By Ali

~

When I read most LGBTQIA+ works, the main character usually discovers that they like someone of the same gender and it comes as a shock to them. For me, I was the exact opposite. I always knew that I liked girls, and I have sometimes found a guy or a non-binary person to be cute, but I have never felt any sort of romantic or physical attraction towards them.

Until last week.

I met a boy at a music camp that turned my life upside down and inside out. He is a year above me, and plays the same instrument I do. He was very kind to me on the first day we met, and we have been communicating via text messaging since we left.

We sat next to each other in orchestra seating and had the same small ensemble group, so we became very familiar with each other.

Every time he touched me I felt my chest go numb and my stomach do back flips. When he grabbed my hand to take a splinter out of it I was a blushing mess.

When he said my name I felt my heart snap and repair itself again.

God. I'm getting cheesy.

But I've never really felt this way towards a boy before.

As a part of camp tradition, we stand in a circle hold hands and sing a soft, emotional song at the end of every night, followed by Taps. On the last night, I ended up being next to him. He gave my hand a few squeezes throughout the song, and I would return them back, and soon we both just held a firm grip on each other's hands.

He is my personal milestone, and that excites me but also frustrates me. I thought I was just gay, but now I am beginning to question everything. I think that for now I will just stick with having no labels on myself in regards to sexuality until I figure myself out, and I am fine with that.

~Ali