*HEY GUYS I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THE LAST CHAPTER. I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE READS, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THANK YOU :) AND THANKS FOR THE MANY VOTES AS WELL! ANYHOW I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THAT THIS CHAPTER MY HIT STRAIGHT TO THE FEELS. AND I DON’T MEAN THAT IN AN ELATED AND FUN WAY. JUST KNOW THAT WHEN READING THIS JUST LOOK CLOSE INTO THE MEANING. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A CLUE THEN DON’T WORRY I WILL SEE YOU AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER KAY? ALL RIGHT AND IF ANY ARE OFFENDED AND HAVING THIS PROBLEM I’M SORRY. BUT JUST KNOW THAT I CARE FOR THOSE STRUGGLING.*

Chapter 29

I woke up in the laboratory, on a bed, in a white shirt and white sweat pants, just like the first night I came here. I sat up but immediately regret ever doing so. I winced as there was a pain all around my torso. I raised up my shirt slightly and saw bandages around my stomach. My arms were covered in patches and I could feel a bandage around my right ankle. I didn’t bother checking where any other bandages were so I just focused on trying to get up. I managed to swing myself over the edge of the bed and carefully slip off.

I groan slightly and shuffle over to the door. I open it and start walking through the halls to head downstairs. On the way over I clung to walls from sudden feelings of dizziness. Once I finally made it downstairs I headed for the kitchen. Only Jack, Ben and Smile were in the room, all of them eating breakfast. Jack and Ben looked up at me while Smile kept chowing down on waffles in his doggy bowl. It was quiet but I didn’t care for it. I was in too much pain to care so I headed for the fridge and grabbed some stuff for cereal.

I poured my cereal and sat at the breakfast table. I could feel Jack and Ben’s eyes still watching me. I looked up at them and gave them a look that meant for them to tell me what’s on their minds. They looked at each other and then suddenly Ben threw up confetti from under the table. I jumped up in my seat and stared at him. “Congratulations!” Ben cheered. Jack laughed and I heard Smile bark. “What?” I said, confused. Jack chuckled and said, “You did good yesterday. Slender’s proud of you and so are we.”

“We knew you’d pull through,” Ben chimed. I was hesitant but I smiled. “Thanks guys,” I said. They nodded and Jack finally noticed that Ben got confetti on his waffles. He reached over, slapped Ben across the face and said, “Don’t use so much confetti next time, you idiot! Now I can’t eat my damn waffles!” Ben mocked him and kept eating his own confetti covered waffles. I gave him a weird look but just kept eating my cereal. After I was done I went into the living room where Sally was playing with her toys. She smiled up at me, said good morning and then went back to playing with her toys. I smiled at how cute she was and sat on the couch.

I turned on the TV and watched a couple of shows. Masky and Hoodie woke up a few minutes after and came down stairs. They sat with me and complimented me on the fight yesterday. Speaking of the fight…what happened to Jeff? Is he all right? I hope so. If not then I never meant to hurt him too much. But I had to take it seriously. As much as it pained me to hurt Jeff I had to win if I was going to be able to come to my full potential as the proxy. I hope Jeff understands that and forgives me for hurting him. I never want to hurt anybody no matter what. Proxy or not I don’t want to be the reason for any harm to anybody. Especially people I care about.

I kept watching TV until I got bored of it and decided to walk off my aches and pains. It didn’t do much good though and the pain stayed. I went back up the stairs and went into my room. My phone was on my nightstand and I turned it on. I had a lot of messages, all from either Addie or Johanna. I want to talk with them desperately. I want to hear Johanna’s calming and assuring voice. I want to hear Addie’s silly jokes and her occasional made up words. I want to see them again and hang out like old times. They were the ones that helped me on my feet when it seemed my whole world around me was falling apart. I still remember it all…it’s vivid to me because it was the worst point in my young and helpless life.

~Memory flashback~

 I was the new kid at middle school. I’ve been a shy person since the day I was born. You could guess I was the loner, new kid who had no idea what to do the first couple of days. It was sixth grade and I was only eleven, and even then was I short. I was small and harmless to others. Everyone stared at me the first day. I felt paranoid and my social anxiety kicked in that day. I was nervous every second and I felt like I would’ve panicked at any minute because at that age I still had that problem.

I had no friends yet and it was nerve racking to have to know nobody. The only time I talked was when teachers would ask me questions and I’d answer immediately. I was still intelligent and could answer every question the teachers had given me. They would smile every time I got it right and I felt happy inside. I’d always look back at the students in my classes and see that they weren’t too happy as I was. They gave me looks and eventually I got the title as ‘teacher’s pet’. Everyone called me that over the next couple of weeks. I didn’t mind it but I didn’t like it either.

As soon as kids got to call me by a name they teased me. They called me a vampire because of my pale skin. My hair was always in my eyes so they called me emo as well. The way I dressed wasn’t fashionable but neither grungy but I guess middle school fashion logic is different and so my dress fashion was labeled as poor, grody and stupid. I only wore simple skinny jeans, a shirt, a sweater and flats. My mom thought I looked cute in it but I guess the definition of cute was to wear slightly exposing clothing. But I never changed my look no matter how many insults I got over it.

Eventually the name-calling got worse and I was labeled as an attention seeker because of my friendliness with all of my teachers and most adults in the middle school. If anything my quietness and shy demeanor shouldn’t attract much attention at all. I’m only being polite. And after many other insulting names I finally met the three girls that made my life hell. Maddy, Stephanie and Clare. They became my everyday bully. They always insulted my looks, my height, my whole personality. One day there was a school event and I got too nervous that I panicked in front of everyone. Staff had to take me to the nurse to calm down. The next day people screamed in pain, mocking my outburst and they’d laugh afterwards. I didn’t mean to panic. It happens and if I don’t have my remedies I can’t control it.

Kids thought I was mental. They thought I was some crazy chick who can’t control herself. I wasn’t mental. I just have some problems. Actually I’m not even sure if my problem should be labeled as a mental condition. I was named-called and insulted for who I was. Lunchtime was horrific. They called me fat even though I wasn’t. They said I shouldn’t eat. They bothered me too much that I just couldn’t take a bite of my food. Everyone kept doing this, mostly Maddy and her two friends. They bothered me too much that I didn’t eat and eventually I was convinced that they were kind of right. I shouldn’t eat. I said before that I didn’t eat because the school food sucked. Well, that was partly a lie. I didn’t eat because…I shouldn’t.

I became more tired and weak from starvation. Unfortunately my not eating got to home and I’d skip out on dinner with my parents. I felt smaller because of it and no matter how desperately I wanted to eat I couldn’t…because I shouldn’t.

Eventually the hate got worse and Maddy and her friends convinced everyone that I shouldn’t be at this school…or even alive. After that I never went a day without getting told to die or to kill myself. They did this so much that at times I actually considered leaving forever. It was just too much. Teachers somehow found out and all of my teachers discussed the matter in all of my classes. Of course, kids thought that I told them and they bullied me more for it. People said that no one likes me and that no one will ever help me. I actually believed that because things kept getting worse. Around the time in middle school my mom and dad talked about social networks with me. Because of my life in school I never, ever got a Facebook, or Tumblr, or a Twitter. I got nothing. I became an introvert. I got none of those things because I was afraid the bulling would follow me on whatever social network I had.

I remember one day, while getting ready to leave for home, I opened my locker to find a bag of razors to fall out. I had no idea how that ever got in there but I heard giggling from Maddy and her friends. I realized they somehow got the razors in there and I got angry. I looked in the locker to find a note. It had said ‘Here’s a little head start on getting rid of yourself you emo freak!’ I crumpled up the note and took the bag of razors home so I could dispose of them there and not on school grounds. I went home that day and went outside to the trash bin to throw them out. I couldn’t though. All the names I was ever called rushed back to me. I trembled and brought the bag closer. I took it inside and up to my room. My mom and dad still had their present jobs then so I was home alone still.

I tried it. I don’t know why but I tried it. I only picked out one razor…that’s it. Just once and I’ll never do it again. I didn’t do it just once though. They say it’s an addiction that you can’t get out of. I’m not sure what came over me but I did it more and more. I covered all of them up though. I’d go to school the next day and count all the names I was called that day. Then when I went home I remembered how many I counted and would put that little razor onto my flesh and put one for every insult. I got up to twenty-seven insults one day. That day at home was the most excruciating yet relieving day of all.

Unfortunately this became a problem. And some problems lead to worse ordeals. They found out. Maddy, Stephanie and Clare found out about this and did something that day. They saw them in gym, in the locker rooms and they punished me for it. That was the first time I was ever beaten. They rubbed soap all over the scars and some were still fresh making the sensation unbearable. They beat me with all the rage they had. All the other girls just either left the scene or watched in horror and fear, afraid to step in and get beaten themselves. I felt utterly helpless that day. Until someone stopped them.

My eyes were closed and I felt all three of them stop hitting me. I opened my eyes to see who had stopped them. I was both relieved and afraid. That was the first day I ever met Johanna. She saved me. She practically fought them until the coach came down and yelled at everyone to get out. Johanna helped me out but I was still afraid. Once I was up I grabbed my stuff and ran away, possibly leaving her dumbfounded. Even after that incident I never stopped with the razors. It got worse and worse.

One day some guy kept bugging me in class. He kept picking on me and even shoved me in my seat. The teacher wasn’t in the classroom because she had gone out to get papers. He kept bullying me and bullying me until I was ready to break down. And then someone told him to back off. I saw who it was and that was the first time I ever got to know Addie. She told him to stop picking on me and when he didn’t stop she came over and smashed a textbook in his face. When the teacher came back Addie was already seated while the boy stopped talking, giving fearful glances at her. I wanted to tell her thank you but I was still too afraid to do anything.

One day while in lunch I sat alone. People stopped bothering me but I still never ate. I just played with my food. Suddenly I heard a clank and looked up. Johanna had set her tray down and took a seat across from me. She gave me a smile but I said nothing. I was quiet and never answered her questions even though I should’ve because I knew she was just trying to be nice. Then I heard another clank and looked to my right. Addie took a seat next to me and smiled widely. She tried talking to me too and when I wouldn’t say things she made jokes and did weird things. Johanna laughed even though I knew she had never met her before. Then eventually I started to smile at Addie’s silliness.

And soon enough she made me laugh. That was the happiest I ever felt in a long time. The three of us talked and we exchanged numbers with each other. At home whenever I was about to use my razors I’d get a text and since I was polite I would always answer. It’d be either Addie or Johanna but somehow while texting them I’d always forget about my razors. After that whenever I’d go home I never looked forward to hurting myself. I looked forward to texting the two crazy girls. We all decided to hang out one day and that was the best time of my life.

A whole four hours after school of running around the mall and pigging out at the cafeteria. I felt more alive than I ever had that day. I could relive it over and over again if I could. I got close to them that I told them my problems, including my panic attacks and self harm issues. They helped me through it. They helped me get rid of my razors and I never hurt myself again. Although I’ll still have my panic attacks they help me through that too. I don’t panic as much as I used to because of them and my parents were happy that I was finally having fun. I never told them about my self-harming but I figured since it was over that there was no need to tell them.

Addie and Johanna got me through middle school and I made it to high school. That’s where I met the idiotic Ian. He was the clown of all his classes. He was popular that way. And somehow he began talking to me. We became friends as well, but the friends that always want to kill each other. I’d annoy him with my intelligence and vocabulary. And he’d annoy me with…well he’d just annoy me. But I never would’ve met him without Addie and Johanna. They’re my saviors. And…without them…I wouldn’t be alive today. So seeing them everyday is my way of saying thank you. I’m not sure if they’ve figured that out yet but deep down I know that they’re grateful everyday for me, and that I’ve accomplished so much with them. They really are my best friends. Without them I might’ve actually ended my own life. But they kept me up when life tried to break me down. They’re the best thing to happen to me that I’ve ever, ever cherished…other than the fact that I’m still breathing.

~End of memory flashback~

I sighed as I thought all about that horrific point in my life. It still never really ended but Addie and Johanna have kept me on my feet through all the shit in life. I sat down on my bed and stared at my phone. Hopefully I’ll get to see them again. And this time I hope I stay.

*Jeff’s POV*

I woke up in a cold sweat. How long have I been out? God damn, everything hurts! Ugh I feel like crap. I sat up only to have a bolt of pain rush up my entire body. I groaned and lay back down. I wasn’t going to get up now. Fuck that shit! I’m lying down! Ah wait, what if I gotta take a whazz? Dammit I’ll have to get up anyways. Curse my bladder.

I looked at the ceiling and sighed. I didn’t have to look around to know I was in the laboratory. I could tell curtains were covering my bed so no one could see me. I wonder how bad I look. I manage to sit up slightly and check. The lower part of my left leg was bandaged all around. My arms bandaged and there was bandages all around my torso. I tried to sit up to see if I could ever get up but I felt a horrible pain on my back. I yelled out in pain and I fell back on my bed. The pain was still there and I was moaning from it. What the hell?! This is unbearable! Then I remembered what happened.

Elizabeth. She had stabbed me. I pinned her down but she just suddenly got up and started beating me to a pulp. Well, I did too but I knew when things were too far and even then I had to do those things because the fight was supposed to be serious. If I showed remorse then she’d never know that when she’s in a real fight her enemy wouldn’t be the same. But something else bothered me. I noticed it as soon as she started advancing. Her eyes…they…they were…they were fucking red…! Not irritated red I mean actual eye color red…! They weren’t her usual pretty ocean blue eyes. They were full on bloody red. It scared the fuck out of me!

I also noticed that she started putting more force into her attacks and she got more violent. And when she stabbed me I was shocked because she didn’t even hesitate. I don’t know what was up with her but all I know is that those fucking eyes seemed to be stuck in my mind…and not in a good way. The horrible pain was still there and I was left to moan in pain for a while. Finally I heard the door open and someone pulled the curtains back.

It was Slendy and he looked down at me. “Are you okay?” he asked. I gave him a dirty look and snapped, “What the fuck does it look like, twinkle toes?! No, I’m not okay! I’m in pain, god dammit!” He sighed and I just groaned from the pain getting worse. Slendy grabbed my arms with his tentacles and pulled me up. I cursed at him as the pain got stronger with the movement. He looked at my back and said, “Bloody hell, Jeffery. You reopened your wound. Now you’ve bloodied your bandages and the damn bed.” I grumbled and he picked me up to fix the wound. He took off the bandages and started closing up my wound again. I winced but took the pain. After he was done he put bandages around again and then put me in a different bed. I groaned and stared up at the ceiling again. “Try not to move again,” Slendy said. I nodded and sighed.

I wonder if I should tell him about Ellie. It was something pretty fucking weird. But I don’t want anything bad to happen to her if the whole thing is a problem. But I don’t want her to have the problem either. This is why I don’t think about things. It’s too much hard work! Slendy went back downstairs to get me water and I stayed lying down. I wonder how Ellie’s doing. I hope she’s not too hurt. Its strange how I’m more worried about her than before. She knows how to protect herself now so why am I more concerned than before? Is it because of the whole eye color change that she had? It did scare me shitless. I didn’t expect it. I get a bad feeling about it though. I’m not sure what it meant but hopefully I’ll be there to protect her. But what scares me the most…is that if I’ll even be able to protect her from herself.

*HOPEFULLY YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER AFTER THAT BACK STORY OF ELIZABETH. YES SHE SELF-HARMED AND WAS A BIT SUICIDAL BEFORE BUT IT’S ALL IN THE PAST. I COULD RANT ABOUT NOT COMMITTING SUICIDE AND HOW IT NEVER SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CAN’T TAKE UP THIS WHOLE THING SO I’LL BE SIMPLE AND GIVE YOU A QUOTE THAT I TAKE TO HEART.

“Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better.”

AND IF YOU LOOK BACK ON ELIZABETH’S STORY…HER LIFE GOT BETTER. THE BULLYING DIDN’T STOP BUT IT GOT BETTER. PEOPLE WERE THERE FOR HER. WITHOUT HER FRIENDS SHE WOULD'VE TAKEN HER LIFE. ‘THERE’S ALWAYS A LIGHT AT THE END OF EVERY TUNNEL’ THEY SAY. WHICH MEANS NO MATTER HOW SHITTY YOUR LIFE COULD POSSIBLY BE THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING…NO, SOMEONE WHO WILL SAVE YOU AND FIX WHAT’S BROKEN. ELLIE IS AN EXAMPLE OF THAT. HELL SHE MET THE CREEPYPASTAS! WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THAT OTHER THAN A LARGE TUB OF NUTELLA?! SO REALLY THINGS GET BETTER. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AND BE PATIENT AND STRONG. IF ANYBODY’S GOING THROUGH SOMETHING…REMEMBER THIS CHAPTER. READ ELLIE’S STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN BE AS STRONG AS HER. THANK YOU EVERYONE :) SEE YOU NEXT TIME!*