Hello everyone :) I decided to also give an update on Chapter 21. I want to thank God and all of you loyal readers for giving this story lots of love and blessings :)

NOTE/WARNING: I promise this is the last chapter with a lot of details and Anika talking to herself, but the next chapters will stop doing this. ---->This chapter has a lot of Anika's thought process and this will explain why Anika took the steps necessary to forgive Shivaay when she found out about his revenge plan. This chapter explains why Anika decided to marry Shivaay. This chapter explains why Shivika's marriage was a secret. So, if possible please do read this chapter closely because it has a lot of answers to questions you have.

From now on less details will be implemented and I will try my best to do such, but I like to add details because this is my dream novel and I am writing this story as a novel and not just as a fanfiction. I want this story to breathe life and reach wider audiences, so my apologies for adding details, but I want this story to bring Shivika to life :)

Here is a rundown of what Chapter 21 is:

First part is pure flashback and is more based on the love Shivika had. Quick question: Do you think Shivaay was being honest in this flashback? I have left it up to readers to decide...

Second Part: This answers why Anika left her parents and why her parents do not know about her marriage!

Also, if you wish then you can follow me on Twitter on @JasmineDarcie where I give updates, do polls, and ask readers when they would like me to update next chapters. Also, I love getting feedback on Twitter as well :)

- I am not sure if my writing style has dropped over the past few chapters and that has created a disappointment. I am not sure what I am doing wrong and I guess it is the details. The thing is that I do detailed writings because I want this story to run as a novel and I do not want readers to get confused on why Anika or Shivaay take particular actions.

I promise you the story is going to pick up after the fashion show and that is why I am dedicating a lot of time to Shivika's thought process and flashbacks because they are in for a major twist in future chapters. There will be revelations to the family and there will be consequences for their secrets...I am sorry for putting everyone through a lot of details. I like to put details for the purpose of imagery and will refrain from it from now on as much as I could.

Thank you for reading :) I won't say much from now on in beginning of the notes because I will let the story talk for itself and if readers like this story then I am sure this story will pick up.

-Jasmine

P.S. Just added songs! :)

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https://youtu.be/EdhR-ry40So

My eyes followed the edges of the bandage on my hand as I ran my other hand over it flinching with pain. I sighed as I laid my head against the tree behind me dazing into the gray skies over me.

It was almost six in the evening and I had no desire to go home. No desire to see anyone or face them and their questioning looks. I know the moment I will step into the door tonight, my mom would bombard me with questions and suspicions about where I was last night. I just know it too well.

I just need a moment's peace to clear my mind from the negativity that has been placed upon today. Everything from the news to the moment Shivaay introduced chaos that not only left a gash on my palm, but also wounded a small belief I had formed about how he might just be changing.

You can never change Shivaay. Never. No matter what, I don't think you can ever change. I am a fool to believe you will because you can never let go of the selfishness and pure ego you hold within yourself. Never.

However, I haven't come to this realization about him so easily. I remember the day he fooled me into believing he had changed and I just remember how that day his revenge began.

Flashback:

My eyes shot up as I heard a loud thunder rumble outside of my apartment window. A flash suddenly appearing in front of my eyes as I covered them. I sighed as I felt my eyes burning and begging for relief, but only to be tortured once more by tears...tears that belonged to a misery called love that I had endowed up him. Shivaay.

It had been a month since the cocktail party where I blew up on Shivaay and burned our relationship up once I realized he was playing with my heart with an intention to break up with me. I cannot believe he stooped so low to take revenge from me due to a fight we had in public over the insurance claims on the car accident we were in. He blamed me for the loss of funding for his research project failing to realize he lost that money due to the level of rudeness he was speaking in to me in front of his client.

I laid my head against my bed as I bit my thumb trying to control my tears which I wished they would go away. My gaze wandering to the pile of pictures before me resembling a long lost love I had.

A rough breath slipped out of me as I stared at a picture of Shivaay hugging me tightly during New Year's right in the middle of Times Square. A dazzled look appearing right across my face as I was looking up at him as he looked straight into the camera. I remember the exact thought in my mind which is what good deeds did I do to get such a good man in my life? Wow, I was so wrong. So stupid. A fool who believed that a man like him, who has everything in his life including a good career, money, and fame, would desire me...because he never would considering he would have so many women lined up for him who come from rich and luxurious backgrounds, not a pauper background like mines'.

Why would a man fall in love with an ordinary girl like me? Hell I am not even ordinary. I am less than that. Money barely brushes through in my life nor I have the looks or the body to be a model or someone's dream girl. I can barely talk about sports or common gossips of the world. I cannot even play out a good, charming, extrovert image in social gatherings. I was never his type...never the type he would love. I was so stupid to believe that he actually loves me. So stupid.

I am glad I found out about his true colors and stopped myself from being fooled any longer. In fact, I should be proud of myself for showing his true colors in front of all his employees at the office party. Somewhere I do feel bad for throwing our dirty laundry out in public, but I believe he deserved it. He deserves it after hatching revenge against me due to the insult and loss of research money he had due to our public fight at the café over insurance claims on the car accident we were both in. I cannot believe someone would stoop so low due to loss of money and being insulted in public. I can never think of treating someone else in such manner. Never.

I sighed as I looked at the side of me and a pair of ripped pictures laying on the ground that I had ripped apart in rage of anger. It had been an exactly a month since that debacle at the office party where we had a very public break up. Since that day Shivaay has been calling me nonstop without any stop to it. To a point that I have blocked multiple numbers except that he continues to call from a new number each and every day. Not once I have picked his phone call and I do not intend to at all. It's over and I have no intention to turn back. I can never turn back considering how he took the initiative to toy with my heart and gamble it with intentions to strike it and break it apart along with my belief in love as well. Doesn't he have any humanity? Not an ounce? I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair as I crossed my arms and looked out the window.

A doorbell suddenly sounded as I shook up and looked out into the hallway outside of my room. I just know what it might be. Feeling a tinge of annoyance, I stepped over a large bouquet of flowers as I sighed and looked around noticed flowers everywhere in my tiny living room. Baskets and bouquets of red, white, and pink roses set everywhere in the room as "Sorry" cards made their way everywhere.

I forgot to mention that since a month, flowers and bouquets have been making their way to my door at least three times a day-all from Shivaay himself except that he has his employee deliver it since he knows how I cannot bear to see the sight of him.

I sighed as I made my way towards the door and opened it to see a large basket of red roses. I looked out of my door to see no one on either side of the hallways. Raising my eyebrow in confusion, I picked up the basket of red roses. Kicking the door shut, I found myself being charmed by the sweet fragrance of the fresh red roses. My eyes followed a red envelope snugged into the basket of roses. Grabbing the envelope, I quickly opened it to see the words against engraved in red italics: I am sorry. I shook my head in annoyance as I opened the card.

"Anika,

Please forgive me. For once give me a chance. I know I do not deserve your forgiveness considering what I have done to you. Words cannot describe how awful I feel for causing you so much pain. For testing your limits and testing the purity of your heart. I know I do not deserve you, but give me a chance. This past month has been painful and each passing day your memories are rushing past me and creating a desire in me to be with you. It should have been easy for me to let you go after all I was playing with your heart, but overtime I have realized how much the moments we spent together contributed to an unusual attraction I have developed for you. I want to say so much more to you in person, but I know you will not bear the sight of me.

-Shivaay"

A tear splattered on the black ink running along the card. I sighed as I placed the card against my chest and shook my head in the realization of how much I still loved him. How much that love I developed for him over the past few months still stood in its place not wanting to let go of me. I shouldn't love him for what he has done to me, but yet I still do.

I heard a knock on my door as I quickly looked back. Slightly confused on who it might be, I slowly walked to the door. My eyes widening as Shivaay was standing right in front of me. Standing tall and proud, wearing a leather jacket and a pair of blue jeans as he crossed his arms leaning against the doorway. His eyes bloodshot red as the smell of alcohol swarmed around him.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I exclaimed as I moved forward to shut my door. His hand grabbing on to the edge of the door as he held on to it tightly. I furrowed my eyebrows as I resisted and pushed the door against him only to have him slam it open. My arms flying up in the air as I stumbled back. Grabbing my waist, he pulled me tightly against his chest. His icy blue eyes meeting mines', glistening as if they had been on a long time search for moment's being.

For a moment's time, I found myself drowning myself in the closeness we carried. The rim of his nose lightly caressing the edges of my cheek as he blew a heavy breath intoxicated with alcohol against my ear. I had forgotten how much I missed him holding me so close for a moment's silence. I forgot how his arms provided an unusual sense of home that I hadn't found anywhere else. I forgot how much his mere presence brought calmness to the chaotic spirit I had.

https://youtu.be/sEfL4HnRDvY

"Listen to me once...just once Anika...please..." His voice rough yet touched with a peculiar air of calmness. I looked up once again at his eyes in an attempt to gain clarity on what his motive would be to stand on my doorstep at late evening. However, I couldn't see anything in the darkness of his eyes after all he has a talent in hiding his motives.

Somewhere I want to listen to him, however, my mind tells me not to because an instinct tells me that he would likely just fog up my thoughts and manipulate them. I cannot risk being manipulated. I cannot, yet, somewhere I wished he would manipulate me and I would be ok with being fooled for a moment even if it meant laying down a fake relationship because I enjoyed his presence and loved how he attempted to love me. It's wrong right? It looks wrong when I think about it, yet, somehow my heart tells me it's not wrong. However, Anika be strong and do not give into his smooth talks. Don't.

Placing my hands on the edges of his leather jacket, I pulled his face down towards me. A seductive smile playing on the edges of his lips as his eyes appeared to drop down to my lips. His breath lightly blowing over the dryness my lips carried. A shiver going down my spine. Do not give in Anika. Face him and do not give into the vulnerability of lust.

"Get out of my home. What pleasure do you seek today? Haven't you already found ounces of pleasure in the misery you have caused. Your revenge is done and over, so get out! Get out or I am calling the police!" Thunder rumbled ominously in the background as his eyes drifted to mines' revealing the utter amount of alcohol he had consumed to drown his thoughts and emotions. Alcohol somewhat making him lose his thoughts as he appeared to not comprehend my statement. His face showing some regret, but not completely as he had built a barrier to his emotions.

Without a second's touch, he let go of my waist, but only to place the palms of his hands against my cheeks placing his forehead lightly against mines'. Bringing us close for a moment than we ever had been before. The edges of breath running against my lips as I latched my eyes on to his. He slightly smiled as he brought his face an inch closer to mines'.

His voice coming out as an airy whisper, "Anika...I will go away...but listen to me for o-once...E-ever...since...since you ended it, I cannot stop thinking about you...Your presence is haunting me everywhere I go and it shouldn't...right?. Am I right?...But it is...I cannot think or focus on anything besides thinking about you, reminiscing over melancholic memories that we shared, and then the purity and innocence you held...I admit...I made a plan to take revenge from you...that was my sole intention, but...somewhere...somewhere I...I...I fell in love..." My eyes widened as my hands dropped cold. My heart pulsating and twisting and turning on its own mind that was controlled of sole emotions while my brain began to run like cold turkey. Thousands of questions erupting from edges of my brain as confusion and chaos bonded inside of me.

Love. A vulnerable feeling that makes one submit to all the atrocities of the world and run out of touch with reality with a companion that shares that feeling with them. Love. A feeling that is said anyone is capable of committing to, but only those who are vulnerable truly commit to it. Love. A confession only made once and only to one person.

This man who took each and every step to ruin me and initiate chaos in my heart in order to hammer it and break it...loves me? This man whose heart is cold that even the tinges of sunlight cannot melt it loves me...Fool. This man cannot love anyone. A man who takes revenge over small intangible moments that hurt his ego...loves me? Sham. It's a sham I will tell you.

A silence approached us as I shook my head as the strands of my hair ran across the stubble of his beard. A smile appearing on my face as I bit my lip in pure frustration and looked up at him. How the hell does he think I would believe him? How?

"Nice game...Uff...not falling for it ok? Not falling for it once ok? Get out and don't show me your face again. That would be the best for you and me." I shook my head as he laid his hands still against my cheeks. His palm lightly turning my head towards him as he pushed me to take him into sight.

"It's so wrong. It feels so wrong to love you despite how I felt about you before and how much I was bent upon taking revenge from you. How hard I worked to pull you towards me... yet...it feels right Anika. It feels right to love you...Somewhere my heart tells me it's right to love you because you make me want to be someone whom I have feared to be all these years. You make me want to be good. You make me want to forget the hunger for power I have and you make me so vulnerable...vulnerable to love...vulnerable to you...You have to understand that all my life I have only been taught to fight for power...fight for money...and fight for them no matter what come be. I haven't been raised to become a man who loves, but raised to become a man who only treasures power..." I felt a tear slip down my cheek as his eyes glistened. He appeared to clench his teeth to suppress himself from expressing senses of emotions, I could tell he was going through.

Somewhere, I felt he was telling the truth. Somewhere my heart wanted it to believe that he was telling the truth. However, my mind told me to not trust him...that all of it was a lie...a sham...after all he already played with my mind before then why not now?

I have always been the girl who has played it safe and has always been cautionary in taking risks, so why would today be different? Why would I put my heart on the line and be willing to risk it in the hands of a man who has only hurt me. Only broken me.

"Shivaay...don't make this harder than it should be. Don't. You cannot do this to me now. You already did so much...to hurt me...to play with me...Hasn't that been enough for you? Hm? Hasn't it?...So stop...stop trying to drown me in misery for your pleasure...because at end of the day, you will not be saved from this misery that I will go through. You will also be brought down with me...Your deeds will not spare you..."

He stood shaken cold as I wrapped my hands against his and slowly took them off of my cheeks which had run down with tears. In a moment he appeared to shut down as his arms dropped down resembling a loss he had undergone. He had lost his play so I thought.

"Then I will wait outside until you take me in...I will not give up so easily..." Running his hand through the tangles of his hair he dropped his hand down to a piece of paper he appeared to take out from his jacket.

"Thought you would need this..." Throwing the piece of paper on the coffee table he looked up at me.

"Your manuscript...on the research I funded...is getting published. Congrats I guess...You thought I would ruin your future by not allowing it to be published, but it got published...Don't think I am so bad as you make me to be..." He hissed as a change of expression emerged across his face. A sense of anger emerging as he appeared to be frustrated on the denial he had gotten.

"Waiting outside Anika...I mean it..." He hissed as a smile appeared across his lips as he walked out the door.

I raised my eyebrow in curiosity as I slammed the door shut locking it without any desire to open it again for him and allow him to walk into the destruction he himself had created. I sighed as I wiped my tears away from my cheeks and made my way down to my room to isolate myself once more.

Closing the door shut, I looked at the pile of photos still lying on the ground as I kneeled down and ran my hands through them, contemplating whether they were worth staying or should I suck the liveliness out of them and throw them away like trash just as Shivaay did to me.

"I loved you so much and this is how you treat me...perhaps...love is like this. Love can only be defined as an entity that is capable of only destroying ones' strength and making them vulnerable to the atrocities and foolishness of the world. Love only destroys..." I whispered as I ran my hand through a photo of Shivaay kissing my forehead with his eyes closed as a smile, mixed with foolishness, appeared across my lips. I am such a fool to believe he really loved me and only wanted me, desired me, and hoped for only me.

I walked up to the small window in my apartment as I looked at the rain that began to pour. Thunders rumbling as lightening flashed with rain beginning to pour harder as the skies cried. My eyes wandering down to the street where it stood still as a rush of sadness approached me. Shivaay stood there right outside of the parking lot with his arms crossed as he leaned against his car. My eyes widening as the rain continued to pour over him as he stood still not even trying to look for cover.

A sudden jolt of anger approached me. I don't know where it came from. Whether the anger was due to what he did to me or because of worry about he was sabotaging his health by standing outside in the rain. I don't know what it was, but I propped up the window and looked down at the first story where he stood outside in the parking lot.

"What the hell are you doing?! Get out of here and stop making a scene!" I yelled my voice echoing through the tumbling sounds of rain.

His head shooting up as he looked at me. An eerie smile appearing across his face as he shook his head and looked at me. "I told you that I will not leave until you take me back! I am not leaving until you decide to give me another chance! I want you Anika! I need you!"

My eyes widened at his loud proclamation that made itself known across the apartment complex as a few neighbors looked at both of as they quickly walked towards their apartments.

What are you doing Shivaay? Why are you making this so hard? How does he even think I will just forgive him?...But he has been working hard to earn your forgiveness. The flowers and the cards...perhaps he is regretful. My mind spoke as I felt torn between a set of emotions emerging inside of me. Pain, anger, and heartbreak following what he had done to me, yet, also a tinge of sadness and an emergence of love that still existed for him. I sighed as I shook my head trying to control myself as I looked at him.

"Wait then! Do whatever you want!" I screamed slamming the window shut as I crossed my arms looking through it. I felt childish in the moment. Well, I felt both of us were childish in the moment not budging on our determined minds and making a show in front of everyone. We both held pride and that was what was going to destroy us.

I shook my head as I threw myself on the bed as I attempted to mentally escape, but couldn't as all my thoughts rounded back to Shivaay. Hours passed and I laid still as I could only think of him. The moments we shared. The comfort he gave. The love I felt...Was it all really a lie? How can a man just play along and not feel anything?...Is he really speaking the truth outside or is it another lie?

But, Anika it feels so real.

It appears so real considering what he said. His words seem genuine. For some reason, I feel that he is telling the truth. He does love me.

I know it's so wrong to even think about giving him a second chance, but somewhere I want to. I want to give him a second chance. His love haunts me. My soul still aches to feel his touch, find comfort in his arms, and find love only by him. I have been told that one should never pursue a toxic relationship...it's wrong to give a man a chance who has wronged you, but I want to give that man a chance.

All my life, I have not felt wanted. My parents have worked hard to provide me a good education, but their affection is rare. In school, I rarely had friends. I was always the outcast with reasons unknown to me. For the first time, someone gave me attention, made me feel wanted, made me feel that I exist...I know he wronged me, but I still want him because he has been the first who appreciated me. I know his compliments and gestures might have been fake, but the way he stood outside of my door today and spoke his heart out...I feel that he might have just fallen in love with me in all the fascade he created. It's wrong to give him a chance, but I want to because he pumped life into my soul that has been miraged by the world. I want him back. I want him to endow love upon me that I have wanted for years.

Lifting my body up, I looked out the window realizing night had approached as darkness laid still outside with the moon in no sight. I walked more closely towards it with my heart beating fast as I wanted to see if he still was there...waiting for me. Clasping my hands against the window, I peaked through the window to see Shivaay sitting still on the ground against his car. His head seemingly drooping down as he appeared to warm himself in the cold rain that splashed upon him.

https://youtu.be/GD2_bkNgX5I

Run Anika. Run. A tear slipped down my cheek as I mustered up courage and dashed out the apartment door.

Quickly running down the stairwells, I dashed out the pair of wooden doors into the rain. The earth's teardrops beginning to pour upon me as I crossed my arms quickly running towards him.

Stopping in my tracks, I realized his eyes appeared half closed as he laid against the driver's side door of his car. He laid still as his sleek white shirt stuck tightly against his body with his leather jacket dripping wet and pulling him down. He appeared somewhat unconscious as the smell of alcohol continued to emerge from him.

"Shivaay! Shivaay!" I quickly kneeled down to him placing my hands against his cheeks as I brought his face up to me as my warm breath blew against his face. The warmth of his cheeks quickly heating up my hands as I realized he had a fever.

"Shivaay wake up!" I patted his cheeks trying to bring him to reality. His blue eyes dashing open as they appeared to glisten. A faint smile appearing across his face as he looked at me.

"I knew you would come..." He mumbled as he clearly was intoxicated to a point that his words made no sense.

I shook my head back and forth as I wrapped my arm around his waist and grabbed on to his hand tightly. He smiled pulling my hand as my face slammed against his chest. I growled in frustration as he gave a drunk chuckle and ran his fingers through the tangles of my hair. His face coming closely to mines'. His breaths matching mines'. The pulse of his hand beating against the side of my head. His gaze not moving anywhere else, but staying still on mines' telling me he is only mine.

"I have missed you so much. Missed us so much..." He whispered against my ear as I shivered under the sense of his touch.

"Just get up now ok? I cannot believe you would take such a drastic step!" I exclaimed as he tried to balance himself grabbing on to the side of the car as I used my strength to help him stabilize on his feet.

Wrapping his arm tightly around my shoulder he pulled me against his chest, laying his chin on top of my head as I shook my head in frustration and dug my fingers into his waist. His lips lightly brushing against the top of my head as he appeared to hold on to me tightly not wanting to let go of me ever again. Our bodies too close as the wet rain had slogged done the cloths on our bodies making them stick closely to one another. Indeed, the earth was in the play...initiating moments to bring us close.

"Stop playing and let's go," I demanded as he chuckled and began to stumble his way towards the entrance of the apartment.

"Only you can order me and I can listen," He mumbled as I grabbed open the wooden doors and made my way up towards the stairs.

We walked in silence as he appeared to lose reality and hum a tune as his eyes appeared droopy. Stumbling our way up the stairs and down the hallway, we finally made it to my apartment door.

Grabbing the door open, we made our way in as Shivaay wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. His touch initiating a set of goosebumps across my waist as it had been a long time since he had held me so close. I felt the back of my head brushing against the side of his face as I looked up towards him. A silhoutte of his face appearing amongst the bleak darkness of the living room as I felt the heat of his breath blowing against my forehead. It had been a long time since we stood so close and somehow I wanted him to stay close, right next to me.

"I missed you so much Anika. I want you back...Please take me back," He whispered creating another mix of confusion inside of me as I stood stumped not knowing what to say. I want him back, but is it worth the risk? He played with my heart and threw it up in the air without any concern for it, but then...why is it that I still want to believe him? Believe the fact that he is sorry and he may truly love me.

"You're not in your senses. Come inside," I mumbled as I realized the entire living room and sofa were covered with flowers given by him. I sighed as I looked at my room. Even though I didn't want to take him there, I have to considering there is no other place for him to lay down.

I shook my head back and forth as I pulled on to his arm and dragged him to my room. I heard a loud sneeze as he made his way into my room stumbling over a box of photos...photos of us. I so hope he doesn't notice them. It is integral he doesn't notice or else he will find out that I am still vulnerable to toxic effects of love that he left upon me.

"Just sit down here ok? Take off your jacket I guess." Quickly, grabbing my blanket I opened it as Shivaay threw off his leather jacket on to the bed.

I could have him told him to take his shirt off, but clearly that would give him the wrong ideas. Grabbing a portable heater, I placed it in front of him to help him warm up a little bit. Even though considering he has a fever, it is not a good idea to heat him up too much.

"I could take off my...s-shirt...but...I am...not...that type of guy," His voice slurring as I raised my eyebrow towards him trying not to project a hint of shyness I felt. Indeed, my cheeks warmed up as I saw his gaze stand still upon me.

"It's better you lay down ok?" I attempted to divert his thoughts as I quickly walked to the kitchen.

What are you doing Anika? How can you just easily take him in after what he has done to you? I shouldn't have taken him in, but then my heart is saying something else. My heart is telling me to give him a chance and give our love a chance. Our love? Does it exist? Perhaps, considering he may just be in love with me. A man can never lie under the influence of alcohol...so I think.

I dropped the thought as I filled a large bowl of cool water and ice and grabbed a couple of small towels. Quickly walking back to my room, I noticed him laying down on the bed with his eyes closed as he appeared to mumble.

A faint smile appeared on my face as I looked at a tinge of innocence present across his face. Seemingly, my eyes admiring his sharp features as they etched across his lush dark brown hair, closed smooth eyes, and his rose petaled lips. My pulse running sharply against my chest as my attraction for him remerged.

Sitting down on the bed, I dipped the towel in the cold water and squeezed it before placing it on his forehead. My hand running through the soft, waves of his hair as an odd tinge of goosebumps appeared inside of me. Despite what he had done, my attraction for him still found life.

His eyes slightly opening as he looked back towards me. An inch of silence present between us as we looked only towards one another not saying a word. However, I knew we both wanted to say a lot to one another. There was an inner chaos running inside of us...wanting us to speak and break the cold barriers existing between the both of us. I felt his hand wrapping slowly around mines' as he placed it on his chest. My palm stretching inwards as a sense of shyness approached me on being too close for comfort.

"Anika, what are you made of? After all that I have done to you..." He spoke softly as I sighed and tried to hold back tears as memories of a painful heartbreak returned once more.

"Don't. It's better we don't talk about it. I am helping you just on the basis of humanity and the fact that I am becoming a doctor to whose oath I am dedicated to..." I spoke as he sighed and squeezed my hand.

He bit his lip as he placed his eyes into mines' looking into them and searching for a lost love that had his name on it. "Then why does my heart keep telling me...that...you are...lying...That you feel the same love for me that I feel for you. I know I have hurt you, but believe me I have gone through a lot of pain since the last month...The moment...moment...I lost you...did I realize your worth...Realize what you mean to me...You are so different and that scared me...No girl has ever dared to challenge me or who I am, but you did...You gave me a new perspective on life...that life isn't about power and money...but about relationships...about caring for others before yourself...You make me want to be good...Something I haven't been for a long time...Please give me a chance and I will do my best to be good to you and give you the love you deserve..."

A sharred silence appeared as we sat still trying to soak in an unspeakable love that still existed between us. He took a deep breath waiting patiently for me to say something.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks as his words had broken down the final weak barriers I was holding on to. I wish he hadn't said those words because they unveiled the immense amount of love I still hold for him that are reflected in my tears. I wish he hadn't made me so vulnerable. Vulnerable to feelings and emotions of love that I now hold for him.

"You have hurt me so much. It's hard to come back to you because I feel that you will hurt me again. Break my heart all over again and this time it might not be repaired at all..."

He grabbed my hand pulling me closer towards him. My eyes latching on to his as they attempted to say a lot more than he could say.

"I won't do that again...Your heart is too precious and I want to hold it alone and I will do everything to not hurt it...Anika don't lie to yourself...I saw the pictures today in this room...I know you are not over me...I know you still love me. So, then love me. Be mine. You complete that part of my heart that has been hollow for years. I know I have hurt you, but now I will be the one to repair you and give you the happiness you deserve...Give me a chance..."

I bit my lip contemplating whether I should give him a chance. I want to give him a chance. I really do, but I am so scared that another heartbreak from him would bring a large downfall for me from which I may not recover.

"I am scared to give you a chance. I don't think I can..." I whispered as he took a breath of frustration.

"Don't lie to yourself Anika! I know you love me or else you wouldn't bring me from the rain and care for me! You wouldn't do that if you kept hate in your heart for me! Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me and I will go..." I looked up into his eyes and I knew I could not lie to them. I knew in an instant that I still loved him and that it was not over.

A smile appeared across his face as he ran his hand on the side of my cheek sucking in their warmth. Even though I didn't say a word...I knew he understood what I felt. Bringing his face closer to mine's, he held it close as his nose lightly brushed against mines'. His eyes laying still on mines' as the only sound present was that of rain.

"You hurt me so much Shivaay...It's hard giving you chance...I want to, but...I am scared..." I whispered as he sighed and bit his lip before running his hand through the back of my hair.

"Don't be scared...This love I have for you will never you hurt you again...Love me once and I will love you for eternity..." He whispered as I sighed laying my head against his forehead as a faint smile appeared on his face.

His eyes falling on to my lips as he keenly observed them wanting to touch them. My eyes falling on to his lips as I realized how close I wanted him to be. Without a second thought I wrapped my hand on the back of his neck running my hand through his hair. Closing the gap between us, he laid his lips softly against mines' as he drowned me in the intoxication of my love for him. Not letting go, I pushed my lips softly against his after what felt like an eternity. Sucking on to the soft alcohol taste on his lips, I attempted to repair the wounds he had given. He too attempted to lay trust he had lost by making his way slowly on to my lips running his hand through my hair.

Entwining his hand in mines' he let go of my lips as he opened his eyes looking into mines' awaiting for me to say something. Something to give him assurance that I would take him back. In that moment, that kiss signaled to me that perhaps he did still hold true and real feelings for me. That perhaps he did have regrets and he indeed loved me. I realized that I too needed him and that I wanted him. I realized I too was incomplete without him and that no matter how much he hurt me, only he could repair the wounds he had given to me. That I only wanted him to repair the wounds he had given. At that moment I realized I only wanted him and that he meant the world to me....that leaving him was wrong and only in him would I find love.

"Only one chance...just...one chance..." I whispered against his lips as he smiled pulling me into another kiss expressing a repressed love he had for me in an instant

Flashback Ends

https://youtu.be/sEfL4HnRDvY

That chance that I gave him brought my downfall. If only I hadn't given in to pleasures of the heart and my need to be loved by others, would things may have been different. I wouldn't have drowned myself in such agony and pain that was given as a result of taking him back, marrying him, and then ultimately being thrown away like trash from him.

Wow, I had been thinking about that entire moment for an hour after I decided to get in my car and go home ready to face my parents. I sighed as I looked up at the front door of my home ready to face the initiation of chaos that was about to begin. For now it was silence, but I knew the next minutes chaos would follow.

I took a deep breath as I fumbled with my house key and unlocked the door as I made my way inside. Hearing the sound of the TV, I walked slowly to the living room knowing my parents would be sitting there.

As I made my way to the living room, I looked up at my parents who were sitting still on the sofa with their eyes set on the TV. Why the eerie silence? I looked up slowly towards the TV as my eyes widened.

"Was this woman the mystery girl with whom Shivaay Singh Oberoi was spotted with last night? Indeed, Shivaay was seen holding hands with this woman today at his hospital branch in Palo Alto, California..." The reporter's voice began to lower and flash out of my ears as my mind began to twirl upon seeing multiple pictures of Shivaay and I today at the hospital.

Pictures of him holding my hand as we sat close to one another on the wooden bench of the hospital lawn. A video showing him holding my arm as we quickly made our way through the cameras. Large words in pink exclaiming "Shivaay's new girl!" as they made their way across the top corner of the TV.

My mouth going dry as I felt my hands beginning to tremble as photos from last night aligned with those of ours' today. My face not prevalent in any of the pictures from last night, but clearly my face was everywhere from today. Oh my God. My parents are going to break hell loose.

My eyes slowly turned towards my parents as they soaked themselves in anger. Anger over the loss of integrity and malignment our family was about to face. I gulped nervously as I leaned back holding on to the wall as my mom got up.

"What the hell is this?! What I this Anika?!" She began to scream as she stomped her way towards me grabbing my shoulders and slamming me against the wall. I took a deep breath as I began to tremble at the sound of her voice. Anger dashing across her face as her eyes pumped venom.

"I-It's a lie mom! Really! T-There is....n-nothing...g-going on...Shivaay...um...Mr.Oberoi is just my boss that is all mom...." My voice trembling as Papa made his way towards us pulling my mom back as she released her tightened grip from my shoulders.

"Stop it! Anika is a grown woman!" Papa exclaimed as mom threw his hand off her shoulder turning towards him.

"I do not care! Anika do you even know what has happened! Pictures of you and Shivaay have gone viral everywhere on social media! They are linking you to the woman who was with him last night. So, tell me now...were you with him last night?! You did lie to me huh! You did right!" Her screams deafening my ear as I clasped my hands on my ears trying to calm myself down as fear touched each and every corner of my body. I always had a fear of my mom. She was that woman who believed in traditions and integrity and if any of them were breached then she would come out as a brutal beast.

Her words clearly snaked across my mind, choking it and not allowing me to think clearly. Of course mom I was with him last night, but how can I just tell you that knowing how you would react. You would destroy me if you find out. Most importantly, Papa would be heartbroken knowing I had destroyed his integrity last night. I don't want to lie, but I have to to save myself and to save them from being heartbroken.

"N-No...I was on call Ma and Papa. Ok?...Please believe me...This media is just talking nonsense! Shivaay is only my boss and that is all! I am sure his statement he gave today to the media was shown!" I argued as I pointed to the TV.

"What about the fact he held your hand and arm?!" Papa intervened as Mom began to take deep breaths trying to calm herself down as I could tell her blood pressure was shooting up.

I stood dumbfounded as I looked at the pictures of him and I looking into each other's eyes as he held my hand or the one how I seemingly looked up at him dazed as he held my arm as we made our way to escape the photographers. There is no lie that if I looked at those pictures of someone else, I too would think they were a couple, but of course, that is not the case.

"Shivaay and I were discussing about a fashion show...we have...honestly he held my hand because...um...I wasn't feeling well. Yeah...not feeling well...Also, he held my arm because...my anxiety was getting to me and I was lost amongst the reporters..." I fumbled my words as I took a step away from mom afraid she was going to do something to me as she fumed with anger.

"Just admit it Anika! You are having an affair with him!" Mom exclaimed. My eyes widening at her blunt statement that she made across to me.

Affair? Shivaay and I? How in the world can she think that? Well...Anika...she can think that. The pictures are portraying that sort of image to everyone. God, everything is about to fall apart Anika. If Mom and Papa find out what relationship you shared with Shivaay in the past...oh my God...I cannot even think how they would react...But, they may just find out...The news is linking both of us together and I am sure the media will find out one day and that would be it. Our secret is so close to being revealed and it might just be revealed...

"No. I am not. Ok? He is no one to me and that is it Mom and Papa. I...I share nothing with him besides professionalism...Ok?...Please just believe me..." I whispered as I lowered my eyes trying to avoid their gaze because I know how good they are at reading others and finding out if one is telling the truth or not.

"Don't do that again Anika. You have already hurt us so much and you know what I am talking about..."Papa said as I sighed with tears beginning to fall down my cheeks as I remembered just what he was talking about...the incident that happened years ago...My one action giving them agony and pain for two years as being their only child, I abandoned them. Abandoned them for my own selfish reasons and utter foolishness.

"You left us. You left us for that random boy who we do not know who it was till this day...You ruined our integrity in front of the entire family by running away after we fixed your alliance. Then you didn't call us for two years until that boy broke your heart..." Mom whispered as tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Her words stinging an old wound of mines' as the pain, that I felt after abandoning them years ago appeared once more, choking my tears as I took deep breaths trying to calm down the rush of pain and agony that was making its way towards me. Pain from the realization of what I had done to my own parents and how I had seemingly ruined them and their integrity in front of the entire family. I will never forget what I had done. How I became selfish and so tied in with love that I abandoned my own parents.

"Mom...I would...not do that again to you both...I am sorry for what I did in the past. I was a fool. And I got what I deserved already...Pain and agony that can never be repaired...Please trust me...Shivaay and I are not having an affair...There are just rumors..." I whispered as I wiped my tears as I sighed laying my head against the wall, ready to give up any moment.

"Good because if there is then tell us already. We already were considering you both together..." Papa said as my eyes widened at his statement.

Considering both of us? What do they mean? An alliance...what? No. No. No. Shivaay and I getting married is something that can never happen again. It's impossible. It's not possible to walk through that toxicity again. No. My parents should never think of this.

"Please don't. Him and I are worlds apart and we can never fill in those gaps. He is toxic...He can only destroy me..." I whispered as they looked at me curiously trying to comprehend why I made the comment. They don't know what I have went through with him as his wife and it's best they never know and they never think about both of us.

"I am going upstairs. I am tired and please don't call me for dinner," I noted as I wiped my tears making my way up the stairs.