Chapter 22: Chaaya

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Hi everyone :) As I always begin, I want to thank God for His blessings. Also, I want to thank all loyal readers who have been reading this story and continuing to give it lots of love :) Thank you for 30,000 views :) Definitely, this has been a huge milestone and it would not have been possible without God's support and the love that all of you readers have given to this story :)

I know I said I would not update this week, but I got too many requests, so I decided to update and give a chapter that I have written so far for the story. I really want to get ahead in writing the chapters, so please do pray that I am able to get ahead in writing the chapters and continue to give weekly updates on Friday nights (U.S. time).

If you haven't read Chapter 21 then please do read it and if you haven't read the midseason preview for the story then please do read it because it will give you a glimpse of the thriller and suspenseful tracks I will be writing very soon. This fashion show track will end in the next three chapters (hoping to give a double update, so ends quickly) which will lead to Shivaay's obsession track to begin.

Thank you for reading :) I do not know if you will like this chapter because it is somewhat flashback based, but I have tried hard to add a good balance of Shivaay and Anika's point of view and this will continue for future storylines as the story demands.

P.S. Please forgive me for any grammar errors. It's really late at night in the U.S. and I have to go to sleep, but I will edit for grammar tomorrow morning again :)

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Chapter 22

Flashback

https://youtu.be/PVxc5mIHVuQ

I sat in awkward silence soaking my senses with jazz music as I looked at the happiness around me. Conversations running in rhythm with music, laughter matching the tone of the trumpet, while dancers moved their bodies against the music. Happiness seemingly embracing them. How I wish this happiness also embraces me?

My hand ran through the small bump as I smiled at the small bundle of hope inside of me. Only about two weeks ago I found out about the good news that I was expecting. Indeed, I was surprised by news considering I never thought I would be able to become a mother, but miracles do happen just as they did with me.

It felt odd considering no one knows anything about Shivaay and I. We share such a sacred bond with one another which no one knows about. Of course, I want to tell my parents, but I can't. They have abandoned me ever since I told them I cannot marry the boy of their choice as I love someone. And then Shivaay has his own issues on why he cannot tell his family just yet. For his close circle of friends, we're only boyfriend and girlfriend and then for rest of the world we're just friends.

I am surprised Shivaay decided to bring me to this party celebrating a successful quarter at the eastern branch of Oberoi hospitals since this party is public and has brought in investors and business partners from everywhere. However, I am happy that he has somewhat brought me out in the limelight with him creating a certain awareness that I am his.

I wrapped the heavy golden colored dupatta around me as I attempted to hide the little bundle of hope. My eyes looking around as I attempted to find Shivaay since I was feeling a little nauseous and anxious from the crowd of people present. Getting up from the single table, I made my way through the large party hall trying to find Shivaay.

The world seemingly twirling as I attempted to balance myself. My long anarkali suit not helping as I felt it getting caught up in my feet. I sighed as I walked through the crowd feeling warm and hot as I looked around for the single familiar face I knew.

My eyes falling on to Shivaay as he appeared to be laughing and dancing. I smiled as I made my way towards him only to have my vision clear up as I realized he was slowly dancing with a woman.

I tightened my fists attempting to control my anger that was beginning to build up as I saw the woman appearing to lean on to his shoulder. What is happening? Who is that woman and how dare she?

I quickened my pace as I pushed through the dancers and made my way to Shivaay. Anger beginning to fog up my mind as I walked behind Shivaay grabbing his arm and pulling him away.

Shivaay's eyes widening as if he was caught in something I was not supposed to know of.

"A-Anika," His words fumbling as I glared at him. Pushing him back, I looked at the woman up and down. Seemingly taller than me, she stood with pride as she wore an unusual smile on her face. A smile showing snobbery and ego. Her beauty glistening in an emerald color dress which contrasted with her auburn colored hair. Her large brown eyes showing a sense of evilness. She was everything that I was not.

"Who is she?!" I exclaimed looking back at Shivaay. My hormones clearly getting the best of me as I felt anger reaching each and every single nerve of mines'.

"She is Tia Sharma and Anika it is not how it looks like. She is my business partner," Shivaay said having a tinge of dominance as he grabbed my arm pulling me back besides him. I looked at him confused as he hadn't mentioned her before. Why do I feel like he is lying to me? Why do I feel something is off? Looking back, I looked towards Tia as she smiled and waved at me.

"Hi so nice to meet you. And you are?" She questioned as she scrunched her nose up indicating a sense of disgust as she looked at me up and down. At that moment, I wanted to say so much to her as I hated people like her who judged others' by their wealth and beauty. I attempted to control myself as I realized she was Shivaay's business partner.

"Anika. She is my girlfriend," Shivaay said smiling as he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closely against him. His grip tight as he appeared to impose a sense of dominance and hinting me to keep my peace.

"Ohhh...how nice. I didn't know you were taken. I mean as far as I know you, you tend to have flings, but I rarely saw you with a girlfriend before. Is this serious or what?" Her voice seemingly taunting as she crossed her arms and threw a fake smile.

Oh the nerves. How dare she taunt me? Who does she think I am? Some cheap girl or something. Well, no she should know that I am not a cheap girl. I clenched my hands tightly on to my dupatta as I tried to maintain composure.

"If you are judging me from how I look then mind you, but you are wrong. I am studying to become a doctor and not a woman who indulges in flings Ms. Tia Sharma," My voice having a tinge of attitude as she appeared to glare at me.

"Anika enough," His voice holding command as he grabbed my hand entwining his hand with mines'.

"Tia if you will just excuse us for a moment please?" The tone of his voice quickly changing to an unusual politeness that he never showed before.

Tia nodded as she gave me a dirty look while I threw her a mean glare. Clearly, my hormones were taking part in the blatant attitude I was displaying in public. Before the pregnancy, I was never like this. My demeanor has always been submissive with a tinge of shyness, but since the last two months, ever since I got pregnant, I have become more rude. In fact, I am increasingly indulging in arguments with Shivaay where I show an unusual dominance that I haven't done before.

Shivaay dragged me out towards a pair of French doors that led to the large balcony of the party hall. His grip tightening on to my hand as he turned my body pulling me in front of him.

"What was that?!" He exclaimed angrily as I knew I had ticked him off.

"I should be asking the same question to you. What was that? What business were you doing by slow dancing with that woman?!" My voice coming out as little loud than normal.

"She's my business partner! What do you expect?!"

"Business! Why were you dancing so close to each other?! Even though no one knows about the true nature of our relationship, you still are bound to the rules of the purity and sancity of our relationship Mr. Shivaay Singh Oberoi! Mind you, that woman inside is not part of the Oberoi name, but I am! I am your wife, Mrs. Anika Shivaay Singh Oberoi! You have no right to disrespect me in public!" At this point I was literally screaming. An unusual obsession overcoming me that I was not aware of before. A sudden fear arising that that woman inside may just steal the man from me who means the world to me.

My words tying his thoughts in knots as he appeared to not know what to say or how to react. His eyes wide open as he appeared a bit shocked from my sudden rant. Ever since we had gotten married, I had rarely indulged in ranting and arguing with him in fact it was quite the opposite, so it was obvious why he would be shocked.

"Anika...why are you thinking such nonsense?" He questioned with a lowered tone as he placed his hands on my shoulder.

Tears beginning to brim in my eyes as I sighed and tried to keep myself calm. "I am pregnant Shivaay. This child inside of me is not only mines', but yours' as well. This small hope is ours' and do you know how serious this matter is? Our child is going to come into this world and it is essential we maintain a strong marriage for this child who deserves both of our love..."

"What are you talking about?" He suddenly spoke as he brought me into a tight hug.

"Anika, I love you and I love our child more than anything in the world. Please...do not create nonsensical fears in your mind. Tia means nothing to me ok? Shivaay is only yours' Look, I seriously think the pregnancy is beginning to affect you emotionally and making you think such nonsense ok?" His voice seemingly soothing me as he rubbed my shoulder. It was unusual for him to be so expressive in his thoughts and words as he rarely expressed them.

"I am feeling dizzy and nauseous and here you were enjoying and having fun with Tia. At least care for me now considering I am pregnant. Show some concern to your wife," I muttered as I continued to hug him.

"Tia she's a business partner and she asked for a small dance. But, now I know you do not like this and next time I will be mindful ok? Now, how about we go get you something to drink ok?" Shivaay said consolingly as I shook my head leaning against him.

"Remember, just as you are my world, I too should only be your world. Don't ever think about another woman ok?" I warned as he smiled and pecked my forehead.

"Yes ma'am. Now, let's go inside ok?" Shivaay said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the party.

Flashback Ends

I leaned against my bedroom door as I remembered the toxicity of our relationship. But there was so much more than I saw that day. That day, I had encountered my future. That day I had encountered the woman who would snatch my love away from me and make him hers'. But...Anika...he was never yours'. He was never yours'.

Shivaay's Point of View

You can never change. Never. And that is why you are incapable of loving anyone... because you only know...how to love yourself and not someone else... Her words have kept running through my mind the moment she spilled them from her heart.

Am I really someone who cannot love others? Is it true that I only know how to love myself and no one else? Don't I have the same heart as others? I cannot be that cold blooded that I am not able to love another woman. I love Anika. I love her so much and the moment I hurt her today...I felt as if I was going through the same pain that she was. Her screams from the pain echoing through my body and piercing every inch of it. The shattered piece of glasses hurt her, but somehow I felt the pain they caused as well.

A blanket of guilt and shame has touched me and embraced me the moment I was the cause of her pain. I don't know what happened to me, but anger just somehow blinded me and I was not able to comprehend anything leading me to hurt her. I didn't mean to break the glass mug, but it happened in a mere edge of anger that embodied me and led it break.

I would never hurt Anika. She means so much to me...I have realized her worth after I lost her. She is precious and I want to say so much to her, but only she would listen to me. Give me a chance. But, do I deserve one? How many chances can she give me? She gave me a chance when she found out I was playing around with her heart. Then in our marriage, she gave me many chances. I didn't come through on any of those chances, so how can I expect her to listen to me and give me chance? But, I have to get a chance. I cannot lose her.

I drove my car around the circular driveway parking it right in front of the large of set of stairs making their way inside home. I sighed as I laid my head against the car seat trying to relax myself, but somehow my thoughts only trailed back to Anika.

Grabbing my phone, I looked at it contemplating whether I should call her. I guess I should and apologize. I shouldn't have let her walk away from my office in tears. I should've grabbed her arm, pulled her close to me, and wiped her tears away. I had the right moment to confess my heart out to her and I missed it. However, I am not going to lose. I will get what I want.

Tapping her name on my phone, I held it closely against my ear as I heard the phone ringing on the other line. She will pick her phone up. I bet right now she is just staring at it and thinking what she should do. The phone almost going on voicemail before I heard a click. I heard her take a large breath as she didn't say a word waiting for me to say something. An awkward silence lasting for almost thirty seconds.

Mustering courage together, I finally spoke. "Anika...listen to me...I am sorry for what happened to-"

"Don't. I don't want to talk to you right now. Ok? Why can you not leave me alone?!" She exclaimed in frustration.

I sighed tapping my hands in frustration on the steering wheel at her tone. No one has ever dared to talk me in that tone. Somehow I have only allowed Anika to speak to me in such tone and it annoys me and makes me angry, but I bear through it because somewhere I want to.

"Just listen to me ok? Can you for once listen to me?!" I demanded as my level of frustration began to elevate.

"I don't care! Ok?! Haven't you already done enough damage?! Do you even know that we are everywhere today?! On the freakin TV and social media! God...if someone finds out about us...it's over. All of it. It may not matter to you, but it does to me. My family's integrity means everything to me!" She exclaimed.

I felt a bit taken aback from her sudden outburst upon me. It was unusual yet somewhat expected considering how emotionally sensitive she can be especially regarding her integrity and character. I would've gotten mad at her, but the sense of hopelessness and urgency apparent in her voice didn't allow me to. She is already distanced from me and if I do not support her and do something to save the secret from being revealed, then I might just lose her completely.

"Anika just listen to me once!" I exclaimed as I got out of my car, slamming the door shut and walking up the steps to the large pair of front doors.

"I don't want to listen! I just want you to leave me alone Shivaay!" She yelled on the other line as I took a sigh of frustration.

"I can't! Ok? I cannot leave you alone!" I exclaimed taking back a bodyguard who stood in the hallway.

"Well watch the news yourself and then I know you will be decided on staying away from me," She noted as the line went dead.

Anger began to build up in me as I clenched on to my phone tightly. How can she just shut off me like that? She has no right to treat me in such manner. No one treats Shivaay like this. No one.

I stomped my way down the small set of stairs into the large living area. Looking up, I noticed Ma, Papa, and Dadi sitting across the TV. Their heads quickly shooting up towards me as they caught sight of me.

"Shivaay!" Papa yelled as I stopped in my tracks and rolled my eyes in frustration looking back towards them.

"Do you even know what you have done?! Do you know how much this will hurt the company?!" He yelled as I looked at him confused trying to understand what exactly I had done.

"What do you mean?" I questioned as Papa took a breath of frustration.

"You and Anika! Both of you are everywhere in the tabloids today! There are pictures of you both walking together in front of the hospital and then there is a picture of you being intimate with a mystery girl last night which media outlets are reporting to be Anika. Do you even know how serious this is?! How can you play with fire?!" Papa yelled as my eyes widened as I began to understand exactly why Anika was not willing to talk to me on the phone. Her integrity clearly has been manipulated and ripped apart by the media.

"Your father is correct. You know I always felt something was going on between you two and now these pictures. You could've told your interest in Anika in the first place and things would have been solved right there as we would've bonded you both in a formal alliance," Ma claimed as I sighed in frustration and shook my head back and forth.

This awful family. All they care about is their image in society. They don't give a damn about my life or who I am with. All they are worried about is upholding the traditional Indian family image without a care in the world about me. I know them to well. Image is what matters nothing more.

"Last time I checked I am 35. So, clearly I am a grown man and can do what I like! So, for your kind information, please do not interfere in my life alright?" I noted as I began to walk away before Papa grabbed my arm.

Anger began to fume as I clenched my jaw trying to control myself. All I could think about was how my last outburst led someone to be hurt...Anika...I remember the look of disappointment across her face. That look that seemingly led to loss of hope that she somewhere still held for me.

"Don't do that Papa please. I am politely saying that back off and do not question me alright? I am not answerable to anyone!" I argued as Papa furrowed his eyebrows as I tugged my arm away angrily trying to maintain a dominant stance.

"You are answerable! Fine if you do not consider us as your family, I understand. However, as the CEO of such a huge hospital branch, this image of yours' being portrayed in the media is completely inappropriate. People are labeling you as a 'playboy' or 'no strings attached' type of a guy. Some are claiming that the so-called mystery girl from last night is someone else and Anika is a different girl. They are claiming you are two timing girls or you are just having fun. Moreover, the stupid statement you gave to the media ruined everything! The media thinks you are just having 'fun' with Anika!"

"Stop it! Don't you dare say that about Anika ok? You are my father and I have some respect for you still, but please do not let me lose that respect. Say everything you want to me, but not Anika..." My voice deepened as I looked him in the eyes making a clear point that now I was the man in power and not him anymore. Sure, he sits on the board, but I am the CEO and having a dominant percentage of shares, I hold the power to all the money we make and how much he get's. Beyond just being the CEO of the hospital branch, I also hold share in the textile factories back in India. So, I have power and in no way will I let Papa step over me.

Papa looked a bit taken aback by my statement as he took a step back. Indeed, I had always been cold to my parents, but today was a bit different. Before, I was cold to them only when I defended myself, but now I was being cold to them for another person, for the first time perhaps, not being selfish.

I noticed dadi slowly walking up to me as I simmered down my anger since out of everyone in this family, Dadi is someone who I have always respected. "Shivaay beta, tell me...do you love Anika?" Her statement clearly leading me to fumble as I didn't know what to say. Her statement clearly trapping me as I knew I couldn't lie to her.

I avoided her gaze as I looked away. "It's my life dadi ok? Also, please don't doubt Anika. Honestly, there is nothing between us. She is just an employee," I noted.

"What about the pictures?! How can you just play off such an image in public?! Shivaay try to understand!" Ma argued as I rolled my eyes before beginning to walk away.

"Don't tell Shivaay Singh Oberoi what to do. I don't care what people say because I will do what I want and I get what I desire no matter what." I smirked before walking up the stairs as I heard them call behind me, however, I did not once look back.

Rushing to my bedroom door, I slammed it shut wanting to isolate myself from the crazy, toxic family I belonged to.

Anika, you just think that my life is perfect. You think that you have it worse, but God I wish I could tell you what childhood I lived through.

My childhood hasn't been the best. Ma never cared about me. She was always busy with social gatherings and putting a fascade in front of the world about she was a humanitarian even though she hated associating herself who she thought was beneath her. Papa was always missing in the picture. He only thought about power and money to a point that he taught me that in life only power and money are worth living for and that one should only fight for these two not baseless relationships. He has taught me to always fight for what I want whether it had by doing good or bad because at the end of the day the only thing important is to win the object that one's heart wants and desires. Indeed, I do not want to follow my father's teachings, but they have become so engraved inside of me that it has become a habit that I cannot break too easily.

https://youtu.be/qCgjpLEzBkg

Anika, I wish I could be the man you want me to be, but it's not easy. I don't know how I am supposed be good because all my life I have only be taught to be a man who fights for money and power. I don't know how to win your heart because I was never taught how to. I have only learned to fight for my desires by hook or crook.

Anika you are mine. I will do everything to make you mine because I cannot let you go now. Shivaay Singh Oberoi never let's go of someone who he desires and who he marks.

Looking at me phone, I decided to once more call Anika and apologize. I never apologize to anyone, but to Anika I will. She is the only person I cannot hurt because my heart doesn't allow me to. If I can at least be ten percent of the man she desires then I will be a step closer to making her mine.

Anika's Point of View

I sat still against my bedroom door as I leaned my head against it. Tears trailing down my cheeks as I ran my hand on my right palm, tracing the edges of the bandage as I flinched in pain. Why is it that you always hurt me? Is it true that you can never love anyone else besides yourself?

I don't even know why I am crying, but perhaps, I am crying over a broken fate...a lost love...and most of all fear. Fear that I am going to lose everything soon. Lose my integrity. Lose my family's trust. Lose the pride of my family by having it maligned by my secret being revealed.

If this secret comes out, I do not know what I am going to do. What am I going to say? How will my parents react? Just the thought of it is making me feel as if the ground beneath me is going to crumble and the sky is going to fall above me. I don't even want to think about the consequences. Even thinking about it may bring this secret to life.

My phone began to ring once more as I sighed looking at it realizing it was Shivaay once again. He had calling me since the last two hours nonstop without any end to. I could've turned my phone off, but I have an irrational fear that if a thief comes into my home and if I have my phone off then how would I call the police.

If I pick it once again, would it make him stop calling? Perhaps. I could give it a try since he is not giving in and is keeping on calling me. I quickly got up as I walked to my room window and picked up the call.

"What do you want?" My voice unusually blunt as I tried to not appear vulnerable on the phone.

"Well, at least you finally picked up. Has your anger finally calmed down? It probably has because it always does. You can never stay angry for long." He retorted in a sarcastic voice. I rolled my eyes as I realized he didn't have a tinge of remorse from what had happened.

"No. It hasn't actually, but I picked up because you have annoyed me to hell in the past two hours. Plus, I could ask the same. Do you have any remorse over what happened? Did you really have to defend me like that in public? Your defensive statement just put more wrong ideas in people's minds. However, beyond that the way you behaved today with me in the office was so upsetting..." I felt tears running down my cheeks as I flinched in pain.

"I am sorry Anika. I am so sorry. You know my anger. It is something that I cannot control at times...but I know I have hurt you today, so forgive me please." His voice had an urgent plea and somewhere I felt that he was honest. I mean he never apologizes, but he has been apologizing to me which is different. But is it believable? Can I really believe him and forgive him? Perhaps, not.

"It's not easy to forgive. Just saying that magic word doesn't fix everything. If a person truly changes then does the other gain courage to forgive. So, please don't expect that I would forgive you." I took a deep breath as I tried to control my anger that was still present.

"Well I will change and will wait for the day you forgive me Anika..." He whispered as I shook my head back and forth knowing he would never change. I cannot tell you how many times I have given him chances and how many times he has missed them. He never changed then and he will not change now.

"You will not change. You never did Shivaay and I don't think you ever will..." My voice flowing out as a small whisper as memories rushed back clentching on to my gut tightly and telling me to not speak more.

Without saying another word, the line went dead. He disappeared like he always did when he had to confront his mistakes...He's not brave enough to face his flaws and he never will be.

Shivaay's Point of View

I know why you cannot trust me Anika. I have wronged you so much. You do not deserve me, but then I cannot let go of you. I cannot let go of my love for you. I once did and that was the biggest mistake I made...

Flashback:

"How dare you talk to my mother like that Tia?!" I felt infuriated as I looked at Tia who looked at me nonchalantly as she was laying on the bed.

"Oh? So now that woman complained about me to you? Who does she think she is?! This house runs on the money you make and look at how that woman acts?!" She exclaimed as she got up and walked towards me.

How dare she talk like that about my mother? Sure, I have a toxic relationship with my family, including Ma, but still it doesn't mean she deserves disrespect. How can Tia just disrespect Ma like that? Why does she hold such attitude and ego? Anika...was never like that. I halted the thought as I reminded myself of the promise I made of not thinking about her.

"Don't you dare disrespect Ma. You have no right!"

"Well she has no right to tell me that I should be more domestic! I am not the typical housewife Shivaay and you should know that. I mean what era is Ma from? I am a modern, millennial, educated woman who can be more than just a housewife for your kind information," Tia argued as she pointed her finger at me. I bit my lip trying to control myself, but this sick attitude of hers' definitely gets to me.

"I know you are modern and this domestic life is not for you Tia, but Ma is not wrong. You are my wife and you should somewhat show some care towards me," I argued as Tia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Acha, what care? Last time I checked, we have been married for about four months and not once have been intimate. Moreover, this supposed care of setting out your clothes, making tea for you, and food for you is something servants do ok? I am not your servant and I hope you understand that Shivaay. I am your equal both in this relationship and in the fact my father invested money in your new project," Her last statement taunting me as I felt it make a cut in my ego.

"If only he didn't. If he only hadn't made our marriage a business deal and set money into the project, I would have already left you. Actually, I wouldn't even have married you!" I exclaimed immediately regretting that the truth slipped out of my tongue. I didn't want it to, but somewhat it felt appropriate for the moment. I wanted to show her place and how she was worthless besides the value her father offered to my project.

I was expecting tears or some level of sadness, but instead a wide smile appeared on her malicious face before she began laughing out loud.

"Uff...hmm...you miss Anika still don't you?" She questioned abruptly.

Her statement initiating an unusual set of memories I did not want to be reminded of. Memories of her...Anika...Each and every moment beginning to play in my mind. The care she showed. The kindness she displayed. The way she ensured I was happy and how I pretended not to be...She was the wife that I always needed.

"Don't say her name." I muttered as I threw her a glare.

Tia laughed as she shook her head back and forth. "Hm...I don't know what was so special in that girl? I mean...then why did you allow me to come close to you if that Anika was so special to you? I bet you compare her to me all the time. I know you too well," She taunted.

"Don't say her name ok? This is about us and not her."

"Ok! Don't be so sensitive about her. But, I know she's still there. That's why you cannot even convince yourself to become intimate with me. I bet you see her when you even think about touching. I wonder what that cheap girl had-"

"Tia!" My hand grabbing the glass vase besides me as I threw it on the ground. Tia yelling loudly as she took a step back looking a bit shocked from my sudden outburst.

"Don't you dare say another word about Anika! Do you understand?! Get out! Get out!" I screamed as Tia screamed in rage before slamming the room's door shut.

My body beginning to shake as I was in rage. Memories of Anika beginning to race through my mind. My heart having an unusual ache as I began to take deep breaths. Her smile. Her laugh. Her touch and affection. Memories of all beginning to run as I could only think of her. She never acted like this with me. Ego never touched her. She always listened to me and never argued. She always listened to my silliest and strictest demands without saying a word. She sacrificed everything for me and for the supposed love she had for me. Not once did she disrespect me or question me why I didn't give her the status of a daughter-in-law of the Oberoi family. Not once did she question my decisions. She was not like Tia. She was the complete opposite. She did everything to please me without any complaints. Did she really love me?

Did I really lose something valuable? Was I wrong in what I did? Did Anika deserve such revenge or was it truly my fault?

Flashback Ends

Indeed, the fault was mine. I wronged you Anika by playing with your heart. You were so valuable who came to add beauty to my broken world, but I failed to realize that. I failed to realize your worthiness. I know I don't deserve you, but I need you Anika. I cannot imagine a life without you.

I want to change Anika. I want to change for you, so I can have you. I want to be the man that you deserve. I want to be good to you.

But somewhere my soul is pulling me back and telling me to not change. Perhaps, ego and narcissism have become part of my soul and it's something that I cannot let go of anymore. Every time I want to confess to you and tell you how much I love you, somehow my ego and anger comes in between us. I have always been the man in control of my emotions through emoting ego and anger, perhaps, this is the reason why my ego and anger comes in between because I cannot be vulnerable. Vulnerable to my feelings. I never learned to be vulnerable and perhaps that's why I continue to hurt you despite how much I want to love you.

"Shivaay..." Looking back from my bedroom window, I noticed it was Om standing right behind me.

"What?" I was not in mood to talk to anyone in the moment. I would rather indulge in the pitch black darkness of this room then walk out of it and face the toxic, chaotic environment that exists outside of this room and converse with toxicity existent in all members of this family.

"I know we haven't been the close as brothers the way others may be, but I hope you at least trust me enough to indulge the feelings you pretend to hide, but can come clearly across your face."

Looking back at him confused, I raised my eyebrow in curiosity as I took a step towards him. What does he mean? What feelings can be seen on my face that I have failed to see? As far as I know, I am pretty good at masking myself and blending myself into the toxic environment.

"Don't look at me like that Shivaay. You are definitely hiding something. It's clearly evident in the way you reacted to Ma and Papa tonight. Are you and Anika finally together?"

My eyes widening at his last statement. Clearly, he also has become suspicious. I mean he was at the beach with me last night and I confessed to him how much I love Anika. He knows everything and it's obvious he would think Anika and I are together after the tabloid news.

How I wish I was with Anika. How I wish I could do something and make her mine again. I wish, but wishes sometimes don't simply come true. Sometimes you have to force upon fate and make wishes come true.

"No. It's not easy to win someone's heart who has always given it to you without any regrets only to have it broken." I felt a bit taken aback by the sudden slip of confession from my heart. Indeed, love can make you vulnerable to spilling the deep secrets of the heart.

"What about the woman you were with last night? Where did she come from after I left?" Om questioned with a sense of intense curiosity in his voice.

His words instantly trapping me as I did not have an answer. Well I had an answer, but not a dishonest answer. In no means should I tell him it was Anika who I was with last night. I have to respect our privacy and most of all Anika's character. As Anika said, love is shown through respect and it's important I practice respecting her first before initiating a set of steps that would bring me closer towards her.

"It's my life Om. I don't think I should be answerable to anyone, especially to not you considering I am your older brother and I no well between what is wrong and right. I am old enough to make decisions ok?"

"I know, but you claim to love Anika then why were you with someone else last night? It doesn't make sense," Om argued as I sighed shaking my head back and forth in an attempt to control my frustration from the amount of questions her was asking.

"I love Anika and that is something that will never change. Last night I got drunk and I met a girl. So what? Nothing more than that ok?" I attempted to play down the situation in an attempt to avoid the conversation completely because I know the moment I will touch it, I may be at risk of revealing what happened last night.

"If you love Anika then you wouldn't even have come near someone else. Somewhere I do not believe you and I feel like you are still hiding something, but I am not going to push you. All I can say is that I am always here and whenever you feel comfortable, you can share your feelings with me ok?" Om noted as I rolled my eyes placing my hand on his shoulder.

"I know Om. Thank you for giving me space and respecting my privacy. I think it's better that we both do not approach this topic for a while. It's better you leave me the way I am in this situation. I don't want you to get involved in the mess I have created." Om smiled and nodded before walking out the door.

Biting my lip, I walked back to my window and looked out at the darkness that stood outside to greet me. This same darkness present last night when I brought myself so close to Anika. Last night where I gave into my love for her and made her mine. I don't know what happened, but the moment I laid my lips on hers, I found my love for her gaining momentum, losing control, and spiraling as an intense need to touch her, hold her, and provide her comfort emerged inside of me. Somehow, the moment she admitted that she wanted to hold me close and take the next step gave me comfort and hope that perhaps she too wanted to bring life to a relationship we had lost ages ago. I gained hope that she still loved me the way I have come to love her. But the moment she told me it was lust...that hope shattered.

How can she think it was lust? How can she when she laid so close to me, hearing my heartbeat, and knowing that I had provided her comfort and care like never before, could she think it was lust and not love? How could she not recognize the love I had emulated last night? Anika what has happened to you?

I thought you loved me then how can you say you do not anymore? How? Have I shattered you so much that there is no way you can love me anymore? I wish I can turn back time to the moment you were mines'. Shivaay what have you done? You destroyed everything you had by your own hands...How are you going to win her heart back? How are you going to make her yours?

---

Morning

Anika's Point of View

My hands ran through the fresh set of roses as I smiled and sprayed water upon them. A small hint of sunshine fell upon me as I noticed the sun peaking out of the clouds and making its presence known. Whenever I tend to be low, I always find myself in my backyard amongst the flowers I have worked hard to grow over the past few years. Somehow the flowers remind me that just as they have struggled to grow and bloom in rain or shine, so too I shall face my struggles and worries in life to further grow as a person and bloom to my best potential without giving up.

"Anika! Breakfast is ready!" Mom yelled through the kitchen window as I looked back and took a step towards the patio.

"Yeah, I will be in there Mom! I am just going to water the rose bushes outside in the front yard ok?!" I yelled back as Mom rolled her eyes. I could tell she was frustrated that I had taken upon the task to water the plants today early in the morning. But what can I do? My nerves have been crackling since last night due to the tabloid news and my parents' suspicion. In fact, I didn't sleep all night due to my nerves. So, here I am trying to relax by watering roses with an intention to get some peace.

I tried to give her a bright smile as I wrapped the bright pink bathrobe around me tightly and made my way through the wooden fence and into the front driveway. Turning on the water hose, I began to quickly spray water onto the bush of pink and white roses in an attempt to help them gather some life that had been lost due to many days of no rain.

A sense of peace touched me as I smiled and smelled the roses once more. Their fragrance eternal and everlasting just like the lovers who prick them and give it to one another. If only this peace could last for a little bit longer I thought as I smiled and softly touched the roses.

"If only they could be as beautiful as you are..." The deep voice catching me as I quickly turned around my eyes widening as a large trail of water fell upon the familiar, tall figure in front of me...Shivaay.

My eyes widening as I attempted to contemplate whether what I was seeing was reality or not. My hand still squeezing the handle of the water hose as the water continued to spray him. The water clenching tightly on to his black cotton shirt as it trailed through the dark waves of his hair.

I froze not knowing what to do or say. Questions running through my mind. What is he doing here? What if my parents see him? Oh my God. What will happen? What will they say?

Raising his hands up in the air, he chuckled as he took a step back as the water hose continued to spray him.

"Anika! Anika! Let go of the hose!" The yelling disrupting my trail of thoughts as I immediately dropped the hose in fear, realizing it was Mom quickly walking towards us down the steps of the front door. Her eyebrows slightly furrowing as she looked at Shivaay. I could tell he was reminding her of the tabloid news and the immense rumors about both of us that was still circulating.

Looking back, I noticed Shivaay stifling a chuckle as he looked at me up and down-at the mess I was in. My hair a tangled mess like a sloppy Joe, as they were held up tightly after a shampoo, while I wore just a bathrobe with leggings underneath. Indeed, it looked like I had done cruelty on my looks. I awkwardly looked around trying to not meet his gaze which was somewhat making me self-conscious as he appeared to look at me up and down capturing details that I didn't want him to see.

"Namaste aunty. How are you?" His voice having an edge of confidence despite standing in front of a mother whose daughter was being linked with him in ill manners in the media.

Mom looked at him awkwardly as she looked back towards me and then him trying to catch small hints of a relationship that she believed existed between us. If only she knew that the reality was the complete opposite.

"Namaste. I am fine and you and your family?" Mom questioned as she slightly smiled trying to play off the anger and frustration she held over the tabloid reports.

"They're great. Um...I actually have something important to talk about," Shivaay noted as I raised my eyebrow slightly confused about what he wanted to talk about. What are his intentions? God, what if he blurts nonsense and creates a bigger mess?

"Of course we can go inside. But, Anika look what you did to his poor clothes? Could you not see what you were doing?!" Mom taunted lightly hitting my shoulder as I rolled my eyes and looked at Shivaay who had a wide smirk on his face.

"I didn't do it on purpose. He caught me off guard" I argued as Mom shook her head in annoyance.

"Let's go inside Shivaay and Anika get him a towel ok?" Mom ordered as I took a sigh of frustration as I followed them up the steps and into the house.

I can never predict what my mom will do. Last night she was going nuts over the tabloids and had frustration towards Shivaay and I and now she bringing Shivaay inside our home and being polite to him.

"Hi Shivaay, beta how are you?" Dad called out smiling as he made his way towards Shivaay shaking his hand.

"Anika go get a towel!" Mom exclaimed as I rolled my eyes.

Shivaay still holding on to a playful smirk as he looked back towards me while walking to the sitting area. What is he looking at and what is he proud of? Proud of the fact how he manhandled me in the office yesterday or how he broke my hope, that he will change, once again. Despite everything, he still has the audacity to give me the playful looks and stand in my home.

Sticking my tongue out at him, I threw him a glare as he rolled his eyes knowing he was getting to me. Looking away, I walked to the closet of the laundry room and grabbed a fresh towel for him.

I wonder why he is here and what intentions he holds. Looking up, I noticed him smiling and holding on to a casual conversation with my parents. What is he up to? Last time I checked, he is not a morning person and to wake up this early to show up at my house is definitely unusual.

"Actually, I shouldn't have come so early to meet you all, but the situation at hand requires me to meet you at the earliest time and clear the air," Shivaay noted as Mom and dad looked at each other confused.

"Clear the air about what Shivaay?" Mom questioned curiously as he looked up at me standing near the entryway of the living room. I could tell doubts were arising in her mind as if she was anticipating a confession of a relationship.

"Um...about what the news is saying. I feel awful that your daughter has been dragged into this matter. I mean Anika is your family's pride and I know you must be upset with what the media is saying about her and me. I am just here to assure you that there is nothing between Anika and I." His voice holding command as he appeared to place my parents on a path of illusion that him and I are just strangers who were never involved romantically.

Indeed, I have always hated this tendency of his to mislead others, but today I will not complain because it is absolutely needed to confine a secret that I know will break my parents.

"But...the pictures...they are showing a different story," Dad questioned catching Shivaay off guard. Biting his lips, he drummed his fingers on his lap attempting to think of a lie.

"The pictures are misleading uncle. In fact, Anika is just my employee and that is all. In fact, Papa decided to assign us both to organize a fashion show to raise money for free clinics we are opening in the area. Papa was genuinely impressed with Anika's ideas on how to run the fashion show, so he decided that since Anika cannot satisfy the physically demanding schedule a physician, it would be best if she could pursue this project while she's off from her injury..." His words playing them and trapping them in the web he wanted.

"But...Anika was called to work the night before. How could the hospital do that?" Mom questioned.

Great. Just great. Just when I thought my parents were falling for it did this question come up. Somehow mom did not fall for his words, but instead formed more doubts and questions. Now what are we going to do? If they find out that I was with Shivaay the night before...I cannot imagine what they will do.

"Um...you are correct. I was notified there was a major emergency and the closest doctor locally was Anika, so she was called in at night. Clearly, protocols were broken and I am definitely looking into it which is why I am familiar with the matter. Of course, I cannot detail you on the situation since that will be a patient privacy violation, but I can say that Anika shouldn't have been called in to work, but she was and thank you for doing that Anika, but honestly it's disappointing what happened to you," Shivaay noted as he looked up at me playing up the lie. I raised my eyebrow as he side eyed to my parents sitting across from him on the sofa.

Now I know how he played with me. He is too good at lying to a point that it appears what you think is reality is actually an illusion and the lie he tells is the actual truth.

Of course, I am not happy with playing along with the lie, but if this gets my parents off of my back and kills their suspicions then it is best I agree with this lie.

"Um...no problem Mr. Oberoi. It was my duty and I pursued it with my will. I mean I am doctor after all..." I said throwing him a fake smile as I looked back at my parents.

Mom and dad appearing somewhat convinced as they looked at both of us back and forth. Attempting to gather all the information at hand and determine what was real and what was not. I attempted to play it cool as I tried to not showcase the fear and anxiety I had running through my mind about everything from the night I spent to the tabloid news that was threatening to reveal my secret.

"Well thank you for clarifying Shivaay and honestly we were worried about everything that has been happening, but your words have given clarity and they do reflect honesty," Mom noted smiling.

Honesty. My mom who is excellent at judging others' and telling the difference between the truth and false failed to figure his lie out. Indeed, he is excellent in masking the truth and filling the world with lies. However, despite what he did, I am somewhat breathing a sigh of relief that my parents are not suspicious of me anymore. It is crucial they do not develop any suspicions.

"Anika what are you doing there? Give him the towel!" Mom ordered as I quickly handed him the towel. His hand softly brushing against mines' as he looked up at me and smiled.

"Do you want any tea or coffee?" Mom questioned politely as he smiled and turned towards me.

"Um...chai would be nice for a change. I am a bit tired from drinking coffee." He muttered as he smiled looking up towards me.

"Well, of course then. Anika go make chai for him ok?" Mom ordered as I faked a smile before throwing him a glare and walking away.

When we were married, he would always drink chai made by me. I remember how he used to be a coffee addict and somehow my chai won him over. In fact, it became ritual to drink chai together each evening when he came from work.

Flashback

https://youtu.be/SVAT6uaGjbY

"Chai..." I muttered angrily as I slammed the cup on the coffee table. Looking up from the newspaper, he slipped off his glasses as he looked at me with a tinge of anger from the so-called disrespect.

"What is this? You know I hate it when someone behaves in this manner!" He exclaimed as he threw the newspaper on the side of the sofa as he was ready to fire off his anger.

"I don't care! Just as you hate how I behave like this, I too hate how you decide to come home late and misbehave with me. That is more disgusting than this." My anger slowly building up as I was ready to slip it off on him. For months, I had attempted to control my anger, but last night was enough. I remember how he angrily lunged forward and continued to yell at me and argue with me as I relented and tried to keep my cool to avoid the neighbors from hearing us.

Grabbing my hand, he entwined his fingers into them as he pulled me closer behind him. My hand wanting to let go of his as I tried to pull it back. Turning back, he smiled as he looked at me as I avoided his gaze.

"Anika can you please forget about last night?" His voice having an unusual plea as I pushed my hand away from his.

"Shivaay, I wonder how many times you have repeated this statement of yours' since the past few months? Every night is the same then why would I forget. Every night you come home late and then when I tell you that you should be spending time with your family, all you do is argue and berate me as if I am your servant...Well I am not." The minute the words slipped out of my mouth, I was quite surprised at myself that I brought about that unusual tone of dominance which I have rarely used with Shivaay. However, this statement was needed considering how he has been treating me. What important work does he have that he is out late at night? How inconsiderate can he be?

Shivaay sat still on the sofa looking a bit taken as I rarely used that tone with him. In fact, he was always the one dominating me and I was the one who was submitting to his will.

"Anika..." His voice slipping out as a whisper as I sighed ignoring him as I began to walk away only to find my dupatta being pulled back. Rolling my eyes, I turned back towards him as the pale yellow colored dupatta merged with his hand as he held on to it tightly. I furrowed my eyebrows at him as I grabbed on to the dupatta attempting to pull it away from his as he smirked.

"Uff...I love it when you play hard to get," His voice having a tinge of playfulness as he attempted to play off the seriousness of the situation.

"Let go!" I exclaimed as he chuckled and tugged on the dupatta pulling me closer towards him before grabbing on to my waist.

"Hmm...my Anika gets mad too?" He said as I crossed my arms trying to be angry, but his touch was indeed not allowing me that. The way his soft hands rested against my skin initiating the same spark of romance I felt from the day I laid my eyes on him, I somewhat could not resist myself from wanting him to hold me close.

"Anika please don't be mad. I hate it when you get mad at me," He whispered as he laid the side of his face against my cheek pulling me closer against him. The warmth of his hands heating up the edges of the anarkali I wore as his touch urged me to give in.

"I have told you so many times to come home on time then why are you out so late and that too with that Tia." I noted as I scrunched my nose in disgust as I reminded myself of that woman.

Ever since Tia, the daughter of Shivaay's business partner, decided to join her father in the business and do a project with Shivaay, I have developed an unusual fear...fear of losing him to her. I don't know, but the way she finds ways of meeting him, spending long hours with him in that office, and the way she looks at him with that unusual dazed looking eyes gives me fear.

Considering she is attractive and unusually smart, I have developed a certain amount of jealousy as I find comparing my looks and smarts with her. But more than that I have developed a fear that Shivaay might just lose himself to her. Shivaay is the only one I have and if I lose him to her then I will have nothing in life. I will be barren and deprived of love. I have no one else in this life to call my own besides Shivaay. I left everything, including my family, for him and if he leaves me, I don't know what I will do.

"Anika, how many times do I tell you that Tia is a good, professional woman with whom I am working on an important project. There's nothing more. Why are you failing to trust me?" Shivaay questioned as he looked back at me looking into my eyes and trying to comprehend what I was trying to say.

"I trust you, but...I don't trust Tia. I don't know. I get this weird feeling from her and I don't know what it is, but there's something off about her. I am a woman and I can easily tell when a woman develops an attraction for a man. I am telling you that Tia has something for you...like an attraction-"

"Shhh" His finger placed on my lips as he shushed me shaking his head back and forth. His eyes slightly glistening as I could tell he was upset with the words I had said, but what can I do? That Tia gives me negative vibes and fear...fear that I might just lose my love to her.

"Anika...you are my everything and just know that I love you. You're the only woman I share such love for. I admire you for who you are, so I don't care what Tia thinks or feels about me because she's not worth anything in my life. In fact, you mean everything to me and you are the most valuable person in my life. Why don't you understand?" His words making a deeper cut into my emotions as I realized their genuineness. My jealousy somewhat being flamed down by his words as I realized I was the only woman he admired in his life.

"I know, but I am scared of losing you Shivaay. I love you so much and the thought of losing you incites so much fear. I have no one besides you and I love you so much..." I whispered as I pulled him into a hug. His large arms immediately wrapping around me and holding on to me tightly. I felt him smile against the nape of my neck as he kissed it. My cheeks warming up as his touch initiated a set of goosebumps.

"You won't lose me. I will always be in your heart and you will always be in mine..." He whispered as I smiled and dug my face into his chest.

"Now can we start our ritual of drinking tea together or no? I have missed doing this for the last few days since I was busy with the project," He said laughing as I rolled my eyes and looked at the single cup of chai.

"I only made it for you today. I wasn't in the mood to drink tea with you," I noted as he smiled and grabbed the cup of chai.

"No problem we can share hmm? You first. I am sure the tea was bitter due to the anger you filled it with, but I am sure it will get sweeter once you drink from it now since ma'am of course is in a better mood," Shivaay joked as I lightly hit his shoulder as he chuckled.

"Here." He held the cup of chai out for me as I smiled and took a sip from it. His eyes seemingly fixated upon me making me feel more self-conscious. I shyly smiled and held the cup for him as he took a sip from it. His eyes closed as he appeared to seep into the comfort of the chai's aroma. His eyes widening as he smacked his lips and gave me a thumbs up.

"Only you could make the best chai in the world. You truly have healed a previous coffee addict," He said jokingly as I smiled.

"Well I guess I should be proud then," I noted shrugging my shoulders at him as he shook his head and grabbed my face. His hands wrapping around my cheeks as he smiled and looked at me.

"I am lucky to have a wife like you Anika. I must have done some good to have you," He said proudly as I felt humbled not knowing what to say or how to react. Pulling me closer, I noticed him looking at my forehead and without a second thought, he placed his soft lips against it marking me and letting me know I was his. I smiled as I realized I was a fool to even think Tia was seducing him. He is only mine and will always be mine.

Suddenly, I heard a loud pitched cry realizing she was awake. Shivaay sighed as he let go of me realizing who it was. I giggled as I let go of him and walked towards the end of the sofa.

"Hm...looks like she is just like her mother. Ready to ruin every romantic moment!" Shivaay exclaimed as he chuckled.

I smiled as I looked at the beautiful angel in front of me. Her beautiful hazel eyes glistening as little pearl like tears emerged from them that went down on to her rosy cheeks. Kicking her feet up in the air, she appeared to reach out to me. I smiled as I quickly picked her up from her crib laying her against my heart. Her cries somehow paining me as she continued to scream.

"Aww...it's ok Chaaya. Mommy is here ok? Don't cry my baby," I whispered softly as she cooed and slapped her small hands against me.

"Almost four months old," Shivaay said smiling as he wrapped his arm around me and ran his hands softly through her dark brown curls.

"I know...I wish mom and dad could meet her...They would be so happy," I whispered trying to hold back tears as Shivaay rubbed my shoulder.

"I wish they were not still upset with you...Is loving someone a crime?" His question making my heartbeat increase as I remembered how mom and dad reacted the moment I told them I could not marry the man of their choice because I loved someone else. I tried to stop the thought as I looked at my world in my arms. Her innocent smile as she appeared to look up at both of us.

"No. Loving someone is never a crime, but challenging society and its norms due to love is a crime Shivaay." He sighed as he pulled me closer into his arms resting his lips on top of my head hoping to comfort me. I felt tears building up in my eyes as I remembered my parents and how long it had been since I talked to them. I want to talk to them, but I know I have completely broken them and that their values and norms will prevent them from taking me back unless I give up Shivaay.

We stood in silence as I ran my hands through Chaaya's hair and comforted her as she appeared to calm down. I looked at her innocence that lacked awareness of the world's atrocities and society's unusual norms. I wish I can capture her innocence and prolong it as she grows up. I hope I can continue to protect her from the world's harms and love and cherish her forever.

Shivaay leaned in and kissed Chaaya's forehead as she smiled and placed her hand on his face. I noticed a genuine, simple smile appear on Shivaay's face as he continued to look at Chaaya. He was a man who rarely showed emotions, but I could tell from that smile that he shared deep love and fondness for his child.

"Thank you for giving me her. My world," His voice barely breaking through as it appeared to crack.

Looking back, I saw vulnerability in his eyes as they appeared to glisten. Indeed, such vulnerability took me aback for a second as I had never seen him so vulnerable the way he was with Chaaya. He has never been this vulnerable, in fact, he has been the complete opposite as he is a man who always holds anger on his tips and plays with an ego. These are two dominant traits he portrays in daily life. This moment that we are sharing right now is rare. Expressing his love to me and holding me close is something that rarely happens. However, I know he loves me and that's all that matters because without him I cannot imagine my life.

I guess, parenthood can melt a cold heart just as I have witnessed. I smiled as I looked at Chaaya's innocent face knowing she was the reason behind melting her father's heart. I hope you continue to change your father Chaaya.

"She's both of our souls Shivaay. I never thought I could have a child. I lost hope, but, look fate was so good who laid her in my lap. She's our world," I said proudly as we smiled and looked at her admiring her innocent soul that had touched our hearts.

Chaaya. Our world. Her innocence touching us the moment she came. Her smile mending our wounds. Her eyes telling us everything was going to be ok. She brought comfort to our broken world and brought darkness to our sadness and light to our happiness. Indeed, she was our world until...

Flashback Ends

https://youtu.be/NWg1cdrWVm4

My body stood frozen as I felt tears beginning to run down my cheeks. My heart beginning to ache as I had dug up a deep wound on it.

Chaaya. I miss you so much. Your mom misses you so much. I remember you and I have all the memories, but it's so hard to face them. I don't have the energy to face them knowing what happened. You are my world Chaaya and I hope you know what I mean to you. You are my soul and I have lost life ever since...I stopped the thought as I couldn't bear the pain of the wound that I had initiated.

For years, I have taught myself to forget what happened and I have been successful at it until Shivaay came back. All the memories came back. And now Chaaya came back to my mind as well. I have never forgotten Chaaya, but I have learned to not think about the event...I want to remember her every minute, but then how will I keep strength for my parents? I have already hurt them before and after that we haven't shared the same relationship, but being their only child, I have to be strong and not fall because now it is my duty as a daughter to care them and be their support. I halted the pain as I attempted to think of something else trying to divert my attention from what had happened and how I lost her.

I suddenly heard a loud whistle shaking my body as I snapped out of my trail of thoughts and noticed the chai was boiling out of the pot and spreading into the stove. Quickly grabbing the pot, I pulled it up from the stove and placed it on the counter.

"Anika! What is this?!" Mom exclaimed as she looked at the mess I had created.

"You are always lost in your thoughts!" Mom said with a tinge of annoyance as I rolled my eyes and began to clean up the stove.

"Bring chai quickly for Shivaay. It's been so long!" Mom exclaimed as I sighed and quickly cleaned up the stove.

Grabbing the pot, I slowly poured the chai into a mug. I am guessing he still doesn't eat sweets since he wants to maintain bitterness. I thought heavily annoyed as I avoided bringing any cookies and walked with the mug quickly towards the living room.

Loud laughs emerging from the living room as Shivaay appeared to have completely charmed my parents. He was an expert at charming and fooling others. After all, I am a prime example of someone he fooled in an excellent manner.

"Yeah, Priyanka is having a lot of fun on her honeymoon except for the fact that she got chased by a dog. I mean the story is truly something," Shivaay noted laughing.

His foolish smile somewhat attracting my gaze as I fought to look away, but couldn't. Somehow his smile always pulled me towards him and I cannot pinpoint what, but there is something unusual about his smile that catches my eye and forces me to look at it. Perhaps, it's the fact that his smile and laughs are rare, so when they happen they catch attention.

Shivaay looked back at me as he continued to laugh. His eyes not moving away as he held them towards me. A sense of a long wait apparent in his eyes as he appeared to have waited to catch sight of me. An unusual dazed like expression apparent across his face as he looked at me holding the mug of chai for him. What is he looking at? I look like a complete mess, so what is he finding so interesting?

"Look Anika finally came! I thought you got lost in the kitchen!" Dad joked as I rolled my eyes towards him before placing the mug of tea on the coffee table creating a loud sound.

Shivaay looking a bit taken aback as he raised his eyebrow looking back towards me. He knew exactly what I had done. I hid a smile knowing how much he hated it when someone slammed food or a drink in front of him. It's a pet peeve of his.

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean to," I said innocently as I took a seat on a single sofa across from him. Crossing my arms, I leaned back on the sofa as I noticed my parents giving me a confused look.

I expected some negative response, but instead a light smirk played on his lips as he looked towards me. His gaze standing still as he grabbed the mug. Running his lips on the edges of the mug as he appeared to seep in the aroma of the simmering chai. He smiled as he took a sip of the chai continuing to look towards me. His gaze breaking down some bravery I held as I began to feel self conscious. Awkwardly, running my hands through my hair as I attempted to look away. His gaze...familiar from the night before. The way he held me close and looked at me as if I was his world...I attempted to stop the thought as I bit my lip trying to bite into and remove that momentary attraction I was reminded of from that night.

"Intoxicating." My eyes widened as I heard the unusual word slip from his mouth.

"Intoxicating?" My mom clearly confused by his word choice as he looked back toward her trying to play off a charming smile.

"I have never drunk such soul pleasing chai before. Clearly this chai reflects the heart of the one who made it. Anika truly knows how to charm someone and heal someone. This is intoxicating for a coffee addict of course. I think if I learn to make chai like this, I might just stop drinking coffee at all," Shivaay said as my parents laughed at his last joke.

My cheeks definitely showing a deeper shade of red as his words had definitely touched me in an innocent way. His words definitely touching feelings of the past that were somewhat still alive. Why do his words unwantingly charm me no matter how much I resist? He's like a charmer whose mere words can make a lost soul like me become hypnotized by him and follow him like a servant.

"You truly are a healer," Shivaay remarked as I looked into eyes finding that his words held our truth.


Thank you for reading :) If you haven't yet read the midseason preview then please do read it as well :) Thank you :)

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