy fuck, someone had bad luck.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Oh so he is still kind somehow with that name, wow, he's a very good then, I can appreciate that.

After a long list more, the professor coughs.

"Apologies, Kenneth. I may or may not have skipped you over."

All around the hall, people laugh.

"Quite fine, professor. Could I just get sorted?" Kenny asks.

He sits down, although he falls off of the stool.

"Sorry?" He asks, sitting on the floor.

He is on for a minute, leaning against the stool.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

He smiles and jumps up, giving the hat back to the professor before pretty much jumping between Bebe and Lola, immediately telling some joke because Lola is quickly bend over with laughter.

"Did we miss anyone else?" The headmaster asks, clearly amused by the whole situation.

Everyone shakes their heads.

"Alright then, I'm proud to say that this is the most kids we've had in 12 years, at least on the same year. And 12 years ago had the rise of the child support for wizards. I remember quite well," he says.

There are a couple of snickers around.

"Let this beginning, I will making my speech right after."