CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE:
TAKE MY HAND
(episode nine + ten: trapped + the coastal venture | trigger warning: mentions of body image)

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THE SUN WAS ONLY just beginning to rise over the docks, and yet Haven felt like she was steadily approaching a hurricane. There were no other cars around; it was just the twinkie, the open road and, of course, the car holding Sarah captive. John B kept on Rose's tail the whole drive there, refusing to retreat no matter how many times the panicked woman tried to detour. They hadn't heard anything from Pope or Arden, or even Kie, but Haven frankly wasn't concerned. Not once had she let go of JJ's hand, not until John B skidded to a stop just outside the dock's guarded gates and JJ frantically crawled into the passenger seat.

"Okay," she said as she stuck her head between the seats. "What's the game plan?" Neither of them answered. "We do have a game plan... right?" The silence was deafening as both boys winced. "Well, then, we're gonna die."

"Actually," JJ grinned suddenly, eyes locked on the rear-view mirror. "I think we have got something."

Haven peered over her shoulder then, frowning when she only saw a large red truck rumbling down the road behind them. JJ was quick to throw himself out of the van, John B following and leaving Haven no choice but to join them. They jogged after the truck, using it as coverage to sneak past the security guard and into the bustling dock. Their jog became a full-out sprint then, and by the time they reached the protection of a large yellow crane and a bunch of shipping containers, Haven was thoroughly out of breath.

"You know, when I asked what the game plan was," she got out between gasps. "I didn't think we'd be running a marathon."

JJ began to snicker before he spotted something over John B's shoulder and froze. "Uh, guys," he pointed to a towering ship waiting to be lowered into the water. Haven caught the name Coastal Venture printed across the chipping navy paint and frowned at the familiarity of it. "I know that ship. My dad did legs on her last Summer. It's a total tramp steamer. I worked on her in port."

While John B just nodded, taking the information in, Haven blinked in confusion. "Hey, J, you mind dumbing that down for someone who doesn't speak boat?"

"Never mind that," John B interrupted. "I see Rafe."

While the three of them were distracted, Rafe had parked his truck behind Rose's car, which was already sitting opposite the floating ship. Several of the dock workers, who were most likely promised a cut of the gold in exchange for silence, were helping to guide Pope's cross out of the truck, but neither Pope nor Arden and Logan were anywhere to be seen.

For a heart-stopping moment, Haven feared the worst.

And from the sounds of it, so did JJ.

"Where's Arden and Lo?" the blonde boy murmured, fear creeping in. If it wasn't for Haven's hands finding his again, and John B's own hand resting on his shoulder, JJ would have torn his hair out at the roots in pure terror. Had Rafe hurt them? Or worse? Had JJ really lost both of them so quickly? "Why aren't they with him? They should be with him."

From the corner of her eye, Haven spied Rose and Wheezie helping Sarah out of their car, but she was just as quickly distracted by the sound of three pairs of feet running up behind them. Haven was quick to spin around, John B and JJ frowning at the action and sharing a panicked yelp at the sudden appearance of Kie and Pope with Arden clutching Logan between them.

"Howdy," Kie greeted, then raised a brow when both boys heaved sighs of relief.

"Dude, I was about to stab your eyes out," JJ gasped before realisation hit him. He let out another gasp, the weight of the world seemingly falling from his shoulders as he rushed towards Arden and Logan. "Oh, my god, Ard. You have no idea how worried I was about you. Are you okay? Is Lo hurt? How the fuck did you end up with Rafe Cameron?"

Arden, pale-faced and subdued, merely sunk into JJ's arms and sniffled. It was a moment of weakness, one Haven wasn't even sure was real when Arden pulled away a second later and held her head high, not a single tear in sight. "It's a long story," she said. "One I need to tell you in private."

"Now?" John B echoed in disbelief. He gestured towards the Coastal Venture with a pointed glower. "Not sure if you've noticed, but we're kind of on a time crunch, Ard."

"We won't be a minute," she said, curt and to the point. Her tone surprised John B, who took a step back and turned to look at Haven like she would somehow know just what Arden was thinking. When she shrugged and made a 'how the fuck am I meant to know?' face at him, he sighed and nodded, the four of them watching the fractured family creep behind one of the nearby shipping containers.

"Okay, what happened to her?" John B rounded on Pope the second Arden was out of earshot. Haven wanted to know, too. Kie's lips were set in a grim line, and Pope looked exhausted with mud all over him and dried blood on his lips. "And to you?"

Pope mulled over his response for a while, then eventually said, "Rafe, round three."

"Are you freaking serious?" Haven gasped, taking a step closer to observe the obvious marks forming on his face. "Please tell me he came out worse than you."

Pope hesitated, to which Haven and John B shared a simultaneous groan. "Look, it was a tie," Pope insisted, though he was more concerned about the giant box being lifted onto the ship than he was their disappointment. "Is that the cross?"

"Yes," a voice spat out from behind them.

For what felt like the billionth time in the past twenty-four hours, Haven swore her heart stopped. All of them, including Pope and Kie this time, nearly jumped sky high when they spun around to find JJ marching back towards them with red-rimmed eyes, his jaw locked tight, and a piece of paper clutched firmly in his fist.

"Where's Arden?" Pope asked, swallowing thickly when he, like Haven, spied the piece of paper that JJ was quick to shove into his jacket pocket.

The Maybank boy was quiet for an instant, head hung low. Haven took the opportunity to look back over at the shipping container. She only managed to catch a glimpse of Arden Kim hesitating at the gate before she tightened her grip on her daughter, pressed a kiss to the baby girl's head, then turned her back on them and walked away.

"JJ, where is she?" Pope repeated with an edge of panic forming.

Haven cleared her throat before pointing towards the gate. "I think she's leaving."

"Why?" John B exclaimed, rounding on JJ when he remained silent. "JJ?"

"She's done," he snapped, then shrugged like he was merely discussing the weather. With four pairs of incredulous eyes on him, he slowly began to crack. "Look, she's out the G-game, okay? She's not coming with us, so just leave it."

But it was so much more than that, and everyone knew it. Arden had chosen herself. She'd chosen to be a mother before a pogue. And as much as it hurt, Haven respected it ― no, she understood it in a way that none of the others really seemed to, even when they nodded and said nothing else about it. Pope's eyes were full of disappointment, and something else that Haven wasn't sure she'd ever be ready to pick apart. John B looked ready to chase after Arden would it not have blown their cover. Kie was cool, a familiar expression, while JJ was stuck in his own spiralling thoughts. Haven squeezed his arm once, smiled thinly, then set her sights back on the ship that Sarah had disappeared onto.

"John B was right before," she said, which prompted them all to look at her. "We're running out of time. We have to get on that boat if we have any chance of saving Sarah and getting the cross back."

"Well, first we've gotta get past the goon squad," JJ muttered, shielding his glassy eyes to gesture at the series of workers that surrounded them.

They were in way over their heads. This wasn't just a hunt for gold anymore. It hadn't been for a long time. Looking back on it, Haven was almost amused by just how anxious she used to be over the simpler things; hiding in the chicken coop while the Chateau was raided, breaking into Mrs Crain's house, getting chased on the marsh by hit-men. It was crazy to think that that was nothing in comparison to the present, to sneaking onto a boat that might never bring them back home.

"Let's move," John B declared as he reached for Haven's hand to bring her along with him. They barely made it a step before Pope broke away from the group. "Whoa, Pope, what're you doing?"

"I have an idea. Just trust me."

"Trust you?" Haven scoffed, rolling her eyes when he tried to turn away again. "Do you not see the giant ship about to leave us behind?"

"Just trust me," Pope repeated, this time with more force in his voice. "I'll meet up with you guys, okay? Now go."

"Fuck," Haven cursed, momentarily releasing John B's hand to tug at her hair. It was an action so much like JJ, weighed down by pure fear. "Where does he think we're gonna go? There's people everywhere."

Her answer came just a moment later, when an explosion rattled the earth between them sending flames sky high. Instinctively, the pogues ducked to the ground, frozen in shock at the heavy plumes of smoke quickly rising above freshly blown up gas cylinders. As workers screamed and rushed to put out the quickly spreading blaze, Pope made his way back to the others with a wide, frenzied expression.

"Pope, what was that?" John B demanded, one arm falling back from where he'd dived to shield Haven.

"Look," Pope retorted right as yet another oblivious group sprinted past them. "That container there is going on the ship. We can get in that way. Are you with me?"

A grin creeped onto John B's face. "Pope, you're a genius," he exclaimed. "Alright. Let's go."

Haven hung back between JJ and Kie as Pope and John B lead the way. The container in question was attached to a truck, the back doors left open in the chaos of Pope's admittedly brilliant distraction. The inside was crammed with boxes and other junk, but it was the perfect spot for them to hide ― if not for one small problem; the only way out was the way in, and there was no guarantee they'd have another explosion to use as a distraction on the boat.

Though knowing their luck, the whole thing would go up with them on it.

"Wait. Whoa. Did you think this through?" JJ exclaimed, wide eyes glancing at Haven and back to where Pope was helping John B into the back of the container. "That's a trap right there. We can't get out once we get in."

"I know," Pope grumbled, frustrated, pinching the bridge of his nose when John B hopped back down to grip JJ's shoulders.

"You guys don't have to come," he insisted, holding Haven's gaze behind JJ. There was hope in his look, but not unrealistic. He knew what he was asking of them, of her. "You know that, right?"

"This is our fight," Pope added with a nod between himself and John B. With that, he helped him back up again, leaving Haven, JJ and Kie with the final decision.

"Nothing to lose?" JJ said and turned to the girls.

"Nothing to lose," Kie echoed back, allowing Pope to help her up next.

It was now down to Haven. JJ turned to her, half expecting her to follow after Arden, but he was surprised to find her smiling. "I don't know about nothing," she said. "But you're stupid if you think I'm leaving you behind."

Grinning, JJ hopped up inside the truck and dragged Haven on after him. Together, the two of them followed the others to the opposite end of the container, dodging and weaving around boxes until they were convinced they were far enough back to escape discovery. It wasn't a very comfortable situation. Kie and Haven were crammed between two towers of boxes with John B on the other side of them, and Pope and JJ curled up opposite. 

Haven barely had a second to breathe, to take in how fucking crazy this was, before people returned to shut the doors. With bated breath, the pogues waited, slinking further into the shadows as one of the men paused to shine a flashlight between a few of the boxes. When nothing was said and the doors were then slammed shut, reality slowly began to sink in.

"Oh, my god," Haven murmured, leaning her back against the wall. "This is fucking insane."

"Well, it's too late to back out now," Kie whispered just as the engine of the truck rumbled and they set off down the road.

They drove for a few minutes, voices no higher than a whisper in fear that the driver would somehow hear them over the hum of his radio. They didn't dare speak when the truck stopped again ― well, apart from JJ, because of course it was him .

"We've gotta be on the dock now," he insisted, only to be frantically hushed by a keenly listening John B.

There were no voices, no sounds of life except their faint breaths and a series of metallic clanks above them. Then, before they knew it, the world was quite literally shifting out of place.

"What the fuck?" Haven gasped. She would've smacked her head against a box if it wasn't for Kie quickly grabbing her arm. The two girls clung to a metal chain that hung from the roof, the boys battening down opposite them when the container began to swing.

Not a moment too soon, they met solid ground again. Haven winced as her whole body jolted with the movement. She continued to cling onto the chain and Kie, paranoid that they'd somehow move again.

"I think we're good," JJ said, at full volume, and was quickly hushed again by all of them.

It just had to be JJ who got them caught. Really, it was a miracle it hadn't happened sooner. For a tense minute, everything seemed okay, then John B nearly got caught peeking out the air vent as a hand smacked down on the open slats.

"What is it?" JJ hissed, then quickly sunk back when Haven rounded on him with a furious glint in her eyes.

"Would you shut up?" she spat just as the shadow of a face appeared over the vent. She clenched her eyes shut, convinced shit was about to hit the fan when a voice was heard outside asking, "You see anything?"

Perhaps Arden had the right idea to leave. This was more than just crazy or insane, this was completely ludicrous. They had no plan beyond getting on the boat, and somehow they wanted to escape with a giant golden cross and the freaking apple of Ward Cameron's eye. It was next to impossible, but somehow, they had managed to escape the first hurdle.

"Nah, nothing." Haven's eyes shot open at the confident denial.

And that was that.

Or so they thought.

"Just make sure it's locked," they heard the other man say, and a moment later, a series of clicks came from the door followed by two retreating sets of footsteps.

"Did they just..."

JJ cut Haven off with a glower at John B. "Nice job, JB," he exclaimed as the other boy hung his head in his hands and groaned. "You know these things lock from the outside, right?"

"I was just trying to get us on the boat, JJ," he defended. "I wasn't thinking that far ahead."

"Yeah, well, now we're stuck in here like rats!"

"JJ, just stop for a second," Haven grumbled and squeezed her eyes shut. "It's done now, there's no point arguing about it."

"Gee, thanks for the input, Mrs Routledge." JJ turned his glare on her next. "Doesn't change the fact we're trapped in here, in this death cage."

"Okay, JJ, you're really not helping," Pope intervened when it became clear that Haven and John B were too busy blushing over the Mrs Routledge comment to retort.

JJ rolled his eyes. "You don't have a lot of room to talk right now, Pope. You said you had a plan but what happened to thinking ahead?"

"I find your lack of self-knowledge disturbing."

"Well, last I checked, you literally shot an oil container with the gat. Remember that?"

Ever since JJ started his rant, Haven's eyes had been focused on Kie's face. She went through the same emotions of panic as JJ, shrugging off her jacket when the heat began to be a bit too much, before eventually settling on that familiar fed up look Kiara Carerra always seemed to get whenever JJ started losing his cool. "Oh, my god, would you shut up!" she hissed, forcing the arguing boys apart. "Freaking shut up and pull it together!"

"Well said, Kie," Haven muttered when everyone fell silent. She pushed herself to her feet, taking a hair tie off her wrist to tug gather hair off her sweat-slick neck. "Now can we start looking for a way out before those dudes come back?"

"Brilliant idea, Haven," Kie nodded and shoved past an affronted JJ to take a look at the rest of the room. "The sooner we get out of here, the better."

The boys were quiet for a while, leaving it to Haven and Kie much to their annoyance. There was still an awkward tension between them, and as much as it pained Haven to admit it, there probably always would be. But this was the closest Kie had let her since the Summer, and Haven took what she could get as the two of them rifled through boxes and messed with the doors just on the off chance that they could somehow pick the lock.

Forever and then some seemed to pass before the boys made any sound at all.

"Hey, Pope, how do you kill a snake?" Haven heard JJ ask. She spun around incredulously, watching the same frustrated expression appear in Pope's own eyes.

"You go for the head," he muttered, to which JJ grinned in triumph.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "But the head, in this instance, is the bridge. To take the bridge, we need maximum firepower, and I happen to know that there's an armoury on this ship in case of pirate attacks."

"What!?" four voices echoed in disbelief.

Sometimes, Haven really did have to question if she and JJ were related by blood. Not all the time, but there were a few moments when she stopped and thought 'how on earth did this boy make it so long without me?'

"Now, if we take that, and I'm not just talking pistols―"

"Okay, you've officially lost me," Haven shook her head.

"Yeah, me too," Kie grimaced. "Killing everybody here is not a plan."

"Alright, well, we lost them..." he scoffed. "But I'm serious, if we get to the armoury..."

Haven forced herself to tune out JJ's voice again, turning back to the box she'd just been searching through. Barely a second passed before Kie nudged against her side, catching Haven's eyes with the sparks of an idea slowly creeping onto her face.

"I think I have something," she said, though none of the boys seemed to hear her over their own voices.

Haven scoffed. "The idiots are busy. Tell me what you've got."

"How about I just show you?"

Before Haven could question what she meant, Kie closed the box Haven had been looking through and propped it up on one of the towers of junk behind them. In the now empty space was a window of some sort covered by the same slats that were around the air vent. Honestly, to Haven, it wasn't much bigger than the vent itself, but Kie's eyes were wide and hopeful as she spun around to face the others.

"Guys!" she exclaimed over their whisper-shouts.

"Look," John B rounded on JJ again. "They've got something."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," JJ rolled his eyes, voice thick with sarcasm.

Slowly but surely, that same hope trickled through the rest of the group. It wasn't much, but it was a start. At least it would get them ― well, most of them ― out of the container and onto the ship. From there... well, Haven supposed they were winging it.

"We can fit through that, yeah?" Kie checked with John B.

"Hell yeah," he nodded, a grin creeping onto his lips. "Nice one, Kie, Havey."

"How do we open it?" Pope asked, to which JJ made a choking sound that Haven assumed was excitement and quickly searched through his short pockets for something.

"Aha! What was that about a swiss army knife not coming in handy?" he crowed at them while waving the small weapon in their faces.

He was quick to get to work on unhooking the vent, but Haven couldn't help feeling anxious about it.

It was something that none of the pogues would really understand, because they hadn't experienced the feeling for themselves. Haven went about her life with the term 'plus sized' attached to her everywhere she went. She used to think it was something terrible. Really, it was only in the past few weeks that she'd genuinely gotten comfortable in her own skin ― well, enough that her mind didn't linger on the little things so much, like 'would that shirt really fit her?' or, in this case, 'how the fuck am I meant to fit my thighs through a tiny fucking window?' It made Haven feel impossibly pathetic, an insecurity that festered in her chest, growing and growing until she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Uh, guys, just one problem," she muttered, almost immediately shrinking under the weight of their stare. "I don't know if you've noticed, but shipping container windows... aren't exactly, uh... what's the word... conscious of everyone's body type..."

"Oh."

They might as well have punched her in the face. Anything would've hurt less than the silence that followed.

It was JJ who spoke first. She half-expected him to say something dumb, but when he merely winked at her and got back to work, she frowned. "I'm sure I can find a way to get you out of here, Havey-Wavey. Just have some faith in me."

"And what are you going to do?" Kie scoffed, folding her arms defensively.

JJ shot her an almost offended glare. "I'll have you know that I'm excellent at picking locks."

"Oh, yeah, like that won't alarm those guys when they come back and find the door magically open?"

"I can always lock it again. Have you never heard of a padlock, Kie?" he grumbled before firmly returning his attention back to the window. "Now, back to the plan! We raid the armoury, get weapons, roll back here and plot the next move. The armoury is on the third deck, near the laundry room. Alright, everyone clear? Let's roll―"

"Actually, JJ, hold up," Pope grabbed his arm before he could properly remove the window covering. "I don't think we should all go out there. It's too risky."

"Uh, why?" JJ frowned.

John B, Pope and Kie exchanged a pointed look. "Okay, I've gotta be honest," John B let out a sigh when both Pope and Kie nudged him forward. "I think you should stay here."

"...What?"

"Well, I'm going to look for Sarah and Pope has the cross―"

"Yeah, let's go get it," JJ gestured between himself and Pope.

"Also, if you go out there, there's a hundred percent probability that you're going to do something stupid," John B added, to which JJ frowned and Haven smacked John B's arm and scowled. "What? I'm not lying."

"Okay, first of all, I think the correct terminology is 'ballsy,'" JJ huffed, voice beginning to rise the more his frustration piled up. "And second, I'm a field player―"

"Okay, look," John B hissed, his patience wearing thin. "If we go out there and we get in a bind, we need somebody to look out for us. Okay? That's what we need."

JJ, to give him credit, tried not to let his disappointment show. But Haven, as always, saw right through him. He wasn't meeting John B's eyes, and every movement he made seemed wired by the urge to lash out. He forcefully nudged John B away from him, muttering under his breath, "Alright, I get it, I'll be on the B Team."

Which, of course, just caused another argument.

Not that Haven blamed them; what was wrong with being on the B Team? She was going to be on the B Team...

"Look, there's no B Team," John B began at the same time as Kie scoffed, "Are you calling me the B Team? Haven the B Team? Did the B Team not just find our way out, or am I totally tripping?"

"JJ, just hang back," Pope pleaded, trying in vain to catch JJ's eyes only for the blonde boy to dodge him every time. "Hold down the fort."

"Well, you guys have fun," he muttered, shoulder smacking against Pope's. "It's your funeral. I'll be in here, on the bench... chilling..."

Haven sighed, instinctively moving to follow after him when he stormed to the back of the container and sat down on one of the boxes. She paused as Kie gave the boys their parting words, pressing a quick kiss to John B's lips before he could slip out the window.

"Hey," she murmured as Kie and Pope awkwardly pretended not to listen. "Stay safe, okay? Find Sarah and come back to me."

"I will," he promised before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her again. "Have fun with JJ."

With that, he pushed his head out the window, and Haven stepped aside to let Pope help him out. When she reached where JJ was sitting, she dropped down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder, relieved when he didn't shove her away.

"You know they weren't trying to hurt your feelings, right?" she murmured.

JJ sighed, allowing the tiniest bit of hurt to show on his face before he smothered it again, keeping it out of sight when Kie turned to look at them.

"Yeah, I know."

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A/N: Okay, so. Let's talk about the window scene. I just wanted to acknowledge that all of Haven's feelings are based on my own, and I wasn't trying to romanticise her insecurities or anything of the sort. In total honesty, I wasn't sure how to approach the scene. I know that personally, if I was in that situation, I wouldn't have fit through that window, and Haven's body image and insecurities have always been an important part of her story. Because of that, I didn't want to just erase the issue entirely, but rather I thought it would be a good way to point out how 'plus sized' people are affected on a day-to-day basis. If anyone has any issues with it, please do let me know, but I do hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading; not long now and this book will be finished :(