Hello everyone :) Surprise I published 3 chapters this week! :) I just wanted to let you all know that I have published three chapters this week, so please do read Chapter 13 before reading this chapter and do not forget to read Chapter 15 :)

First of all, thank you so much for all the love you have given to this story :) I don't think I am the best writer, but thank you still for complimenting this story and giving it a chance :)

This story got over 15K views, so I want to thank God and all of you for reading this story :) It means a lot to me and thank you so much :)

Few things to note:

-Armaan is not a permanent character in this story and he's only here for this track. I am so sorry to many of you as I have realized that Armaan and Anika's scenes are causing some displeasure as everyone loves Shivika :) Do not worry everyone, Shivika will get a happy ending :) I personally have difficulty writing Armaan and Anika's scenes as I love writing Shivika's scenes, so do not worry I will be adding plenty of Shivika scenes :) Armaan and Anika's story is only here to transform Shivaay and move his story along with Anika...Sorry I cannot reveal more, but I just wanted to clarify this point :) . Thank you all for being so patient and I know the story is moving slow, but there is a point to it which is to slowly evolve Shivaay and make him regret. The upcoming chapters are going to become extremely interesting and you will be in for some suspense and surprises....

*Please do not forget to get updates and follow me on my twitter account @JasmineDarcie which is fully dedicated to providing updates on my writing process and clarifying any misconceptions regarding future storylines along with responding to your feedback :)

*Feel free to give me song recommendations as I am running out of songs and these songs are from my playlist. Some songs are pure Punjabi since I am Punjabi myself, so please everyone do give me song recommendations and I am open to all types of songs from diverse cultures and languages because art has no boundaries :)

*Just wanted to note that I worked really hard this week to write these three chapters, so if you wish please do leave feedback and like these chapters-this is your choice to make, but I just want to say I love reading all of your feedback, so please feel free to leave it at the end of the chapters. Thank you and I hope you enjoy these chapters :)

*Please do not forget to read the Prologue and character details to my new Shivika story- The Bond of Love and Hate on Wattpad. I will be updating this story soon and couldn't today because I got too busy writing this story :)

https://www.wattpad.com/story/197894144-the-bond-of-love-and-hate-shivika

____________________________________________________________________________

Anika's Point of View

My eyes ran up against the beautiful sunrise that appeared in the horizon. Where has fate brought me to? My mind kept repeating what happened yesterday at the café. The sheer anger on Shivaay's face as he saw Armaan's hand in mines'. The moments when Armaan somehow made me laugh and brought a smile on my face after days. Armaan. He is a nice guy. I mean he's polite, considerate, and a great listener...everything Shivaay is not. But why am I comparing Armaan to Shivaay? Is it because I am ok to be with any guy who just doesn't represent Shivaay? Shouldn't I have an ideal? Shouldn't I dare to dream my ideal man? Would it be wrong of me?

I sighed as I looked the small fate lines on my hands, tracing my fingers against it. What am I doing? I am just going to go after any chance fate gives or should I question it?

I heard a sudden beep from my phone. Looking down at my phone, I realized it was Armaan.

Good morning ;) I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed spending my time with you yesterday. I hope we can get to know each other more. Just wanted to give a response to the poem you said yesterday...which is...I will not be the one who will make you walk on glass...I hope you give me another chance and go with me to the carnival tonight?

A faint smile appeared on my face as I ran my hand on my phone's screen. I felt my heartbeat lightly tapping on my chest, trying to knock sense into me. He's so kind and wow, he sent me such a nice text. I enjoyed our date yesterday, but I don't know if I should move forward with him. I mean he is Shivaay's cousin and I might be putting up a risk for potentially revealing the nature of Shivaay and my past relationship, but still like I told Shivaay that only Shivaay and I know about our relationship and I am pretty sure he will not tell anybody to save his image and I will not say a word to not hurt my family. If fate is giving me so many signals then I should give a chance to Armaan. Yeah, Anika...for once give up yourself to fate and see where it guides you. Just give fate a chance.

Placing my finger on the reply button, I began to type:

Good morning to you too Armaan. Thank you for the kind text. I enjoyed the time we had on our date and I am willing to give a chance to a second date tonight at the carnival. Hope to see you there :)

I waited patiently for reply as I laid my feet on the lawn chair in the backyard and stared at the sunrise. Hearing a sudden beep of text, I quickly scanned my eyes across my phone.

Great, I will see you at the carnival then. Hope to see you soon :)-Armaan

A light, childish giggle slipped through my mouth. Oh God, what is happening to me? Why is he getting to me so much? What is happening?

Shivaay's Point of View

https://youtu.be/6FURuLYrR_Q

Running the black coffee through my lips, I could only think of Anika. A thunder of anger still daring to burn me as I kept thinking about her and how her hand was in Armaan's. How can you do this Anika? How can you do this to me? How could you just move on in a few days after the closure I had given you? I didn't deserve this...or did I? This was supposed to be easy. This letter was my claim to freedom from Anika and her feelings that were daring to tear me apart. But, then why do I feel so shackled? Shackled in threads of emotions and feelings of a past, dead relationship. Oh Anika, what have you done? What have I done to you?

Why did my heart ache when I saw you laughing and being close to another man? I wasn't supposed to feel this pain. But then this pain is justifiable. The intimacy we shared with one another cannot allow her to go and share a relationship with another man from my family. She has no right to indulge in a relationship with another family member...but then who am I to question her choices? Like she said, she is nothing to me. She holds no place in my life then why should I care with whom she is and isn't? It shouldn't matter to me. It shouldn't then why does it matter? Am I still...in love...? No...Stop Shivaay. Love? You never loved Anika. No you never did. That relationship was just a game of deceit. That is all. That is all.

I stopped the trainwreck of thoughts and took a deep breath to let them go. I ran my hand against the cold window collected against my bedroom's wall. My eyes fell upon the cloudy sky signaling another rainy day. God, we have the carnival tonight and these clouds better clear up before it begins. This carnival is essential to raise funding for the pediatrics department and nothing can wrong. I have to make it perfect.

"How is the carnival going?" I looked up to realize it was Dad. Rolling my eyes, I played with fingers against my lips sitting in complete silence.

"What's wrong now? Why have you been so aloof from everyone? Everyone is noticing your behavior these days."

Picking up my gaze and looking towards Dad, I threw him a glare before looking away.

"I am fine. As long as the business is running smoothly, I think you should avoid invading my privacy," I hissed. Dad's eyes widening as he looked a bit taken aback by my comment.

"I am your father and I deserve to know why you have been behaving in such manner!"

"Father?! Really you're my father?! Wow...if you were my father you wouldn't have ruined my life! Dad, you and Ma both manipulated me to get married to Tia for your own financial gains! And now you are claiming to be my father and find out why I am behaving in particular ways?!"

The anger popped from the bottle I had been holding within me for days. I don't know why this comment slipped out of my tongue, but all I knew was that I had collected every piece of anger and frustration from years and bottled it up. I knew someday I would finally release these pieces of anger towards my parents and what they did.

"Manipulate?! How dare you say that Shivaay?! How dare you say that your mother and I manipulated you?! You yourself were hungry for money and power that Tia's father could offer to the expansion of our hospital branches. Your hunger and greed for power led you to marry Tia! Your mother and I just advised you to get married to Tia, but at the end the choice was yours'!" Dad's face turned red as his eyes became like an owl's. He was panting and salivating on anger.

His words shattering my anger and molding into an unexplainable feeling. Without saying another word Dad walked away as I slammed my body against the wall. Has greed for power and wealth tied me up in a manner that I have become its slave? Has greed shackled me to it that I cannot think of other tangible and untangible entities that hold meaning and value to life?

Flashback:

I sat in silence as I grabbed a bottle of wine and spilled it into my mouth to quench its thirst. Was it just physical thirst or thirst for love? Thirst for care? Collapsing my head against the small love seat, I stared at the sun slowly peaking through the curtains.

Hearing the door slam, I picked up my head from the couch with my eyes falling down on the figure in front of me. The tall figure stumbling as a scent of alcohol could be smelt miles away from her. Her brunette hair falling and spreading across her face as she kicked off her heels in the air. My eyes analyzing the flashy silver dress she wore that attempted to put a glow on her face that represented remains and ashes of blunt fire that tragically burned the soul.

Gone all night without a care for her husband. Not once calling or explaining why she might be absent from home for the entire night. How dare she act in this manner? How dare she treat Shivaay Singh Oberoi in such manner?

Slamming the wine bottle on the floor, it shattered across the wooden floor as she suddenly screamed looking back towards me.

"What is wrong with you?! What the hell?!" She screamed as she threw her purse on her bed and ran up towards me.

"Me?! Look at yourself Tia! You have ruined me! Ruined my image in society...most importantly the Oberoi family's image!" I yelled as I took a step towards her as she suddenly pushed me away.

"I ruined your image! Oh really?! My dad gave you the money and power that you always hunted for. Sure, you were rich and had a good image, but due to my dad providing funding to your hospital branch expansion, you were able to fulfill that sickening greed you had! So, shame on you! Shame on you Mr. Shivaay Singh Oberoi!"

"How dare you talk to your husband in such manner?! Look at yourself...since the day we got married...I haven't seen you once fulfill your duties as a wife! Every day, you go out late at night party and show up early morning like this. Just like how you appeared today in front of me. You don't pay attention to me and my needs nor my family's!" I slammed my fist against the wall as she threw her head up in the air as a devilish laugh appeared from her.

"Oh really?! What do you think? That I will become a slave to your chauvinist ideals?! Not in your dreams Mr. Oberoi! Never! Moreover, I didn't fulfill my duties...what about you? Have you once talked to me lovingly? Paid attention to me and considered what I want from you or this marriage?! No not once...Stop being a hypocrite and look at yourself before daring to judge Tia Sharma! Do you understand?!" She snapped her fingers as she pointed at me before walking away.

Tia's words tying me and shackling me as I didn't know what to say...Her father had shackled me by funding my greed. Wives aren't like this...or is it that Tia isn't like her?....Like Anika...Anika never talked to me in such manner. She never raised her voice. No matter how angry I got on her and how toxic I was...she once didn't say a word. Not once. She cared so much for me. She loved me...And I failed to love her....

Flashback Ends

A dark feeling that felt heavy and wrapped around my heart tightly. My mind racing as everything began running back to me. The deceitful marriage I carried with Anika. The divorce. The greed I showed in marrying Tia and then the exact deceit she gave me. Not once showing love or caring for me the way Anika did...She neglected me just like I neglected...Anika Oh my God...the cycle repeated. What I did to someone else...happened to me. How could I let greed blind me and drive me away from...from Anika? I felt my throat tighten as I tried to collect my breaths.

Evening

https://youtu.be/dMByhaezv9A

Anika's Point of View

I fixed my red colored kurta as I looked at myself one more time in the mirror. It's been years since I have looked at myself with so much detail in the mirror. For many years, I have only stolen glances at my reflection as it didn't matter. It didn't matter since there was no one to admire, but now as I stare at myself in the mirror, I realize that the mirror does not only reflect the physical beauty, but the internal conflict of emotions and desires if ones looks closely. Running my hand through the long layers of my hair, I fixed them against my shoulders.

Stop it Anika. Stop giving Armaan so much attention. You should only look at the mirror to admire yourself and your resilience not fix yourself to get admiration from a stranger. Grabbing my small purse, I quickly walked out of the car and made my way towards the entrance of the carnival.

Each year, our hospital held the annual carnival to raise funds for the pediatric department to fund various forms of treatments for low income children. Since the Oberois have taken over the hospital, they have decided to also raise money for research on rare diseases children have this year. The idea is indeed unique I must say and to my shame I do admit that Shivaay has taken the appropriate step.

I walked across the large parking lot on the outskirts of the city where the carnival was annually held. The parking lot had been deserted for years after a local strip mall had closed, but it tended to always find life in the annual carnival.

My eyes followed the parents and children gathering in herds as they lined up to be checked by security and made their way into the carnival. I waited patiently as I held a ticket in my hand in the long line of festival goers.

"And so we meet..." Turning back immediately to response of the familiar voice, I realized it was Armaan as a faint smile appeared on my face.

"Hi, so how are you?" I questioned as I crossed my arms looking at him. He slightly smiled as he ran his hand through his hair standing right next to me in line.

"Ready to enjoy the greatest moment of your life?" Armaan asked as I giggled and rolled my eyes at him.

"Um...I have attended this carnival plenty of times, so I have experienced the greatest moments many times except that this year Priyanka is not here since she is on her honeymoon and I have to spend it with you," I replied. For some reason, Armaan brought a fresh breath of air wherever he went. Somehow, I found myself being childish and opening up to him more quickly than I thought I would.

"That's why this is the greatest moment of your life because you are spending it with me," He replied flirtatiously as I looked away shyly wrapped the silky, black scraf around my fingers as it fell against the black leggings I wore.

"Actually correct that, this is the greatest moment for me because I get to spend it with you," Armaan replied as I sighed and placed a strand of my hair behind my ear with an attempt to avoid his gaze.

"Cheesy much Armaan," The dark, heavy, yet familiar voice spoke. My eyes widening as I realized I had been familiar with the voice all my life.

Turning around, I faced him. There he was. Shivaay Singh Oberoi.

"Cheesy? I don't think so Shivaay," Armaan replied as Shivaay rolled his eyes and walked up to me standing right next to me closing the distance between us.

"Well, I think it is. Anyways, it doesn't matter to me what you both are doing on your date, but I have to steal Anika from you," Shivaay noted as a faint smile appeared on his face looking back at me.

My eyes widened at his blatant statement. What is he trying to do? Why is he even here and trying to intervene between Armaan and I? What is going on in Shivaay's mind?

"Steal for what?" I questioned curiously as I turned around and looked up at him. He smirked as he crossed his arms with his black jacket tightening gently against his muscles.

"Actually I need your help. Um...can you excuse us for a moment Armaan?" Shivaay questioned and without hearing a yes from Armaan, Shivaay grabbed my arm pulling me towards the side. I attempted to snatch my arm away from him, but failed to do so as he held it.

"Let go of me!" I ordered as he held on to it and brought me near the front of the line.

"Ok Anika, honestly, I don't care what you and Armaan are doing together right now. However, if I remember correctly, you are also an employee of this hospital and you have certain duties."

Raising my eyebrow at him, I looked at him confused. Duties? Last time I remember, Dr. Amoli decided to kick me off the volunteering team this year since I was being too much of a rebel as I didn't want to merely do health screenings, but do free health education for patients. So, what duties do I have exactly?

"Um...what? I didn't sign for anything as Dr. Amoli Thakur kicked me off from volunteering, so I don't know what you are talking about Mr. Oberoi," I taunted him slightly as I knew how much he hated being called Mr. Oberoi by me. In fact, I remember how I used to annoy him by making a snarky voice and saying "Mr.Oberoi" over and over again whenever we would have a fight.

He bit his lip and began to chew on it lightly as I noticed his eyes running across the details of my face in an attempt to read it. Maintaining a cold face, I avoided his gaze as I shut myself away.

"I know Dr. Anika Malhotra that you got kicked off, but as your boss, I will reinstate you because Dr. Thakur got food poisoning at the last minute and surprisingly so did the other team of doctors who were supposed to do the health screenings this year for the kids and adults. I know it will be hard for you to run the screenings, but I am certain you will be able to successfully serve others," He replied confidently. A display of confidence in me? This was completely new considering how much Shivaay always doubted me and my abilities.

I should volunteer. I mean I love meeting new people and definitely community outreach is integral in helping raise healthy individuals, so I should serve them. I have come with Armaan to the carnival and should spend time with him, but health screenings are important and I should definitely do my job because at the end of the day I am a physician. Moreover, health screenings will only last for three hours while the carnival goes until midnight, so I have time and Armaan won't get disappointed. I mean Armaan should understand the life of a physician and how physicians are always on duty no matter what.

"So, are you up for it or not?" He questioned impatiently as he kept looking at his watch with realization that the carnival will be reaching its peak in the next hour.

"Yes I am.I will definitely volunteer and help out." A faint smile appeared on his face as he appeared satisfied and somehow happy with my decision.

"What are you looking at?" I replied with a tinge of rudeness as he shook his head and cracked his knuckles.

"Nothing. Just that I still know you too well. I knew you were very committed to your profession and would sacrifice your own time to help others. That's just how you are," He replied confidently. How does he know me so well? He knew I wouldn't say no which was why he likely approached me at the last minute. Sacrifice? If you did see my sacrifices to satisfy your desires and needs Shivaay then why did you leave me? I sighed as I broke the thought.

"Sacrifice is something I have given to every single part of my life Shivaay and you should know best about that...Am I not right?" I stopped as I did not want to say more. His smile faded as my words reached him. His eyes standing still as they looked into mines' urging me to reveal my thoughts and to speak more, but I didn't. His eyes darkening as he pursed his lips together, appearing in deep contemplation as he turned his back towards me.

"Um...we should get going then. I will show you where the tent is located this year for the health screenings." I shook my head in agreement as I looked back at Armaan whose gaze had appeared to be fixated on both of us for quite a while.

"Let me just tell Armaan," I muttered as I quickly walked towards him.

"So, what was that all about?" Armaan questioned curiously as I got to him.

Feeling a bit hesitant considering I was ditching him on our date, I tried to gather confidence and courage to tell him he was getting ditched at last minute.

"Um...I would have loved to spend time with you Armaan, but I...I have to go and do health screenings. Other doctors were supposed to be there, but they got sick, so I have to go. I mean I hope you understand. This is my job and I am on duty at all times-"

"It's fine Anika. Please do not give any explanations. I completely understand that as a physician you are obligated to put others first before yourself. Thanks for letting me know I guess. So, the date is kind've off huh?" Armaan questioned as he clearly appeared disappointed. I mean I hate to disappoint him, but my profession is important to me and hopefully he can understand.

God, why is that whenever I want to move on, somehow, fate pulls me back. I don't know what is happening.

"Still I am sorry. I mean the health screenings will end in three hours and then we can hang out or something?" I noted as he slightly smiled and shook his head.

"I would love to do that, but...I can only stay here until nine and then I have to leave because my mom is hosting a dinner with her close friends who live locally here and wants me to be there since it's been years she has met them and they have seen me. You know the usual... So, I guess we can have an hour's worth of a date right?" Armaan said chuckling as I laughed and fixed my scarf.

"Well I guess an hour will be enough perhaps," I noted as he smiled and waved at me as I waved back at him.

Turning away, I began walking quickly towards Shivaay who stood near the side entrance of the carnival. His face turning different shades of red as he clearly was standing there patiently, bubbling and collecting anger and rage as he had his gaze fixated upon Armaan and I.

"We should get going." Shivaay barely spoke as a security guard opening the steel gate and allowed us to walk in.

The moment I stepped into the carnival, I was in awe as bright orange and red lights dazzled against the sun that was setting down in the horizon. The large ferris wheel flashing, changing colors of white and red as I heard screams of delight and excitement. The small rollercoaster making its way behind the ferris wheel as screams resembling fear and joy emerged. The smell of pink cotton candy filling my senses as I heard popcorn popping. Rows and rows of large tents layered each other as they sold items while others dabbled with games. Indeed, Shivaay had gone all out with the planning of the carnival this year.

I stood still as I took in the picture of the fantasy and euphoria the carnival represented in times being. I felt a wide smile appear on my face as I felt a child once again as I began to giggle as little children got their faces painted while other jumped on the trampoline. I wish I could become a child and escape the burdens and roadblocks that life has thrown upon me.

"Um...you like it?" The question broke my thoughts away as I looked up at Shivaay as he stood close. His shoulder lightly touching mines as I took a step away and avoided the strong smell of his perfume that filled my senses, tempting to lure me.

"It's nice. Completely all out compared to last year," I noted as he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, this is the first time our hospital branch is hosting the carnival, so it's a way to welcome the community we would be serving now. But, you're good at judgement, so do you like it?" He emphasized the last sentence as if the set up of the carnival was to impress me.

"Who am I to judge? I like it, but I am pretty sure everyone else does too." I played with my fingers lightly as he loudly sighed and began walking as I followed him.

My footsteps exactly matching his as I followed right behind him. We always had an awkward way of walking. I remember how I always tended to take a step in a delay after him and some how I remember liking it. Liking being led by him. Liking that he told me what to do. Indeed, I failed to realize he was training me to be the subordinate. Indeed, it was so wrong of him to fail to treat me as his equal.

I attempted to quicken my pace and match his steps, but failed as he was too fast. I followed him along as we got to a large red tent that stood in middle of the ground. I noticed no one was working at it besides a man who was setting up small patient beds, a table, chair, and a blood pressure machine. Indeed, I realized I was the only one out here. How will I handle a large influx of patients? Great. Shivaay should've at least recruited another physician so we could best provide care to people who came.

"What kind've set up is this Shivaay?" I said with a tinge of rudeness as I walked into the tent.

"Well what else do you expect? We have a table here for people to register and then this suitcase has all necessary equipment and a stethoscope for you. What else do you want?" He noted a bit annoyed as I felt my frustration boiling up at his ignorance.

"What about some type of help? I mean I would need someone to register the patients and how about the fact you should've recruited another physician to help? I mean there must've been someone who would've agreed at the last minute!" I exclaimed loudly as Shivaay's eyes widened at the tone of my voice. Ok, I agree the tone was slightly high, but then it's sheer frustration. I don't know if its frustration from this ignorance he portrayed or ignorance for years he portrayed towards understanding me or my needs. What am I doing? I shouldn't even mixing our relationship with our work. We are separated and I should stop thinking about that toxic relationship. I should stop.

"Well gee, it's not my fault that literally most of the physicians got food poisoning! Look, you were my last hope and you agreed. And I know it will be difficult for you to work alone, so I will walking around here near the stalls to ensure everything is flowing well. Also, I talked to Om and Gauri can help with the registration, so you will be fine. Is that enough for you?" Clearly, he had shut me up. Well, it's not my fault that I made assumptions. I didn't know he was offering to help and so was Gauri or else I wouldn't have argued in the first place.

"Well...well, you should've told me Shivaay...God, it would've been worthwhile since I wouldn't have wasted my time venting, but gotten to work." I noted as he rolled his eyes in annoyance as I quickly opened my purse and got out my work badge placing it neatly on to my kurta.

"Hey Anika!" I looked up it was Gauri as she smiled cheerfully walking hand in hand with the twins. Somehow, she appeared aloof from Om as he appeared to be walking a distance behind her.

"Hi Gauri! How are you?" I replied smiling as she hugged me and took a seat on the table.

"You came at the right moment since I was about to start. Thank you for helping me out," I noted as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh please Anika stop thanking me. In fact, thanks to this, I get to be away from the troubles of family life," Gauri noted in sarcasm as she looked back at Om. A dash of anger and frustration, similar to Shivaay's, appearing on his face as he looked back at Gauri.

"Shivaay...can I talk to you for second?" Om asked as he quickly grabbed Shivaay's arm and took him away.

I raised my head up curiously as I looked at them and back at Gauri. Something clearly was off, but I didn't know what it was.

"Aryan and Luv, can you please just go to your dad? I am trying to work here!" Gauri said sounding a tad bit annoyed as the two boys ran off. Taking a deep breath, she began to arrange clipboards and pencils.

"Um...so how are you doing Gauri?" I asked as Gauri's hands stopped for a moment as she appeared to contemplate over my question before looking up at me.

"Um...good I guess...Priyanka's wedding was very stressful, so that kind of got to me I guess,"Gauri mumbled as she looked away.

As I looked at her tired eyes and the paleness of her face, I could tell she was stressed out. Seeing so many patients throughout the past few years has given me experience on how to read people quite well and I could tell Gauri was stressed at the moment. I don't know Gauri too well and I think it would inappropriate if I push her too much and try to interfere in her personal life. I should just let it go.

Pushing the thought away, I placed my stethoscope around my neck and smiled as I noticed a family approaching us. Without any hesitancy, I began to mold myself into my duties as I found myself laughing and chit chatting with patients as I screened them for basic vitals. Indeed, the joy and feeling of positivity I received from serving patients was for one I could give up everything and anything in the world for. The best part of being a physician is being endowed ,by God himself, with knowledge and ability to heal others and that is what I loved to do.

The hours slowly passed as I connected with patients and provided them health education on hypertension management as I did screenings and listened to their struggles. Indeed, as physicians we may fail at times in listening to the life stories of our patients and it is crucial we do or else we may just miss the reason why a personal event in their life may be impacting their health.

"Wow...aren't you cute?" I said as I smiled and looked at the five-year old as she laid her head against my head as I listened to her heartbeat. I giggled as I placed the stethoscope on her back as she breathed deeply.

I smiled as I got out a small light and flashed it on her eyes...For a moment, my hand stopped as I realized they were hazel... just like...I stopped my thought as I placed my the light down and looked at the innocent girl. I looked up at Shivaay who stood across from the tent talking with a colleague. Somehow he noticed my gaze as he looked back towards me and the child. Our thoughts merging and becoming one as we looked at the little girl.

The girl was just like her. Just like who I held in my womb...A womb that cried for years over a child it once held. The child a part of me and him...A child I loved...I felt tears slowly welling up in my eyes as I attempted to push them back. Why has fate been so cruel? Why did my past have to be so convoluted and toxic? I weakly smiled as the little girl grabbed on to my finger and giggled.

"Well...um...Lily's a very active little girl," I said as I looked at her mom who smiled and held in her lap.

"Yeah, she is, but a little too active. She's very hyper and tends to get hungry very fast. Moreover, she can get irritable fast as well. I don't know what's happening," The mother said a bit confused as I looked at the little girl and placed my hand on her thyroid gland.

"Hmm...I did listen to her heartbeat and it is beating a little fast. Did she lose weight recently?" I asked as I looked at the mom as the mom shook her head.

"Yeah, I think she may have hyperthyroidism, but to confirm we have to run a blood test. Don't worry, hyperthyroidism can easily be controlled by medication."

"But we don't have insurance." I felt my heart drop as I looked at the mom and the innocent child. I flashbacked to my own childhood as I remembered how my parents did not have health insurance and how we never went to the doctor. We simply could not afford healthcare. I sighed as I looked at the child.

"We can offer to help." I looked up realizing it was Shivaay as he weakly smiled and looked at the little girl and looked back towards me.

My mouth slightly widening as I was a bit taken aback by his gesture. If I am to be correct, he is so selfish and egoistic. Always hungry for money and power, yet, he is showing such gesture.

"We have social workers who can help you get affordable healthcare. We can get the social workers to come in contact with you if you give us your contact number. Also, no worries, I will have the bill waived. Umm...we will make a note of it, right Dr. Malhotra?" Shivaay said as he looked back at me.

A small smile appeared on my face as I looked up at him. This was so unusual of him...this kindness and genuineness was kind of unexpected to be honest. Is he really changing? First the letter and now this? God, what am I thinking? Why is my practical and logical side being overtaken by my emotions? I knocked the thought out as I looked at the mom who began to shake my hand and then Shivaay's.

"Thank you so much. It really means a lot. Ummm....we have been uninsured for quite a few years, so thank you for your gesture. It really means a lot," The mother said as she looked at Lily.

"No problem. Umm...Lily really deserves all happiness that is available in the world. You're very lucky to have her," I said as I felt my voice choking.

I felt tears slowly welling up in my eyes as Lily wrapped her small fingers around my hand. I looked up at Shivaay as I noticed his eyes glistening, blunt red as he slightly coughed and cleared his throat.

"Thank you doctor and thank you big man," Her voice sweet and innocent as I bit my lip and hugged her tightly as she hugged me back. Somehow I hoped that she was mine, but I knew she wasn't. I weakly smiled as I thought about her...a part of me and a part of him. God...why do I have to be reminded of something so painful that I have worked so hard to bury in the depths of my heart. It's been months since I last thought of her, but somehow the thought came back as I encountered the innocent child.

"You will be fine ok honey? Don't worry ok?" I softly spoke as Lily smiled and shook her head.

"Um...now how about we give you a small chocolate bar huh?" Shivaay said as he went to a small basket and gave her a chocolate bar as she screamed in delight.

"So, no worries. Umm...we get in contact with you very soon, but here's my office number and feel free to contact if you do not hear anything by Monday ok?" Shivaay said as Lily's mom grabbed his business card.

"Thank you so much and we will see you soon. Thank you doctor," Lily's mom said as I smiled and shook her hand before she walked away.

My feet stood frozen to the ground as I looked at them walking away into the distance. A knot forming tightly in my womb as my hand slowly went to it. Clutching tightly to my stomach, I attempted to find the lost part of me, but couldn't as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Looking back at Shivaay, I clutched tightly to my fists as I attempted to be strong.

"Her eyes..."I began.

"Just like hers'" He spoke softly as he completed my sentence. Placing my hand on my mouth, I attempted to halt my tears as he sighed and stood still not knowing what to say or do. He bit his lip profusely as he held back tears that appeared to burn the rims of his eyes. Running my hand through the locks of my hair, I attempted to control myself as I noticed Gauri looking at both of us curiously trying to decode our body language.

"You both ok?" Gauri spoke as she got up and looked at us.

"Umm...yeah we're fine. Um...just got emotional when we saw the girl. She was so innocent, so..." I stopped as I took a deep breath trying to control myself as I weakly smiled and walked up to her. Shivaay noticeably quickly walking away as he disappeared out of sight.

"Great job today Gauri. Thank you so much for helping," I said attempting to divert the topic as she smiled and thanked me.

"I actually enjoyed it very much. Umm...you know when I saw you interacting with all the patients and helping them...I liked it very much. I actually always wanted to be a doctor actually."

"Well you should Gauri. If you really want to be a doctor then you should go for it!" I said excitedly as a wide smile appeared on her face.

"Really? I mean I am still quite interested, but you know I have a family. I don't know if I could do it," Gauri mumbled feeling quite low on confidence.

"I know it might be difficult, but I am sure your family will support you. They're pretty nice and you have a great husband as well," I noted as her expression dropped as she scrunched up her nose.

"Well, that's the problem.Umm...we are not good talking terms. Ma and Dadi are just getting to me. I mean I do so much for them and throughout Priyanka's wedding I was the one helping to run everything and yet, they think I could've done more. And then...Om and I are going through a rough patch...He's not really understanding me," Gauri whispered the last sentence as I could tell she was getting emotional.

Somehow, I felt myself relating to her as I realized she was going through something similar that I went through with Shivaay...except our relationship ended up in a divorce. She definitely was getting emotional as she wiped away a tear from her eye. I wanted to help her, but what help can I give as I myself was divorced.

"Sometimes it hard getting along with your partner. There's always rough patches, but you should definitely work hard to overcome them. I mean you both have kids and I'm sure you want them to give the best environment-"

"Anika he just doesn't understand me you know. Like he fails to realize that I do so much for him and everyone else. I mean recently I've been thinking to become more independent and pursue this dream...the dream of becoming a doctor, but Om is just...not being supportive at all..."

I placed my hand on Gauri's shoulder as I related to her feeling of being shackled within the barriers of a marriage. A marriage is supposed to help one to expand by the support of a life partner, but somehow marriage can at times shackle one partner to the other. I initially thought marriage would give me the love and comfort I had been hunting all my life, but I was wrong. Now when I rethink my marriage, I don't even know if I can find love...any piece of love that Shivaay expressed. All I remember my marriage as were burdens...consistent burdens that laid on my shoulder...burdens of being a perfect wife...being someone who cares for my husband without anything in return...Indeed, now when I think about it I never realized the poison that my marriage spread in my life and in my mind. I failed to realize how submissive and vulnerable I was as a wife. I failed to recognize such toxicity.

"It's tough Gauri. It's tough being in a marriage with someone who may not understand you or what you may experience, but you have to be open and honest with Om. Just tell him how you feel and I know that he will understand you. We can all see what a great couple you both are and I am sure it will work out," I said smiling as I attempted to add positivity to her life.

"But how? We barely get any time alone," Gauri argued as I shook my head.

"Well...you have tonight at this carnival, so why not make the best of it and give yourself and Om a chance. Ok?" I smiled as Gauri slightly smiled and shook her head.

"Thanks Anika. I guess you are right. I shouldn't give up and make him understand about my needs and desires. I have given so much to him and this family. Thanks a lot really," Gauri noted as I side hugged her.

"It's fine Gauri and feel free to talk to me if you wish. Ok?" Gauri smiled as she hugged me back.

"Are we all done here?" I looked back realizing it was Armaan. Armaan had a wide smile on his face as he walked up to me.

"Um...yeah...I think so since the time is over and we don't have anymore new patients," I said smiling as he smiled as I began to quickly pack up my stuff and handed it off to Gauri who would handle the closing up of the tent.

"So, are you both together?" Gauri asked to both us as she looked at us curiously. I could see her looking back towards Shivaay who stood in a far distance. I knew somehow she was making a link between him and me as she looked at me confused.

"Umm...uh...we will see," Armaan said shyly as I smiled and fixed my hair looking back at him.

"Yeah...um so we will see later ok Gauri?" I said as Gauri shook her head as I began walking away with Armaan.

"And here's some cotton candy. You know just to get a sugar rush, so we can have as much fun as possible in an hour," Armaan said as I shrugged my shoulders in sarcasm as I began to giggle and grabbed a bite of the cotton candy.

"Hmmm....very nice," I said as he chuckled as we began walking towards the central fairground.

I smiled as I looked at a large crowd surrounded around a high striker that stood in middle of the ground. The high striker was a larger gray tower that stood tall amongst the crowd with lights running through it. I noticed a man holding a large hammer, probably, greater than his entire body as he slammed it against the lever. The lights began striking up, but however, the puck failed to hit the bell.

"Oh shucks!" He yelled upon realization he lost the prize.

"Hmm...seems you are fascinated by that," Armaan noted as I shrugged my shoulders and looked back at him.

"I am, but it's pretty hard to be honest. To hit that lever and get the puck to ring the bell. I mean I am definitely not trying considering since my rib cage is still hurting," I noted as I looked at the large brown teddy bear as cash prize.

"Well, I can try for you," Armaan said as I giggled and rolled my eyes.

"It's not that easy Armaan," I noted as he shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed my hand and brought me to the small group of people waiting in line.

"I will win it for sure," Armaan said confidently as I appeared impressed by his level of confidence.

"We will see then."

https://youtu.be/hejXc_FSYb8

I looked back as I noticed Shivaay walking in the distance with Gauri, Om, Aarav, and Luv. Oh great, I so hope he doesn't show up here. Looking away, I attempted to hide myself from him as I divulged in conversations with Armaan, however, my mind drifted back to him.

"Shivaay tayya (uncle) ji, please we want to do the high striker! Can you please make us win the Star Wars helmets please?" I heard Aarav and Luv begging Shivaay as they pulled his hand.

Oh no, he's coming right this way. Can this day get any worse? I have been stuck with him for hours on end today.

"I will try, but I can't make promises," Shivaay said as he stood right behind us.

"So, you're doing the high striker?" Armaan questioned turning towards him. I looked back at Shivaay as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Why not? I mean Om will also try. Right Om?" Shivaay questioned looking back at Om and Gauri.

"Of course, but I always fail at it, but anything for my kids," Om said smiling as he hugged Aarav and Luv. Gauri rolled her eyes at him as she looked back towards me. She clearly was indicating to me how he really didn't care. I sighed and shook my head as I formed a heart and gestured her to be more loving and understanding to Om. Gauri weakly smiled at me as she looked back at Om.

"Okay who's next!" The employee noted as Armaan raised his hand and quickly ran up to hold the hammer. The hammer clearly weighing onto him as his shoulder immediately dropped down.

I felt a light laugh slipping by as I bit my lip. Shivaay clearly chuckling as he placed his hands in pockets. I looked back and try to give him a glare, but clearly it wasn't working as he shrugged his shoulders and pointed back towards Armaan.

He let out a loud grunt as he slammed the hammer hard against the lever. The lights began to flash as I heard loud noise from the high striker, however, the lights stopped a step away from the bell.

"What?! How is that possible?!" He exclaimed as he looked back at the employee. Clearly, he lost, but he wasn't taking it too well as he appeared frustrated and upset.

"Gee, I don't know sir. I don't control the high striker. Anyways, now can you move on and let the next person play," The employee replied clearly bored and tired from day's work.

"I need another try, I mean I have to get that large bear for her!" Armaan said pointing at me as my eyes widened as I looked back at Shivaay who hid his smile as he ran the back of hand against his lips. Great, thanks for putting me on the spot Armaan.

"It's fine, I don't think I really need the large teddy bear Armaan..." I said as I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the side.

"Well, let's see if I can do it!" Shivaay called us out with confidence as he looked back at us.

Armaan stopped for a second as he crossed his arms and looked back at Shivaay. Shivaay placed a wide smile on his face as he grabbed the hammer not once wincing with its weight. My eyes tracing the veins popping from his muscular hands, stopping at the muscles that emerged through the black jacket he wore. His black sweater tightening against his chest, slightly outlining the muscles underneath. His dark brown hair flowing back as the wind blew over it. I attempted to pull my eyes away from him, but I couldn't. I felt my heart beating uncontrollably as I felt my palms sweat. In that moment, I had an unusual attraction for him. An attraction that I thought had been worn and torn many years ago and had died, but somehow it was coming to life.

My eyes followed his hands as he slammed the hammer hard against the lever. A loud noise booming as the neon lights of the high striker began falling upwards like dominoes as they evolved into colors of red and orange and began blinking. Suddenly, the bell began to ring loudly attempting to deafen my ears as his family and the crowd broke out in cheers.

I felt a faint smile appear on my lips as I felt a little impressed by him. Just a little...like a pinch. I rolled my eyes at him pretending to not care, but somehow I felt a little happy on his victory. I shouldn't, but I did.

"You just got lucky!" Armaan argued as Shivaay rolled his eyes at him.

"I don't know about that to be honest Armaan, but sure I will go with it to make you feel better," Shivaay said as he looked back at the employee and asked for the two Star Wars helmets for Aarav and Luv who jumped excitedly and hugged Shivaay.

I smiled as I looked at how Shivaay laughed and placed the helmets on their heads. Indeed, he was quite good with kids. Shivaay looked back whispering something to the employee before the he looked back at me and shook his head. The employee quickly picking up the large chocolate brown teddy bear. My eyes widened as Shivaay grabbed it and began walking towards me.

I stood in silence and a bit taken aback as I didn't know what to say or react. Oh God, no Shivaay, please don't. I pleaded him mentally as he had the stupid smile on his face as he held out the teddy bear for me.

"Wow...seriously?" Armaan muttered as I sighed and looked back at Armaan as he shrugged his shoulders and looked away.

"Umm...I can't really take this..." I mumbled as Shivaay grabbed my hand. I felt quite a bit surprised at his daring act as he placed my hand on the bear.

"Keep it as an award for willing to help me out at the last minute and give up your own personal time to help others today. Ok?" Shivaay said as if he was ordering me to listen to him and I listened. I shouldn't have, but my arm quickly wrapped around the large teddy bear as it fell down to my feet. I weakly smiled as I looked at Shivaay as he smiled and placed his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"Enjoy both of your guys' date. Right?" Shivaay smiled as he began walking away.

Oh God...why is he getting to me? I stood in silence as I held the bear tightly against my chest. Why did he do that? First, he wrote the letter and told me to move on then why did he just do this? Perhaps, I am overthinking, but I don't know...maybe I am not. Shivaay turned back and looked towards me as I looked away to avoid making him realize that I was staring at him.

What is happening? Why is fate playing déjà vu with me? Is this a new beginning? Why am I being told that Shivaay and I are meant to be. Even though logic and past experience says we should not be together because of the toxicity we tend to always embroil ourselves in then why is it that...that fate is challenging this notion...fate is continuing to challenge us and I cannot see an end to it.