Jaemins sick, Jeno feels lonely

!Angst¡

Song : Sia - Angel By The Wings

-

Jeno watches his boyfriend lie in bed, fast asleep. He watches as he takes slow breaths. Jaemins sick, very sick, and yet he still refuses to be put into a hospital.

So Jeno takes care of him.

Jenos tired. Jeno gets really tired sometimes. He works all day just to pay for Jaemins health and the things he needs. Jeno just wants to sleep but knowing that his boyfriend might not wake up the next morning frightens him.

Jeno walks to the balcony and steps outside, leaning on the railing. He then pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, and lights it as he takes a deep inhale. He pulls the cigarette out and exhales smoke that dissolves into thin air not a second later.

Jeno closed his eyes and let's the cool breeze clear his mind. Jeno does this every night. He smokes, goes back in, takes a shower, watches tv, doesn't eat dinner, and waits for morning, checking on Jaemin once in awhile.

It was about 2 in the morning at this moment, and Jeno was finishing his last cigarette. Jeno then threw it to the ground and stepped on it as he walked back in.

Of course Jaemin didn't know he smoked, but he didn't have to find out. He started smoking when Jaemin got really sick. Jeno thought of it as a escape of mind.

He walked in and Jaemin was in the same place he was everyday.

He sighed as he walked to the bathroom and took his shower. Washing all his worries away with the water.

He turned off the shower and got out as he dried himself as he put a towel around his waist, and walked back into the room. In the darkness of the room he found his clothes.

"Taking a shower at 2am?" Jeno instantly jolted up at the sudden voice and turned around to see Jaemin, laying their watching Jeno with droopy eyes and a small smile.

Jeno could sigh and shake his head as he turned around again to gather his clothes.

"Go back to sleep."

"I'm always sleeping." Jaemin said unamused.

"The doctor said rest is good, sleep Jaemin. It's good for your body, it's the only time you grow." Jeno explained.

"Exactly. I'm wasting my lifetime already." Jaemin said stretching his arms.

"Whatever you say." Jeno was too tired to even argue back.

"When's the last time you slept hm?" Jaemin suddenly asked and Jenos mouth went dry.

Then he thought really hard.

When was the last time he slept? Had a good meal? Smiled and laughed at something stupid?

Jeno just turned to walk out of the room.

"Go to sleep." He said and closed the door, and with that went to get dressed in the bathroom and walked to the living room.

He turned on the tv and sat on the couch.

He heard some noises after awhile but decided to ignore them as he felt so tired. He closed his eyes and they were so heavy that he couldn't open them again. He felt his head fall, but on something soft. Something broad. He then felt a hand caress his cheek and he leaned into the touch.

He heard the click of a tv go off, and he felt a blanket wrap around him, warmth hugging his cold body. He was so tired that he slowly went into a deep sleep.

-

Jeno woke up with a hand running through his hair, and him leaning against a chest.

He slowly turned his head and was met with Jaemins brown eyes, looking down at him.

"Jae-"

"You know how hard it is for me?" Jaemin started in a whisper.

Jeno looked taken back.

"You know how hard it is to see you like this? So cold and thin. So helpless, and like a lost dog, searching for something to go to and call home." Jaemin whispered.

They stared into each others eyes and Jeno swore he saw Jaemins eyes get glassy.

"It's so hard to not be there for you. To not help you whenever u need it. To not hug you when you feel sad, to not tell you everything I want to say kills me Jeno. It kills me." Jaemin now was in tears, and one of them landed on Jenos cheek.

Jeno lifted his hand and wiped them away and Jaemin held it as he kissed it but looked right back at Jeno.

"I want to be there with you, I don't want to sit in this bed and watch you suffer alone. I want to hold you Jeno, so tight that it makes u feel the love I feel towards you. I don't want you taking a path alone, I want to grow and thrive with you, and only you." Jaemin said.

Jeno was in tears now, he could hear it, he could hear the pain that Jaemin was in. He could see and feel it.

"I love you so much." Jaemin said before he embraced Jeno and Jeno wrapped his arms around his neck as he did the same. They cried in each others arms for awhile, but after they just embraced eachother, and their presence.

"Jaemin..." Jeno started, and Jaemin only made a humming noise in return as his face was shoved in the side of Jenos neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry, and you don't have to sleep all day anymore, but you have to promise me to take care of yourself." Jeno whispered.

Jaemin looked up and met Jenos eyes, full of fear and pain. He wanted to get rid of it and throw it away where it'll never be seen again, only those soft and innocent ones will be put on display.

"I promise." Jaemin said as he leaned in.

They met each other's lips and both felt love towards eachother. Their lips molded perfectly together and after awhile both pulled back and Jaemin had an expression Jeno couldn't explain.

"Have you been smoking again?" Jaemin asked.

Jeno then panicked a little and looked away from Jaemins gaze.

"Look at me Jeno." Jaemin said firmly.

Jeno slowly looked up to Jaemin obediently, and was met with strict eyes.

"Answer me, have you?" Jaemins voice softened and he caressed Jenos cheek.

"Maybe." Jeno said below a whisper, but they were so close Jaemin could hear his heart beating and his shallow breathing.

"I thought we talked about this." Jaemin whispered.

"I know." Jeno said.

Silence fell over them and Jeno wanted to say something, but didn't.

Jaemin then laid his head back into the crook of Jenos neck and gave it a small kiss before exhaling a deep sigh.

"We'll talk later." Jaemin said. "I know your tired."

And Jeno was. He was very tired, and felt it take over as his eye lids dropped closed.

And drifted into dream land.

-

I'm depressed again.
;-;