The 'metoo' campaign has been gaining lots of popularity these days. But few might know that it was started 10 years back in New York. It is all about girls who have faced sexual harassment at some point in their lives. This campaign has got the support of many famous personalities all across the world. But like every other thing in this universe, this movement too has some supporters and some opponents.

I recently had an argument on this topic with one of my friends. His point was that writing on Facebook and other such social media sites won't help you solve the problem. He said why not talk to your parents about it and go to the police?

You think it's that easy? Yes, writing on Facebook won't solve the entire problem. Agreed that we should go to our parents or to the police if it happens with us. But, I wish, I really wish, it were that simple. Going to the police is rarely of any help. And about talking to our parents, then have you forgotten the society we live in? The culture here is such that something so natural as menstruation cycle, better known as periods, is also considered taboo. Come on, people! We are taught about menstruation in 9th standard in our biology class but we still don't discuss it with the male members of our families even. And in such a society you expect us to comfortably discuss about when and how we were harassed sexually, with our parents?

And even if we do want to tell our parents about it, it takes a lot of guts to tell anyone about such an incident. Those who haven't faced it might not think much of it but those who have faced it would know. And mind you, I am not talking about things like staring or passing comments.

You would never know that feeling of fear, of anxiety that one goes through when someone touches you against your will, unless you yourself go through it. Trust me, I would never want anyone to go through it. But, as much as people might say that they understand, one really wouldn't know without facing it.

And talking about that incident is equally hard. It is as if we are reliving that incident. A few weeks back, I had told one of my friends about the first ever incident that had happened with me. She is only the 3rd person ever with whom I have discussed that incident. Even though I thought that it doesn't affect me anymore and that I am over that incident, but that day after telling her about it, I realised that I'm not. I still remember it very well, as if it happened just now. Even as I'm writing this minus the actual details, I'm well aware of the fast pace of my heartbeats and the feeling of anxiety building up in me.

Recalling the incident brings with itself the same feelings of fear and anxiety as it had that night 6-7 years ago. Yes, it had happened years ago when I was just 13 and even after so many years, I still haven't been able to forget that incident. That day after telling my friend about it, it took me a few hours before going back to normal. How do you then expect me to tell about it to anyone.

How am I supposed to explain to anyone that why after that day I have started hating crowded places so much. Why had I almost confined myself to school and home for two years after that day. Why does any stranger's touch make me so uncomfortable, be it a girl or a boy. Why do I hate that line, 'Kisi ko pata nahi chalega(Nobody would come to know)' so much after it. On top of that, even after all these years, I haven't been able to get over that one incident.

Those who have been reading this book from before might be knowing about the twitter incident that had happened with me. I had mentioned it in the chapter 'No means no'. Even that incident had scared me a lot. But it didn't affect me as much as the earlier incident did.

Talking about cases where the harassment is committed by family members themselves, it is even more difficult to tell our parents about it. Even if our parents know about it, in most cases nothing much can be done about it. Family ties and social status is at stake and most families decide to keep quiet rather than do anything about it. When the person is in your family itself, it becomes even more difficult because you have to face him every now and then at family gatherings or normal visits.

How do I tell my parents that why I don't like the visits of that one person to our home? Why for the entire time he is in front of me, my mood is spoiled. My mother knows that I hate him but she doesn't know the exact reason. And I know that even my mother is not exactly fond of him, but even I don't know the exact reason. The most that I can do in this situation is make him stop visiting my house, which may lead to strained relations between our families. But I can't stop him from coming to the family functions. He would still very much be there.

And why can't I go to the police you ask? Because he hasn't actually done anything which could be said to come under sexual harassment. His actions sure make me uncomfortable, but, you know, sometimes just the touch is enough to tell you about the intentions of the person. The last time I had met him, he had his hand on my shoulder, which in itself is not wrong but was enough to make me uncomfortable. Trust me, your touch tells us a lot about your intentions.

Some people when faced with questions regarding sexual harassment or rape give the counter argument that not all men are the same. To them, the only thing that I would like to say is that, yes we know that everybody is not the same. That's not even the point. We aren't talking about those people who aren't like that. We are talking about those who are and who commit such acts. There's a difference you see. Giving this statement as a counter argument simply seems as an attempt to divert the point of discussion.

All that I wanted to say by writing this is that maybe writing about the incidents that happened with us on social media won't make much difference. But it takes a lot to tell others about it, specially on such a public platform. If you can't appreciate the efforts taken by all those girls then, at least don't insult them by saying something against it. They are already making a lot of effort speaking up about it on a social media platform, don't make them feel small by telling them to 'go and tell your parents or the police about it'.

Like I always say, these are my views. You don't necessarily have to agree with it but you are free to present your views in the comments section of this chapter(or inline comments, as per your wish). Vote, comment and let me know if you liked this chapter. You can also inbox me. And if you feel like sharing your personal experience, then just know that I'm right here.