Tamica's P.O.V

Why me? What wrong have I done what had I done to deserve this? Why he led me on like that? Was I paying for a sin I've committed? No Tamica you were just a stupid little girl with a crush I think to myself as I look at myself through the mirror. When Rihanna said "Whatever it is it feels like its laughing at me through a glass of a two sided mirror" I never thought I would ever be in that situation everytime I looked at myself my self esteem dropped down, all I ever did was want to cry I couldn't even talk to mom about it at home the only therapy I got was from my friends at school especially Simóne she was the best help I got at school she dealt with my moods, when I cried randomly even during lessons she'd just come over my side just to assure me everything would be fine. Everyone else tried also but her effort was overwhelming all the rest did was say sorry, you'll be fine, he didn't deserve,  you're too pretty for those tears and that you'll move on as if that helped.

Some time after everyone had forgotten my pathetic and sad moments I was happy but people low-key called me psycho even the asshole himself, he was so awful even after everything he still lied and made it seem like I imagined everything that happened from 2017 like as if he never told me he liked me and how he led me on. He had no remorse he just watched me break and laughed about it lucky me I thought, he never apologized until months after and even when he did it was through a song and I wasn't even the first girl he did this too. No lie I still loved him, I still hope that Tyson will realise he's wrong but he never he just hung out with that whore in my face I hated him from then on.

It's around July 2018 now and surprisingly I told myself fuck it and battled Whatever was wrong with me but by bit Simóne helped me even more and I started to realise why...She had gone through the same heartbreaking experience I did I was so hurt she told me in tears and it just broke my I busted thinking who the fuck these niggas think they are but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction of being depressed about the heartbreak no more so I did the the thing I forbade myself to do yes I talked to his sorry ass making him think I don't care anymore I felt like once it happens then I'd heal faster, you know it was great until bam has dating the whore's cousin, I hated him again everything came back...the memories oh lord the memories I just couldn't anymore I stopped talking to him and he noticed and he starting talking to Simóne just to get to me and try to get me to talk to him as if I needed him. "He'll never change he just won't" I yelled at Simóne and she tells me to calm down and facing him will be good and he might finally leave her alone because she's exhausted. I didn't blame her she took care of me like I was some big, sad, pathetic baby okay that's exactly what I was but the point is, is that I refused I just couldn't. "I'm sorry" I tell her I just can't after everything that's happened I can't of course I didn't want to be with him no more but big he still decided to disrespect me and date that whore's cousin disgusting.

What was I really expecting here I mean all my exes were trash, are trash and will be trash. They deserve to only be with trash, I never had luck with guys anyways as if someone like him would've actually wanted someone like me, they all never do each and everyone of them knew about my past relationships but still decided to hurt me. Want to know what's funny is that they promised they'd be different" I'm so stupid Haha" I thought to myself well that's life for me. I wonder whose is this misfortunate no one is safe never trust a guy I mean even Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce I'm talking about Queen B she's gorgeous, rich and talented, a nigga could have everything he needs from a woman but still hurt her.

What is wrong with me for thinking Tyson was different...I'm just tired honestly.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

I know it's been a minute, I hope ya'll like it I actually almost cried when I began writing lmao I hated my life. Guess who's still alone in June 2019😊me, me and me, but I feel like it's a good thing now yes sometimes it gets really lonely but yeah I'll still have no one lol. And it's cuzz I never learned other mistakes came along but I learned something new but I'm probably going to flop again wouldn't be surprised even.🤦‍♀️

For late comers the book is about the last two years (2017 & 2018). I'm close to finishing the book.

Follow me on Instagram @that_brokeen_child

Thank you

Remember to always search for happiness but not in the places that deprived you of it, always try to help someone who needs your emotional support and strength, surround yourself with good people and learn from your mistakes.

-Tee♡