By Emily

~

"Draco is soooo hot!" A voice giggled from behind me as the other girls flushed about him. I cringed, trying to oppress a shiver that ran down my spine.

"Hey, look at this picture of Emma Watson she looks so pretty here," One of them commented passing her phone down. I turned around. For some reason every fiber of my body screamed with ecstasy.

"OMG is that Emma Watson!" I gasped catching a glimpse of her posing as Hermione Granger. The girls gave me a 'seriously...' sort of look.

That wasn't the first time. And Emma and Hermy weren't the only females I was so crazed about.

For some reason I never really liked any of the male celebs or characters in fact. Well not as much as the female ones.

When the girls in my class gushed about Zayn, Sam Claflin, Theo James, those sorts, I never really seemed to care so much about them.

"Hey Emily don't you think (some celeb I don't even know) is cute?"

I looked at the picture on her computer screen and shrugged, "I guess he's kind of cute?" Was my usual answer.

And it's so weird on how I was absolutely attracted to the female celebs. In fact look through my Instagram and my search history. I only ever searched about them. (Just between you and me, Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie are my absolute girl crushes)

And whenever I see a girl whether it's my classmate or a random person on the train, it's funny how I would stare at her flowy hair, her eyes, her sweet smile.

I guess you could say that I've always known I was a bit different.

I never really considered myself being gay till recently. And just the thought of it makes me really confused.

Maybe that's why I've never really had crushes on any of the boys I've met (and I socialize a lot with them but I'm in a girl school now so yes, yes there are a LOT of attractive girls there). And maybe that's why when I see a girl that is really attractive, I feel really nervous whenever I approach her, thinking twice about whatever I say (and I usually don't do that). Worrying if I look cool and not the sloppy way I usually dress. And HELL I bet it'll be great to kiss a girl!

The thing is, I'm not entirely sure of myself yet. And that makes it totally confusing. I find myself contemplating my sexuality most of the time. Like am I straight? Or am I gay? Maybe I'm bi? I never used to support the lgbt community so much till this year. Before that the thought of same sex couples confused me (mostly because I THOUGHT it was not natural). But I was still really young then and I didn't really know what it really means to be part of the lgbt community and hey now I'm a hardcore supporter of LOVE. But right now, I'm still really confused but I'm taking it one step at a time.

Baby steps people. Baby steps. One day I'm sure that you will find who you truly are, just like I am.