Yunlan had felt so uncomfortable calling Wei a mere friend, knowing very well that they were much more than that, but honestly, what could he say? He certainly couldn't refer to him as his boyfriend! On one hand, they had never talked about what they were; on the other, the most important one, it was his personal life and it wasn't his nature to volunteer private information to strangers.

It wasn't hiding. He was well past his teenage days when that kind of thing would have been difficult. If asked directly, he would have no reservations in answering honestly, but that nurse had been a complete stranger and private lives are called private for a reason.

He liked his job because he was the one asking the questions, never the one who got to answer. His life was his and to volunteer information was simply against his nature.

He was still uncomfortable, though, because he didn't know how Wei would take it. They didn't know each other so well, yet. Would Wei think that he was keeping a distance? That he was ashamed? That he didn't think they were anything more?

Shortly after the words had left his mouth, he inwardly cursed himself for being so stupid. He could have said that Wei was a consultant or something, keeping it professional without revealing unnecessary private details.

He had tried to apologise, worried that Wei might feel like there was nothing worth mentioning between them. Wei's reaction left him feeling very much relieved. Wei was ok with that, he didn't judge him for his poor choice of words, and Yunlan was immensely relieved and grateful, until he heard those words.

Is there anyone else?

That had hurt. He was not a cheater and Wei knew that, he had said that before, did Wei not believe him? He wasn't a liar either, and it always irked him terribly whenever his honesty was questioned. Did Wei think that he would have slept with him if he was already sleeping with someone else? It didn't matter to him that they hadn't discussed being a proper couple. To him, that would be cheating, no buts allowed.

All those things went through his head while he analysed the matter. He reviewed it in his mind from every angle and he slowly realised that to most people it would be considered cheating only if they were a couple. It didn't make a difference to him but maybe it did to Wei, and just like him Wei also wasn't sure of how to call what they had. Maybe Wei thought that he considered himself free to sleep with whoever he wanted to. After all, other than sleep together they had only always talked about work.

It made him wish for more clarity.

It was time to do something about it.
This person in front of him was indeed important, he couldn't risk ruining this chance.

They had never been on a date, they had always talked about his cases or about Wei's bizarre domestic situation. To be a proper couple they should be dating, right? So it was time to start.

He chose a good place, one of those that screamed of money. He didn't have much, but it was their first date and he was out to impress.

He held the door open for Wei to go first, like a proper gentleman, and he kept it open a couple of seconds more than necessary. He didn't know why but he had noticed Wei doing just that in more than one occasion. There were a lot of things about Wei that he found hard to understand, one more wasn't a big deal, so he did it anyway.

Wei seemed to appreciate it, though, and they held hands.

I like you so much.

Wei's voice was so sexy he shivered.
How could he respond to that, they were not alone and he didn't recover fast enough to say it back before the waitress walked them to their table.

He thought the words in his head, but for once his mouth remained shut. All the time he spoke before thinking, and for once that it might have been a good thing he couldn't utter a single word.

They sat down and he kept thinking about those words. Wei began talking but Yunlan felt a pang inside, he didn't want to talk about work now. It was still early, he should have a quick lunch and head straight back, but right now he didn't want to.

He wanted to make things clear, let Wei understand that he was in it for real.

"No talking about work. This is a date."

It came out like an order, not exactly the way he wanted to say it. Wei was staring at him with his mouth open and he tried to make things better offering a smile.

When he saw Wei smile back he almost melted on that chair. He knew he liked him, there was no doubt in his mind about that, but he also knew that none of that showed on his face. One of the many reasons people always said he was cold. Was it his fault if he didn't carry his heart on his sleeve?

He let Wei order for both because he couldn't get his mind to work enough to understand what he should say. Lost in his thoughts, he ate whatever was in front of him, trying to think of something to say.

It was useless, maybe this date idea had been a mistake. Wei was probably waiting for him to make conversation, to talk about themselves or their feelings, but he wasn't like that and he could only think that he wanted to be alone with him. That was the only thing filling his brain, so he went for it.

"This place is also a hotel. We could get a room... I mean, if you want..."

Why was it so difficult to speak? He had never been embarrassed before, he had had both adventures and relationships, and he never had trouble before in pursuing what he wanted.

Did I ever really care about anyone before? He wondered. The answer was yes. Of course he had cared or he wouldn't have accepted to be in a relationship, but years go by quickly, too quickly sometimes, and he wished for something stable, for someone who wouldn't go away.

He had been told that it was his fault if his past relationships had died, but what were they expecting of him? He was always honest, faithful, not once had he broken a promise. He wasn't the most affectionate, but they chose him. Was it his fault if they asked him out because he was handsome but broke it up when they didn't like his personality?

It wasn't a constructed attitude, it was his deepest nature. Would Wei understand that?

"Don't you have to go back?" Wei asked.

"I want to be alone with you," he replied. Not really an answer, but the absolute truth nonetheless. Maybe once they were alone he could make him understand.

"How do you know this is a hotel? I didn't see any hotel sign outside."

Yunlan didn't question Wei's curiosity, simply relieved to be able to talk about something, anything.

"It started out as a restaurant, then they added to it a small building that was right next to it. They renovated it completely and now they rent rooms by the hour."

He felt Wei's eyes on him and understanding washed over him. He cursed his stupidity.

"I've been here before," he admitted at last. It shouldn't be awkward, at his age there was nothing strange at having past relationships, but he still felt like he had to explain himself.

"But I never took anyone here," he added when Wei didn't take his eyes off him. It was true, he was always invited, he never had to go through the trouble of courting anyone, if that was even a word nowadays.

"I'd love to." Wei's voice was steady, even sweet, but there was something in his eyes that he couldn't decipher.

Yunlan wasn't sure of what he was expecting or why he had been feeling so nervous before, but those words let relief course through his entire being.  They finished eating rather quickly, Wei didn't even order a dessert.

They approached the reception and asked for a room. Another woman showed them a pamphlet with their selection of rooms and the respective prices. Wei took it and turned to Yunlan.

"Which one should we choose?" Wei didn't even look at it.

The woman was watching them so Yunlan put on a pretence of confidence. He was good at that.

"This one has a view of the street, it's quite noisy; this one is above the kitchen; this one is nice, although a bit smaller; this one, I've never seen it..."

Wei snatched it from his fingers and turned to the woman pointing at the last room he had checked.

"We'll take this one."

After signing up and taking the keys, they were directed to the elevator. It was a short ride, and they didn't exchange a word.

As soon as he entered, Yunlan had time to see the wood-covered walls, the faint lights and the white bedding before Wei turned him around and kissed him fiercely.

Before losing his senses completely, Yunlan pulled back.

"Wait," he said, putting his hands on Wei's arms. "I wanted to tell you something first, now that we are alone."

Wei stood still, waiting for him to speak.

"I like you too," he managed after a few seconds of silence. "A lot. I wanted you to know that. I do have... feelings for you." Not the most romantic speech, he had to admit, but it was all he could do. It seemed so easy when Wei said it, but it almost ripped him apart.

It seemed enough for Wei though, because his eyes went darker. He put both hands on Yunlan's face and kissed him again. This time, Yunlan's arms wrapped around him and he kissed back.

It wasn't their first time, but this was different. To Yunlan, it felt incredibly different. He felt exposed, vulnerable. He had known people swearing on their love and promising a forever that was alluring but that never lasted. He had spoken just a handful of words and already felt broken apart. He didn't regret them, he just wished it could be as easy for him as it was for them.

Every piece of clothing that was discarded was now followed by reverent touches and longing kisses. Wei's hands never left him for a second, and the words I want you kept escaping Wei's lips over and over again. Soon Yunlan was unable to recall his own name, only knowing Wei's.

They became so lost in each other that time didn't exist anymore, and when they finally exited that room, four hours had passed.