By Jay

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Hi, I'm Jay, my sex is female and my gender is either androgynous or Demi-girl, at this point in still not sure.

When I was 9 (I thought I was female back then) I realised that I wasn't having crushes on guys like the rest of my class and all these feelings they said they felt for the people they liked, I was receiving for girls, I knew nothing of this other than a large group of the people around me thought of it as wrong.

I googled it, searches about what it's like to like the same gender.

I came to the conclusion that I was a lesbian, a year later I told a small circle of friends, only one of them accepting me, the others called me a liar and said 'you don't act gay, you can't be gay, that's just weird' and that just created thoughts in my head that shouldn't be thought by a 10 year old.

I got over it, somehow, on my own I pulled through, I got away from my controlling homophobic friends and made much better ones, now I'm 14 I am questioning my gender, I don't want to call myself fully female or fully male, I like makeup, I like men's clothing, I came to the conclusion that I'm androgynous or a Demi-girl.

I don't know what this means for my sexuality but apparently it means I'm sapphic, which according to an internet friend means romantically attracted to girls.

To this point I hate labels with a passion, I feel like I'm separating myself from everyone else and being put in a box, I don't want a gender identity, I just want to be Jay, and I'm happy like that.