Don't Blame Me Blame the Affluenza

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History club was meeting with its typical measly batch of three members. Charlie, Andreis and whoever the fuck the other kid that always showed up was, sat in three uncomfortable little chairs as mister Keeley gave them some lecture about Trajan. Honestly, Andreis wasn't listening to a word, completely zoning out as Raymond Keeley continued to blabber on. Damn the White Rose club's 'at least one activity rule'. However there was currently no way Andreis planned on breaking any of the club's rules, especially now that disobeying them might end up being a death sentence. He didn't want to end up like Jacob or Norman. Mister Keeley passed them out little packets now.

"Here you go boys! I made these for you to look at over during Thanksgiving break!" Andreis stared down at the packet. Mister Keeley had made them each little booklets about some random, obscure moments in history. He had used about as much skill, effort, and most likely time to make them as a grandma who's hobby was scrap making. Charlie flipped through his, grinning ear to ear.

"Gee, thanks Mister Keeley! This is so cool! How did you know that I was just getting into Karl Marx? You're the best!" Mister Keeley clapped his hands excitedly.

"I am so very glad you like it mister Hawkins!" Andreis flipped through his now, arching a brow.

"Leopold and Loeb?" Mister Keeley smiled, bouncing excitedly.

"I thought you might think the investigation into them was interesting."

"Who even were they?"

"They committed the murder which has been characterized at the time as the crime of the century! They believed that they had intellectual superiority, which, they thought, rendered them capable of carrying out a perfect crime!" Andreis tucked the packet under his arm, confident that he never planned to open Raymond Keeley's handmade booklet again. Andreis suddenly caught sight of Robert and Fitz standing in the hallway outside of the open door. They were waiting there, and Andreis presumed they were there to collect him. He turned to mister Keeley.

"Thank you for the book, I really appreciate it. My friends are here now though so...you have a nice Thanksgiving vacation mister Keeley." He dashed out into the hall and almost immediately upon his stepping out Robert grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into an empty classroom. Fitz stood closely behind them and shut the door when they entered.

"What's going on?" Andreis stammered, confused.

"Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving break?" Robert asked, arms crossed.

"Yeah, of course. It's fricken Thanksgiving."

"Cancel them." Andreis's mouth hung open.

"Wha-...Robert are you nuts? I can't just cancel my plans, my family is expecting me. They're picking me up tomorrow."

"Listen Andreis," Fitz said stepping forward. "If you don't cancel your plans and do what we say then the next Thanksgiving meal you have will probably be in a prison cell." Andreis's eyes widened.

"What are...what are you talking about?" Fitz sighed heavily.

"Bentlee wants to go to the police. He's wanted to for nearly a month." Fitz's words turned Andreis's stomach to ice water.

"W-what? Why didn't he turn us in yet, why did he wait?"

"He doesn't know that we know," Robert said now. " He told Eric what he planned to do and Eric was able to convince him that it was best for us all to turn ourselves in together. He told him he could convince us, just to give him time. Eric suggested to Bentlee that we should all go on a trip together over break so he would have time to have a serious sit down and meet with everyone separately to get them to 'do the right thing'. Despite the fact that he wants to turn himself in Bentlee's Still in no serious rush to spend the rest of his life in jail so he agreed." Andreis was shaking now, his throat was dry and his stomach felt like it was twisting to knots.

"Why didn't you all just kill him the night he told Eric what he planned to do?"

"We Couldn't risk it," Robert said. "A murder and a disappearance on school grounds is cutting it close enough, a third one all from our friend group would be way too suspicious. That's why we're going to kill Bentlee during the trip. My dad owns a private hunting lodge in the mountains. It's really nice there and no one in my family even goes there until mid winter to ski anyways." A tight smile appeared on Robert's face now and he moved forward, giving Andreis a small pat on the back. "Now, I just need you to do one teensy weensy thing for me pal. You're going to take out that phone of your, call your mom, and then tell her that you're sorry but you can't make it to Thanksgiving dinner."

------

Robert had been hospitable enough to lend the White Rose boys his father's private plane to take them to the Reed's hunting lodge. Robert, Kian and Fitz sat in one corner and appeared to be unironically watching the Bee movie on Robert's laptop. Eric sat silently near the back reading The Count of Monte Cristo and Andreis who sat beside him had fallen asleep, one earbud dangling from his ear. Bentlee was alone, his face pressed against the window, staring out at the passing clouds. Robert's phone suddenly buzzed and he perked up, grabbing for it.

"Ooooh, breaking news notification, let's go." He glanced at it. "Guys guess what. There was a new Wakefield ripper murder."

"Who cares," Bentlee mumbled softly from his seat. Robert scoffed at that.

"Who cares? Are you freaking serious dude? It's the Wakefield fucking ripper. This will probably be all over the news tonight. It's exciting, it's like our own area is getting famous. Buzzfeed even put out a 'top ten things you should know about the Wakefield ripper investigation'.

"And when he gets caught everyone's just going to forget about him," Bentlee snapped back. Robert rolled his eyes.

"Did people forget about Ted Bundy or Charlie Mason?"

"Jesus," Kian muttered from his seat. "The fuck is with you and Ted Bundy?"

"Maybe we should have done something to the bodies," Fitz said suddenly. "We could have mangled them in some way or done some trademark like the Wakefield ripper. Then maybe we would have a prime spot next to him on the news." Robert shook his head.

"Nah, I'm glad we covered it as well as we did. Self preservation is our ultimate goal and it's way harder to find a murderer you don't know exists."

"If we ever did get caught though," Fitz said, leaning back against his seat. "I bet people would be obsessed with us. I mean, rich handsome boys killing people...there would probably be a show about us out on the CW within two years."

"I would want someone really famous to play me," Robert said. "Like hmm..Adam Lambert!"

"Adam Lambert is a singer not and actor. He would make you just come off as two dimensional," Fitz said with a snort. "I would want George Clooney to play me." Robert laughed.

"George Clooney has way better things to be doing then plaing you in a CW show. Besides, the man's 56 and looks nothing like you! Why the hell would you think that would work!"

"They could use CGI or makeup or something-"

"Fitz, I love you man but you're a freaking dumbass." Kian rolled his eyes now.

"I can not believe you two are seriously arguing over this."

"Maybe a biography," Robert said suddenly. "I would do that thing where like...I grant only one person the rights to my story."

"Even if you did get famous, they would still probably execute you," Kian mumbled. Robert laughed.

"I'm not afraid of death. If someone was going to kill me I would die like a man! No tears!"

"Dead or alive," Fitz said, scooting forward in his seat, "we would be freaking icons!" Robert snickered.

"We would be terrible icons so it's lucky for the world none of us are going to get caught. Right guys?" There were nods of agreement from everyone except Bentlee who continued to stare blankly out the window. Fitz tapped Robert's shoulder suddenly.

"Hey look Andreis fell asleep on Eric's shoulder!" Robert grinned.

"If I wasn't always so pissed off about how Eric gives him special attention I would think it's kinda cute." Fitz laughed,

"We should draw a mustache or a dick on his face." Eric looked up from his book now, giving them a blank stare. Fitz swallowed hard. "Haha, never mind." Robert moved to turn the Bee movie back on and when his hand reached forward Fitz's gaze fell back to Robert's laptop.

"Oh shit man, your laptop's broken." Robert grimaced, furrowing his brow.

"Are you serious? This is brand new." Fitz nodded, pointing to it.

"I don't know how none of us noticed this but the escape key is missing." Robert glanced at it now.

"There's no escape key. Well shit, at least that's an easy fix. I don't know though, I guess if I'm too lazy to bring someone in to fix it I'll just buy a brand new one." He unpaused the movie and the Bee movie started back up again. Fitz leaned forward quickly,

"Oh hell yes! This is my favorite part!" On the screen the bee appeared to be suing the entirety of the human race. Kian slammed his head back against his seat groaning loudly.

"Are you freaking KIDDING me guys? Why are you so into this shitty ass film!? I seriously don't know how Andreis is sleeping through this." Robert stuck his tongue out at him.

"Shut up, you're just jealous you didn't come up with such a genius and original idea."

"I am NOT!" The boys bickering back and forth and joking with each other seemed so normal so...average. Well, minus the fact that they were in a private plane and had murdered two going on three of their own friends. 

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