And if you're reading that on TeenFic, you have smol peepee. 

" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

*This is a world of many mixed races. Humans, elves, fairies, half-beasts, espers, youkai, angels and demons. And if there are many types of races... There shouldbe many types of brothels !!*

Elma: *Smooch* Fu fu fu. Thank you for coming today, dear human. Come back soon !

Stunk: Don't worry, I'll definitely come back. Hehe... Heheh. They're just as I imagined ! Elves are all young, gorgeous and cute ! that's awesome !

*Human Adventurer: Stunk*

Zel: Yo, Stunk.

Stunk: Hey, wazzup ?

Zel: Did... Did you really sleep with that elf just there ? Just how can you do such a thing ? She's at least 500 years old !

Stunk: ... ? What's wrong with that ?

Zel: What's wrong ?! She's an old hag !!

Stunk: You may say that, but she looks young. It's fine if she's cute.

Zel: I just can't believe this... I really can't comprehend human tastes. Just where do you see that thing as cute ?

???: Ara Ara~ If it isn't my sweet little Zel ?

Mitsue: Long time no see~

Zel: Hi there, Mitsue ! I believe I went there just 3 months ago. To me it feels like yesterday.

Mitsue: Well, well, for us humans, 3 months is a lot !

Zel: Is that so ? Well then, I'll come tonight to play a bit.

*Insert sloppy french kiss noises*

Mitsue: Really ? I'm so happy to hear that~ I'll be waiting for you then~

Zel: Hah... Humans are awesome ! All women are less than 100 years old !

*Also, in this world, there are as many fetishes as there are different races.*

Stunk: As I was saying, your taste for women is strange.

Zel: No ! It's yours that's fucked up ! Wait, all you humans are wrong in the head, I've been saying that for over 100 years !

Stunk: All elves are cute regardless of age, what's wrong with that ?!

Zel: Her mana is rotten ! Can't you understand that ?!

Stunk: NO I CAN'T ! If it's like that, let's see who's really right ! Hey ! Brooz ! Kanchal ! You guys also go to the succubus street every night to play, right ?

Brooz: Hey, dumbass !

Kanchal: Don't speak so loudly about that in the bar !

Stunk: Shut up and ignore the details ! Write a review and give your scores too !

Zel: the theme's "500 year old elf succubus VS 50 year old human succubus" !

Both: ... *Sigh*

*Perverted elf travel tips ! What is a succubus girl ? You may ask yourself "Ain't succubus a race ?" Actually, all of these women who work on this kind of stuff, are half-succubi, working as succubi hostess. So there's no problem with them doing such things, precisely because they are succubi ! There's no problem, you see ? It's allowed by law. And the interesting thing is that if you went 10 generations back, there's no one in this world who has no succubus blood in their veins.. That means there's no problem for anyone ! Adults are kind of dirty like that, aren't they ?*

Brooz: Here it is...

Stunk: Let's see...

*500 years old elf:

Stunk/Human: Fuck yes ! Every single elf is cute, there are almost no ugly ones. It doesn't matter their age if they are cute ! The only bad thing compared to other races, is that they don't have anything "special", but since they're cute, that's not a problem. 9.

Zel/Elf: She's older than my mother ! there's no way I can fuck that ! 0 !

Brooz/Beastman: her looks might be cute, but 500 years old elves have an aged odor which smells like mold. She might look cute, but if you close your eyes and feel the smell, you'll know that you're with an old woman. 5.

Kanchal/Halfling: Well, it's a grandma... I do not dislike elves, but due to humans that seek them no matter the age, the succubus street is filled with them, some are even 800 years old. I'm sorry, but they don't interest me. 2.*

*50 years old human:

Stunk/Human: Every once in a while, you see one of these while strolling the road. Go away ! Change your profession asap ! But I'll admit that since they're experienced, their techniques are good. I'm able to fuck them, but I don't like them. 2.

Zel/Elf: To humans, these seem they could already be grandmothers, but their mana is far greater than younger ones. When they are 20 years old, they're too young. Besides, these have better technique. Why don't people like them They're perfect ! 9.

Brooz/Beastman: I'm not a fan of skinny 50 years old humans, but I enjoy the plump ones. If you look at them as if they were orcs, they look pretty cute. I love how soft these are, even better than orcs at that. Their smell is a bit subjective, some like, other don't. 7.

Kanchal/Halfling: Another grandma. I have no interest in them as well but since there aren't as many of these as there are elves, they're not as much of a problem to Succubus street. 3.*

Zel: See ? Elves have a worse reputation, right ?

Stunk: What the- Are you serious ?

Zel: Well ? Are you finally gonna admit that humans are better ?

Stunk: Hold on for a second ! We're still lacking two reviews !

Zel: You mean him ? Where has he been all day anyway... ? Wait, wasn't he... ?

Stunk: Yup. He said they wanted to test out that new "Slime massage" service that opened last week. Shouldn't be long before he comes back...

Delivery man: excuse me, I have something for a certain "Stunk" here...

Stunk: A package ?

Delivery man: Not exactly...

Zel: Let me guess...

???: Weeeeeee~...

Zel: Yeah, kinda expected that... man, makes me want to test it too. Hey, wake up !

Stunk: No, wait... We'll hit two birds with one stone. Get a water bucket.

Zel: Ohhh, we're doing that ? Ice water, coming right up !

*SPLASH*

???: ... ... ...

Stunk: ... 6... 7... 8...

???: ... BUGAH !!

Stunk: 9 ! 9 seconds, so that makes 9 points !

Zel: Noted !

???: Arg ! *Cough* *Cough* W- What the hell ?!

Stunk: Special rating process with you, buds. You know how things work. Were these slime girls so good the two of you passed out ?

"... Oh, right. That. Be right back, we'll need to go with the reviews."

Stunk: Ah-ah-ah, not so fast. First of, we need your opinions on some matter.

*Fwish*

"... Let me guess: You fucked some elven Milf, and Zel doesn't approve ?"

Stunk: Bullseye ! So now, why don't the two of you write down on that ? The subject is "500 year-old elf VS 50-year old human".

"Haa... Give me that damn paper."

*Fwish*

"... What kind of contest even is that... ?"

Stunk: Done ?

*Fwish*

"Half."

Stunk: Oh, ok. Take your time.

Zel: Man, what a piece of luck to find a guy like them... Now we've got two reviews for the price of one...

Stunk: Hey, it's not like it's a race of their own... But I guess you're right.

"You know we can hear you, right ?"

Stunk: Shit. Of course while one's busy, the other can just focus on something else... You done ?

"*Sigh* Here ya go..."

*500 years old elf:

Ran/Human: As much as I know (and share) the general infatuation us humans have for elves... 500 is just too much. At this point, I'd rather don't even know her age to begin with. They may say that with age come experience and technique, but even so, 100 or 200 would be plenty enough already. 6.

Sei/Human: Being into older women, the problem for me... is precisely that they all look so young... In a sort, having a girl with centuries of experience but the body of a teenager is a turndown for me... 5*

*50 years old human:

Ran/Human: *Barfing in progress, please stand by.* 1.

Sei/Human: Uhhh... Guess I'll have to do his part then... It was true for elves, it's even more true for humans... 50 years old just passed their primes. It's up to you if you like them or not, but it's a no-no here. 2.*

Stunk: HAH !

Zel: Dude, I really can't understand humans at all. At least he's more civilized than you. 500's just too much.

"Hey, you're the ones who asked. Like it or hate it, that's our reviews."

Zel: Hey, don't take it personally... Say, wanna go to another joint ?

"We're both kinda spent right now, if you haven't noticed. You should take Crim with you instead."

Angel: GYAAAAAAAH !!

*THWACK*

Zel: Now, you two !!

"We got this ! Meteor impact !!"

Stunk: You need to stop with those flashy names. Just do the job-

*SCHUNK*

Stunk: And be done with it. Hey boy, you're okay ?

"... An angel ? First time seeing one."

Zel: Same here, even after living for 200 years.

"Can you stop flexing your longevity in our faces ?"

Zel: Can you stop shouting your attacks ?

"Listen, it was his idea, not mine ! He just thinks it's 'cool' and it rubbed off on me !"

Stunk: Ha, stop bickering. Anyway, the monsters around here are quite strong, so we'll escort you until the next village after we leave this place. Come along.

Angel: Wa... Please wait a minute ! I- It's evident that you are skilled adventurers ! Please, can you let me stay with you for the time being ?

"... I thought angels were a tad bit more resilient... What are you so worried for ?"

Angel: Well, um... The reason is... Because at the moment, my halo is damaged and I can't show my true strength. And more than that, I can't return to heaven... Also, i'm not familiar with the mortal world... That is why I hope that until my halo's fixed... I know this is a selfish request, however... I- Is it too much... ?

Stunk: ... Heh.

"I know that look too well, and I can't even tell if it's good or bad news."

Stunk: So if that halo's fixed, you can go to heaven, right ?

Angel: Eh ? Y- Yes.

Stunk: Alright ! Are you thinking what i'm thinking ?

"Depends on who you're asking. He's thinking he could go with apple pie for dessert today."

Stunk: ... Of course I'm asking you, not him...

"You're thinking about going up there, aren't you ?"

Stunk: Bingo ! Then when your halo's fixed, bring us to heaven ! If you do that, we'll support you with all our power until it's fixed !

Angel: Truly ? Thank you very much ! But... Why do you want to go to heaven... ?

Stunk: I was just wondering.. if heaven also have sex-shops...

Angel: ... Wha ?

"This is for our goal... For the sake of diddling every single species ! Be it the jungle, the depths of the ocean, burning desert or freezing mountains !"

Zel: As long as cute girls are there ! Even to heaven, to hell, we shall go !!

Angel: Ah... yeah...

Stunk: Man, I can't wait ! The day we find brothels with angels is the day we go to our literal paradise !

Zel: Wait ! There's also the possibility of god working there too !

"God ? Why stick with god, maybe it's a goddess ! Ooh, i'm getting even more excited now ! This definitely is..."

Stunk/Zel: Our Utopia !!

Angel: '... I have a feeling I got involved with the wrong people...'

Stunk: Ah... hey you... Your face and voice are quite androgynous there, but... You're a guy... Right ?

"Oh crap, did we accidentally say all of that to a lady ?"

Angel: Eh ?! I- I'm a guy ! Obviously ! L- Look. I wear shorts, and there's a bulge. See ?

Angel: 'I actually have both parts, but... if I say that, I'm totally going to be attacked...'

Stunk: Oh, I see. Then that's fine.

Zel: To the village then, let's not waste any time. You're already here, might as well pay for you too, boy.

Angel: pay for me ? For a meal ?

"That too, we could. But we were more thinking about a succubus joint."

Angel: ... Eh ? ... WHA ! WHAAAAAAT !! Nonononono !! Please wait a minute ! I've never gone to those kind of places... wait, actually, I've never done it...

"So first-timer then ? Stunk, any suggestion ?"

Stunk: I gotcha. it's totally worth spending money for you.

Angel: Umm... I mean... That sort of immoral thing is... I think it's not good... yes... Umm... I mean, as an angel... Are you listening ?!

All: We've arrived~ !

Angel: No, I mean... This kind of place is... Umm...

"He's new to that kind of thing, so can you pick something nice for him ?"

Receptionist: Leave it to meow~

Neko: It's meow first time serving an angel ! Is it the first time you've comeow to this kind of shop ?

Angel: Y- Yes... No, I mean... Um...

Neko: Let's go to the showerrrr~ ?

Angel: ... yes.

Receptionist: Thank you myerry much~.

Stunk: hell yeah ! Catgirls really are wonderful ! So cute !

"Yeah, it's a classic, but it always woks. Great for beginners too."

Zel: Heh. Humans really like cat ears, huh. Now, wheeere's next... A species we hadn't done would be nice...

*An angel has joined the party, pure and innocent. No longer.*

Angel: I... I did it... All sorts of things... All at once...

"Congratulation, you're now one of us !"

*Fwish*

"I'm... truly sorry for your loss."

Angel: ... What's with that *Fwish* sound ? And why does it sounds like your personality does an 180 each time ?

"Hehe. That's our secret. We're the 2-in-1 reviewer."

Angel: Eh ?

"Ah, yes, it is kinda complicated... In short, we're two souls in one body. And since we conveniently are polar opposites... In short, this is a Jojo Reference."

Crim: ... Uhhhhhhh...