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Hello everyone :) Surprise!!! So, I wrote one chapter for this story and decided to give an early surprise and publish it. But wait...there is more! I will be posting Chapter 14 by this Friday or Saturday and I promise you it will be funfilled :) This chapter is more of the start of the new track, so you might find it as a filler. I don't know how you will feel about it or like it, but I decided to post it because this is a filler chapter that explores the depths of Shivaay and Anika's present day confusion and past toxic relationship...This chapter gives a foreshadowing of what might happen. The next chapter will be more power packed :) I promise :) Feel free to give positive and negative feedback.

Also, I worked really hard to get this chapter in on time, but please feel free to tell me if you liked it or not as I know it is a filler chapter. Thank you :)

Thank you for 14K views!!!! I do not know how to express my joy and thank you God and thank you to all of you lovely readers who have spent your time reading this story. I am so happy you have enjoyed this unique idea.

NEW SHIVIKA STORY BY ME: But there's more... I am introducing a very unique story and some might not like it, but I decided to be brave and post a new story on Shivika. The story is called "The Bond of Love and Hate" and I posted the prologue (a sneak peek and background of the story) along with a character sketch. Please do check it out and let me know if I should continue writing the story :) Thank you so much :)

https://www.wattpad.com/story/197894144-the-bond-of-love-and-hate-shivika

Thank you so much for reading and please do not forget to follow me on Twitter on JasmineDarcie

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Shivaay's Point of View

https://youtu.be/uQCV5iVCpx4

I sat in silence as I looked up at the dancing crowd in front of me. Priyanka smiling and laughing as she held Akash's hand up in the air and cheered. Joy and excitement filling the air at the wedding reception as everyone drank, smoked, and danced the night away.

Taking myself away from the crowd, I had sat a distance far away for hours as I continued to drink. Taking a sip of vodka, I attempted to poison the emotions I felt. I took a deep breath as I stared at my reflection on the marble floor.

All I could think about was Anika. No matter how hard I tried to think about something else...somehow my thoughts merged their path and ended at Anika. I hope she read the note. Every single word I wrote in that card was genuine. I genuinely want her to move on in life and forget us. Forget that we ever even existed. I don't know why, but I cannot see her struggling and walking on the bed of nails I had laid out for her. I do realize I have hurt her...I do realize I have ruined her...all because of my greed. Our entire relationship was based on selfishness and greed. I don't know why I am feeling so empty. I don't know why I feel the pain of the nails that I myself have pierced in her life. I don't know why I cannot see her crying and shattering. All I know is that the only way I can relieve myself from this guilt is by letting her go and move forward.

Grabbing the glass of vodka, I walked in silence as I felt my life being sucked out of me. My thoughts reminding me of her tears. I felt an unusual ache in my soul as I couldn't let go of my thoughts surrounding Anika. I took a deep breath as I pushed myself through a crowd of dancers and walked out to the large hotel balcony.

Why can I not stop thinking about Anika? Ever since I met her after five years, I seem to think of her all the time. Especially, since Anika almost drowned...I cannot stop thinking of her. I don't know why I keep thinking of her...Especially all those moments we shared. What is wrong with me? I threw my head up as I looked at the cloudy, dark night.

What have I done Anika? What have I done to you? I took a deep breath as I placed my hand tightly around the railings of the balcony. Shivaay you did the right thing by writing that letter to Anika. That letter would help her move on and that's what you wanted right? Don't you want Anika to forget about her and your relationship and just move on? I do want her to move on, but then why is a part of me aching and not wanting her to let go of me? What is going on with me?

"You ok Shivaay?" I suddenly looked up at Om as I broke out of trance. Looking away, I took another sip of my drink.

"Why are you here?" I asked coldly.

"Because I am worried about you. Throughout the entire wedding today and the reception, you have been so aloof. You barely participated in any of the rituals..."

"Ha...rituals? Oh wow...I didn't know that our family takes wedding rituals so seriously...Hmm? That's why all weddings that have happened so far in this family have been business deals right?" I questioned as I raised my eyebrow at him.

Om's mouth slightly widening as he appeared a bit taken aback from my blatant comment.

"Shivaay...what are you saying?" He said appearing to act confused as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well...let's see you and Gauri had an arranged marriage as part of a business deal Papa had with her father. Priyanka is supposedly in love with Akash, but we all know the reason why Papa and Ma married her off with Akash is because Akash belongs to an influential family. And of course...lastly me..."I paused as I thought about Anika and our marriage.... I sighed as I realized I myself had partook in the greed as well.

"Tia and I of course...the business deal of century that made my ex father-in-law fund my business project that helped expand our hospitals...A marriage that ruined me..." I noted as I took a large sip of vodka slamming the glass against the railing.

Om stood still as he furrowed is eyebrows while he clenched his jaw tightly. I knew I had touched a soft spot since I unraveled a gray shade of his. He had greed. He had greed to get married into a family where that family could fund his start up company. I smirked as I shook my head back and forth.

"You are toxic...You truly are. Even on such a positive day, you found a way to spread your toxicity to others," Om said with a tinge of frustration as I began to chuckle at his comment.

"That's me Om. I love being toxic. I guess I am a sadistic," I sarcastically remarked as Om rolled his eyes at me.

"I can never understand you Shivaay. I can never tell what's going on your mind..."

"That's good! It's good to hide intentions Om..." I noted as I smirked.

"Come on let's go as it's time for the bidaai," Om said as I rolled my eyes and walked into the reception hall.

The Next Day

Anika's Point of View

"I am happy your health has improved dear," Mom said as she helped me sit down on my bed. I slightly smiled as she sat down next to me.

"You mean the world to me Anika...I am so happy you were saved." Mom began to tear up as I placed my arm around her shoulder trying to comfort her.

"Mom, please don't cry. I have improved and I am well. This is all that matters."

"I know Anika, but after...remember how you stopped speaking to me and your dad for two years while in medical school? Those two years were awful. I felt as if a piece of my heart had been ripped apart...I cannot afford to lose you again," Mom said as I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I hugged her tightly.

I reminded myself of those two years...the years Shivaay and I were together. I felt a heavy guilt building up on my chest as I realized how much I had hurt my parents due to my actions. Actions taken due to my emotional undertakings. Oh God...how will I show my face to God for all the lies and deceits I committed by hurting my parents?

"It was our fault anyways...that's why you stopped speaking," Mom noted as I shook my head back and forth against her shoulder as I wanted to scream out the truth, but I couldn't realizing it would hurt her and ruin everything I have with my parents.

"Ok...I will stop now...Hm? Now I will go and get you some lunch ok?" Mom said as I smiled and shook my head weakly as she left.

I took a deep breath as I laid my head against the pillow staring up at the ceiling. What have I done? My one mistake has set me on a path of lies that have led me endure pain and guilt every single day. If only I hadn't believed in you Shivaay...If only I hadn't trusted you...But, I must forget all of this. I must forget about Shivaay and once in for all relieve myself of this guilt by moving forward and thinking about my future.

Perhaps, Shivaay's letter pursued me to move on. The last person in the world who I would have expected to help me move on would be Shivaay, but I guess I was wrong. I don't know if I am truly over him and can forget about him, but I do know that our relationship has died. His letter has proven to provide closure to our relationship and has led me to believe that our relationship has died and there is nothing more to it.

I heard my phone ring as it vibrated against the nightstand. Grabbing the phone, I looked at the unknown number as I looked at it curiously.

"Hello," I said a bit confused about the person on the other side of the phone.

"Hey Anika, this is Armaan..." My eyes widened as I suddenly got up on my bed a bit confused regarding how he got my number.

"How did you get my number?" I questioned as I catched a breath.

"I got it from Priyanka actually. I got the number the day she was super drunk at the haldi," Armaan noted laughing slightly as I rolled my eyes and got up walking towards my window.

"Anyways, how are you Anika? How's your ribcage doing?"

"I am good. The pain on my rib has slightly decreased" I replied as I could not think of anything else to say. I mean I have always been awkward around strangers and I can never find the right words to say. It's part of my personality.

"Good...um...so about coffee or tea? Are we still up for it?" He questioned as I felt he had a goofy smile on his face as I heard his voice.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes. I guess Armaan is not going to give up so soon. I mean he's a nice guy, but I don't know if I should go ahead and give him a chance. I don't know even if I am ready to just move on to someone else in my life. Well...I do have a right to because my last relationship was five years ago with Shivaay. Armaan is Shivaay's cousin, but he is so much more than that. I cannot just define him and his personality from Shivaay's personality. But, isn't wrong for me to give him a chance? I shouldn't over think this. If fate is giving me a chance to move on with someone else then I should considering Armaan has been pursuing me for days and this might be a signal from fate.

"Hello? Earth to Anika!" Armaan exclaimed laughing as I slightly smiled and looked out the window.

"Fine I will go with you," I muttered as I heard him lightly laugh.

"That's great...I look forward to meeting you and getting to know more about you. How about today evening at Anne's Café?" Armaan chimed as he attempted to flirt.

"Ok...I will see you there," I replied, a soft smile appearing across my lips as I turned off the phone.

Armaan seems nice. He seems genuine and friendly. I mean I should give him a chance. Why do I keep repeating these thoughts? Is it a way to console the seemingly small guilt I may be having from taking the step to go on a date with my ex-husband's cousin? I sighed as I attempted to shake the thought out of my mind. So what if he is Shivaay's cousin? I shouldn't let go of fate.

Shivaay's Point of View:

https://youtu.be/5FoD_0vJYZM

I sat in silence as I placed my hands against my forehead. Images of her crying repeatedly coming in front of me. Her deep brown eyes glistening with tears from the pain I had given her. I took a large sigh as I placed my head against the sofa.

Why can I not stop thinking about her? Ever since I wrote that letter and walked away from that hospital room, I cannot stop thinking of her. It's been two days and still all I can think about is her. Keep thinking of each and every moment we shared with one another. This was supposed to be easy. I mean the plan was to give Anika closure, so she can move on in her life and I can feel free to continue on with my life then why is everything so hard?

"You ok?" Suddenly knocking myself out of a convolution of thoughts I looked up realizing it was Omkara.

Rolling my eyes, I looked away as I placed my leg over the other. Placing my gaze outside as I stared at the green hills set at a distance outside behind the backyard.

"Om...can you just please leave me alone?" I said with a tinge of frustration as I kept staring outside of the living room window.

"What is wrong Shivaay? I mean...why aren't you behaving like normal? You are more aloof than usual, and you haven't eaten all day..."

"So?!" Swiftly turning my head towards him, I threw him a glare catching him off guard as he took a step away from me.

"I know something is wrong...I just know it," He noted as he took a seat across from me as I rolled my eyes and placed my eyes on the crème colored ceiling above me. The color revealing my future...blank. There was nothing to it.

"Om can we not talk about what's wrong...hmm? I have the right to privacy on this matter..." I said as Om raised his eyebrow at me.

"So there is something wrong huh?"

I sighed as I pulled myself up from the back of the sofa as I learned forward looking at him eye to eye.

"This is my matter and that's about it, Om. Do I ever ask you what's going on in your life?" I questioned knowing I had touched a sensitive territory as he bit his lip.

"So you know?" He questioned trying to understand if I knew everything.

"Oh yeah...the part that Gauri is tired of living in this utterly messed up family right?" I said nonchalantely as Om sighed as he looked away avoiding my gaze.

"How do you know?"

"I saw you both fighting and screaming your lungs out at the parking lot after the reception ended," I noted as Om sighed as he looked up at me. I shrugged my shoulder and took a sip of lemonade to heal the hangover from last night.

"I don't know what's wrong with Gauri. I mean we have been married for quite a while and she never complained back then, so what happened?" Om questioned.

Twirling the blue colored straw in the glass I looked up at him as if I was a marriage expert. Clearly, I am not since I secretly married a girl and divorced her to only marry another woman who cheated on me that led to another divorce. Hmm...if Om you only knew that the small issue you may be having with Gauri is nothing compared to what I did to Anika and what I went through while I was married to Tia. If only you knew...

"Why ask me? I'm not a relationship expert considering I got divorced,"I noted letting out a small laugh. A laugh on the relationships my fate had endowed at me...relationships where I failed to seek love, but only satisfaction of ego.

"I know, but you were married once. I mean tell me. What do you think happened? I cannot figure a way of solving this issue."

"How am I supposed to know? You tell me what went wrong!" I noted as I laid back in the sofa looking up at him.

"Well...she said she's tired...Tired of everything I guess. She says the family is too much. Meaning Ma and Dadi are too picky and then the kids are a handful. I don't know..."Om looked up at me hopelessly. I have never seen him like this. Om is one of the most optimistic people I know. He's the complete opposite of me. No matter how much he annoys me, he's still my brother I guess.

"Well I mean you should remain calm and try to talk to her alone and figure out what is going on with her right?"

I sighed as I laid my head against the couch in silence. Who am I to give him this advice? As if I ever followed it. In fact, I always did the complete opposite. Not once thinking about her, but always about me and my needs and desires.

Flashback:

"Shivaay! Shivaay please wait for me!" I heard her screaming after me as I quickened my pace walking quickly down the sidewalk. Her footsteps quickening as she attempted to catch up to me pace.

My body heating up against the cool night. Biting my lip, I attempted to control my anger as I clenched my fists tightly. How could she just talk to him like that? How many times have I told her to avoid him?

"Shivaay just listen to me for once!" Her hand grabbing tightly on to my arm as I stopped in my tracks.

"Believe me Shivaay, Mr. Kapoor approached me! I was avoiding him like you told me to!" I looked up at the brown eyes in front of me as they appeared to blur with tears that she attempted to hold back.

"Anika, how am I supposed to believe you huh? I have told you numerous times to avoid Mr. Kapoor because he is not a man of character! You know that as well and honestly I just talk to him on business matters since he's been my father's client for years! But you!"

She shook a little bit as she took a step back. Tears flowing down her cheeks as she stood still not once moving a muscle. Her head lowered as she kept still not making any eye contact. She knew well I couldn't see her like this, but what am I supposed to do? The way that Kapoor stood close to her and was smiling with her...attempting to lure her into his trap. I mean how can I see a stranger flirting with my wife?

"Shivaay...I...didn't mean to..."She whispered as she began to hiccup and catch breaths. Grabbing her golden dupatta she placed it again her mouth as she attempted to suppress her tears. She sighed as she looked back towards the crowd of people walking past us on the sidewalk as they gave side eyes to us. Swiftly, turning towards the brick wall, she dragged her golden anarkali suit with her as she leaned her head against the brick wall.

Why is she so complicated? She never listens to what I tell her to do and then she starts crying for no reason. I shook my head back and forth as I took a step towards her as she took a step back.

"I am your husband and you are supposed to listen to me. I mean what do you expect? That I will tolerate you talking with other men?!" I exclaimed as I noticed her shake as she picked up her tearful eyes and looked at me.

"What are you saying Shivaay? Are you accusing me of...? I cannot believe you! I cannot believe you would think....about me....in such a manner!" She exclaimed as she threw her head up in the air in frustration. He tears spewing out and merging with her chapped lips as she attempted to calm her nerves down.

"I did not say that, but Anika...we have rules in this marriage...Do you understand what I am saying?" I repeated as I grabbed her arm pulling her closer towards me.

My eyes stood still on the tears flowing down her cheeks endlessly. Not moving an inch, she stood still as she kept staring into space without acknowledging my presence. Anika should know best what my expectations are from this marriage yet she behaves as if she knows nothing. Nothing at all.

I felt her hand clasping on to mines that maintained its grasp on her arm. Her warm touch attempting to pull me out of anger. Her eyes latching on to mines' as she looked up at me. I sighed as I could see she was being honest. Honesty could be seen glistening through her eyes. I know I should believe her...but...I cannot see her with someone else...I know I am doing wrong with her. Hiding her in the shadows behind the veil of deceit I hold, but still...I don't know why my heart aches when I see her with any other man.

"I cannot believe...you have the audacity to say such chauvinistic things to me....I mean...I...I care for you and do everything for you because...I...I love you Shivaay....You're my husband, but I am your wife as well. You never owe me any explanations when you're out late at night partying. And I don't ask because I trust you...I trust our marriage...How can you expect that my love is so shallow for you...? This love I have for you has made me so vulnerable to you.This love makes me give in to each and every demand of yours'...but....I am your equal in this marriage. You have to give me respect and trust for the love I give you...The care I give you," She stopped as I felt her words choking on to my heart as I took a deep breath.

Each and every single word of hers grasping on to my heart tightly and not wishing to let go. Her love becoming a poison for the veil of deceit I held. I wanted to say so much, but her words had slashed my anger in pieces. She loves me. Love? What is love? Is it the love she shows when she patiently listens to my anger without saying a word? Is it love when she stays awake all night when I have a fever? Is it love when she holds my hand for hours? I took a deep breath as I stood in silence.

What am I doing to her? I cannot control her. I don't have any right to do so considering what I am doing to her...but how can I forget the insults? The insults she threw at me....No...She ruined Shivaay Singh Oberoi and in no way will I let her get away so easily. She deserves this type of marriage. She deserves every bit of it.

Looking back at the dried tears on my face, I felt a faint smile appear on my face realizing I had ruined her. Ruined her once more. Removing my hand away from her arm, I pushed her back lightly as I grabbed my car keys and began walking away towards my car.

"Where are you going Shivaay?!" She yelled as she began walking behind me.

"I am going home and you can go wherever you wish," I replied as I smirked as I grabbed open the door and sat into the driver's seat.

"You are going to just desert your wife in the middle of the night!" She began screaming as I she attempted to open the car's locked door.

"Get a taxi like you always do!" I yelled back as she began slamming her hands against the car window as I smirked and drove away leaving her behind in the dark.

Flashback Ends:

I cannot believe what I did that night? How could I have just abandoned her like that in middle of the night? What had gotten in me? Why was I so cruel to her? Looking back I can clearly see Anika was never at fault. Anika care so much for me. She really did love me and I...I used her love to satisfy my selfish desires...How can I ruin her just like that?

I heard a snap as I broke out of my thoughts looking up at Om.

"You ok? I have been talking to you for quite a while and here you are lost..."Om noted as he looked at me confused.

"I didn't mean to. I was just thinking about something," I mumbled as her innocent face flashed across my face. Why can I not stop thinking about her? What has gotten into me?

"About what? Probably Tia huh?" Om questioned curiously as I looked up at him. Tia? Why would I even think about her? Should I think about her? She was the recent person with whom I was romantically involved with, but then...why am I only thinking about Anika? I sighed as I placed my hand against the temple of my forehead.

"I get it...it was a tough break up. I mean it was a tough marriage you both had..."

"I guess it was..." I mumbled as I reflect on Anika and my marriage.

"Yeah...well Tia didn't fit into this family at all. Plus, you both had large egos."

"I guess." I sat still as I drowned myself into my thoughts again.

"What went wrong between you both? I mean how should I avoid the issues you both faced that led to a divorce?"

"Dominance and ego. I guess it was me. I wanted her to follow the rules and she did, but...I had a big ego. I neglected to appreciate her. Everything she did..." I stopped in my tracks as I realized I was talking about Anika.

"Tia? Tia did everything for you? Are you ok Shivaay?" Om questioned curiously as I threw him a glare.

"Look...all I can say is that at this moment of time you should just focus on your relationship and on Gauri. If things get worse then you might regret everything you said and did. I am pretty sure you love Gauri then try to understand her and fight for your relationship. Right?" I got up as I placed my hand on Om's shoulder.

"Do something now and sort out your relationship because it might be too late and then you won't be able to do anything like me..." I stopped as Om looked at me a bit taken aback by my comment. I weakly smiled as I patted his shoulder.

I guess I will never be able to move back time and do anything. If only I could then perhaps things would have been different. If only I realized my ego and realized what misdeeds I was doing. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair as I walked away into the alone darkness I had gathered and spread across my soul.

Evening

Anika's Point of View

I took a deep breath as I fidgeted with my black scarf and twirled it around the end of my thumb. I sighed as I let the scarf drop down and collapse against the dark pink kurta I wore. I looked up at the clock as I waited patiently for Armaan. I shouldn't have come early. I mean I should not be the one waiting. Armaan might think I am too desperate or something. I sighed as I sucked in a breath and looked around at the bustling café. Children running around wildely as their parents attempted to tame them. Students attempting to cram in last minute information before summer sessions ended for college. And of course the typical lovely couples.

My eyes following a young couple as they held hands and giggled with inside jokes as they sat across a table from me. Feeling a tinge of jealousy, I swiftly looked away attempting to change my train of thought, but somehow my eyes fell back at the couple. I shouldn't be jealous of strangers, but I am. Am I that desperate for happiness that now I get jealous by strangers? Why should I be jealous of them? But then I am. Perhaps, because I desperately want a relationship like that or had one like that before...The young man's blue-gray eyes shining and twinkling as they reminded me of Shivaay. The girl shyly avoiding his gazes reminded me of myself and how I behaved around Shivaay. Now I know why I am jealous of the couple...they remind me Shivaay and me-the romance we had many times at cafes like these...

Flashback:

https://youtu.be/bCkmvgjlQiQ

My eyes wandered to the dark clouds outside as it signaled the approach of a storm. The pupils of my eyes dilating as I witnessed a light flashing amongst the clouds as thunder soon followed. Taking a deep breath, I moved my gaze towards the blank paper in front of me as my pencil slid across it. My hands beginning to mimic the tracings of a row of trees that stood outside of the window. Sketching mindlessly, I attempted to reduce my anxiety regarding the meeting I was going to have with Professor Oberoi about my research project I wanted to pursue while in medical school.

I felt my stomach knot up as my palms became sweaty in nervousness. I had been waiting for him since an hour and half and he was nowhere in sight. I had even texted him, but I got no response at all. What if he decided to ditch me a the last minute? Oh God, he's my last and only hope. No other professor is willing to be my advisor and provide funding for this research project. At least he is willing to take this project under his wings and give it a try. Taking a deep breath, I attempted to calm down my anxiety which I only felt get exacerbated as each minute passed by. The soft jazz music playing in the café wasn't helping either. My eyes followed a crowd of students I was familiar with from school, as they left the cafe, but I attempted to avoid their gaze as I looked out the window only to find myself catching a familiar figure.

There he was, Professor Oberoi nonchalantly parking his Porsche at the parking meter as he attempted to squeeze it between two large trucks. Guess he wants to get into another car accident like he did with me. I thought as I rolled my eyes and looked away. My mind flashbacking to the moment we had shared outside the apartment after the winter formal that night. What was that? Did he really mean what he said? I felt my cheeks redden at the thought of it. Does he really like me? I mean why would he? Considering he is affluent and good looking, why would he be interested in me? But, his words seemed real. They felt real and I cannot just ignore them. But's dangerous territory, I mean he is a faculty member and it would be inappropriate if something happens between us...I cannot even think of such.

I heard a snap as I looked up only to meet the blue-gray eyes in front of me. A small smile appearing on his lips as he took a seat across from me. I slightly smiled as I dropped my pencil against my sketch and placed my hand over it to cover it. I am not that of an artist and might as well hide my drawing of stupidity.

"Hello Anika, sorry I am late. I was caught up in a meeting, but anyways, how are you doing?"

"I am great Professor Oberoi and you?" I replied as I felt my voice lightly shake in nervousness. My nervousness arising from the sheer bluntness with how his gaze attempted to unravel my soul. His presence creating a feeling of discomfort as I felt it somehow pulling me towards him. I kept my eyes lowered as I felt my cheeks redden in his mere presence. I know he's doing something to me. I know he is daring to cross the barriers we had.

"Um...great. Did you already get something to eat?" I looked up at him and shook my head in response as he lightly smiled and ran his hand through his hair.

"Waiting for me?" He noted as I felt my cheeks burning at this point. He was definitely attempting to ignite feelings I was suppressing inside of me.

I felt the cat catching my tongue as I did not know what to say. Playing with my fingers nervously, I attempted to think of something, but couldn't. Indeed, I was waiting for him. But, why was I so impatient during the wait? Why was I searching for him at ever point of the street? What is going on with me?

"Well, I will order something for both of us huh? This café makes the best California burrito."

"Burrito?" I questioned slightly chuckling realizing it was four in the evening and way past lunch, but he wanted a burrito in the middle of winter. Raising his eyebrow at my comment he looked at me smugly.

"Why? I get we are in Pennsylvania, but why not a California burrito? It's the holidays and you probably miss home back in California. I mean I miss home as well, but..."

Raising my head up, I looked at him curiously as he circled his hand on the table looking at me. He appeared to be thinking of whether he should say what he wanted to.

"But, what?"

"You remind me of home, so I don't miss it too much anymore." I felt my breath stopping for a second as his words touched an unplayed string of emotion in my heart. Home...I reminded him of something so close to him. No man has ever said something to me before. What is he doing to me? My eyes stopping at his face as I attempted to read it, but failed. He was a mystery. A mystery I felt that I wanted to watch and play over and over again, so I could untangle it, but I knew I never could.

"Better than home..." He finished his sentence before he got up and went to the line to order. My voice still caught in my throat as I did not know how to react. I mean I never had been approached my someone before and clearly I did not know how to respond.

I pulled out my laptop and opened a file where I had all my ideas and layout for the project. I should just focus on my project and not even dare to think of a potential relationship. My only focus should be my career and getting through medical school. That's all that should matter to me.

"So, tell me more about the project outline you made," Professor Oberoi ordered as he took a seat. Turning my laptop towards him, I ran my hand across the screen.

"Well, I want to research upon access to healthcare for children living in different areas on Pennsylvania and see if inadequate access to healthcare affects their health and how it does. I was thinking about collecting data from various counties in Pennsylvania on hospitalizations children typically have and quality of healthcare they may..."

"How so Anika?"

"Well, by looking at the hospitals the children were admitted at, we can understand how far the hospitals and local clinics were from where the children lived and the quality of healthcare the hospitals are known for. Moreover, we can gain understanding of the state of health of such children as well." I noted as he looked impressed as he looked back at me.

"Hmmm...good idea. But, what about public opinion? Like getting the inside story?" He noted as he looked at me intently.

"I am planning to survey school nurses and children and their parents. I would need more guidance on how to approach them to be exact," I said as he shook his head and smiled.

"And I would be glad to do that. Listen Anika...your idea is brilliant and I am going to fund it as I promised, but..."

My eyes shot up as I looked at him a bit confused. But? But what? I am pretty sure I covered all bases then what else would I need to add?

"But...I want to be there when you go on site visits to schools and local communities to pursue this research. I am pretty sure you wouldn't mind considering I am supporting you in this project," He noted as I looked at him curiously. Site visits with me? I mean it's a good idea considering I am an introvert and it might be difficult for me to approach others, but why is he showing so much interest? Is it because he likes...stop it Anika. Stop thinking nonsense.

"I like your idea and it would be great that I can show you the ropes of public health research. I mean I myself have pursued many, so I can help you..." He slightly smiled as I smiled back at him. I guess he is right. I would need his support in this research project, so it's best I take his support.

"Thank you. I will be glad to get you help," I said as he smiled.

A bartista appeared with our order as she placed the burritos on the table and two cups of coffee. Hm...coffee with burritos? That is an interesting mix, I thought as I looked at Professor Oberoi curiously as he grabbed the burrito and began munching on it.

"This is the best burrito in town. Really, the guacamole is so good,"He noted as he munched on it. I smiled at his childishness as he devoured the burrito. Considering how serious and uptight he was in class, I never thought he would have this fun loving side to him. It's quite peculiar.

I looked down at the dark brown colored coffee that had small dips of cream on top of it. Taking a sip of it, I felt myself gag realizing it was very strong and clearly to something I could tolerate. I cannot tolerate caffeine at all and clearly this coffee would get me sick.

"What's wrong?" I looked up at him and then back at coffee he had ordered. Now how should I explain to him, he clearly ordered something I could not drink at all.

"Um...I..I will drink it later..."I mumbled as I took a bite of my burrito.

"You didn't like it did you?" He questioned as he pulled the mug of coffee towards me. Clearly, he had caught me as I could tell he knew he was correct. I would drink it, but honestly, the coffee is just too strong and I know I will not tolerate it.

"Um...I...I don't drink strong coffee. Sorry, I didn't tell you. My body just cannot tolerate strong coffee."

"It's fine. I will drink it," He said as he took a sip from the coffee and looked back at me.

"Much sweeter than my coffee.Probably because you took a sip from it," He said as I felt my cheeks redden at his cheesy comment. A comment probably hundreds of men made in the movies and in daily life.

"Pretty cheesy Professor Oberoi," I noted as I rolled my eyes. He chuckled lightly and took another sip from the coffee.

"Shivaay. Call me Shivaay," He noted.

"You're my professor, so I think I will keep it professional," I noted as I attempted to push him away from the barrier we had to maintain as professor and student.

"No I'm not. I am just a faculty member who is funding your project, so Shivaay it is," He smiled as I shook my head.

"I am fine saying Professor Oberoi for now," I replied as I grabbed a spoon and pulled out tomatoes from the burrito since I hate them. I noticed his gaze at the tomatoes as he looked up at me intently.

"I get it. It's our first date and you of course don't know too much about me-"

"What?!" I exclaimed a bit taken aback at his statement as he smirked and popped a piece of tomato in his mouth. Date? What is he talking about? We are having a meeting and he's considering this a date. What have I gotten myself into?

"Of course Anika. It's only you and me and then the nice jazz music playing in the background. I mean look at the atmosphere...hm? It is a date from my perspective..."He replied as I raised my eyebrow quite in shock at his daring act.

"Look Professor Oberoi, you are a faculty member and I am a student. It is inappropriate that we go beyond a professional relationship-"

"But we can. I know deep inside of you that you want to challenge the rules. Challenge the norms for once and do something for yourself. I can see that want in you Anika. I know exactly that if we did not have a professional relationship then you would give me a chance. I know it. I can feel the flames I have lit and don't think I forgot what I said that night in front of your apartment. I am going to wait and form the roots of this relationship...I don't care what anyone thinks, but I know you want me and I want you." He stopped as his gaze stood still on my face. His eyes attempting to lure me in as I attempted to break my gaze away, but couldn't. I felt my hands trembling as they wanted to reach out towards him, but couldn't due to the shackles it bore. Shackles of rules and norms of society that they did not wish to break away from.

"For once tell me something different for why you cannot give in and be vulnerable to me? Tell me once and I will back away," Professor Oberoi whispered as I felt his voice tying me and taking me in.

"I don't know..." I muttered as I stared at the cracks of the wooden table representing the cracks in the barriers I held as I felt Professor Oberoi breaking into them.

His hand reaching out to mines as it laid still on the table. I felt his hand collapse on to mines' as my eyes widened as I looked up at him. His fingers tracing the edges of mines' as I felt my heart beating uncontrollably at the unfamiliar, but comforting touch that was felt across my hand.

"For once, dare the norms and rules and be with me," He softly spoke as I looked up at him. His eyes appearing genuine. I want to dare the norms and rules. If there weren't any then maybe...maybe I would have given it a thought. I should dare the rules...I mean for the first time someone has pursued me. I never even thought I was capable of being pursued. A lifetime of being ignored by everyone and sufferings of poverty somewhat made me want love, but somehow scared of being loved.

"We have barriers we cannot breach-"

"But I have the will to and I will breach them Anika. I will breach those barriers and give in to you." Without saying another word, he grabbed my hand and placed his lips against the palm of it. I felt a sudden shiver go down my spine as my hands trembled under his touch. I felt my breaths getting faster as I did not know what to say. His touch burning against my skin and touching the depths of my soul. My desire to feel his touch and to tie myself to his heart began to deepen as I realized I wanted him...At that instant he had caught me in his web.

Flashback Ends:

If only I had taken a step back and not allowed him to enter the barriers I held. That was the day when it all began. My love for him and his love for revenge began. I never knew that the roses he was laying down for me to walk upon to his heart had hidden thorns made of deceit. The thorns further deepening a toxic marriage I held with Shivaay.

And here I am again. At a café on a first date with Armaan. Oh how the times change, but some moments stay the same, but only with different people. What path is fate leading me upon?

"I am sorry for the wait Anika." The words were similar, but only belonged to different people as this time it was Armaan. Drenched wet by the rain heavily pouring outside, he quickly took off his jacket as he took a seat in front of me.

"It's fine I guess. I mean it's raining outside and traffic must be bad," I noted as he slightly smiled and picked up a menu.

"I'm genuinely sorry Anika. I left home at the right time, but traffic got to me. Anyways, what would you like to have?" He asked catching me off guard. Shivaay never asked me that when we had our first date in the café. Now when I realize it, he always was dominant, but in subtle ways that I failed to realize and thought it was his love and care for me.

"Um...this café makes great cheesecake, so I guess I can have that. Also, um...I'm ok with just simple chai," I noted as he smiled and looked back at the menu.

"Well I will have the same as you. I will go and order it ok?" Armaan quickly got up and made his way to the cashier as I patiently waited. My eyes looming to the eery darkness outside realizing it was similar to the one I experience with Shivaay on that day in the café. This is complete déjà vu. But, why? What is fate trying to tell me?

"Thank you for willing to come. I mean it took a lot of persuasion, but thank you. Thank you for being here," He said smiling as I smiled and sat awkwardly. No matter how much I try to work on my communication skills, I suck at socializing. No matter how hard I try I can never communicate properly in public settings. The only place I feel comfortable socializing is at the clinic with patients.

"I just want to say Anika that please don't think of me as a man who is trying to pursue you for his own satisfaction. I mean I...I don't how to say this, but I genuinely am interested in you. You are so different from other girls I have met before. I mean you are independent, but still well versed with culture. I could see you have values and Priyanka has told me so much about your kindness. I mean I...that's why I am here."

I didn't know what to say. I mean how can I trust him so easily? But then after experiencing deceit for years, I think I have gotten better to differentiate between deceit and honesty. He appears genuine, but still I shouldn't open up too much too soon.

"I honestly don't know what to say, but...Armaan, it will take me time to open up. I hope you can understand."

"I do and that's what dates are for so how about we enjoy this moment and get to know each other alright?" Armaan said smiling widely as a waitress dropped off our order and walked away.

"So, tell me more about your family? Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"An only child actually. It's just me, my mom, and dad," I replied as I took a bite of my cheesecake.

"Hmm...aren't only childs supposed to be spoiled rotten? Well I guess I was wrong," He replied charmingly as he winked at me.

"Yes you were. Definitely not spoiled I believe. I mean probably spoiled by my parents' love, but that's about it." He chuckled as he tapped his fingers lightly against the table.

"So, how long are you in town? You live in Texas correct?" I questioned curiously as I took a sip of my chai.

"Not yet. Actually, um...I will be staying back in Palo Alto for business related reasons. Shivaay and I need to sort out some matters that are remaining since we split up our hospital branches."

I stopped eating in my tracks as I heard his name. It's as if just saying the name would lead him to appear out fo thin air. Considering what went down between Shivaay and I two days ago at the hospital, I don't think I am ready to face him. I feel as if I have to give him a response for the letter he wrote to me. I shook the thought out of my mind as I kept eating quietly.

"Anyways let's stop talking about business and tell me more about yourself," Armaan noted as I smiled.

"What's more to say? I mean I don't know what to say..."

"Tell me more. I already know you are kind, compassionate, and independent, but there has to be more..."

The conversation continued about our lives, goals, and aspirations as they went on like a thread. There were moments of sheer awkwardness yet somehow comforting as I found myself opening up to him. He was a nice man. He had an optimistic viewpoint towards life as he laughed and cracked jokes. Indeed, Armaan was completely different and somehow I liked it.

"That I secretly like writing poems?" I said trying to spice up the conversation as he smiled and placed his fingers against his lips.

"Poems? Wow...what do you write about?" He said as I slightly smiled as I clasped my hands together.

"I mean I haven't written anything currently, but I write at times when I have time I guess."

"Well say a small line..."

My eyes widened as he certainly caught me off guard. A small line? Gosh I cannot think of something off the top of my head.

"Just one line Anika please?" He pleaded slightly as I smiled and thought of something.

https://youtu.be/sK7riqg2mr4

"Um...well...let's see. Ummm...I have one I guess...Well, here it goes...You told me to walk on glass. You told me to walk on glass and I did. I walked to reach you, but only to find you had left. Left me in the pain that you always desired me to be in..." I stopped as I realized I wrote that line the day after Shivaay had abandoned me at night because he got angry over the fact his business client Mr. Kapoor was getting too close to me. Not for once he believed me...not once. At that time, I didn't once realize the toxicity of our relationship, but now when I think about it that that relationship was toxic. He expected me to obey him and follow his "rules". I did so much for him and not once he appreciated me or cared about the fact about the lack of inequality our marriage had. I sighed as I placed a strand of hair behind my ears.

"Anika?" The familiar voice catching me off guard as I swiftly turned my head around to notice it was Shivaay.

What is he doing here? I thought as my mouth widened a bit. His secretary standing behind him along with a group of other clients of his.

"Hi Shivaay. How are you?" Armaan said smiling as Shivaay moved his gaze away from me and towards Shivaay.

"Good. Um...what are you two doing here?" He asked as I noticed a tinge of anger in his voice as his face reddened. I could tell he was mad. Just by the fact his face and hands were flushed red as he appeared to clench his jaw.

"Anika and I are on a date."

The moment stood still as a sense of awkwardness filled the air. My eyes set still on the cup of chai in front of me as I continued to admire the steam coming out from it. The steam representing the anger that I felt was fuming out of Shivaay. Oh God...he's not going to tolerate this. I know him too well. I know how he thinks and I know he will not tolerate the fact that I may be potentially dating his cousin. What have I gotten myself into? I pressed my fingers lightly against my temple as I felt Shivaay's fingers lingering on the back of the wooden chair I sat on.

I felt myself shake as I heard the sudden ring of Armaan's cellphone. Quickly picking it up, Armaan excused himself as he walked out of the café. I sat still with my hands clasped on my lap as I attempted to avoid eye contact from Shivaay.

"Um...how about you guys go upstairs and get a table. I will be there in a few minutes ok?" Shivaay said. His voice oddly lowered and soft, but I could feel he was attempting to suppress anger that could be felt in bits and pieces of his sentences.

His colleagues quickly walked away as they gave each other looks as they looked back at both of us. His presence continuing to linger behind me as I attempted to remain calm and not say a word. One thing I learned was that whenever Shivaay get's mad, the best thing is to remain calm and quite until his anger passes.

I heard a large sigh as he suddenly grabbed my arm pulling me up towards him. I felt a rush of wind as I felt my pulse beating firmly and quickly under the tight grip of his hand. The strands of my hair lingering on my face as I looked through them to catch a glimpse of his bloodshot eyes that were ready to slash my soul. My hand stood firmly against the wooden chair as I felt him breathing loudly on my face.

I lowered my eyes keeping them focused on the blue tie he wore. My eyes analyzing the small barely visible diamond shapes that ran through the tie. I attempted to keep calm and not say a word. I mean to be honest I didn't know what to say. I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn't be out here on a date with my ex-husband's cousin, but then I don't why, but somehow my fate convinced me to go and I did. I never realized the consequences of my actions as all I knew was that I wanted a new lease on life and get away from the sadness and frustration I have suffered for years from a broken relationship.

"Why Anika? Why did you do this? Never once I thought you would do this to me?" He hissed, leaning his face towards me. Moving my face an inch away from him, I attempted to avoid his gaze and the conversation as a whole.

"Come with me," He ordered as he grabbed my hand and began to drag me across the café. I attempted to free my hand from his, but he didn't let go as he opened the French doors and walked out to the small back porch of the café. Pushing me lightly against the wooden fence behind me, he captured me in his web.

"What the hell Anika?! How can you do this to me?! Not once I thought you would do this! How can you just go on a date with my cousin? I mean how?! Did you not once thing of me or the consequences of your actions?!" He spewed as I felt the ambers of his anger touching the untouched thoughts I held.

His anger enveloping me and tangling me in sets of confusion and frustration as I did not know what to say. I myself don't know why I thought it was ok to go on a date with Armaan. I mean I don't know why I'm here, perhaps, to run away from the feelings of my past and start anew.

"Say something! Just say something to me regarding why you thought it was ok?!" My eyes shot up with realization that he again was doing the same thing he used to do many years ago. The aggression, the dominance, the feeling of being the one in power...He thrived on such emotions and feeling of power in our marriage. At that moment of time, I was his wife and somehow I convinced myself to tolerate his ego and dominance, but not anymore. I am nothing to him and I hold no place in his life which means he has no right to control my choices.

"How can you just decide what is right and what is wrong Shivaay?! I am not your wife anymore and therefore you have no rights to decide whom I meet or not! Do you understand me? You have no right to decide who I can be with!"

There was silence as he stood a bit taken aback from my sudden outburst. He didn't seem to have expected that I would respond, but I did. Considering that for once and all our relationship has been closed then why should I allow him to come into my life and tell me what to do. He has no right.

"I wrote that letter to allow you to move on. I want you to move on, but not with my own cousin! Armaan is my cousin and you have no right to be with him. Do you even realize what deep waters you are walking on right now? Do you realize that he or someone else from our families might find out about us? Do you?!"

I stood flabbergasted as I realized he had made a point, but that doesn't mean that it is certain someone will find out. Armaan is a great guy and to be honest this date was going quite well before Shivaay came. I felt his hand lingering lightly against my hand as I looked up at him trying to make sense of his daring act of attempting to touch me once more.

"Don't you dare come close to me now Shivaay. For once let me live my life and leave me alone. I don't care if he is your cousin. He is more than that. Moreover, to be honest, how will he or other members of our families find out about us if we do not tell them huh? So stop trying to scare me off with this statement of yours'! I am moving on and for once I am enjoying another man's presence other than yours' after so many years. So, how about you just get off my back and leave me alone? Haven't you caused me enough pain already? Haven't you already ruined me that now you cannot see me happy for once?" I stopped to catch my breath and relieve myself from feelings of suffocation from his mere presence.

The wind began to pick up pace as we stood in silence. His gaze standing still as I noticed his eyes glistening. Anger seemingly disappearing as other emotions began to cloud his vision. I couldn't read his emotions, but I could tell his anger had passed since not another word slipped through. I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair without saying another word. I didn't know what else to say, but I was aware that I had made my point and he clearly understood as he did not utter another word.

Breakups are supposed to be like this right? I mean its been years since we separated and clearly I shouldn't be feeling bad for the other person. I shouldn't feel guilt or shame for actions. I shouldn't, but then why is that I somehow am having those feelings. Why is it that somewhere I do feel guilty? I shook the thought out of my mind as I noticed Armaan walking into the porch.

"Um...what are you both doing here?" Armaan asked curiously as Shivaay turned around towards him. An unusual smile appearing on his face as he placed his hands into his pockets.

"Nothing at all Armaan. Tomorrow's the annual carnival that the hospital hosts to fund the pediatrics department. So, I was just telling Anika about it. Um...That's why I am here actually since I have a meeting with my colleagues about last minutes details we should run through since this is the first carnival that hospital will be hosting after Oberoi Hospitals took over it. Um...anyways...I hope you both enjoy your date," He emphasized the last word as he attempted to avoid me, looking straight ahead towards Armaan.

"That's great...um...Anika and I would definitely come. Am I right Anika?" Armaan said excitedly as he walked right next to me, standing close...to close as I felt his shoulder right next to mines'.

His question clearly catching me off guard. I mean I always have enjoyed the carnival since I started residency at the hospital, but this year it was different. Shivaay was going to be there and clearly everything has gone so wrong between us since the last few days...I don't even know if I should go.

"Um...I don't know..."I mumbled awkwardly.

"Well, it's Anika's choice. Anika has a right to live her own life," His words stinging me as I realized he clearly was not talking about the carnival, but my decision to go on a date with Armaan.

"Sure, but I guess Anika would enjoy a carnival. Anyways, we will there ok?" Armaan said excitedly as Shivaay shook his head.

"Um...I have to get going now Anika, but I can walk you out if you're also leaving," Armaan noted as I shook my head and followed him behind. My arm running against Shivaay's as I quickly turned around to catch a glimpse of him. I don't know why, but somehow I felt horrible for what I was doing. For some reason I didn't want to give Shivaay misery, but then I have to move on and the path to moving on will be painful, but it will be the best for me.

"I will see you both," Shivaay noted as he faintly smiled looking back towards me before I felt Armaan grabbing my hand and leading me away. A tinge of anger flashing across Shivaay's face as his eyes fell on our hands that held to one another.

"Time to set on our paths," Armaan whispered into my ear as I slightly smiled looking up at him realizing that I found comfort in his presence that I found no more in Shivaay's. Perhaps, fate is signaling that I now is the time to leave the cage I had been trapped in for years and step into another world where I can find my happiness.

To be continued this Friday or Saturday :) Chapter 14 will be posted at the end of this week and thank you again for reading. I want to thank God and all you for the love you have given to this story :) I don't know if you liked this chapter as it is a filler, but feel free to give me positive and negative feedback :)

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