By SweetLolitaCosplay

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Hello, my name is SweetLolitaCosplay or Rose. I am questioning my love life and my sexuality, but at the moment I am currently leaning to being gay instead or straight or questioning. I don't want to come out to my family again about it because I don't know if that's what gender I for sure I like and want to be with, all I know for right now is that I don't like being with men cause I am always pushed down and they are on top. For me, I love being dominate and really with a man I can't be "on top", it just doesn't happen..I can't stand being with a man because of that and because of many other reasons..Anyway, let me begin with sharing one of my personal experiences with a girl and my first come out. It all started about two or three year ago when I read a Girl×Girl fanfiction for the first time. I was very intrigued and very curious about somethings that happened in the fanfiction, things like kissing, biting, touching and ect. Note that my best friend, we'll call her Alex, already came out a couple months before hand but still hasn't tried anything with a girl yet. I showed the fanfiction to her and she thought it was interesting too and nothing really happened differently, we still talked, joked and hang out like normal. A month later I got asked to spend the night by my best friend and me, thinking that it was just going to be a normal night with games and stuff, said yes. It wasn't a normal night at all, it was far from normal. First we went up to her bedroom and as I went to put my bag of clothes on the bed, she kissed my cheek and my lips. I was confused and afraid, but I couldn't help but to follow along, After that we got into the shower together and did the same and even before we went to bed. Ever since that day she has been coming over up until I transferred schools, I haven't seen her for half a year but I finally got to see her last week. I went over and everything was like that day when she first kissed me, ever since last week she's been trying to come over..But I am confused at the moment as of why she did that. She likes another person yet we exchange kisses, neck bites and almost everything that a normal couple does. I don't understand it and part of me does really like her a lot, but I don't know if I truly want to be with a girl and that I want to ruin her love.

If any of you are experiencing this then please let me know, thank you and Bye Bye!