Demi in need of help - part 2

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By Anonymous

~

Hello, my last story here was 'Demi in need of help' and thanks to that part of my story, the kind and caring people who offered advice gave me courage and hope. And even helped me discover myself more, my label, Biromantic Demisexual. Thank you.

My last story was briefly about how I was struggling whether to tell a girl, my friend that I liked her.

Let me tell you now, that if you're Demi, and have developed a crush on a friend, you should tell them. The ultimate to do so or not tell him or her is your choice.

Whether you two start a relationship because your feelings were returned, or you stay as friends, or are no longer talking.

If the two of you have started dating, that is incredible, if you stay as friends, that's better than not being friends at all.

If they have stopped being friends with you merely because of your crush on them, then they weren't a good friend in the first place.

When I had told her, it was brief, "-I like you" and even before hand I had apologized, because I'd been so scared that once I told her, we would stop being friends, and it would have been my fault.

She is wonderful, the two guys I'd asked for advice (who both were actually gay and were also friends with her) had both told me she wouldn't stop being my friend just because I developed feelings for her.

I knew that. I was worried I would have created the awkward atmosphere between us, that we would slowly drift apart to the point that we weren't friends no more.

I'd told her on a Friday, good, but also horrible idea. After I'd told her, we didn't have the chance to talk.

And I know I also shocked her and she was still thinking '...-what?' And I didn't get much of a reaction to get a solid idea of what she was thinking or feeling.

So, we didn't talk till after the weekend, I have no way to talk to her at home. The wait was killing me and I wanted to take back what I said.

Before that day ended, I sent her a message asking if were still friends. I didn't get a response, not till Monday.

The relief was instantaneous when she'd reassured me that we were still in fact, friends.

Yayyyy, happy tears, I'm happy I really am we are friends and managed to get past the awkwardness.

Now I can deal with the small, maybe medium, sting of rejection.

I'm still sorting out feelings, I understand why I like her, the question is when did it start. But considering I have to push myself forward, I have to ignore that question and move on...

I'm constantly worried that when I hang out with her, in some way, I'm making her uncomfortable, that every time our eyes meet, she looks away quickly and left worried yet again with what she might be thinking of me.

We talk less now, there are moments when we are both incredibly happy. But then there's moment where it seems like she doesn't want me around. When we had talk we both sent each other a long message to sort out the obvious, we weren't really meant to be in a relationship together.

But there's still a lot of things that have been left unsaid, and are constantly eating at me, and sometimes I shut down, or break down

And then there is the little, teeny little ember of hope that maybe that now she knows- (because I doubt she'd forgotten. But if she did that would be less worry on my mind) -she would eventually, maybe develop feeling for me....yeah, I know, unlikely to happen.

I am truly happy that not a whole has changed between us, that's really great.

But, what do I do now.

I'm left floating in the air, unsure what to do.

I'm happy I at least spoke up a little, but my advice to anyone out there, let the one you like, know how you feel. My sister had told me "-because who knows, you probably the one with the courage to speak you feeling aloud" and maybe you'll get lucky. And maybe even after the fact, like me, you'll still be friends.

And don't left anything unsaid.

Go for it, it's a lit better than keeping those feeling bottled up and hidden.

Good luck.

All the love, ~A

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