Chapter 10

Present

Sarah's POV:

"As much as I didn't want to go," Landon swallows, pausing to take another bite of his burger, "this food makes up for it. I haven't eaten all day."

I smile up at him, happy to have paid for his food. "I'm glad."

He continues to stroll beside me, looking relaxed for the first time since I've met him. "The view's not bad either," he says, looking on at the sea. "The boardwalk was a good idea. I haven't been here in years."

I glance around. As always, the boardwalk is busy and noisy. Everyone and everything around here comes alive at night – the bonfires, the parties, the restaurants, the surfers and so on and so on.

"I used to come here with my sister often," I tell him, sipping on my soda. I really miss her. Some days, it feels like my heart is going to crack open and bleed out. It doesn't seem to get any easier.

He casually follows me along the wooden walkway down to the beach where the dark ocean is lapping at the sand. "My dad loved the sea," he eventually speaks up, offering me a small part of his story in return.

It's nice to know that he can talk. It always feels like I'm the one doing all the talking.

I step off the boardwalk and take a seat in the cool sand. "He did?" I ask, my eyes set on the waves crashing and the surfers paddling further out to sea.

Landon nods and drops down beside me. "He used to take my sister and me here all the time when we were kids. I guess that's why I don't come here anymore. It's a harsh reminder," he hesitantly opens up.

I'm taken aback by the revelation. I didn't expect him to share. That's never been my intention. I'm just looking for someone who can relate to what I'm going through and Landon seems to fit the bill.

I nod. "I get that now. I really do." If anything, this place makes me miss Sue even more. I completely understand.

Landon doesn't speak again. I can guess what he's thinking, he's thinking that he's spilling too much to someone that he barely knows. After all, he's got to stay the 'tough' guy that he makes himself out to be.

"I didn't know you had a sister," I state, changing the subject for his sake. Uncomfortable by his sudden silence, I curl my toes in the sand.

"Emma," he answers me. "My little sister," he says proudly, his eyes gleaming at the very mention of her.

She's important to him. She plays a big role in his life. I can't help but smile. The love he seems to have for her reminds me of the close bond I had with my own sister.

"I hope to meet her someday," I say quietly, my gaze moving to the blue sky lit with stars.

Landon doesn't say anything. I get the feeling that he doesn't introduce her to just anyone.

When I feel him staring at me, I turn to look his way. "I mean, if you want," I add sheepishly.

Up close, I notice the little things that make up his unique features, like his emerald green eyes that seem to light up at night and his chestnut brown hair. I also notice his sharp jawline and angled cheekbones. He's very attractive but he doesn't seem to know that.

The left corner of his lip turns up into a half-smile as he grins down at me, seemingly more carefree. "Maybe."

"Looking forward to it, that's if she's anything like you and anywhere as nice as you," I say without thinking and then immediately blush when I realize what I've just said. Stupid Sarah. C'mon, you're better than this.

Landon, to my surprise, chuckles deeply as if what I just said is hilarious. At the same time, he's completely oblivious. His entire face lights up when he laughs, and to be honest, I'd rather be looking at him than the sea.

"I think you're the first person who's ever called me 'nice'," he eventually tells me after having a good laugh at my expense.

His words confuse me because ever since meeting him, he's been nothing but decent to me. He helped me with my car and fixed it, free of charge, before giving me a lift to the hospital. He also gave me his number and made time to talk me through Sue's death. He's even put his night aside to be with me now.

"Then people are blind," I retort, still puzzled by his statement. It doesn't make sense to me. "You're very civil."

He lifts a hand to his temple and glances down at a broken shell embedded in the sand. "Glad someone thinks so," he says, still smiling.

The front part of his hair is slightly longer and the spiky strands are swept to the side in a messy style. However, he's still got that short, clean-cut look about him. It suites him.

"This is life," he says quietly when I don't say anything else.

I follow his gaze. He's still staring out at the ocean and I can just see images of his father running through his mind.

"Thanks, by the way," he holds up the box his burger came in, "for the food." He sighs in content. "It was good."

I laugh at him. He's so real and authentic in spite of what others think. It's strange being with him. With Ryan, I was always worrying about what others think because his anxiety was brushing off onto me.

This is the first time that I've been able to relax out in public since Ryan. Landon, just judging by what he's doing right now, doesn't seem to care what anyone may think or say about him. He doesn't care if he's being judged. He's free from that hold.

I smile and shake my head at him when I see him bobbing his head to the music from left to right while clapping his hands.

"Everybody", he mouths the words to the current song playing over the stereos situated all around, "rock your body!" He grins and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt before clapping again.

"You're hilarious," I admit shyly, unable to stop smiling or laughing.

He shrugs again and rubs at his chin when the song ends. "It's catchy."

He's a lot more laid-back than I realized.

"How's Dean?" I ask him for the sake of conversation. I don't want another outbreak of silence – it's not as fun as talking to him.

He scoffs at the name. "Still an idiot, unfortunately." He shifts in the sand, turning to face me. "How's Prince Charming?"

I smile at the nickname Dean first gave to Ryan. "I haven't seen him for a while now. He's been cold after the break-up," I confess, a frown taking form on my lips. I still feel guilty about that. I feel even more guilty when I'm out spending time with a guy that isn't him.

"Oh," Landon shakes his head as it occurs to him, "that's why he was being such a jerk to you on the day you crashed."

"Yeah." I nod. "I had literally just told him."

He rubs at his slight stubble, his five o'clock shadow, and chuckles again. "That's gotta suck. I just assumed that he was a trash person." He shrugs, uncaring and insensitive to the matter. "In all honesty, I do that with most people."

I shake my head. "Ryan's a good guy. He's just misunderstood." It's a knee-jerk reaction to defend him and it makes me question whether I'm truly over him and whether I did the right thing by dumping him. There might still be some feelings from my end.

Once again, a moment of silence floats between us before Landon suddenly stands up. "Thanks, Sarah." He dusts the sand off of him, the top of his hair blowing slowly in the breeze. "This outing actually turned out to be a lot of fun but I should probably get going before my sister starts worrying about me."

I jump up to my feet, fearing that I've said something wrong. "Oh," I reply dryly, caught off guard. "Okay. Sure. No problem."

*~*~*~**~*~*~*

On the way back to the garage, Landon and I didn't say much more to each other. The ride was fairly silent. He barely said goodbye to me before driving off. 

I'd love to go out with him again as friends but I don't think he'll be too keen. It might take a lot of convincing on my part. I think he regrets telling me so much about him. I didn't force him, I just made myself available to listen to what he had to say.

By the time I arrive home, it's dark and fairly windy. I grab my house keys after first pulling my car into the garage. When I walk up to the front door, I stop short at the sight of a car parked across my house.

Aware of what's coming next, I turn and glance at the entrance. Sitting on my front doorstep with his heads in his hands is none other than my ex, Ryan.

I sigh internally and quietly take a seat beside him. "Hey, Ry," I greet softly, alerting him of my presence. When he doesn't reply, I realize that he's sleeping. I nudge him softly with my elbow. "Ryan? Wake up."

He shuffles away from me before opening his eyes. "Sarah?" He asks with a lazy smile, still in a daze. He glances around as if trying to figure out where he is.

"Are you drunk?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I really hope it's not drunk confession time. I'm not prepared to break his heart all over again. I don't have it in me to reject him twice.

My question seems to snap him out of his hazy, dream-like state.

"No," he answers, his smile faltering before disappearing completely. "I just came by earlier to drop some of your things off, but you weren't home." He gestures to the box lying beside him.

"Thanks," I say, taking the box from his hands. "How long have you been waiting for me?" I ask, feeling bad for him. "You should have just called."

"I just figured you'd probably be home," he replies with a shrug of his shoulders. "You usually don't go out much. I was taking a chance. I wanted to see you."

I analyze his features and immediately notice the dark rings under his eyes. "Ryan," I drawl out hesitantly, "are you okay?"

"I'll be honest," he clears his throat, anxious, "I miss you, Sarah."

It's sober confession time.

"I don't what to say," I reply. My gut is telling me not to take him back. I am certain that we're not supposed to be together. It's the main reason why I ended things between us.

He reaches into his pocket before handing me a pair of dog tags. "Your sister bought this for my birthday that one year. I thought you should have it."

I glance down at the silver tags lying in the palm of my hands. I remember the day Sue gave it to him. She always bought everyone something small for their birthdays and she was the only one from my family who truly liked Ryan.

"You don't have to give this to me," I assure him. "Sue gave it to you."

"It belongs to you now, Sarah," he tells me firmly, refusing to take it back.

"Thanks, Ry," I say, putting the dog tags around my neck. "I will take care of it for her and you." I smile up at him, his blue eyes causing a pang in my chest – I somewhat miss him too. "This means a lot to me. You have no idea."

I open up the box and skim through it. Most of it is my own belongings. However, among all of the items that I accidentally left at Ryan's house are gifts that I'd given to him through the course of our relationship. It hurts that he wants to give them back to me. It makes me feel like I don't matter anymore.

"So," Ryan awkwardly breaks the tension between us, "where were you tonight anyway?" He asks me, curious.

It's as if we're still dating; I fumble for a response. "I was out with a friend," I answer in all honesty, failing to mention the details to him. "We were just talking and hanging out at the boardwalk. I was just looking for some perspective on a personal matter, some insight, you know?" I ramble, nervous.

I know how Ryan can be.

As expected, he reads too much into it:

"You're already dating again and we've hardly been broken-up? I'm still going through the motions. What the heck, Sarah? I thought you were better than this." Ryan glares at me, jumping the gun and making his own assumptions. "Who is he?"

"I'm not dating anyone, Ry," I clarify, ready to explain. "I was just hanging out with Landon because--"

"The garage guy?!" Ryan raises his tone in anger. "You barely know him!"

I sigh aloud. "Are you going to let me explain or are you going to yell over me every time I open my mouth to say something?"

He gets up and storms over to his car. "Yell over you!"