By Anonymous

~

So, basically I'm just confused for the moment.

Up until about two years ago, I had always just assumed I was straight and that was that. I didn't think I had any other option and I certainly didn't want to be gay, right?

Wrong.

It turns out there's a bisexual and a pansexual and a whole bunch of other stuff I didn't know about.

But how did I come to the conclusion I may be bisexual or even pansexual?

Well it started out in fifth grade when I got a slight crush on this girl in the grade above and I was like, "Eh whatever."

And then October of sixth or seventh grade my best friend came out to me as bisexual and I got really excited. Like, really really excited.

I don't remember ever feeling any romantic or sexual feelings towards her, but my first thought was, "Maybe I have a chance." I pushed that thought aside like the idiot I know I am.

But the real confusing thing was that I had only ever liked boys. And that's what really messed my mind up. Yadda yadda skip until February 13 of seventh grade and I'm sitting in a booth at the best Mexican resteraunt ever with my new best friend since sixth grade. We became 'Wifeys' and we were basically pretending to be married.

Every time there was a sleepover with just us two alone we cuddled and gave little kisses on the shoulders and the head and cheeks and made innuendos and it was all good.

And then it was all bad.

I wasn't expecting to develop actual feelings for her and then when I finally came to terms with that I find out she's moving to the next state over.

So here comes the fairwell sleepover and it's just me and her. We're just talking and I found she has legitimate feelings for me too.

And what do I do?

"Aw thanks I feel special!"

Excuse me while I go and gag at my own stupidity. I should've kissed her or at least told her, "Hey yeah me too!" It's been awhile since that night, and I'm still haunted by the fact that the idiot I am said THAT.

Where was I going with this story?

Oh yes, I remember. It took me awhile and I'm still questioning myself, but I'm pretty sure I am a bisexual female human. But recently I've been obsessed with binding my chest, so I dunno about the whole 'female' thing because I just feel horrible in dressss and skirts and feminine clothing in general.

Wait sorry, getting off topic again.

Anywho, I'm still young and I got time to figure this stuff out. But for the time being, I will label myself as bisexual but maybe that will change someday. There were a lot of turning points for me to come to this conclusion, but the main one was the one I told you all about.

So, if you're ever questioning who or what you are, it'll be fine. You've got all the time in the world to figure yourself out and there's not even a need to put labels on yourself.

My name is not included, but that was my rollercoaster of a story.