Copyright © jasminedarcie

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Shivaay's Point of View

I slammed the door shut behind me as I sighed and placed my head against it and stared into my empty, dark bedroom.

I shouldn't be feeling this way. Not for her at the least. Anika is my past and I should not try to go back and touch that past. I can't let it get to me. Then why am I feeling this way around her? Why does she make me feel uncontrollable? I slammed my fist against the door as I took a deep breath.

I just have to ignore her and try to not to come too close to her. And obviously avoid that nonsense dadi is making up in her mind about Anika and me. I took a deep breath as I walked to my closet and opened a locked drawer. I sighed as I took out a blue box and opened it with a ring sitting in it. It was a white solitaire surrounded by little diamonds that wrapped around it and spread around the band. I looked at the inside of the ring that read "Anika". I still don't know if what we had was truly not real? I lied to her and lied about my feelings, but was it really not real for me? How is it that everything was a lie? Why do I feel that there was more to it? That I actually truly had feelings....I stopped the thought as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I slammed the box shut and placed it in the drawer promising myself to never look at it.

*****

Anika's Point of View

"Oh My God, you look so beautiful Priyanka," I said as she smiled and fixed up her curls around her loose bun. She smiled as she flaunted her light purple lehenga that was heavily embroidered.

"Thank you. This looks really nice," She said as she twirled in her lehenga. I grabbed a small mark of my eyeliner and placed it behind her ear as she smiled and hugged me tightly.

"You know Anika, everyone deserves a friend like you. You really are nice. You supported me throughout this day. It means a lot. I truly wish that the way I found a life partner like Akash, you too will find someone who loves you a lot," Priyanka said as I smiled.

"Waise, dadi's idea is not bad. You and Shivaay bhaiyya make a nice pair," Priyanka said as I rolled my eyes and slapped her shoulder as she laughed.

"But seriously, Shivaay bhaiyya should have a life partner like you. His life was ruined due to that Tia. I shouldn't say this since she passed away, but honestly she never cared for him and it broke him when she cheated on him. She never got along with anyone in the family either. I don't think she was ever his type. In fact, I feel like bhaiyya was never happy with her. He was always lost in his own thoughts. I think if he gets married to someone who is nice, caring and polite would do him well. Which may be you," She said as I sighed and turned around. I felt tears filling up in my eyes as I attempted to look for "something" in my purse. Well, he did have me, but he didn't want me. I thought. I remember how once I loved him so much that I could give up the world and everything I had for him, but that was never enough for him. He wanted more...more came from Tia. He was always full of himself and selfish. He always thought about himself first rather than both of us. Why did I ever meet him? Why did this happen to me? For some reason I always feel that this world is against me. Why is it that I am always the one who gets left alone? Why? I wiped away my tears and looked towards Priyanka and weakly smiled.

"Anyways, Priyanka, we are getting late. Akash and his family is here, so come let's go," I said.

"Yes, Priyanka, let's go. It's almost time for the engagement and then we also have rituals to perform," Pinky aunty said as she walked in. She smiled as she looked at Priyanka.

"Wow, you look so beautiful. I have been waiting for this day since forever," Pinky aunty said as Priyanka smiled and hugged her tightly.

"So, how about we get going ok," Pinky aunty said as we walked out of the room and down the stairs. The house was beautifully decorated with flowers parading the walls and staircases and chandliers and lights brightened the house. We made our way out to the backyard which was magnificently decorated.

I stared at the opulence as the backyard was greatly expansive and went on and on for many square feet. A beautiful large canopy surrounded the entire lot as the large pillars were wrapped with flowers and curtains that flew with the light wind. I noticed lights and candles everywhere on large round tables that welcomed the entrance with rose petals laid everywhere on the ground. A large flower wall made of pink, red, yellow, and white roses was set right behind the large stage where a large sofa waited where Priyanka would sit with Akash.

I felt flowers fall on us as I smiled and looked at Priyanka as rose petals fell on us. We walked down the path and up to stage where Priyanka stood right in front of Akash. I noticed Shivaay standing right next to Akash as he looked directly at me. He had changed into a black suit and a black shirt that clinged tightly to his body. He stared directly at me with a shameless look as I threw him a glare. He still didn't look away as he kept on staring at me as if he was looking deep into my soul as his eyes consistently pierced into mines. I sighed as I looked away.

I watched Priyanka laughing as she held her hand in Akash's as he complimented her and whispered her sweet nothings. I smiled as I looked at them. They truly look like they're in love. I felt myself look back at Shivaay as he looked at me. I flashbacked to all the love that once we had for each other or I thought we did. What went wrong?

"Anika beta, here hold this ring and give it to Priyanka ok?" Pinky aunty said as I smiled and took a tray decorated in red rose petals on which the engagement ring laid. Shivaay took the other tray as we looked back at Priyanka and Akash.

Priyanka took the ring and placed it in Akash's hand as Akash placed the ring in Priyanka's. I smiled as I took the rose petals and threw it on them. I felt a petal hit me as I looked up as I noticed Shivaay throwing petals at me. I threw him a glare as he smirked and continued with his nuisance. I clenched my teeth as I threw a pair of petals directly at his face. He threw me a glare as I replied with the same expression.

Priyanka and Akash sat down on the sofa and other engagement rituals began. I quickly walked down the stairs as Shivaay followed me.

"What was that?" I asked as I turned and looked at Shivaay as we walked away towards the tables.

"Nothing....you look very hot today, so I thought why not appreciate it," He said as my eyes widened as he smirked and looked at me. His eyes were red and his tie was loosened. Why do I feel he is drunk? I moved a little bit closer to him as I smelled him and yes he was drunk.

"Wow, you're drunk at your sister's engagement!" I exclaimed as he rolled his eyes

and placed his hands in his pocket.

"Oh come on Anika it's my sister's engagement and so what I had a few shots? By the way why would I explain myself to you? You're not my wife," He said as I looked up at him. I felt anger building up inside of me as I turned my hands into fists.

"Wait, you both! Take a picture with the couple!" Dadi said smiling as we looked back at her. I began to walk up until my heel slid on the pair of stairs.

Suddenly, I felt a cold hand grasp on to mines as I looked up and saw Shivaay holding my hand tightly. In that moment I felt everything had stopped. He held my hand tightly as if he didn't want to let it go as he looked directly into my eyes. I felt charmed as I couldn't move my gaze away from his. My hand warmed up at his touch as my cheeks began to feel hot. He suddenly pulled me hard up the stage as I caught on to his arm before falling down. I noticed his gaze directly at me as I looked away and stared at the floor. My hand gripped tightly on to his arm as I looked up at him. For some reason everything felt right at that moment. I felt that sense of spark that existed between us before everything fell apart. Before we fell apart. I cut the thought as I looked back at the couple and let go of Shivaay's arm as I walked up to them.

I stood behind the sofa as I noticed Shivaay walking right up to me. What is he doing? I thought as he smirked and stood right next to me. I looked at him as he smirked and looked at the camera. I felt a warm sensation on my back as I looked back and saw Shivaay's hand right on my lower back. I looked up at him as I threw him a glare as he smirked and digged his fingers into my back.

"Come on, we don't want a commotion right?" He said as I looked at him. Well, of course, I didn't want to create a scene since it's Priyanka's engagement, but seriously what the hell is Shivaay's problem today?

"Let go of me. You are really drunk and out of your senses," I said as his smirk widened.

"Waise, we still make a nice couple right?" He said as I pinched my tongue and weakly smiled as the photographer threw a flash at us with his camera.

"But, we are not," I said sternly as he let go of my back and I put my head up and walked down the stage as I felt his footsteps follow mines'. I quickly walked behind the stage as I had a feeling Shivaay was about to create a scene. He always does when he is drunk and of course today was no exception. I knew he was following me and if he wanted to create a scene it should be out of the public eye as much as possible.

"But, I know you want it. You want all of this. I see it in your eyes and that expression on your face about how much you want this! You want this type of engagement! You want that type of love that you see that everybody has, but you don't! Don't fool me!" Shivaay exclaimed as I took a deep breath and held on to my black clutch as I looked back at him and took a deep breath.

"Why would I want this Shivaay? Why the hell would I want to commit myself to someone else? I committed myself once to a person in my lifetime and...that...was you," I whispered as Shivaay looked up at me. His eyes red with darkness as his face brittled and changed colors to red as he clenched his fists.

"Well, looks like you are not over me. You are not over us," He hissed as I felt my legs weaken and my head spin as the truth hit me hard. I felt my heart ache and my breathing get deeper as I realized how right he was. I obviously was not over our relationship. I was not over the fact that we were not together anymore. For some reason I just cannot get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try. For some reason I just cannot curse him out of my mind. I closed my eyes as I opened them and looked at him

"Please, not today Shivaay. You said it yourself that we have to keep everything a secret and now you are not doing that. You are out of your senses for God's sake!" I whispered as loudly as I possibly could as he pressed his fingers on his temples.

"Well you are driving me crazy!" Shivaay said as he suddenly pulled my shoulder and pulled me tightly against him. He breathed that heavy scent of alcohol as I felt his gaze drop down to my lips as my hands fell flat on his chest. I felt his chest running up and down against my hands as he brought his face closer to mines'.

"Shivaay, stop it," I whispered as I felt him bringing his face closer as I felt my heart pound as I felt my legs shaking.

I suddenly heard a loud cough as I looked up as my eyes widened. With all my force I pushed Shivaay away as Shivaay stumbled back. He was about to pounce back at me before he stopped and turned around.

"Hi Anika and Shivaay. Is everything alright?" Shakti uncle asked as he walked up to us with his eyebrow raised as Shivaay stood right ahead of me. I weakly smiled and looked at him.

"Um...yes. We were..uh..discussing something about the hospital," I said as I stumbled on my words.

"Oh right, you also are at the same residency program as Priyanka. That's great! You know when I used to visit Priyanka in Pennsylvania and saw both of your guys' bonding, I knew it was going to stay for a longtime since Priyanka never had any best friends. But, yes, thank you for supporting her back in medical school. Anyways, I needed to talk to you both because I want to plan a really nice wedding surprise for Priyanka and since both of you are close to her, I want you both to help in planning the surprise," Shakti uncle said as I raised my eyebrow and looked back at Shivaay.

"Please, can you both help me? I am busy all the time with handling the hospitals on the east coast that I don't get enough time for these type of things, so can I trust you both? For Priyanka?" Uncle said as I sighed and looked at Shivaay. He rolled his eyes and looked at uncle.

"Whatever," He said. I guess I can do this much for Priyanka since she is my best friend and it is a big day for her.

"Great thank you so much," Uncle said as he walked away and I looked at Shivaay as he rolled his eyes and walked away.

I stared out to the line of dark trees as I felt tears falling down my eyes. I tried to process my thoughts as I wiped my tears and attempted to stop them. Be brave Anika. Don't lose it. Just be brave and try to control yourself. Be brave. I stood there for a good thirty minutes as I tried to not lose it and keep calm. After calming down a bit, I crossed my arms as I walked back up front to the party and looked for my parents in the massive crowed of guests. I glossed my eyes around until they landed on a group of familiar faces. My mouth widened and so did my eyes as I noticed Shivaay standing with that familiar group that changed everything. There they were laughing their heads off as if nothing happened.

Flashback:

I stared at the binder paper in front of me in shock as the insurance agent provided me an estimate of how high my insurance bill would increase if Professor Shivaay Singh Oberoi wins the claim after that car accident. I had been on the phone with the insurance company for an hour as I had argued my case of how the accident was not my fault, but Professor Oberoi's, but somehow my insurance agent was more convinced that the accident was my fault. I was surprised because only yesterday he was agreeing with me and fighting for my case. I sighed as I realized I had to handle this myself and talk to Professor Oberoi.

I quickly placed the paper in my bag and rushed into the medical building as I realized it was Professor Oberoi's office hours now and it would be a perfect time to request him to admit his mistake. I quickly hurried up to his office and realized nobody was inside. I noticed a note on the door which said he had a meeting to attend downstairs at the café and would be back soon. Maybe I should go to the café and just meet him and question him after he's done with his meeting. Yes, that would be right. I thought as I walked down to the café. The cafe was crowded with sleep-deprived students, coffee-addicted professors and staff running around and serving customers. I looked around for Professor Oberoi and noticed him sitting in the corner with a group of men as they were discussing something privately and intensely. I quickly grabbed a seat nearby and sat down. I stared at my watch as I waited for an hour until finally about two men left from the group as they shook hands with Professor Oberoi and left. I took a breath of relief from all the wait and quickly went up to him.

"Professor Oberoi," I called as he looked back at me from gathering his stuff.

"Yes,"He asked sternly. He kept a stone expression and I knew why. Ever since he saw me in his class he truly has been treating me like dirt as he often called me out on questions, never answered my own questions and graded me more harshly than any of my classmates. I knew he was out to get me since he mentally blamed me for the car accident. We had been going back and forth at each other regarding the accident since a week through our insurance agents since both of us were arguing it was not our mistake, but the other's.

"I need to talk to you alone," I said as I eyed the men besides him as he looked back at them and then me.

"No, you can say what you want here," He said as I sighed and took out the piece of paper on which I had written down the estimated cost of my car insurance per month if the claim went ahead and supported Professor Oberoi.

"Look, I want to apologize regarding how I behaved that day after the accident, but I also want to note that it is not my fault Professor Oberoi. Honestly, I just got an estimate of what my bill may be if the claim goes forward and supports you and this is a massive cost. If possible, please do reconsider your argument regarding the fact that the accident was my fault," I said. I noticed his eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms and looked at me.

"It was not my fault! You know it as well that it was your fault, so stop blaming me. Also, regarding this bill. Well, I am not shocked. Look at you. The way you walk, you talk, what you wear...it all shows what class you are from," He said as my mouth gaped open as I felt my heart pounding as I turned my hands into fists. How dare he say that? Who gave him the right to say that? Moreover, as a professor how can he say such a thing?

"Mind you, Professor Oberoi, but you yourself are not following the boundaries of your profession as you cannot disrespect your student in such a manner," I replied as he glared at me.

"Oh really? Well, it's not class time and our discussion does not involve our professional status, so I can do and say whatever I want," He replied as I crossed my arms.

"Well, I don't think it suits you. Considering your professional background and your status as a businessman it doesn't suit you," I replied.

"Now, you will teach me how to talk and behave? Look at yourself and look at your class. The moment I saw you I knew what type of girl you were. In fact, that cheap car showed me what kind of class you belong to. I know you are doing all of this fighting and nonsense because you want to win big money from my insurance since you are probably a gold digger!" Professor Oberoi exclaimed. I suddenly felt the café quiet down and realized eyes were on us. I heard murmers and a group of my classmates snickering as they looked at me. My body was pumping with adrenaline, my eyes were blurring with tears as I felt my throat constrict as I felt no voice coming out of it. I gathered all the courage I had as I looked up at him.

"How dare you raise your finger at my character and my class?! I know how you rich people are. You always think you own everything, own everyone and everything should go your way and I am not surprised by your behavior, but let me tell you that you have to learn how to own up to your mistakes. You're not a kid anymore. In fact, actually, I think you may be considering your tantrums and nonsense," I replied and suddenly I stopped. Where did that come from? When did I start talking back to the professor? I never behave this way, but why is it that I am acting like this now?

I heard the men behind Professor Oberoi snickering as they looked at him as he threw them a glare.

"Professor Oberoi, we didn't expect this from you," I heard a voice say as I turned around and looked at the two men who had left after their meeting with Professor Oberoi. Professor Oberoi's eyes widened as he looked at them.

"Look, it's not like what you think it is," He said as he walked up to them.

"Of course it is Professor! We had decided to provide you this grant on researching workplace discrimination for underserved communities considering that you truly believed in this cause and had manners and true respect for working class communities and the underserved. However, the way you have behaved with this young lady is unacceptable and we will not have any of it," The man said in a decisive voice.

Professor Oberoi went up to him to convince him before he raised his hand and walked away. That moment I knew I had terribly outdone it as I knew I was Professor Oberoi's target. I noticed him turn on his feet as he looked at me and threw me a glare. He took a frustrated sigh and walked out.

Flashback ends:

It was that same group of guys that were at the café that day that now stood clinking their champagne glasses with Shivaay. At that moment something happened to me. I felt my mind blur as my feet began moving towards them. How could they just be laughing and having a good time while all of them ruined my life? How could they just be so happy and satisfied in their lives while ruining mines'. I don't even know how to love myself because of what they did. I don't know how to look at myself in the mirror without criticizing myself and how I look because of them. They ruined everything for me. I took a deep breath as I walked towards them. For some reason I was in a mood to give them a piece of my mind.

"Wow, you all showed up," I said bluntly as I realized the group turning around and looking at me as Shivaay threw me a glare and took a sip of his champagne. I noticed a smirk....a stupid smirk on their faces as a way to signal my defeat and their victory. As a way to downgrade me.

"Who is she?" A girl remarked as she held on to Atul's arm. He of course was Shivaay's right hand man and the ultimate instigator. I threw her a glare before smiling and showing her my vampire tooth.

"You don't want to know darling...but if you're so interested, do ask Shivaay," I remarked as Shivaay looked back at me with the look that "don't you dare".

"Why are you here?" Hemant said, the other side kick of Shivaay's, as he looked at me.

"Well, I was invited by Priyanka because you know we are actually best friends. Now don't have thoughts in your mind that I am back with this friend of yours'," I said pointing at Shivaay as they looked back at them.

"Well, why would Shivaay want to be back with you?" Ayush said as he smirked.

I felt anger. Pure, dark anger that ran through my hands, my arms, my neck, my face and every inch of my body. I put my feet stiffly on the ground.

"You know why I approached you all?...Because I wanted to let you know that you all couldn't defeat me because of a stupid bet! A bet that ruined me and my life because of your guys' nonsense! I am alive, I have achieved and I don't need your friend to make me feel happy!" I exclaimed as I felt nearby guests staring at us.

I looked at Shivaay as he stared at me with his eyes wide open like deer lights and his hand tightly holding on to the glass of champagne. I suddenly realized I had screwed up in the moment. I felt eyes on me as some people nearby whispered. My body unraveled from the anger as it began to feel limp and full of air-empty air that made me feel suffocated.

I noticed Shivaay walking up to me as I walked back. He followed me as I walked back on my steps until I hit something hard which was the pillar. Great I have nowhere to escape. I stared down on the ground at the rose petals as a way to zone myself out of the mess that I created.

Suddenly I heard a loud crash as I placed my hands on my ears and looked up as Shivaay had thrown the glass on the ground. Suddenly I felt him grab my hand as he pulled me close to him. I looked around and tried to take my surroundings in as I felt Shivaay lean his face down as I heaved. He leaned his face close as I leaned my face away from him and tried to look away. My eyes followed the small group of guests staring at us. I realized we were a little bit far from the stage and in the back where not a lot of guests were. In fact, in the front there was loud music and all of Shivaay's family was busy in the engagement rituals.

I felt Shivaay near his lips against my ear as I shivered and half-closed my eyes as I stared at the broken pieces of glass on the floor that reflected our reflections on it. A reflection of our broken relationship.

"Shut up. You don't know what you just have done. Do you realize where we are? How dare you disrespect my friends? How could you?" He hissed as my eyes widened as I looked back at him.

"Friends?! They are your friends! How could you possibly say that? Do you know what they have done?"I exclaimed as he placed his finger on my lip. I felt my lips tremble at his touch.

"Stop. Stop this nonsense and go! Just go!" Shivaay exclaimed.

"What?! I should go? Really? Not these men who ruined us?!" I exclaimed.

"There was no us! It was a bet!" Shivaay exclaimed as he shook my shoulder hard to push the reality in my head. I felt limp. The words pierced me as I realized how true they were, but how I didn't want to hear those words because of a virtual reality I had in my mind. A reality that pushed me to believe that there was still hope that I would meet Shivaay some day and we would be together again and happy. I felt tears rush down my eyes as I felt my dupatta edge down my left shoulder as I pulled it up in anger and walked away.

******

I stared at my parents laughing loudly as they conversed with another couple as I sat at the table with them and played with my food in my plate. It had been about two hours since I created that scene with Shivaay and his so-called "friends". Ma was her usual happy self as she gossiped on and on while dad was loud and laughed while talking about cricket. I stared at Priyanka as she happily danced with Akash on the dance floor. I smiled weakly as I looked at them happily dancing. I took a sip of my water and stared at the food in my plate which was not making me hungry as I felt my stomach knot and my throat suffocate me and not willing to consume food.

"Beta, please eat some food. I am sure you didn't eat a lot today," Mom said as she looked at me with concern. I shook my head as I tried to eat butter chicken, which was actually my favorite, but somehow not consumable.

"Waise, you know Mrs. Pinky Oberoi?" Mom said as I looked up at her curiously as I tried to chew down the chicken.

"Um...yes, she is Priyanka's mom," I said.

"And Shivaay's," Mom said as I dropped my fork on my plate as I heard his name. I looked up at her curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked as she smiled.

"Nothing, she and her husband met us. She was quite interested in knowing more about you," Mom continued with that exact tone she makes when she is about to tell me about a proposal. I cut her off as I took a sip of my water and slammed it on the table.

"Mom please not today and not ever. I don't want to get married and that's all. Especially, not to Shivaay," I said sternly.

"Oh come on Anika! Do you know how well settled Shivaay is? He has everything that will leave any woman satisfied! He has money, he has a well established career and actually good looking. A really good combination and you want to reject it? Just consider it at least" Mom pushed as Papa placed his hand on hers' as a way to signal her to not push the envelope. I rolled my eyes.

"Mom stop it please! Stop talking this utter nonsense," I announced as she looked at me shocked.

"Tell me, is there a man in your life? Huh? Look I told you our family does not believe in these love marriages," Ma announced snootly as I cursed my life under my tongue. Why is this night getting worse and worse? I thought as I got out of my seat and was about to walk out until dadi appeared right in front of me as she smiled.

"Look Anika, I think you should consider it. Priyanka knows you well and told us all about you. I think you would be perfect for him," Dadi said as my eyes widened. What is going on? When did all of this happen?

"I am sorry, but he is my boss and that's the only relationship we can have. Sorry again," I said and I walked away before letting anyone speak. I walked fast in fact I felt as if I was walking on a never-ending path as I walked.

I heard mom calling for me, but I was in no mood to look back at her. I was not in a mood to listen to any of this nonsense. God, marrying Shivaay? Seriously....I don't even want to think about it. Not ever. I thought as I took a deep breath and walked away from the party scene and the large crowd of guests.

Today was too much for me. Too much for anyone. I sighed as I walked up to a pillar right on the corner of the house where I laid my body against it and took a deep breath. I felt it getting harder to breath as I felt my throat constricting. My arms weakened as I felt the floor moving as I felt myself sweating profusely. I felt my anxiety coming back. God, I thought I was finally done with this disease. It's been months since I had this feeling of anxiousness that never seemed to end. It had exacerbated after Shivaay left me and for some reason therapy worked and I thought it was done and over with. Except, I was wrong. This never ends. I thought as I sighed and took deep breaths and focused on a thought: "I can" which I repeated over and over in my head. I felt my body shake and tremble as I held on to the pillar.

What is going on? How can everybody think that Shivaay and I can get married? It just cannot happen. I tried to breath as I placed my hand on my stomach.

I heard a pair of footsteps as I looked up and noticed a tall figure walking towards the tall railing fence that lined the lot further down from me and looked back to an open field that moved down to a hill. I felt the wind blow in my face as I felt the locks of my pony tail touching my face. He looked like Shivaay. I thought as he held a bottle of wine in his hand.

For some reason, I felt the need to approach him. Approach him and yell at him for the way he had treated me today alone and in front of everyone. Yell at him for everything he did and for some reason I did approach him. I stomped my feet moving on the hilly grass as my heel slumped into the grass as I struggled and walked up to him. I pulled my dupatta up to my neck until it began slipping down as I walked up to him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he turned around and revealed his face. The moonlight fell on his face and revealed it. It indeed was Shivaay. He sighed and looked at me as he rolled his eyes and turned his face away. I felt the wind pick up as the pair of my hair locks flew onto my face and I tried to tuck it away.

He took a large sip from the bottle and looked ahead to the darkness of the sky.

"I could ask you the same," He said as I looked at him.

"Actually this question applies more to you because your sister is getting engaged and you are supposed to be there for her since you're her oldest brother and look at you! You are here getting drunk," I said as he slammed the bottle down and looked at me with just plain darkness in his eyes.

"Now you will teach me how to fulfill my duties as a brother! How to fulfill relationships huh!" He yelled as he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him as I tried to get out of his grip.

"Well obviously! Since when did you know how to fulfill relationships right?!" I exclaimed as he threw me a glare and squeezed my arm tightly as I yelped.

"Just shut up Anika please! Leave me alone!" He exclaimed as he pushed me away. I felt myself hit hard against the railing as he slammed it. I felt an aura of darkness surrounding him that I hadn't seen before at all. Something was wrong with him. I held the railing and looked at him downing his bottle of wine. I touched the spot on my back that had hit the railing and felt a small amount of pain as I touched it.

"God...you never leave me alone. Why is that you are everywhere? No matter how much I try to avoid you and your presence...you always show up. Always," He said as he looked back at me. I turned my head and looked at him as he bit his lip and looked at me.

"Don't think I am trying to catch your eye and always be where you are. For some reason it is always a coincidence. The only reason I am here today is because of Priyanka and her happiness," I said as Shivaay sighed.

"I know. Nobody wants me. Nobody...you see those people there who are supposedly my family. They are not. Look at how happy they are. They don't have a care for me in the world. If they did then I would have been happy," Shivaay said as I looked at him curiously and tried to understand what he was saying.

"God, I am not supposed to miss you. I am supposed to be happy since I got rid of you and fulfilled this unfulfilling hatred I had for you, but for some reason I am not happy. For some reason you are always in my mind. I don't know why I am like this. God! I miss you..." He said as I looked up at him as my eyes began to fill up with tears. For some reason, I had wanted to hear that for years and probably since the moment I had met him at the hospital. I felt my heart breaking all over again as he looked back at me. I felt our memories flash back as I looked at him. I gripped onto the railing as he walked up closer to me as I moved back. He was close and too close for comfort as he leaned against me and placed both of his hands on the railing as he trapped me and stared down at me.

"Can't we just go back in time?" He said as I sighed and closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"That...time passed....I did give you a chance to come back to me that day, but you didn't..."I said as I looked at him as he stared down at me. For some reason I noticed a twinkle of wet tears in his eyes that drowned back as his eyes reddened.

"It was my wedding day with Tia when you came," He said as I gulped and looked away from him.

"But you had a choice...you had a choice that you didn't decide to choose because you had self-interests...and you cared a lot for your family...I did try to understand you, but couldn't. I couldn't understand about where we went wrong. About why you didn't fight for us...And now when I think about it...I realize maybe all of that was a lie like you had confessed yourself. For some reason, I had hope that everything you said to me was not a lie, but I was wrong....."I said as I felt my heart clench in tightness as I felt it yearn for him and for that love. For some reason, I wanted to say this for years and I just did. I felt tears falling down my eyes as I started hiccupping. What was wrong with me? Why am I not able to control these feelings that were suppressed for so long?

I suddenly felt his weight on me as I held my arms up and placed them on his back as he laid his head on my shoulder. I felt intoxicated in his grip as he held on to me tightly and I held him too. I felt my legs weaken as my arms trembled under his weight.

"Anika...I..." Shivaay mummered in his mouth and stopped. Clearly he had lost it with too much alcohol. Oh no what am I supposed do now? I am not inhumane. I can't just leave him here all intoxicated. What if he creates a commotion at Priyanka's engagement? I pushed him back lightly and placed his arm around my shoulder and began walking towards the patio door that led inside.

"Where...are...you taking me?" Shivaay mummered as we wobbled down our path to the patio.

"Shivaay you are in no condition to go back to the party. You will embarrass Priyanka in front of everyone. This is her engagement and if you go back her reputation will be ruined as everyone will say her brother is a drunk," I said as I opened the patio door that led to the kitchen. It appeared no one was in the kitchen as I dragged Shivaay out and up the stairs.

We finally made it upstairs and then I was confused on where to take him. I didn't know which one was his room.

"Where's you room?" I asked as Shivaay looked around and pointed at the pair of doors at the end of the hallway. I quietly dragged him along and opened the door. I closed the door and walked Shivaay slowly to his bed.

Shivaay sighed as we made it to his bed. Suddenly I felt his weight heavy on me as my feet slipped and flew up from the floor as I felt myself falling straight down on the bed. I felt a heavy weight on me and I knew it was Shivaay as he had collapsed on top of me.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed as Shivaay sighed and tried to get up before falling on top of me. I felt his warm body cooly touch mines as his arms wrapped around me. I closed my eyes as I felt him breathing lightly on me as his lips touched the nape of my neck. A shiver went down my spine as I gripped on the bed sheet tightly as I closed my eyes. I felt his hand move down my back as I shivered. His fingernails touching deeply into my waist. Thump thump. I heard my heart beat faster as I looked back at him. His hand slowly traced up from my arm and up to my face as he touched the tears still falling down my cheeks. He stared at those tears for a while and then looked up at me. I felt his eyes soften as if they were trying to understand me and what I was feeling. Suddenly I felt a push as he pushed me back and he sat up on the bed. I grabbed my dupatta and placed it on my neck. I quickly got up as Shivaay laid down. He spread his legs on the bed as as I turned him over on his side and took of his shoes. I noticed him staring at me as I looked at him.

His hand softly wrapped around my wrist.

"Don't leave," He said as I shook my head and wiggled my hand out.

"You don't have any rights on me anymore Shivaay," I said as I walked out of the room and closed the door shut.

Copyright © jasminedarcie

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