Dear all,

here is Part 2 of CH. 14 "Feeling closer - shredding closer" :)

I will not say much, just that you guys know how to make my Cat's and my day absolutely magic! Thank you!

I have attached a picture of Oleg --> Extremely handsome and sculptured model Vince Ramon, and I combined the chapter to a song from Eminem Ft. Gwen Stefani that perfectly fits this second part, which you will see...it will knock your breath out ;)

I dedicate this chapter to my friend and talented writer Shifting2wolf: sorry hon if I didn't reply you earlier: big hugs to you and you know I love your stories :)

Let me know how you will feel about this chapter: I'll be very curious to hear from you, dear all.

And now, just enjoy it!

"If you give me wings I will soar for you, even if this whole land sinks into the water. If you give me a sword I will fight for you, even if this whole sky shot through with your light" by Tite Kubo, Bleach Volume 34

OLEG POV:

Anatoly sat right in front of me, sipping a soda and looking around, probably ordering his thoughts and what to say first. As usual, he had ridden his motorbike in that reckless and instinctive way, which made me wonder how he had never crushed anywhere; yet, he knew how to take it and control it, and chasing him on his bike, looking at him riding it in such wild way, inflamed my adrenaline and desire. I had managed to take over him and my red Ducati reached the place first, clearly triggering his pride. For that reason he sat quiet sulking for a couple of minutes, but then it subsided and Anatoly admitted how he wished to beat me. We decided to go for another ride after dinner because it was evident he needed to vent out some steam and temper. After spending some other time looking around, he finally spoke.

"I actually have something else to tell you," he said taking another sip of soda. "Today something happened in school." My fist tightened instinctively and I had to command myself to keep calm in order to let him talk.

"What happened?" I solely asked, obviously sounding not impassive and neutral as I wished.

"I think someone has it against me, which of course it's not a wonder and nothing too strange all considered, but today it involved Viola." He rolled his left shoulder back and placed a hand on it. Sitting here in apparent composure cost me a great effort. I had a violent wish and need to find this person and personally talk to such rat. "I was helping for that stupid Halloween party and I'm the one hanging things on the ceiling when Adrian is not there; Jeez, Viola is too skinny and I am afraid she'll fly away, but today she climbed the damn ladder and someone must have tampered it or messed with it, because one leg gave in and it threw Viola on the floor." He looked angry and so was I. This was getting too far and it was surpassing the limits I had feared it would pass. "I caught her and she's fine, of course, that's not the problem. The issue here is that this shit is starting to piss me off very much," he groaned slamming the glass on the table. "I got it, I was a piece of crap before and I deserve it, but to almost hurt people around me...this pisses me off as fuck."

I said nothing for a moment because I had to collect my thoughts. Someone had reached the point to tamper a ladder in order to hurt him; if it was known that he was the one doing that kind of job, it meant it was someone around Anatoly and his friends in school. It was not a petty and laughable revenge any longer: it had become a serious and dangerous game. Someone had something against Anatoly for some reason I could not phantom and it was indispensable to discover who that vermin was and what the matter was.

"Vsyo kharashò?" Anatoly asked me, seeing I kept silent.

"No," I admitted. "Anatoly, this is dangerous and you do realize that some piece of filth in school has some twisted game against you? Do you realize that it can turn out very bad for you?"

"I didn't give much thought about it. Of course someone must have it against me, because, let's face it: some losers didn't take well my getting back on my feet. And Oleg, you freaking know how I behaved. Shit...if only I could turn back the time and delete everything," he growled exasperated, locking his fingers in his hair, and I very much desired to meet this person face to face and exchange a couple of words.

I took a long breath and levelled the anger mounting in my body, the cold rage coating my veins and making me want to find this rat. He was not only endangering Anatoly, but he was trying to undermine his new found balance and life; from the way he seemed to act so far, the lowlife had no intention of striking openly, showing their face. This person acted in the worst way possible: first with small and petty actions that showed a rather immature and pathetic behaviour, such as painting his locker, breaking the taillight, slashing the tires. It was the same person and there was not the smallest doubt about it.

It all aimed to the same pattern: undermine Anatoly's balance and make him feel guilty more than he already was about his past. Then, the vermin stepped over the limit, wanting to actually hurt him physically. Not in an open fight like with that pitiable Sergey Lebedev, who of course acted like a coward by wanting to fight in five or more against two, but at least showed his face. This one here was worse and this one worried me considerably.

It was someone gravitating around Anatoly and the deal was to look into people's background. I had to act and this time, I would not pass through Mr. Denisov: this time I would personally and directly deal with the matter.

"Do you have any idea who this person might be?" He shook his head and looked away. Something else was on his mind and, as Anatoly spoke, my hand almost crashed the glass it was holding.

"It's not all," he paused a moment and closed his eyes, for then talking very fast. "A guy from the gang came to see me in school and told me to stay sharp, because that lunatic of Caden might be back soon."

None of us talked for a long minute and I let go of the glass my hands was still holding, knowing it was better not to shatter it there. I could not describe what went through me in that specific moment, but my ire and rage reached a level never experienced before; I knew that the leader of the gang would soon be back, after that accident where a policeman and another drug dealer got shot. The issue was that I unfortunately could not tell when precisely it would be and this lack of certain information made me feel very limited and inadequate to protect Anatoly.

"Who did seek you out?" I asked. Anatoly's eyes darted at me quickly and then moved away even faster. It was not a good sign. "Anatoly, answer me: who did come to see you? I want his name." He kept more silent and I could feel my patience about to wear out. I had to know. "Anatoly," I said rather harshly and with more than intended authority in my voice. "I want his name."

"It was Vincent," he murmured between his teeth, still not looking at me. "I'm sure I don't need to explain you who the hell Vincent is, right?" His eyes kept staring somewhere far from my face and Anatoly remained with his head turned away from me.

Indeed, that was very correct. He did not need to explain me who that piece of trash was, even though I was fully aware he was the least worse in the entire gang. As he did not need to explain what happened between them in the past years and months.

He had quite a promiscuous behaviour and, while at first I was principally concerned about his health and the one of his family, I slowly came to realize I was concerned for more: I had become worried about Anatoly in general, seeing that once he would gain his senses back, he would regret almost all of his actions. From the way he avoided to look at me, it appeared crystal clear it was something that left him uncomfortable. It was something that left me not very impassive as I had always presumed. I was not resentful for his past and I did not feel jealousy while thinking about it. We all had our past. However, knowing that person had the guts to seek out Anatoly and had the guts to try to get back in his life, this was something that gave my questions the final answer.

I would never be able to leave Anatoly to another man. Never. Even if, from the way Anatoly looked uneasy in front of me, I doubted he wanted to get that individual back in his life. No, Anatoly had left it in his past.

"Do you mind it?" He asked me suddenly, now boring his eyes on me in an almost challenging way.

"What I should mind Anatoly?" I had an idea what he meant with that question, but I wanted to hear it from him open and straightforward.

"I'm freaking sure you know everything about him and I'm freaking sure you know what happened between us, right?" I kept my face as much void of emotions as possible. He nervously ran a hand in his hair. His eyes once more challenged mine. "What happened in the past and that he came back and shit like that," his voice sounded angry. I understood how he felt.

"Anatoly, it is in your past and I have no rights to judge. For a matter of fact, nobody has the right to judge," I answered, never letting go of his eyes. "I doubt you hold any lingering attachment or interest for that person."

He looked at me taken aback, expecting a different reaction, but I honestly felt no jealousy hissing in my ears and in my mind; it was now certain for me that I would never let this Vincent person or anybody else take him away. He gave me one of his most rare, timid and genuine smiles. It was something I held very precious in my heart.

"You're right, Oleg. I don't feel anything for him at all. The bastard tried to kiss me but I punched him, so he got my message." I was right about Anatoly: he had left it all in his past, and he knew how to take care of himself. "I'm just worried about him, because when they beat me up he was there yes, but he was there to somehow avoid them to kill me or send me on a wheelchair. They got him for that and shit...I feel bad about it."

This was not good.

"Stay away from him, Anatoly. He is still a member of the gang and it would be very dangerous to meet him."

"I need to know about that..." I interrupted him immediately. This was the real problem at stake and not the fact that a petty guy had showed up in front of Anatoly once more.

"Leave it to me. I will handle it," I said in a final tone, but it somehow inflamed his temper.

"What? What the fuck do you mean? I'm not letting you handle anything. I don't want to involve you in my shit, do you get it?"

"Anatoly," I only said.

"No, I am not getting more people involved and I don't want you to put yourself in danger for my shit, what the hel..."

"Anatoly, so why you talked to me about this?" He dropped silent at once, seeing it clearly for himself. "Because you are aware of the fact that you can rely on me and that I will not fail you, correct?" He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, trying to cool his temper down. "Am I correct or not?"

"Yeah," he admitted munching the words with evident difficulty, "I know I can count on you and I fucking know that keeping everything for myself doesn't lead anywhere good, I know it, I freaking know it." He paused a moment and I gave him time to process whatever he had to say. "But it's my crap and I am not talking to you to run away from it like some pathetic kid or coward, got it? I tell you this because I owe it to you and because, damn it, yes, I trust you and I don't want to fuck things up...I might need your help if shit happens."

Anatoly dropped his head and his shoulders moved up and down following the rhythm of his erratic breathing. I moved my hand on the back of his neck and, as expected, his eyes darted up at me immediately.

"Spasiba, Anatoly."

"For what?"

"For telling me and for trusting me. Do not worry about it now, because for now the situation is under control." He lingered in my touch and moved closer. "I promise you that nothing will happen to you and nothing will happen to your family." I meant every single word and I would hold on them even if it meant to take a bullet straight in my head.

ANATOLY POV:

"Spasiba, Anatoly," Oleg said with calm and collected voice.

"For what?" Why was he even thanking me? I once more made it a mess for everyone around me and he was thanking me?

"For telling me and for trusting me. Do not worry about it now, because for now the situation is under control." His hand tightened the grip on my neck and his touch lured me closer, wanting me to be closer to this man here. I could not believe that he might have remotely similar feelings that I held for him, but it didn't seem so impossible and dangerous anymore. This impassive and ice-made man here had been rather clear and straightforward. Damn...I really liked his touch and I was dying to touch him, too. "I promise you that nothing will happen to you and nothing will happen to your family."

As he spoke those words, it felt as if a very heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It's not like I was acting like a coward wanting to hide behind my mother's skirts, but the issue was that crap might get deeper than expected and the last thing I wanted was to involve people around me.

Oleg was the only person I could rely on in his mess.

Oleg was the only person that made me feel as nothing would actually ever happen.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, feeling suddenly tired.

"Do not say that, Anatoly."

I nodded at his words and then the memory of Vincent and what had been between us in the past surfaced in my mind once more, giving me a bitter taste in my mouth. I felt terrible before and it had been freaking hard to admit everything under the scrutinizing and commanding stare of Oleg. I felt like a gigantic piece of crap and I felt almost dirty and wrong in front of him. It sure was in my past, but one thing was to say it and one thing was to face it when in front of the person you loved. Fuck...I had really fallen hard for this impassive bastard. Did I really want to give him up? The answer burned fresh and bright in front of me.

"Anatoly." His voice pulled me back from my chaos and I knew it at once that he had read into me like an open book for kindergarten kids. "Let it go and do not think about it." I nodded once more and of course he understood my mind was still on that. "I do not care about it, Anatoly, because I know you left where it belongs: in your past."

I stared at him and at his dark eyes, which seemed to suck me inside of his soul. Who was I trying to kid? I had really fallen hard for Oleg and I was beginning to realize that perhaps there was nothing wrong with that and that perhaps I really wanted this man for myself only.

Screw the perhaps, for crying out loud.

I wanted this man here and it was impossible for me to forget him. I don't even know why I had tried to, given it now looked like a very idiotic and hopeless task.

There was no way in hell I could possibly leave this man in the hands of someone else.

My eyes moved on his lips and I swallowed down hard, sure as hell he had not missed it. I wanted to try how they felt and how they tasted...I so freaking wanted that and my body unconsciously lured closer to the object of my obsession, feeling his fingers deepening in my skin, making my heart race faster and faster, my blood suddenly firing up in my veins and igniting my blinding desire. Fuck...I wanted him in a way that felt insane. My hand had a mind of its own and grabbed his forearm, trying to pull him closer. It felt almost suffocating and my fingers dug harder in his muscles. I wanted Oleg...I freaking wanted him...But the loud and annoying laughter of people surrounding us in the sport-bar brought me back to sanity land and I pulled back. Freaking hell, I was really about to lose it big time.

No, this was not OK.

Not here in front of everyone. Not like this.

Not now, because I freaking knew it would throw things back.

I slowly realised that this man here was actually similar to me in many aspects and if he experienced my same emotions, I could only try to imagine how he must have felt, knowing his sense of duty and knowing his blind gratitude toward my parents. If Oleg only felt a hundredth of what I felt for him, I knew it gave him a very hard time. From the little I got to know him, this must have thrown his world in quite a fucked up chaos. There was no need to make it worse; there was no need to force each other. I finally understood what he meant when saying I would never lose him and I knew it was true; nonetheless, I was shit scared of creating a situation that would make it another living limbo for us. I had enough of that.

I stared back at his eyes and I gulped down seeing their expression and how they seemed to have become even darker than they already were. My breath felt almost drawn away from them and I swallowed once more.

If Oleg only felt a hundredth of what I felt for him?

I began to tempt myself in the dangerous path of thinking that he probably felt the same desire that possessed me and the idea was enough to make me feel drunk. His words took me back to this planet.

"Anatoly," he said with rather dark voice and I swallowed down more. Imagining how he would sound in bed was not a smart idea, so I shook my head trying to chase the picture away. Hopelessly, of course. I should have smacked my head somewhere, but that would have attracted too much attention I guess. "Anatoly, do not test it harder than this for now." I froze at his words and stared at him tongue-tied.

There was no need to ask him what he meant, for I understood him at once.

His self-control.

His restraint.

We fell into some electric silence that my skin seemed too tight on me, then we let go of each other and I sprawled back in the chair, eyeing the food in my plate. Exhaustion suddenly dropped on me and I found myself absolutely starving; I assumed that changing topic was with all chances the best idea in our situation, unless I wanted to do something extremely stupid and I sure as hell did not want that.

"I'm starving," I said out of the blue and I still felt his eyes resting on me in a way that fired my blood, but then they changed and a quick smile formed on his granitic face. I swear it: if any bimbo would have dared to walk over and try to start a conversation with him, granted I didn't miss the way girls eyed him, I was not sure I would react in any civil way.

"Actually, I also am very hungry," he replied to me and somehow we managed to finish our food.

Once we walked outside in the cold air of late October, my mind cleared up, and I rested a moment leaning on my babe to stare at the sky. We rode outside New York, to a place Oleg somehow knew and where we could race a bit with our babes; but for now I wanted a moment of quiet and peace, because all the crap we discussed at dinner drained my energy and because I realised how my past mistakes hadn't only brought me a crappy past, but also endangered my present time.

Oleg silently stood beside me, the engines of our motorbikes still warm, and his presence felt too damn good, too damn reassuring. I turned my face at him and, even though I knew I was not going to do anything reckless or stupid, I still felt like touching him and so I pushed myself up and took a step in front of him. My eyes challenged his and he simply kept there in his usual impassive way.

"I made an appointment to the tattoo salon where I went," he suddenly said, surprising me. My eyes searched for the tattoos on his neck, but it was rather dark.

"Which one did you make there?" I asked.

"A few, including the one that seems to attract your particular attention and curiosity," he said showing me that bastard-like and damn attractive smirk. Of course he had not missed it and how could he? I had not been very subtle in staring at his body, especially when naked.

"Where did you make the others?" I wanted to know more about this man.

"When I was in the Army," he calmly replied.

I went to ask more, but the aggressive and deafening roar of motorbikes cut my words and we both looked in the direction of the sound. As the motorbike leading the other four rode closer to us, a spider-like chill crossed my entire body and my mouth went suddenly completely dry; my heart would have probably stopped there, if it weren't for Oleg's presence right beside me. As he assessed the bikes approaching us, he pushed himself up and rested the helmet on the handle of his beauty. His shoulders seemed to grow somehow bigger and without noticing it at first, he had placed himself between me and the five Choppers now slowing down and circling us.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... How had they known I was here? Had they followed us? My fists curled up and I felt ready to tear their throats if they would have messed around. They circled more around us and I went to step forward, wanting to get over with this shit, but Oleg froze me on the spot.

"Do not move a muscle, understood?" He ordered without bothering to sound less harsh and authoritative. I went to counter debate, because there was no way I would hide behind him, but his hard look shut me up. "Do not move." His eyes had the same petrifying expression of cold and repressed wild rage that I already saw on him. I gulped down and then cursed myself. It was my fault if we were in this cursed situation.

As the main Chopper had before ridden to us, showing the sneering face of the rider, I knew we were in deep shit; my blood stopped running in my veins and for a moment, my mind blanked not able to properly think. There paraded Taylor the Notorious, the leader's right hand of a rival gang that always fought with my gang for the turf and to get better deals. They hated my guts and they had probably spotted me riding here, recognizing my black babe. I was in real deep crap and this time the sharks smelled the blood and went for my carcass.

Fuck.

I glanced at Oleg and immediately felt a gigantic moron and coward: there was no way I would have stayed behind him. As the bikes stopped going in circles around us, slowly coming to a halt in front of us, I moved in front of him and I didn't miss the angry growl he gave me, snatching my arm.

No.

He was not going to get involved in my shit.

"Anatoly from the Demons White Beasts," mocked me the ass on the golden and black Chopper, slowly getting up from his motorbike.

"I left the gang long time ago and got it for it. What do you want from me? What the hell are you doing here?"

The bastard didn't reply to me immediately, but widened his eyes for a fraction of a moment seeing Oleg, who had now stepped beside me, somehow marking a line they should have not crossed if they valued their lives. This was the impression his stance and his cold, authoritative and intimidating expression gave me; he took a step forward and challenged The Notorious directly, triggering the reaction of the other four pieces of crap.

"I advise you to leave immediately, if you do not want to get unable to speak and walk." I had never heard Oleg sounding like that and I also swallowed down feeling as if I was not able to move my body. This man here was...there wasn't a proper word to describe him, but as he spoke those apparently calm words, my guts reacted and my shivering stopped. He might be my unbreakable wall made of some not human substance, but I'd rather shot myself than letting something happen to him.

"Who the fuck are you?" Hissed someone beside Taylor the Notorious.

"None of your concern. Leave"

"He's a damn Russian, listen to that fucking accent," he sneered and I saw red, but Oleg felt my state of mind and placed a firm hand on my arm.

"What do you want from me? Beat it. I left the gang time ago," I growled, feeling my blood pulsing fast and wild in my veins. I badly wished to smash those faces with my punches.

"We never got it back at you properly for that little incident of January and before someone spotted your beloved black Ninja, so we decided to get even," the right hand explained to me clearly anticipating the pleasure to beat me to a pulp, looking forward to smear my blood on the concrete.

Before I could reply to that moron, two of his men tried to jump on us, but Oleg moved faster in front of me, hitting one so hard on the face with his elbow that the guy dropped on the ground like a ten-pound sack of shit. That one was completely out and cold and it left the others completely frozen on the place.

"I had warned you to leave," Oleg said with petrifying calm and freezing voice and I witnessed how for a moment they calculated what to do, whether to beat it or not.

However, there was no such luck for me and the reaction erupted crazier than expected, as they all four threw themselves on us like a battering ram. I dodged a kick and let my right foot ruthlessly collide with the jaw of the jerk, sending him on his knees, so I went to punch his face, but someone slammed me on the ground making me cough for the impact that stopped my breathing for a moment. The punch menaced to fall on my face so I protected with my arms, but it never came and the idiot found himself shrieking on the ground in pain, holding his arm. I gulped down, guessing that Oleg had probably broken it somehow in a rather vicious way, and when I sat up, I looked at him blocking a chain with his forearm, using it to drag the rat in his elbow range. Another ferocious blow on the nose and that one also passed out on the ground; I sprang up taking down a bastard wanting to hit him on the back with a knife.

"Stay out of it," Oleg growled at me.

"No fucking way," I groaned as a kick hit me on the rib, but not hard enough.

But in the matter of a second, the situation precipitated to deeper and more dangerous shit: before I could see, Taylor the Notorious pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. My legs went to move, but Oleg froze me there as he stopped right between me and the gun.

"If you dare to try to shoot him, you are dead," Oleg said assessing the bastard with eyes that hold no trace of fear; only repressed and vicious ire.

My blood turned into ice at seeing a gun pointed at his chest and for a moment fear and panic almost suffocated me, but then I shot up ready to jump in front of him and everything happened in the fraction of a moment: I went to stand in front of the gun as the asshole tried to move it on me and Oleg grabbed the weapon with his right hand so fast that I was not sure it actually happened, until the shot of it turned me into a statue. My breath went out as my eyes saw the blood of that piece of crap spilling from his leg. Oleg stood there with the gun and threatened the others to not move, simply with his mere presence.

I swallowed down and understood that this man here had probably already faced similar situation as soldier; I had a glimpse of the soldier he had been. But the admiration died as sudden anger mounted in my veins. He had risked his life for me and I sure as hell did not want that. He had exposed himself and got involved in my shit. I was searing and damn mad at him for not protecting himself and more than that, I was violently mad at myself. My fucked-up past had thrown us in this situation and it had endangered the person I loved.

"Do not move," Oleg ordered and I saw how he used his phone to call someone.

In short time two man arrived on a car and tied the five jerks up. They completely ignored me, but spoke to Anatoly; they gave me the impression of being policemen, but I was not sure. I wasn't sure what he told them, but as we moved our motorbikes away to leave the place, Oleg explained me that they would hardly see the light of the sun as free men again, given they were wanted for a street murder: high on drugs they had killed a couple by running over them with their Choppers and left them there die on the street.

He spoke to me in short words and ordered me to get my helmet and ride home. He had suddenly become the old impassive and ice-made bastard that would only order me around, completely ignoring me otherwise. His eyes darted at me quickly and something gripped and twisted my guts painfully. I knew that stare all too well. But I did not back down and I damn returned it right at him.

As we reached home, Oleg moved around without saying a word. The only question he made was to ask me if I was alright, if anything was broken or hurting. I gave him an answer in kind, because my rage and temper were now reaching their explosive level, so when he went to walk the stair that led to the first floor, I grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

"What the hell was that?" I groaned out feeling my blood boiling and hissing in my ears. "What the hell was that? Are you insane?"

"Anatoly," he warned me with hard and unmistakably enraged voice.

"No, don't give me that crap, you bastar..." I could not finish the sentence because I found myself slammed against the wall, his burning and dark eyes pinning me there without leaving me a chance to move, with his forearm pressed on my chest. Nor a chance to almost breath, because what I saw there in those searing wells left me numb.

"What were you thinking, Anatoly?" He pronounced each word with cold and barely controlled ire. "Tell me what you were thinking before, wanting to jump in front of me."

"I...I.." Once more my temper flared up and I tried to push him away. Without succeeding into it. "You tell me what you were thinking about! You're not freakin Hulk, you're not made of real concrete..you.."

"Do not dare to endanger your life like that anymore," he said with a voice so controlled that I dropped silent at once. "Do not dare to do it anymore, Anatoly." He slightly loosened up the grip on me, but did not let go, and his eyes drilled holes into mine. "You do not seem to understand that I am here to protect you; that I am here to take a bullet instead of you...it is my own duty, because I can be replaced, but you Anatoly cannot be replaced."

His words at first almost dropped my heart completely still, rendering my breathing deep and erratic; then they awaked my subsided anger and it all exploded at once.

"What the fuck are you talking about, you bastard?" My words blasted out in blind wildness and rage, the echo of his words painfully in my ears. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I was so mad that I managed to push him away, my hands grabbing his leather jacket in order to pull him closer. "You cannot be replaced for me, what on this freaking planet makes you think that?" I tightened the grip and he didn't react at first, simply staring at me impassively. But I was wrong. He was not staring at me in that usual infuriating and impassive way: his eyes reacted to my words by widening for a damn brief moment. "You are NOT replaceable for me...you damn, impassive bastard...you seem to not get it."

We stared at each other in thick and overwhelming silence, without moving a muscle and almost without letting go of our breaths. Then he surprised me so much that I almost chocked in my own air. Oleg closed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him; his body rested on the wall of the stairs. My heart almost ripped my throat open as I felt his hard lips resting on my forehead.

I didn't dare to breath.

I didn't dare to move a single nerve for the fear to break this unbelievable moment.

"I understand it now, Anatoly." His lips moved on my skin and my arms went around him, my hands grabbing his leather jacket so much that they could have tear it apart. "But you need to understand I cannot allow anything to happen to you."

"Why?" I asked without thinking about it.

"Not for the reasons you might consider, but because exactly like you, I do not want to lose you, Anatoly," he said with calmer tone and I could feel the barely controlled and hidden rage of before slowly leaving his voice.

My eyes closed and I clutched his jacket even tighter than before, leaving no space between us. It all felt part of another world, because right now nothing else existed aside Oleg and I, aside his arms now both firmly around me and his lips, warm and pulsing, still resting on my forehead.

Nothing that I had ever experienced before could be remotely compared to what I felt now, to how this simple and almost caste gesture left me.

What was before this man made me feel nothing; it meant nothing.

The rain started to fall first lightly, with a soft touch on the windows and on the door of the garage, then it became stronger and louder, echoing in the house. I breathed in his smell and I had never realized the sound of the rain could be so peaceful and pleasant; have I ever cared about the rain before? We did not move or talk for a long, blissful moment and I was scared of opening my eyes and letting go of this man; I was scared it was all the dream of an immature brat. However, he gently pulled us apart and his eyes studied my face, reading into me without much effort. The point was that right then, I could care less about what he was reading; it didn't freaking matter anymore.

"You look tired, Anatoly," he said assessing me in his usual way and I hid my fear the best I could. "You need to drink something warm and lie down." I simply nodded and his stared searched into me, leafing through my inner pages; so his hand rested on the side of my page and I freaking knew I had failed big time in concealing my damn and pathetic panic. "I am not going anywhere, Anatoly. I will make us a warm tea to drink and in the meanwhile you can use my shower."

My eyes darted at him wide in a mute question, as my brain registered and processed what he just told me; it all sent a warming feeling in my limbs and I tried to cover my smile, failing like the complete, laughable brat I was.

"Can I?" I didn't have it in me to complete the sentence and he had already told me. Yet, I needed to hear it once more, to have it confirmed once more and make sure I hadn't mistaken it.

"Yes, take a shower and I will be back in a couple of minutes," he patiently replied, resting his hand on the side of my face for another short moment.

Yes, I could really not give up on Oleg.

That night the rain kept falling down incessant and heavy, pelting the window of Oleg's room; he told me he had always enjoyed the sound of it and that at times he found it more pleasant than music. Somehow it didn't surprise me, and I started to think Oleg was right. After drinking the tea, he took a shower and then rested beside me on his bed only wearing a pair of lose shorts probably used for training; I had no idea how he never felt cold, but then again, today he had proved how this man was not a common human being. I had so many questions thundering my head that it hurt, but I shut them down. As my eyes took in the vision of his naked and tattooed torso, I knew I was in real deep troubles. How was possible for a person being so freaking ripped and solid? How would it feel to lie down his naked body? I had a very little idea of how his lips and hands felt on me and I was pretty sure that it will have turned me insane.

My desire was burning almost painfully, but right now I only wanted to enjoy the sound of the rain lying beside Oleg, feeling his unbreakable, quiet and reassuring presence beside me; what happened with those five pieces of crap had already washed away and for once I decided to not annoy him with tons of questions. For once, my temper rested down lulled by the sound of the rain. I needed to give my brain a break.

I was sprawled at his side, my head touching his shoulder, feeling his skin pulsing and warm. I wanted to feel more of him, I wanted to be closer and so I went to move, but his dark and intense stare stopped me and his words echoed in my mind once more: "Anatoly, do not test it harder than this for now." Thus I went to sit back, but he surprised me by pulling me closer, until my head was resting on his tattooed and ripped chest, while his arm secured around me back. My eyes closed because it all was too good to be true and I was damn scared something could break it.

"I am not going anywhere, Anatoly," he said with levelled and deep voice.

Had he read into my mind and heart? He might have done it, for all I knew.

"Spasiba." I murmured.

"Nye zha shtò," he replied close to my ear, his lips almost grazing it, and so a shiver travelled my entire body, leaving me in need for oxygen.

As I slowly calmed down, I fell asleep like a brat holding tight onto a dream, afraid of letting it slip away from his fingers. I fell asleep in Oleg's arms, breathing in his reassuring and calming scent, lulled by the sound of the rain.

Author's chit-chat:

Dear all, as I anticipated, we had a lot happening in this chapter. Both were pushed to open up to their feelings and desire, even though of course we cannot have them immediately act on it. It is not so easy, as you can see.

But Oleg indeed surprised me while writing this chapter.. he's very challenging as character and it takes due time to complete/create his POVs...not an easy task, believe me. However, I love him as character.

Now tell me: what do think about what happened? Did you expect any of this?

Looking forward to reading your comments and messages!

This week I will update "Fallen for an Angel" and I can tell you that I am already working on CH.15 of "Loving you is Forbidden"...a Halloween party is there for Anatoly.

Stay tuned!

Lots of love, hugs, magic and Meow,

-TheWitchAndTheCat-