Chapter 12: Illusions

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Copyright © jasminedarcie

All Rights Reserved

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner or language whatsoever without the express written permission of the author.


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Hello, today I posted two chapters, Chapter 11 and Chapter 12, so please do read both :)

Thank you for reading Chapter 11 and please continue to read Chapter 12 :) This chapter will give you glimpse of how it all began between Shivaay and Anika. The ending will show an Anika who will now be able to move on.

Please do read, comment and like. Thank you for spreading the word about this book and please continue to do so :)

Also, please read my independent fictional novel The Web of Love Tales (https://www.wattpad.com/756284965-the-web-of-love-tales-chapter-1-the-storm)

Thank you so much for all the promotion. I am truly grateful to God for giving me such kind and generous readers :)

Please give feedback :) Also, tell me if I should enter this story into the watty awards 2019 :)

Thank you for reading :D

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https://youtu.be/VOLKJJvfAbg

Anika's Point of View

I laid in my hospital bed as I kept repeating memories. Memories of the dead relationship. Is it right for me to move forward and take a chance with Armaan? Should I even take this step considering my past with Shivaay? married to Shivaay. It's not like we were just merely boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean I still think about him. In fact, every single moment I have spent today, I have thought about Shivaay. Thought about us and our relationship. Thought about the moment it began.

Flashback:

I took a deep breath as I fixed the deep neckline. I sighed as I looked at the waves of dark blue chiffon fall down my waist as I attempted it to pull it down to cover my knees. I hate dresses. No matter what, dresses are definitely not my type. I rolled my eyes as I ran a comb through my curls and sprayed them to prevent them from frizzing up anymore.

It had been a week since finals ended in medical school and as a way to celebrate end of finals and beginning of winter break, the school had decided to hold a winter formal. I know right. I thought proms and dances were a thing of the past in high school, but I guess not. Even if proms and dances were a thing of the best, I haven't even experienced them. I mean this winter formal is the first dance I ever went to. I skipped prom and all the other dances, so clearly I am a dork I guess. Well, I am proud to be a dork. I thought as I gave myself a wide smile in the mirror.

Be nice and polite Anika. You know you hate social gatherings, but you have to go in order to pitch your research project idea to Professor Smith. All the Professors will be there and this is the time to pitch your dream project. You haven't been able to get hold of Professor Smith for weeks since he's always busy with his research project, but today's the day. He will likely be there and you can pitch your idea to him. I took a deep breath as I tried to gather my nerves as I placed my feet into a small pair of silver heels. Tapping the small heel against the wooden floor, I smiled in satisfaction. Thank God, I found a small heel to wear. The tall ones are intolerable and I can barely walk in them. Grabbing my clutch and black coat, I made a run for the Uber waiting downstairs of my apartment.

The ride was quite a bit long as the Uber driver was trying to beat the busy traffic. I kept reminding myself of my project and its pitch as I gathered courage to be brave. Public health is definitely my area of interest and what better could it be if I could be able to do research on access to healthcare that local elementary school students have residing in different districts. It's a great idea and I should definitely pitch it.

Looking outside of the window, I noticed a crowd of students ascending into the large auditorium where the formal was held. I took a deep breath as I wore my coat and thanked the Uber driver before stepping out.

Relax Anika. You got this. I repeated to myself as I held on to my clutch tightly and dashed into the building leading to the auditorium.

I walked in silence as I looked around towards others laughing and smiling around each other. Couples walking together hand in hand while friends joked each other. It was the perfect atmosphere that could make anyone feel happy and relaxed from dreadful finals week, but somehow I couldn't feel any of that emotion.

A sense of loneliness clutched tightly to my body not wanting to let go of me. It had been one whole semester of medical school and not once did I make one friend. I know how is that even possible? Well it is for me. Throughout my life, I have been so bad at making friends. No matter how nice or polite I try to be, I just always utterly fail at making friends, so of course I would not make friends in medical school. It all makes sense. My therapist tells me it is likely because I have social anxiety. Well, perhaps she's right. I think I do have some aspects of it. I mean I do get tensed up in social gatherings and do feel anxiety as if everyone is watching me. But, still I try to spark a conversation and be friendly, but somehow that connection that is needed to move beyond the relationship from acquaintance to friendship can never me made by me no matter how hard I try.

I heard a loud familiar laugh as I made my way up a small step of stairs.

"I'm shocked you're here. I thought you were saying you couldn't because of a family gathering or something for the holiday."

"Yeah, well I thought to stay in the city for the holidays. I means I have a lot of work to be catching up upon at the company and then I have my research project going on so I thought it's better I stay back for the holidays." The deep voice sounded familiar as I walked down the hall as I noticed the conversation emerging from a small crowd of professors.

Stopping in my tracks in an instant, I realized whose voice it was as I looked at the tall figure whose back was towards me. None other than Professor Oberoi.

"Well, Shivaay you made a great decision to stay back. This city has a lot to offer for the holiday," A professor said patting Professor Oberoi's back lightly.

Oh great. It had been a week since that awfully awkward conversation I had with Professor Oberoi concerning the "connection" he felt that night I had spent in his apartment. I mean I cannot even think of that night to be honest. Considering he's my professor, even if I try to think of a connection it is so wrong to think of him in such manner since it's unethical and against school policy. But, think Anika...you didn't feel anything for him that night? I flashbacked to our pleasant conversations and then the moment he came so close to me. I honestly felt something different. I mean I felt attracted to him in that moment when I think about it, but to be honest...I cannot think anything more deeper than that. It's completely inappropriate of me to think so.

Just look the other way Anika. I repeated to myself as I began walking towards them and quickly dashed as I passed right next to them. My heels tapping loudly against the tile floor as I quickened my pace.

"Hey Anika! Hey!" Here I thought I was about to escape as I heard the familiar voice behind me. My foot stopping against the tile floor as I peeked over my shoulder pulling a strand of hair back to ensure it was Professor Oberoi and indeed I was correct.

"Um...hi Professor," I emphasized the last word as I slightly smiled turning towards him. A small smirk appearing on his face as he placed his hands in his pockets and looked up towards me as I stood a level above him on the stair step.

"Hi...I didn't expect you to be here tonight. I mean I don't know...I honestly didn't think you would enjoy an event like this," He remarked as I raised my eyebrow at him a bit taken aback by his comment. Do I really appear so lonely and isolated that someone can just guess from appearance that I dislike social gatherings? Hmm...a thought to be contemplated upon.

"Well, I am here I guess. Um...so...enjoy." Quickly turning on my heel I walked up the stair step and towards the large doors of the auditorium.

"Well, honestly, I was regretting to show up here tonight, but I am happy I did," He quickly noted as he caught up with me and opened the auditorium door as a roar of music emerged from the auditorium.

Oh great, is he going to follow me around? Wait, why will he follow me around? He's not my boyfriend or lover. None of that sorts. I shook the thought out of my head as I opened my clutch and pulled out a ticket showing it to the attendant next to the door.

"Um...where can I place my coat?" I questioned as I slid my coat off my shoulders as I fixed the half sleeve on my shoulder.

"We will tag it and put it in the small bin we have," The attendant noted as I handed him my coat.

"Wow." My ears shot up as I quickly looked up towards Professor Oberoi as his eyes appeared a little widened as he looked at me slowly moving his eyes towards the dark blue dress that clinged tightly against my body.

I felt my cheeks burning up as I felt his eyes sucking in each and every detail that was part of me. My hands trembling as I pulled out my driver's license as I showed it to the attendant as proof. What has gotten into you Anika? Stay calm, cool, and collected. I repeated the phrase in my mind as Professor Oberoi handed his ticket to the attendant.

I made a quick dash towards refreshments as I attempted to blend into the crowd and avoid Professor Oberoi for good. The music booming loudly through the speakers as I felt a push from the crowd of dancers behind me. The smell of sweat and alcohol merged together creating a pungent odor that compelled me to vomit.

God, I cannot wait to get out of here tonight. I sighed as I grabbed a small glass of lemonade as I scanned my eyes through the crowd trying to locate Professor Smith. All I have to do is go and personally pitch my idea to him. I mean he is my last hope considering I was rejected by all the other professors to whom I had pitched my research project's idea. Professor Smith is my last hope considering this project.

"Anything wrong?" I quickly turned around realizing it was Holly.

Oh great Holly's here. She's my key competition in bagging support for the research project from Professor Smith. Professor Smith is only offering to support one more project from a student and Holly is vying for the same position that I am. So far both of us haven't had luck in catching Professor Smith's eye, so the competition is pretty tough as of now.

"No nothing is wrong Holly. How are you?" I pleasantly smiled trying to downplay the competitive spirit between us.

"Good. You look quite different. I didn't expect you to clean up so well."

Slightly furrowing my eyebrows at her sly comment, I took a drink of my lemonade and began walking away.

"Are you looking for Professor Smith?" She questioned as she began tagging along with me.

"How do you know?"

"Well, darling, I know everything. Too bad...I got to him already."

Stopping in my footsteps, I looked at her a bit shocked at the realization I had lost my chance.

"You did? What did he say?" I asked curiously as I looked at Holly. A small smirk bouncing around on her face.

"Nothing yet of course, but I think I sealed it," She proudly announced sticking her nose up in the air as she walked away.

Great. Just the news I wanted to hear. Why is it that nothing goes right in my life? Why do I always have to encounter hiccups and speed bumps in my life? I never get anything I ever want. Instead, the opposite, of which I never thought of, happens. God.

Pressing my fingers against my temple, I attempted to calm down as I felt my legs trembling. Calm down Anika. Don't believe Holly. You should fight for yourself. The fight is not yet over. Fight for your dream research project. You deserve it.

I wiped a trickle of sweat from my forehead as I looked around for Professor Smith. Noticing a familiar bald head and short figure in the corner of the auditorium, I pinpointed the figure was likely of Professor Smith's.

Calm down Anika and be confident. Fight for your cause. I kept repeating the thought in my mind as I quickened my pace towards Professor Smith as he appeared to be chatting away with another group of professors. As I reached him, I felt my pace slowing down as my anxiety began catching up and clinging tightly to me. Oh great. The good old anxiety. I bit my lip nervously as I crossed my arms and stood awkwardly behind him as he kept chatting away.

Anika speak. Just speak up. Speak! My mind kept pushing me as I tried to gather small remains of courage I had.

"Um...Professor Smith," My voice squeaked as it barely came rolling out of me. Clearly, he didn't hear me as the loud music hindered my voice from reaching to his ears.

"Professor Smith!" I said a bit too loudly as he jerked spilling a little bit of fruit punch on the floor. Holding his chest a bit taken aback from my sudden voice he quickly turned towards me.

"Oh! Anika it's you!"

"Um...Hi Professor Smith. How are you?" I said trying to plaster a pleasant smile on my face, but it was forceful as my anxiety began to take a deep hold of my thoughts.

You are stupid. You will never succeed. Just watch how Professor Smith will reject you. The thoughts kept spinning around in my mind as I fixed my dress holding on to my clutch for dear life as I felt my palms getting sweaty.

"I'm good Anika. How are you?"

"G-great of...course Professor. Um...I really need to talk to you about...a very important topic," I said as I felt my breath rumble against the voice that barely was making it's way out.

"Oh yes. The project correct?" He questioned as I felt a bit happy that I did not have to awkwardly call him out about not reading the countless emails I had sent him about my research project.

"So...um...Professor Smith, the project means a lot to me. I mean this project will be great for the city to figure how healthcare is disproportionately distributed amongst children who reside in different areas of the city. This would be a great eye opener for many physicians and healthcare systems-"

"Anika please. I get it and I have read your pitch already on the emails you sent me, but I mean...you should understand that if I haven't replied then I am not quite interested," He blantly spoke as his statement came out as a dagger.

"What?" I felt my eyes slowly watering up. Oh no. It's the waterworks again. I have this horrible weakness of crying in public and clearly I will be expressing this weakness soon. I felt my anxiety tugging on my eyes and pulling the tears out slowly as I felt my breathes getting shallow.

"Yes. I mean to be honest, I do not see potential in your research project. Medicine is advancing big time and being an honored faculty member of this school, I want to bring talented people to the forefront who have unique ideas about drug design, how stem cells can be modified, or something that brings a cure. I mean sure assessing disproportionate access to care is a good topic to think about, but to be honest...I don't see the potential of this subject. This subject of disproportionate healthcare is read by everyone, but little action is taken." Professor Smith continued to speak his long lecture as his words faded away and intermingled with the inner fire of emotions I was experiencing.

He doesn't like my idea? I mean I get it. I understand he basically wants his name to be published on research that will get him more fame. But, this issue or this idea I have is very serious and something to consider. I mean I don't get it. My idea cannot be so bad, can it? Professor Smith is my last hope. I mean all the other professors have rejected me and Professor Smith was my last hope.

"Um...Professor just listen to me once-"

"Sorry Anika. I cannot do anything about this. I mean if your idea was like Holly's who wants to research on efficient treatment of retinoblastoma in children, I would support it but sorry I cannot Anika," Professor Smith remarked as he rolled his eyes. I could tell he was annoyed by my presence as he attempted to shake me off his back.

https://youtu.be/3CAuEbjW60E

Great. You lost Anika. Congratulations for proving you are a loser for the hundredth time. I felt tears making their way down my cheeks as I felt my cheeks being set on fire. I attempted to control myself, but couldn't as I felt my hands shaking violently.

"Are you ok Anika?" Wiping my tears away quickly, I turned around realizing it was Professor Oberoi. Appearing a bit taken aback, as he eyed the dried tears on my cheeks and my hands that kept shaking.

I bit my lip as I attempted to gain strength to give a reply, but couldn't as I knew I was going to break down if I said another word.

Clasping my hands together, I rubbed them together as I tried to calm down as I began hiccupping trying to catch a breath. A look of concern flashed across his face that usually displayed a dark demeanor as he made his way towards me.

"Are you ok? I can get you something to drink?"

"I-I'm fine," I barely spoke as I began walking towards the exit.

"I cannot leave you alone like this!" He exclaimed as I felt his hand taking a hold of my elbow. I stopped in my tracks as I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm fine Professor. Please." I wrangled my elbow out of his hand as I sighed and began walking in the drift of loneliness I had embraced.

Why God? Why do you do this to me? Why do you lay down a bed of roses that is a mere illusion and only has thorns? Why do you give me hope only to break it? Why? I kept questioning Him as I pushed myself through a crowd of dancers.

Why do you give everyone happiness and not me? I eyed the large crowd of dancers as they yelled and howled as music fueled every inch of alcohol and smoke of nicotine they had weaved themselves in as they danced. Why do you only darken my soul?

I attempted to breathe as my breaths skipped and toppled one another. Don't think too much Anika. It will worsen your panic attack. I attempted to focus on my breathing as I grabbed a water bottle from the refreshment table and took a sip. An attempt to make the cool water calm down the fire my soul had ignited.

"Anika..." I looked up realizing it was Professor Oberoi as he held out a small handkerchief for me.

I rolled my eyes clearly annoyed that he was not leaving me alone. I felt my mascara and eyeliner melting and burning my eyes as I wiped my eyes with my fingers smudging it more as my fingers blackened.

"The handkerchief is a better choice," I raised my head up towards him as he held the handkerchief out for me still.

Rubbing my hands together, I felt hesistant to take anything that belonged to him. I didn't want to give him any wrong idea that he had already manifested in his mind regarding both of us. It's just a handkerchief, I thought as I grabbed it from his hand and placed it against my cheek as I dabbled the tears that made their way down.

"Tears don't suit the enigma you have." My hand stopping against my cheek as I looked up at him as he gave me a soft smile.

"What enigma?" I questioned softly as I looked at him curiously as he placed his hands in his pockets.

"That is for you to recognize. I'm only the mirror that can reflect an illusion of you," He noted as I felt my eyes widen at the depth of his statement. Illusion? Mirror? I felt my mind fogging up as I attempted to decode him as he smiled and kept his gaze still upon me. I looked into his eyes attempting to see the mirror that is reflecting me, but I couldn't find it. All I found was a cloud of darkness guarding his thoughts.

"I cannot understand the mystery you are, but it's a mystery I want to know more about." He noted as I lowered my gaze. I hiccupped another short breath as I wiped away my tear.

I felt my cheeks redden as his words were enveloping me and trapping me with thoughts I would dare to not have. His words catching hold of the anxiety living and breathing inside of me as they attempted to calm down the darkness it held. I shouldn't be attracted to his words. I shouldn't dare to do so.

"Look...I am already not in the best state and it's best we....we..don't talk about that subject," I noted as he raised his eyebrow at me.

"I won't. Now will you continue to cry? I mean everyone is watching you."

I looked around over my shoulder as I noticed a crowd of people looking towards the both of us as they whispered to each other. I noted a few smirks and chuckles as they shared mysterious conversations with each other.

Shrugging my shoulders, I smiled at my state as I threw my head up in the air. "I don't care what they think. I have cried too many times in public that it doesn't matter to me anymore." His eyes widening at my statement as I placed the handkerchief in front of him.

"Tears cannot be barrowed and exchanged for personal gain." I said as he pursed his lips together realizing I understood what he was doing. I could understand he was toying with my thoughts and catching me in a vulnerable state. I shook my head as I walked towards the exit door.

Slamming the auditorium's door open, I quickened my pace down the hallway as I wiped away my tears from the back of my hand. Well this is not the night I expected. Well I am stupid to expect everything would go right. In my life nothing has ever gone right. Considering, my parents and I remained working class for most of life. My parents never got a roof above their head that they could call their own. And of course the fact I barely got into medical school is another thing to point at. I took a deep breath as I attempted to calm myself down, but failed as I ran down the flight of stairs and out the doors of the building.

I mean my idea is not that stupid. What is wrong if I want to voice against disproportionate access to healthcare that exists in society? So what if I don't want to drown myself in the science lab? So what? I thought as I began walking down the steps of the building.

Taking my phone out, I tapped the Uber app attempting to find a driver, but with no luck. Great. Well this is just awesome. I thought to myself as I sat down on the stairsteps waiting patiently for one driver to show up nearby. Considering this is a city, I thought Uber drivers would be freely available, but then again I am wrong. This is a city and today is a Saturday, so obviously Uber drivers would be busy.

I sat in silence as I sucked in the cool air. I felt goosebumps slowly appearing on my arms as I sat ignorantly without a care or concern of the cold. All my thoughts focused on the moment Professor Smith snatched the last hope I had. God, this research project meant a lot to me. What am I going to do now since nobody wants to support it and offer to fund it? I sighed as I tapped my foot loudly against the ground in frustration.

Suddenly, I felt my arms flying up in the air as I felt a powerful jolt. My head slamming hard against the ground as I looked up realizing someone was running fast as he held my clutch in his hands. What the hell. I felt my legs beginning to weaken and shake as my hands began trembling. My heart racing fast against my chest as I quickly got up on my feet.

"Hey! Stop!" I began yelling loudly as the man looked back at me and made a fast run down the street.

"Stop right there!" I suddenly turned around recognizing the voice and it was none other than Professor Oberoi's. He quickly ran down the steps pushing me aside as he began running fast after the thief.

"Stop! You'll get hurt!" I yelled at him as I began running after him.

Well, clearly today was the wrong day I chose to wear heels as I felt myself stumble against the sidewalk. Balancing myself, I made a quick dash after Professor Oberoi as he turned a corner running after the thief.

"Stop right there you bastard!" Professor Oberoi yelled as he pushed through a crowd of people running after the thief.

I quickened my pace as I jogged after him as Professor Oberoi ran more quickly before reaching out for his hand and grabbing the black jacket that laid on the thief's back. My eyes widened as he slammed the thief to the ground.

"And you thought you would get away from Shivaay Singh Oberoi. Huh?" Professor Oberoi announced proudly as he smirked and shook his head back and forth.

"Let go of me!" The thief exclaimed as Professor Oberoi snatched the clutch away from his hand.

"Get off of me!" The thief slammed his foot against Professor's Oberoi knee as he tripped and fell.

"Professor!" I quickly ran up to him as the thief made a dash.

"Are you ok?" I questioned a bit concerned as I knelt down next to him.

"Yeah...I'm good. Just a gold old kick in the knee I guess," He muttered as I held out my hand for him.

He looked up at me confused as I held my hand out for him to hold. As a human being, I should at least help him considering he got injured because of my stupid clutch. I looked up at him as I noticed a small smile on his face before placing a hand into mines' as I got up. Pulling his hand up towards me, I helped him get up.

"Here's your clutch." He held out the small silver clutch out for me. I felt a faint smile appear on my face as I looked at him. Why did he run after that thief for me? I mean considering how rude I have tonight, I didn't expect him to help me. Perhaps, I was wrong...wait...what am I thinking? I cannot even consider what I am thinking right now. I shook the thought out of my mind as I grabbed the clutch from him.

"Thank you. I mean you didn't have to..."

"But... I wanted to." He completed the sentence as he ran his hands through his hair as we began walking down the sidewalk.

"Still I mean it was just a clutch," I noted as I rubbed my hands against my arms trying to warm myself as the cold air brushed against me.

"A clutch that probably held valuables important to you." I bit my lip as I stopped a smile from appearing as I attempted to not give off the wrong impression to him that I was impressed by him. I don't think I was impressed by him. I mean I shouldn't be.

We walked in silence back towards the medical school building in silence. The only sound we heard was of our footsteps tapping loudly against the cement. The moonlight silently shining upon us as I heard the loud sound of music coming from the auditorium. The moon shines its blessings on some, but not all. I guess I was one of the unblessed ones.

I felt a warm soft cloth around me as my eyes widened realizing it was his coat. Looking up at him confused, I stopped in my footsteps.

"What are you doing?" I questioned as I looked at him a bit taken aback from his sudden move.

"You were feeling cold and I-"

"I can go back and get my coat. I don't need yours'," I noted as I began taking off the coat handing it off to him as he held his hand up.

"Don't think I have wrong intentions because I don't." He noted as he took a step towards me as I took a step back.

His gaze a flame that attempted to melt the cold demeanor I was attempting to give him. Yes, I was aware I was being cold towards him, but I had my reasons. Good reasons. First, he's my professor and school policy prevents any such attractions or relationships. Second....well I couldn't think of a second reason as of now. I mean what is there to think about?

He is nice Anika. Also, has any man given you the attention that he is giving you? Weren't you just dreading moments ago about couples enjoying each other and having fun? I bet you want that. My brain spoke up. Ignore the thought Anika. It's just your hidden unconscious thoughts. Don't delve into it. I broke the thought as I began biting my lip.

"You're my professor," I mumbled as I looked into his eyes attempting to decode his thoughts.

"Well...I mean not your professor. Finals ended and I submitted your final grade. The student professor relationship is over," He said as he smiled and placed his hands in his pockets giving a proud demeanor as he looked at me. I could tell he was feeling satisfied from winning.

I rolled my eyes as I began playing with a small flower shaped ring on my finger, twisting and turning it in nervousness. He's really good at trapping people in their words. Well, then he technically is not my professor, but still a faculty member at this school.

"You're a faculty member." I smirked as I slightly challenged his statement as he eyes widened realizing I was toying with his mind.

He took a deep sigh in frustration as he roughened his hair. His eyes showing a hint of darkness and determination. I felt my heart skipping as I felt something was odd and different about him, but couldn't pinpoint what it was.

"I will drop you off home if you want me to," He said as he changed the conversation's topic.

"Um...no thank you. I will get an Uber," I said as I turned on Uber app on my phone. He peered over my shoulder as he looked at the app. I waited patiently, but no Uber driver appeared to book me. Oh God great. I felt my palms getting sweaty as I felt Professor Oberoi staring intently at me.

"Um...there will be one here soon. You can go if you wish."

"No Anika. I will drop you off at your house. If you so know it is hard finding Uber drivers on a busy Saturday in the city." He noted as he smiled as I sighed in annoyance.

He does make a valid point. I could get a taxi, but then they would also likely be busy. I cannot walk to my apartment since it's far away. Great just great. Now I have the possibility of being dropped by him. Won't this be fun? I thought sarcastically.

"I won't bring up the topic that you don't want to talk about. I promise," He said with a playful smile as I rolled my eyes with a faint smile.

"Fine," I muttered as he smiled as we began walking towards the parking lot behind the school building.

"You could get your coat if you want to Anika."

Looking back at the building as I heard loud cheers and music emerging from it, I decided to not go. I don't want to go back. I mean the moment I think of that stupid building, I think of the daggering rejection Professor Smith gave me. I know everyone might think why I am being so weird about going to building and getting my coat? But, they don't know that my anxiety loves to toy with my brain and make me think irrationally.

"I will get it later," I mumbled as we walked to a parked black Porsche that was his.

Opening the passenger side door for me, Professor Oberoi smugly smiled at me as I avoided his gaze and took a seat. Slamming the door shut, he quickly ran around the car and grabbed his seat on the driver's side.

"Buckle up. I like to speed," Professor Oberoi said smiling as my eyes widened at his statement.

"What?!" I exclaimed as he pressed the race hard and reversed his car with a swift turn.

"What? Do you think I am that old?" He smirked as he began to chuckle as he put on his shades. Shades?! At night?! I never have met such an odd person in my life.

Pressing the gas pedal, he made a right turn and began speeding down the street. Clasping my hands together in nervousness, I attempted to calm down as he continued to speed down the empty narrow street.

"Which way is your apartment?" He asked.

"Pine Apartments. It's on fourteenth street," I noted as he shook his head and made a left turn.

"Can you please slow down?!" I ordered as he chuckled and looked back at me.

"My car. My rules." He announced as he sped downhill. Clasping my hand against my chest, I attempted to breathe and be calm, but couldn't as I closed my eyes shut grabbing on to his arm tightly.

"Slow down please!" I tightened my grip on his arm in fear as I felt my nails digging deep into the white cotton shirt he wore.

"Anyways. I can fund and guide your research project. I will be your PI." My eyes immediately opened as I looked back at him. Did I correctly hear what he just said? I raised my eyebrow as I looked at him confused as he smiled and drove ahead.

"You can close your mouth." He noted as I immediately shut my mouth as he smirked.

"I like your idea. I am a faculty member and can support your project."

"H-how did you hear about my idea?" I questioned curiously as I attempted to decode his intentions. He cannot just support me without no reason at all. There has to be more to it.

"Hmm...well I heard your conversation with Professor Smith. He described negatively, but I like the idea. I mean my hospital branch and I look forward to such research. In fact, I have done research on public health issues before, so I like your topic. When shall we meet?" He questioned as we stopped at a red light.

I sat shocked as I heard his words. What? He likes my idea? I mean he is willing to fund my project and guide me. Wow. I should have asked him in the first place, but then after that awkward moment in his apartment and considering our hostile encounter before regarding the car accident we had, I thought I shouldn't approach. But, should I agree? I mean I should since I don't have any professor supporting m at the moment. He is the only one willing to be my PI. Wow, I smiled slightly at the idea.

"You can let go of my arm," He noted as I looked back at my hand that dug into his arm. I looked up at him as my hand didn't move once as if it was stuck like glue to it. I felt my cheeks redden as I looked up at him catching his gaze upon me.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I took my hand away from his arm.

"Um...thank you. This means a lot to me. But what about funding? I thought you yourself was looking for a grant for your project," I said as I remembered that disastrous event we had at the coffee shop where I had charged at him about the insurance claim for the car accident in front of an individual who he was vouching for a grant. I remember how he lost it.

I noticed his eyes darkening as he looked away and pressed the gas as the light turned green. He appeared to clench his teeth and fists as he made a turn. He appeared to have a change in his demeanor.

"Um...I...I have grant money to support this project. I specifically have put this grant money aside to fund projects for students working under my eye of course. I mean you project wouldn't require too much funding am I correct? Don't worry we can work out the kinks. Just say yes or no," He ordered as he drove.

Say Yes Anika. This is your moment, so just say yes. This is the only way to get your research done.

"Um...yes. Thank you. I really appreciate your support," I said as I smiled as a small smile appeared on his face.

"I am happy to. We can then catch a meeting to work out the plans alright? I will email you. Also, if you want to work with me then please don't cry. Tears don't suit you."

https://youtu.be/2IGDsD-dLF8

I looked back at him as he entered the back driveway of the apartment complex where I lived. I felt a tightened knot in my stomach as I kept my gaze still at him. My eyes taking in his smallest details as I found myself staring at the small trail of birthmarks near the edge of strong jawline that projected a darkening beard. His soft brown hair falling down near the edge of his neck as he appeared to run his hands through it.

Turning his head towards me, I caught a glance of his icy gray-blue eyes as I found my reflection in it. His eyes are a mirror. I reminded myself of his words he spoke at the formal as I bit my lip feeling my heartbeat lightly beating against my chest.

"I wish I could lengthen our paths..."He said in a lowered voice as I lowered my eyes clasping my hands together nervously.

"Um...what do you mean?"

"You will slowly begin to understand what my words mean Anika. You have time," He said as he let out a light laugh under his breath.

"Thank you for willing to give me a chance," I said as he shook his head.

"Well you deserve a chance. But, remember...don't let others doubt or question or capabilities. The world is worse than you may think..."

"I know, but what can I say. I see the world as an illusion and want to mold it the way I would want it to be. I guess I am wrong. I shouldn't mold others." I smiled at my foolish thoughts as I threw my head against the seat.

"Mold them how?" He questioned curiously as he raised his eyebrow looking towards me.

"Mold them, so for once they cannot be selfish and full of greed like Professor Smith. But, I guess I am selfish myself for wanting the world to be the way I want it to be."

"I would want someone to mold me like that," He said as looked towards him as he edged his elbow next to mines'.

"Greed and selfishness are what I have lived in throughout my life. It's an intoxication that I want to get rid of. It's an intoxication that no one can get rid of ever." He pulled his lips against his teeth and shook his head.

"Greed and selfishness can only be good and powerful in one thing."

"What is that Anika?"

"Love," I said as he kept his gaze still at his hands as he looked up at me as if he was making a connection of his fate to me. He smiled as he tried to make sense of what I said. I slightly smiled at my metaphor as I knew my words had trapped him in confusion.

"I shall get going," I said as I hindered his thought and opened the door. I began walking towards the main entrance of the apartment as I felt a drizzle of rain beginning to fall upon me.

"Wait!" He called out as he got out and paced himself after me.

Stopping in my tracks, I looked at him in confusion as he walked towards me.

"What?" I questioned in confusion as he got to me and stood in front of me.

"Um...um...why do I feel so different in the smallest moments I share with you? Huh? I know I said I won't talk about that subject, but why am I forgetting all the rules and wanting....wanting to be near you, listening to you, and...why do you understand me?"

I stood dumbfounded as I didn't know what to say. I felt the rain continuing to drizzle and bring in a force of energy that ignited feelings I wanted to submerge. Clenching my fists tightly, I took a deep breath as I attempted to think clearly and logically, but couldn't. The logic was gone. All of it.

Without saying a word, he took a step closer towards me as I stood still. Not moving an inch as I waited for his next steps. Grabbing a hold of the collar of his black coat that still clung tightly to my body, he pulled me closer as my eyes stood still at his face. He took a deep breath as his eyes took in my smallest details. My gaze slowly lowering as I felt his cool body an inch away from mines'.

"We can never come on the same path....It's like the river and the moon...the moon can shine on the river, but never touch its depths..." I whispered as he lowered his head listening to my words closely. I felt his skin softly touching my ear.

"I know...but I want the illusion that I can..." He whispered as I felt my body tremble. Without a moment to think, I felt a soft touch against my cheek.

I felt my heart fluttering against my chest as the warmth of his lips laid against my cheek. I stood still as I lowered my head against his shoulder as I wanted myself to lay in that illusion. His hands standing still against the collar of his coat that held on to me.

His lips slowly letting go of my skin as I felt it heat up under his touch. His hands loosening their grip as he let go of me. I felt the cold wind rushing against my cheeks that were grazed by his touch. I sucked in the cool air as I awoke from the illusion as he took a step back. A faint smile appeared on his face as he lowered his head and looked at the dirt beneath our feet.

He softly spoke, "This dirt might malign us, but for me that doesn't matter. What matters is to be in your presence. I don't crave to touch you or hold you. I crave to be next to you. I crave to unravel your thoughts and make them mine Anika. Time is what you are asking and I will give it. But, don't think I will run away from the dirt of illusions of the world."

I felt my body harden with the cold, but I knew he lit a fire inside of me that I could not blow away. He shook his head as he bit his lip and smiled before turning away towards his car as he sat inside of it.

The rain began to fall as it ignited and burned against my body. My eyes not letting go the sight of him as he reversed his car. I noticed his gaze that followed along me as I began walking towards the apartment even though my heart begged to turn towards him.

He sped away leaving me alone in the illusion he caged me in.

Flashback Ends:

https://youtu.be/NMC3QRhX43Y

"May I can come in?" I heard a loud knock as I split from my illusion. My eyes widening as I realized who it was. Shivaay.

Raising my head above the pillow, I looked up at him as he slightly smiled. There was an awkward silence as he stood by the door as I looked away.

"Did you ever come with permission in my life?...That now you are asking to come in my room?" I questioned as I looked up at him as he took a deep sigh. Laying his body against the gray hospital door as the color of his suit merged with it.

I stared at the cloudy sky outside as I noticed rain lightly drizzling against my window.

"Why do you make everything so difficult?" He asked urging me for an answer as I shook my head and played with my fingers.

"Says the man who places a bed of nails in front of his lover and tells her to walk on it because it gives him pleasure," I replied smugly as his eyes widened as he slowly walked towards me.

I felt my feet curling up in his presence as I attempted to calm down. Why am I getting so frustrated and angry towards him? Is it the memories that I keep flashbacking on which keep slicing each feeling of love and passion I had for him.

"Bed of nails?" He took a seat on the small stool next to my bed as he looked up at me wanting to get clarity on my statement.

"Yes...everytime...everytime...I try to remind myself that the breaths I am taking is because of you....because of your breaths that saved me yesterday....I cannot stop thinking about the moments we shared. Each and every one Shivaay. Each moment I added to an illusion which you enveloped me with. Each moment is a nail that pierces in my soul and doesn't want to let go of...Am I wrong? Wrong in saying you those nails are yours?"

He sat still as his eyes stood still on me. Loss of emotions embracing him tightly as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. We sat in silence as the rain began scratching the windows violently. Lightening bursting and firing as I heard the wind howl and break the silence in the room.

"Those are the nails that I pierced myself with too Anika. You are the not only one."

My face shifting up towards him as he opened his eyes taking me in with his words. Placing his hand against his lips as he rubbed them lightly.

"Those moments...those moments pierce me. They question my soul and question why...why did I dare to ignite a fire that only burned you and me. Most of all...why did I dare to burn you?"

I felt a tear parting from my eye as I felt my breaths skipping. Tugging on the bed sheet tightly, I attempted to release my frustration...an untold anger that I had been poisoning me for years.

A poison that had spread through each piece of my soul and attempted to devour me.

"Then why?! Why?! Your greed and selfishness ruined me Shivaay!" I slammed my fist against the pillow as I began digging my fingernails into it. Tears continuing to part form my soul as I threw my head up in the air in frustration.

"I know! I know it ruined you Anika! And it ruined me too!" He yelled as he grabbed my arm pulling me close.

His head lowering as he looked down at me. Struggling, to wrangle my arm out of his grip as I looked away disgusted with his presence.

"But...yesterday...yesterday what happened was real....When you were slipping away from me, I felt like everything was ending. Ending for me! Ending for us!"

"Well everything ended! Everything did Shivaay and you yourself burned it and threw the ashes at me!"

He took a deep breath as his face reddened in anger. Pushing me away, he grabbed the large basket of lilies and threw them on the floor. Running his hands through his hair, he laid his hands behind his neck as he looked at me.

"Don't do this Anika. Don't," He warned pointing his finger at me as I began crying throwing my head against the pillow, wincing in pain as I placed my hand against the rib.

He sighed as I felt him sitting on the bed next to me as I turned towards my side looking away from him. We sat in silence as I could only hear the storm crashing and cursing our lives.

"Anika...why are you hurting yourself more?" He softy spoke as I felt his hand laying close to my body.

I didn't speak a word as I placed my hands underneath the side of my face attempting to keep calm.

"Why are you here today? Priyanka is supposed to be getting married in two hours and here you are. Sitting here next to me like an idiot. Just leave alright?" I muttered as I snuggled my nose into my pillow closing my eyes shut. I felt tears slowly sliding down the side of my nose.

"Anika...I...I...just wanted to see...if...if you're ok..." He spoke softly as I shook my head and looked away.

"Well...here I am. I am great. Now don't worry...I won't complain about Priyanka if you just wanted to come and make sure I wouldn't. Priyanka is like a sister to me and I know that you are aware that I would never do anything to hurt her!" I exclaimed as I picked my head up from the pillow and gazed at his faded reflection in the window across from me. He appeared to shake his head back and forth as he laid his hands against his lips in frustration.

"You're feeling anxious again aren't you?" He questioned as I shrugged my shoulder realizing he was correct.

I was having a small bout of anxiety. It's just the loneliness I was facing for hours in this room led me to think and contemplate upon every single moment Shivaay and I shared. The thoughts keep continuing and are not stopping no matter what. I tried deep breathing and methods of calming my racing thoughts, but nothing worked. All the thoughts were triggered from my continuous questioning of why Shivaay showed so much care to me yesterday.

Suddenly, I heard a loud knock on the door as it opened.

"Well, you finally got them here," Shivaay said as he appeared to get up from the bed.

"Thanks...just wait outside. I will be there in ten minutes," Shivaay noted as he closed the door.

I closed my eyes pretending to ignore him even though my ears were open listening to each and every move of his.

I heard a loud noise as I looked up as a vase of red and yellow roses appeared. My eyes widening as I looked at him in confusion as he looked back towards me. He held a small envelope in front of me as I grabbed hold of it.

"Hope you get better Anika," He noted and he walked away, slamming the door shut.

I looked at the light pink envelope curiously as I opened it, pulling out a small pink card.

My hands trembling as I opened the card and began reading it.

Anika,

I cannot answer the questions you asked me yesterday, but all I can say is that you have to move forward in life. You got a new lease of life yesterday and deserve every bit of it. You use this new lease of life and pursue your dreams and aspirations. You deserve happiness that I failed to give you. Our marriage...our marriage molded me into someone who I had wanted to be my entire life. The marriage we had was the one I always wanted. You were perfect. You were perfect in every single sense, but I was not. Greed and selfishness burned our relationship. My greed and selfishness burned it. Witnessing the pain you have undergone and still suffer from has led me to be aware of how much you deserve happiness Anika. Someone better...a better person deserves you. All I want to say is you deserve happiness, so go and claim it.

-Shivaay

A small tear dropped on the card as I felt my heart ache. I began to hiccup as I tried to catch my breath as I realized the death of a relationship had occurred. Why Shivaay? Why did you ruin something so beautiful we had? Why couldn't my love for you overpower your selfishness and greed? Shivaay, what have you done?

Running my hands through the roses, I looked at their life realizing fate had indeed given me a new lease of life. They were not aged like the rose Shivaay gave me yesterday. I sighed as I tried to gather courage as I wanted to thank fate at the new lease of life I had gotten, but all I could think was about Shivaay and I. I could only think of the love I had for him.

Looking outside the window towards the storm, I found myself comforted by it and the loneliness that it brought. I sighed as I ran my fingers through the card as I held it against my chest. Was this the closure I needed? Have our paths truly parted?

____________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading such long chapters :) Please do comment and like if you wish to :) Also, please read my independent fictional novel The Web of Love Tales

https://www.wattpad.com/756284965-the-web-of-love-tales-chapter-1-the-storm

I promise this novel will intrigue you. I worked really hard on this independent novel and got such rare views that I pulled it off Wattpad, but I have decided to give it another chance. Lol :D Please give it a chance. Thank you :)

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