"Damn," I breathed, panting and sliding down the wall. "It's already four o'clock, and I'm utterly exhausted." With trembling hands, I grabbed my water bottle and greedily chugged its contents, savoring the sweet, refreshing liquid as it slid down my throat.

"But you smashed your record today, so it's a-okay!" Polt exclaimed with her usual enthusiasm, giving me a thumbs-up as she looked down at me. "You should be proud of yourself!"

I gave her a weak thumbs-up in reply, too busy guzzling water to answer vocally.

After Manako and I had a peaceful and enjoyable stroll down the beach, we called our car and drove back to town. We had a few brief conversations, but Manako seemed content to spend time together in silence, which I respected. I wanted to avoid any potential triggers of her severe anxiety, so I remained silent, though her current state was beginning to make me concerned.

I was hopeful that she wouldn't be as tricky as I had anticipated since the last time I encountered an individual suffering from severe depression, I wasn't sure I would avoid making the same errors I had made before.

I had stopped at home to see if anyone wanted to join me at the Sports Club Kobold. Unfortunately, most people were either uninterested or had already gone, leaving only me and...

"Well done! You've finally achieved the basic level of human fitness," Rachnee said with a hint of amusement, wiping the beads of sweat from her pale forehead as she joined us.

... Surprisingly, not Suu. She'd been busy playing video games alone for the first time in, like, ever, which was odd enough. Add on top of the fact that she still seemed lost in her thoughts...

I only wished she'd talk to me more, but I must accept that she will do it when she is ready. Thankfully, Papi was home, so Suu wouldn't be alone while I was away tonight. She had also been getting closer to Cerea lately, so she was likely to keep her company.

"I'll take my victories wherever I can find them," I said, placing the empty bottle aside. Taking in the sights of the gym's first floor, I spotted a few familiar faces. A werewolf, which might have been a cu sith, was steadily lifting weights off in the corner. A barometz, or maybe a pan faun, was running on a treadmill. I had noticed a few other patrons earlier, but they had either left or moved on to the more advanced areas of the gym.

"That's a great attitude, but don't lose sight of your ambitions!" Polt encouraged. "I just wanted to check in on you since I've been quite busy lately. Take care!" With that, she began jogging away, waving her paw goodbye.

Rachnee and I watched her go until we heard the woman beside us let out a long, weary sigh. "Just seeing her is enough to make me exhausted," Rachnee said, sipping her water bottle.

"Yes, definitely," I agreed. "But it's great that she still had the time to come and visit us. She must be swamped running this place on top of all her other responsibilities."

"Such a busybody," Rachnee groaned, shaking her head. "Still, I suppose I should admire someone with a work ethic like hers. Someday."

"Eventually," I snorted with a sigh. I quickly reached for my phone to check the time. "Oh crap, I need to hurry up and get ready," I groaned.

Rachnee glanced at me with her lidded red eyes and shifted away to make room for me as I stood up. "What for dinner?" she asked, smirking. "You don't stink quite that terribly," she added teasingly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have a date tonight!" I exclaimed. "I need to look my best, don't I?"

"Interesting," Rachnee said, her voice dripping with disbelief. Her body seemed increasingly tense by the second as if she was expecting something. "And here you were complaining about how you had no energy? You'll be completely drained by six o'clock if you keep this up."

"I'll be good as new," I assured her. "I'll just do my usual routine of positive self-talk and visualization, and I'll be ready to go."

"Hmm," Rachnee murmured as we exited Sports Club Kobold. "I must ask you; did you intend to renege on your promise to Mero from the start, or did you conveniently overlook it when Zombina proposed a date?"

I almost stumbled on the even concrete, my stomach churning at the pointed question. I knew that Rachnee was being her usual confrontational self, but it was also hard to ignore the sharpness in her words. It was clear to see she was pretty irritated.

"I didn't forget," I answered softly, pausing to consider my words carefully as I swirled the contents of my bottle. I was well aware of what she was referring to, and I knew that pretending otherwise would only create a greater divide between Rachnee and me. "It just happened."

"It's quite clear what happened," Rachnee declared. "You two were all over each other last night and even cuddled and fell asleep! If I hadn't passed out before, the sight of that would've made me sick!"

"That could have helped alleviate your hangover," I suggested before I could think twice.

"Do you care about what Mero thinks?" she persisted, disregarding me. "Or were you truly that naive to believe that her emotions could be so easily forgotten merely because you both had some polite conversations?"

"Of course, I care!" I replied firmly, my heart racing. I hadn't expected to be grilled like this! Was this the reason she had come to the gym with me alone? "I just..."

"Then why lie to her? She genuinely appears to have feelings for you, despite her unfortunate fascination with tragedy." Rachnee crossed her arms, staring at me intently with her six red eyes. "Are you purposely trying to push her away so you don't have to deal with guilt?"

My grip tightened around the hard plastic of my water bottle as my fingers strained against it. I closed my mouth, focusing all my willpower on staying silent; it was the only way to ensure I wouldn't say something I'd later regret.

"The fishtail part of her probably revolted you," Rachnee continued, speaking in an almost friendly tone, which only further infuriated me. "But you didn't want to say as much for fear of being labeled a bigot, so you concocted some flimsy excuse..."

Why the fuck won't she shut up? Where was this coming from?!

Rachnee tapped a black claw against her chin, her expression dubious. "Hm, could that be it, or are you that wishy-washy, making a bold promise one moment and backing out of it the next?"

"What do you expect me to say, Rachnee?" I asked, struggling to maintain my composure. "I don't have a good answer, so can we please stop this and move on?" I thought we were growing closer as friends.

Rachnee gazed down at me, scrutinizing, before speaking in a frank tone. "That answer was far from satisfactory for Mero," she stated. "No matter how well she may attempt to conceal her feelings. And it does not pass my judgment either."

An uneasy stillness loomed between us as we walked down the street, not quite together. The sounds of the cars passing by seemed to amplify the silence that had come over us. I was expecting Rachnee to run away and leave me alone, but she stood her ground. Now that she had calmed down, I could take a moment to reflect on why she had gotten so angry. It was clear that the business with Mero mattered a lot to Rachnee, and she was unhappy with how quickly and easily I had decided to go on a date with someone else instead of Mero.

I was tired of having to explain my decisions to others and provide justifications for the choices that I had already made with ease. In the end, I chose to date Zombina simply because I wanted to; there was no point in going over it again and again. I may have made a mistake with how I dealt with Mero's emotions, but I couldn't fathom how that could make me as bad a person as Rachnee seemed to be insinuating.

I feel like I'm being pressured to meet certain expectations from the people around me, expectations that would be nearly impossible to maintain in the long run.

"If it bothers Mero that much, I'll apologize to her myself," I finally said, breaking the silence. My heart had calmed down, and I could think again. "Until then, I'm doing what makes me happy. Don't I deserve a bit of happiness too?"

Even if it hurts others?" Rachnee asked, her voice softer now than before. There was a sense of relief that she was able to contain her emotions and come back to a calmer state of mind, just like I did. Despite her effort to be perceived as a rational person, she was still a human being like the rest of us, and it was comforting to know that.

"You're going to hurt people no matter what you do," I said with a wave of dismissal. "That's just life; it's messy, and it's not always possible to keep everyone's feelings safe and secure."

"That sounds like something the privileged might say," Rachnee pointed out with disdain, "or at least those who have never felt pain."

"I agree," I conceded. "But not always. That being said...I fully understand that you care for Mero. Surprisingly enough, I do too. I'm just a person trying to make sense of my own emotions while also keeping in mind the feelings of others. Wouldn't it be great if this was a simpler matter?"

It was incredibly hard trying to guess Rachnee's emotional state. Although I was doing my best to be more attuned to how people felt, I was still no match for her. Despite all I knew about her, she was still something of a mystery to me and hard to understand. She hated lies immensely, was still terribly scared of causing harm to others from her time with Ren, and intensely disliked humans since she was sold to that abhorrent director. However, what confused me was why she could be so insistent on things that didn't seem important. Was she that uncompromising, or was this just how she interacted with people?

It was incredibly irritating, but I had to accept that my understanding of the canon could only get me so far. At present, the manga was only valuable in giving me the knowledge that Ren and the mothers would be arriving soon. Everything else was utterly unknown.

That realization wasn't exactly a comforting one.

"People are complex," Rachnee finally said. I sensed she was contemplating Ren, yet I was exhausted from making wrong assumptions about her. "But if that's your genuine answer, then I guess that is acceptable."

Have you lost your enthusiasm, Rachnee? Or have we reached a point in the conversation that has made you feel uncomfortable?

I didn't push her further, even though I was sure she wouldn't have done the same if our roles were reversed. I had been discomfited during our entire conversation, and the thought of Rachnee going through the same thing gave me a perverse pleasure before I quickly suppressed it. I didn't want to be the jerk Rachnee had accused me of being, for both our sakes. Perhaps, just perhaps, we would both feel better about it.

We finally arrived home after that, without exchanging a single word. I quickly took a shower and got myself ready. Then, I scrolled through my phone to locate the song I had been looking for, and tapped the "Play" button. To the sound of the beat, I started nodding my head in appreciation.

As the heavy bass thumped, I swayed on the balls of my feet while scouring for the perfect outfit. Allowing the chaotic and invigorating melody to engulf my body, I soon forgot the rest of the world existed. I settled on a look and, as I pulled it on, I allowed the sound to fully take over me, preparing me for the night ahead.

("I can feel it!")

"Ready for war, Joe, how you wanna blow they spot?
I know these dirty cops that'll get us in if we murder some wop
Hop in your Hummer, the Punisher's ready
Meet me at Vito's with Noodles
We'll do this dude while he's slurpin' spaghetti
Everybody kiss the fuckin' floor
Joey Crack — buck 'em all
If they move, Noodles, shoot that fuckin' whore!
Dead in the middle of Little Italy
Little did we know that we riddled two middlemen who didn't do diddly"

It was part of my routine; if by "routine" I mean the last two times I went on dates, then Big Pun did an amazing job of getting me hyped. R.I.P. to the big dog.

"It'll be a cold day in Hell the day I take an L
Make no mistake, for real, I wouldn't hesitate to kill
I'm still the fat one that you love to hate
Catch you at your mother's wake
Smack you, then I whack you with my snub tré-eight"

"I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family's children
Like Amityville, and drill the nerves in your cavity fillin'
Insanity's buildin' a pavilion in my civilian
The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealin'
A villain without remorse who's willin' to out your boss
Forever, and take all the cheddar-like child support"

I sang with him for the next part, buttoning my shirt as I did.

I support Pun in anything he does, anything he loves
A brother from another mother, sent from the above
A thug n***a just like me
One of the best, might be even better
Leavin' n***as kneelin' on they right knee
Spike Lee couldn't paint a better picture
You small change, I'm blowin' out your brains, gettin' richer
Hit you with the MAC! (MAC)
Smack your bitch, n***a, what!?
You gettin' stuck! My trigger finger's itchy as a fuck!
Truck jewels (Jewels!), cruisin' in the Land, bumpin' "Cash Rules"
Last crew to want it caught a hundred tryna pass through
That's true! (So who the next to get it?)
T.S. — the best that did it
(Get it off your chest, kid, admit it, and it's...)

"Yeah! And you don't stop!
Twenty-shot Glock with the cop-killers, fill 'em to the top
Yeah! And you don't stop!
Joey cracks the rock, and Big Pun keeps the guns cocked
Yeah! And you don't stop!
We'll make it hot, n***a, what? Bring it, I blow your whole spot
Yeah! And you don't stop!
It's still 187 on an undercover cop" I shouted, banging my head in time with the beat. I was sure I'd be making Jonny back home proud if he could see me now.

It was in the middle of my jams when I spun around to face the door, where I realized I had an audience. Well, an audience of one, I supposed, since it was only Papi staring at me in wide-eyed... uh, excitement?

"I wanna dance, too!" Papi declared, already hopping into the room and swinging her wings around.

Laughing, I made space for her and happily joined in.

"Fuck the police, I squeeze first, make 'em eat dirt
Take 'em feet-first through the morgue, then lodge 'em in the deep earth
The street's cursed, the First Amendment's culturally biased
Supposed to supply us with rights
Tonight, I hold my rosaries tight as I can
I'm one man against the world
Just me and my girl — Black Pearl Latina, más fina, but keeps it real
You know the deal, we steal from the rich and keep it
Peep it, it's no secret, watch me and Joe go back and forth and freak it"

Papi was laughing uproariously, her cheeks flushed with delight as she swung joyfully, completely uncoordinated with the rhythm. Her flower headband swayed in her blue hair like a kaleidoscopic halo, creating an almost hypnotic pattern.

At the moment I recalled that the racial slurs were soon to be belted out in the song, I hurriedly moved to shield Papi's ears. Papi, still chortling and enjoying the dance, eagerly attempted to cover my ears. However, instead she hugged my neck and allowed me to swing her around while I danced.

The both of us grinning and laughing like maniacs, Papi and I danced and danced for no reason at all.