" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

*The adventurer's board, where rare information gathered during an adventure is posted. For adventurers, it's not just a way to get famous. The valuable reports get reprinted in other stores or villages, and their authors also earn some money.*

Meidri: *Sigh* Here, Stunk, Zel, Y/n, for you.

Stunk: Hmm ? What's this ?

Meidri: The reward for posting your reviews on the board... Everyone took you guys' article with them. Really, men...

"To be honest, at first I never thought those scribbles could turn into money... And there's quite a lot, too~ !"

Meidri: What are you going to do with it ?

Zel: There's only one way to spend it, obviously.

"We're going to review new species !"

Stunk: This is our job.

Zel: Sure is.

Meidri: ... ...

Stunk: Right then, let's decide on the next place. The mermaid one opened, so how about it ?

Zel: Didn't we just go to Dagon's place ? Let's do something not water-type.

Stunk: Fucking hell, you decide by elemental type ? Unbelievable...

"He does have a point though. Hey Crim, about time you get paid for working here, right ? You're coming too ?

Crim: Huh... ? Umm... I...

Stunk: You should go to release some stress once in a while.

"And maybe something else, eh ?"

Meidri: Hahhh... gross, unclean, disgusting. Jeez, go ahead then, I don't care.

Stunk: My, what's this ? Is little Meidri jealous ? Do you want one of us to do a personal review of you tonight ?

Adventurer: haven't seen the gang around these days. Just how far did they go for that fuck...

Meidri: ... 'That reminds me, it's been 2 weeks since they left... Which really was quite a long time. i'm a bit worried... And it's busy without Crim to share the work... Wait, why should I worry about these lechers... So silly of me.'

"YO !! Guess who's back !!"

Adventurer: Yo, guys, done the deed already ?

Stunk: You bet ! Perfectly !

*Fwish*

"Oh, right... Here, Meidri, can you put this on the board ?"

Meidri: Aahh... 'Really... Perverts like always. Worrying was a waste of time. Hmm ?'

*Bird-maids, a shockingly erotic species !!

Stunk/Human: Above everything else, their sensitivity is amazing. She let out some wonderful cries every time I attacked. It's like I had my own little pet bird ! And her cries were so sweet, so beautiful, so sensual, an orchestra of eroticism ! And I had to give a standing ovation for their bottom half, too ! The wings were a little bothersome during the fun, but it looks cute anyway, and it's nice and fluffy being wrapped inside them so it's all good. 9

Zel/Elf: Have you ever had a budgerigar as a pet ? Once they get comfortable with you, they even copulate on your palm. How nostalgic... Anyway, what I want to say here is that perverted girls are perverted. And this place is full of that kind of girls. Buggering budgerigars, what a wonderful phrase. Furthermore, the shop is in the middle of a forest, so it's calming for an elf like me, and I like bird people too, so high score in all !! 9

Crimvael/Angel: I really like their beautiful wings, they feel so completely different from mine. But since it looks like they're generally the passive type and I'm not really good with being the one on top, I was a little bit troubled... And she told me to stop playing with her wings all the time since they'll be damaged and got angry... Their basic course of bathing together in the forest lake was nice and cold, but I wonder who would order the course with the sand bath... Maybe it's for customers of the same species... ? 7

Sei-Ran/Human: To be honest, what I thought would be a problem ended up as a great opportunity. That being their submissive nature. It may be not very objective regarding our... Situation, but regardless. If you're not the type to be on top, trust me on that: If you ever have insomnia, this is the best treatment. You can search, you won't find softer and warmer blankets to be wrapped in than their wings. So Ran could take care of the fun, and Sei enjoyed the aftermath very much. Definitely going back one day. 9

Narugami/Male Lamia: They told me they can't handle snakes and kicked me out... Even though they looked so gropable... The whole thing was a cloacablock. 3.

Adventurers: Ohh, the nape, huh ? Highly sensitive, I see...

Meidri: Y- YOU GUUUUUUYS !!

Zel: No, I mean... The avian idea didn't come from me or Stunk...

'Do not meet her gaze...'

Crim: 'Act natural...'

Stunk: Hehehee... here, right ? Near the hairline at the back of your neck, right ?

Meidri: T- TWEEEEEET ?!

Crim: ... ... You guys made a common review this time ?

"That's what happens when we've got nothing really different to say and agree on the note..."

Stunk: Okay, next... What kind of girls should we pick... ?

"Maybe one that doesn't threaten your physical integrity ?"

Zel: Yeah... Wasn't Sei really less hesitant than usual, though ?

"Beats me. Well, no, I know what's going on, but he did enjoy it very much... Hmm..."

Fairies: Meidriiiii !! Two more nectar ales !

Meidri: Okay !

Stunk: ... How about fairies ?

Zel: I was thinking the same thing.

"... I kinda have a bad feeling about this... We do..."

Receptionist: Aaah, hey, come on in. Looks like all of you are new here...

Stunk: ...' is this what you meant by bad feeling ?'

'Not exactly... There goes my image of fairies...'

Receptionist: There's a registration fee if it's your first time here. We'll make you a membership card, but it's another five hundred gold on top of the normal cost... That okay ?

Zel: Err, well... I guess we have no choice.

Receptionist: All right. Then let's get to the screening process. You're up first.

"... Pfffrrrr..."

Receptionist: Okay. Now get it up.

Stunk: Huh ?! Get it up ?!

"Pfffrrrrr- HAHAHAHAHA !!"

Stunk: What's going on here ?! Is this some kinda joke ?!

Receptionist: I'm not playing around. We've got forty-two succubus working here. Each of them has got limits on size and girth... We're a species that comes in a lot of sizes. Nothin' you can do about that, right ?

*Fwish*

"Y... Yeah, I suppose that makes sense..."

Stunk: But... How am I supposed to get it up like this... ?

Receptionist: Ugh... Fine, then.

*BOIN*

Receptionist: Hup. Okay, here we go.

Receptionist: Huh, you really got something here, don'cha, mister ?

Stunk: Shut it...

Receptionist: Okay, here's your official card. Sixteen and a half centimeters. 4,1 for girth.

Stunk: DON'T JUST SAY THE NUMBER OUT LOUD !!

*Fwish*

"FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!"

Receptionist: The only girls I can introduce you to at that size are these two, though.

Stunk: THEY'RE BOTH FATTIES !!

"S-STOP IT !! I'M GONNA DIE OF HILARITY !!"

Receptionist: For our elf, you can pick from these twenty.

Stunk: 'Damn it all !!'

Receptionist: Halfling, you can pick anyone.

Kanchal: ... Not a single one's a no-go ?

Receptionist: Nope. So next is our angel boy.

Crim: Okay...

Receptionist: ... Sorry, dude. there's not a single girl here you could shove that thing into.

All: ... ... ... ...

Receptionist: Okay, last...

"I... I think I'll pass. Take the fee, that good laugh was more than worth it."

Receptionist: Your choice. But it's true that you're most likely not missing much.

*We went to a Fairy paradise:

Stunk/Human: You start by signing up and getting your junk measured. The registration fee is pretty high, but I got more excited than I expected when the girl at reception measured me. Apparently, they do this because of size limits each of the girls have. If you're human-sized, though, about 70 percent of the girls will definitely be off-limits to you, and all that's left if you go past 16 centimeters are girls so big and fat you might have a hard time believing they're fairies. It doesn't feel like you're doing it with a fairy at all, damn it. 3

Zel/Elf: They've got a bunch of experienced succu-girls at this place, but the size limits are definitely rough. Even if you're the size of an average elf, about half of them will be off-limits. It's a new feeling to be going at it with someone so petite, but as far as the physical sensation, it's almost like playing with a doll. I don't see myself becoming a regular here... Still, I really like the pleasant atmosphere in those small rooms created by the powerful magic inside of the girls and their fragrant smell. 7.

Kanchal/Halfling: All of them were okay with a halfling... Well, it's obvious they'd be, since we're such a small species, but it did make me a little sad as a man. The feeling of being with a tiny species got me pretty turned on, and I like hos good they smell too. No complaints here, other than the initial registration fee they charge. 9.

Ran/Human: I had the chance to see the problem coming before jumping in. So I chose to pull out while it was still possible. Considering the registration fee, don't go if you're around or bigger than the average human, and if you don't plan on being a regular. The laugh was kinda worth it though. 1.

Crimvael/Angel: I won't say why, but I was told none of them would see me... They still charged me the initial fee, though... It feels like such a waste... Actually, it was a literal waste of money... 0.*

Crim: ... ... ... ... ...